Rekindling the Fire
by Amber DiCaprio
Summary: After the rebellion and returning to District 12, Katniss and Peeta must learn to love again. As time passes, they both begin to rekindle the fire that sustained them both through out their darkest days. Can their love survive against all odds?
1. Chapter 1

_**PLEASE, SKIP THE FIRST THREE OR FOUR CHAPTERS. THERE IS NOTHING MAJOR THAT HAPPENS BUT THEY ARE NOT WRITTEN WELL AT ALL AND ONCE YOU GET PASSED THEM, MY WRITING STYLE GETS BETTER. **_

_**Thank you,**_

_**Amber**_

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><p><strong>Dear Readers, I have started this new FanFic, it is probably going to get better over time, so please don't just stop after the first chapter, just bare with me. So without further words I know you won't read,Rekindling the Fire!<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 1~<strong>

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><p>I stare out the window into the road of the Victor's Village. All is silent. I mean I don't know why it wouldn't be since it's three in the morning. But still. My eyes move to the only other two houses that are inhabited here. Haymitch's is dark. Since he's probably sleeping off his drunkenness and preparing to sleep off the inevitable hangover that will plague him in the morning.<p>

My brain tells me not to look at the other house. But, my eyes seem to disagree. They move slowly to Peeta's house. I am puzzled at what I see. The lights are on and there is a figure moving around inside. I can just barely make him out. I step closer to the window, my face and hands pressing against the cool glass. He shuffles around the front room. I take a deep breath. I try to pretend to wonder why he is awake. But I know. He couldn't sleep either. The nightmares haunt him too. My nightmares consist of watching Rue, dear Rue who never should have been reaped that terrible day, Prim, I can't even begin to think about sweet Prim without losing it entirely, Mags, who gave her life up for me, Peeta, and Finnick and any other person I have witnessed lose their life, die all over again in my dreams. I also have nightmares of watching how Finnick die. Finnick, who left behind a wife and a son. Finnick who was the only one who understood me in Thirteen when Peeta was being held in the Capitol.

Tears threaten to spill over my gray eyes, so I force myself to think of Annie and their son, Finnick Jr. I smile at the thought of them. They came to visit a few months ago. He has his father's face, and his mother's soft eyes. I loved playing with him, and Annie appreciated the sleep she got when I was with him. She is probably the only person I really talk to now. I call her at least every week. We bonded after she came to Twelve.

I snap back into reality and find myself standing in front of Peeta's house. My eyes go wide; I didn't mean to walk over here! I suddenly stare down at my clothes. I have loose hanging red-and-white plaid pajama pants and a see-through white tank top on with a light jacket on. I had let Annie give me these clothes because she insisted on it since I helped her so much when she and Fin came. I quickly button up the jacket to cover my shirt and knock on the door before I lose the courage. My heart is racing and I dig my hands into the pockets of the jacket.

After a few moments, Peeta answers the door. He is sliding on a shirt. His clear blue eyes lock onto my instantly. He is obviously confused. "Hey," He says. It's more of a question than a statement.

I suddenly lose the ability to speak. I haven't looked into his eyes in months. I take in how he looks for a moment. His ashen blonde hair that is skimming just above his perfectly blue eyes. The way his chiseled features fit him perfectly. How his arms are perfectly toned and tanned, oddly enough. How he stares at me with his intense eyes.

"You ok?" He asks, obviously trying to get my focus off of him.

"Oh," I squeak, "Yeah, totally, like yeah." _Stop rambling!_ I scream at myself.

He nods slowly, "Did you want something?" He asks.

I can sense he is trying to keep a nonchalant tone. I take a deep breath, "I just saw the lights on, and I couldn't sleep…" My voice trails off.

"Come in," He says softly and opens the door so I can walk in. I smile gratefully at him and walk slowly into the house.

He closes the door behind us and motions to the couch. I sit down slowly on it and look up. He is in the kitchen and I can see him through the doorway. He is making bread.

I slowly stand up and walk into the room and sit on the counter. He glances up at me, and then looks back down at the bowl he is mixing.

I sigh and look around the room. I see pictures of his family, his mother, his father, all of his brothers. I smile at some of the pictures. Then I see one that catches my eye. It is of me. I am laughing at something. I have a dazzling seafoam green dress on with pearls all over me. It was obviously taken during the Victory Tour so long ago. I look back at him. Our eyes connect for a split second before he looks straight back into the bowl. I blush slightly because he was staring at me.

"Peeta…" I whisper and he looks up at me, his eyes are surprised, as if it's stunning I said his name. I take a deep breath, "Look, we can't just keep avoiding each other." I murmur softly. I can barely hear myself, but he obviously heard me because he nods slowly.

"I know…" his voice trails off like mine did a few moments ago. I scoot closer to him on the cool countertop, "Can I ask you something?" He murmurs.

I nod slowly, afraid he'll ask me something stinging. He looks into my eyes, "Why did you tolerate me while we were in Thirteen? I mean I was horrible to you…" This question stuns me. There are tears that threaten to spill over my eyes.

"I did it because I …" My voice stops because a sob wracks my body. Peeta steps closer to me, "Katniss, I'm sorry…" He whispers softly.

I shake my head, sending tears flying into the air, a few splashing against his face. He reached out to me, but I just jump off the counter and run through the door and into my house, slamming the door closed behind me. Sobs shake my body. I walk up the stairs and into my bathroom. I close the door behind me and slide to the white tile floor. I wrap my arms around my legs. I sniffle and listen to the quiet of my house. Then I hear it. Someone is pounding on my door. Tears flood my eyes again and I start sobbing.

I hear the door open and steps coming up the stairs.

There is a light knock on the door. I scoot away from it and lean against the wall. It opens and Peeta's head looks inside.

He looks at me and walks in. "Katniss…" He starts and sits down next to me. I look into his eyes. He stops.

I lean into him and bury my face into his chest. He stokes my back and wraps his strong arms around me.

I let out a soft, content sigh. I let my eyes flutter closed.

That's when the nightmare begins. First, it's me and Prim running in the Meadow. We are laughing and talking.

Suddenly, bombs start falling. Prim screams and runs ahead of me. "Prim!" I scream. "No!" But it's too late. She collapses. I run up to her and shake her, "Prim! Prim! Get up! You're not funny!" Tears flood my eyes. "Prim!" I start sobbing. I smell the strong scent of blood and roses. I look up and see President Snow grabbing Prim and taking her away. "Come back!" I scream and run after him. But he always seems to be too far ahead for me to get him. "Prim!" I shout and try to run faster. Suddenly, he turns around. But it isn't Snow. It's Gale.

I scream and suddenly jolt awake. Peeta is shaking me. "Katniss! Katniss! Wake up!" He's shouting.

I collapse into his arms, sobbing again.

He holds me close. "Katniss, calm down, it wasn't real, ok? I swear it wasn't." He holds me tightly.

I believe him. I nod and look up into his eyes. His eyes have tears in them and he tries to blink them away.

I smile and whisper, "We're crazy."

A smile tugs the edges of his lips, "How so, Miss Everdeen?"

I let out a soft laugh, "We're up at three thirty in the morning in my bathroom on the floor in each other's arms and sobbing."

He laughs. I smile at the sound. It's light and makes everything seem alright, even if just for a moment. "You're the one who's sobbing." He says, matter-of-factly.

I playfully slap his arm, "Hey! You're looking like you're about to cry yourself Mister Mellark!"

He grasps his arm where I just hit him and pretends to be hurt. "Abuse!" he says, and pretends to die.

I fall back onto the cool tile, laughing my head off. The tears of sadness have been replaced by ones of happiness. I haven't laughed for real since before we left Thirteen.

He collapses on the ground next to me, laughing even harder than I am. "Peeta, can I tell you something?" I ask. He nods, looking into my eyes. "I haven't had a peaceful night of sleep since the Quell." I whisper.

He smiles, halfheartedly, "Me either."

I pull him into a standing position. "The only way I ever slept normally without any nightmares was when I was with you," I say.

He smiles, "Same with me."

I grasp his hand and pull him out of the bathroom. I open the door to my bedroom and when he walks in, I close it behind us.

I take the jacket I've had on since I got up off and slide under the soft covers off my queen-sized bed. I lift them up so he can get in.

He does and encircles me with his strong arms.

I curl my own arms around his waist and press my smooth forehead against his own.

He smiles and I smile right back at him.

We both let our eyes close and I allow myself sleep peacefully for the first time in over a year and a half.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's Chapter 2 ;) Not much of an intro, I know I know, but still, at least I try lol**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2~<strong>

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><p>Light streams in through the window. I blink a few times and take a deep breath. I snuggle into Peeta's strong chest. His arms hold me close to him and I smile, knowing he's awake.<p>

He sits up and pulls me up, too. "Morning, sleepy girl."

I smile, "So, for the first time in two weeks, you wake up before me, and I'm the sleepy person?" I chuckle and bat at his arm, playfully. I sigh and lean against the headboard of the bed. We've had the same arrangement since that one night. Since I realized I need someone more than myself. Well, besides Greasy Sae, but she forces herself into the house to feed me.

I step out of the large bed and stretch. Peeta steps out of the bed on the other side and walks out the door. My eyes trail him until he disappears from view. I lie back down onto the bed and let my eyes close.

The nightmare starts like any other one would for me; I am having fun, enjoying myself. Then the nightmare part begins. It's the same every time. Gale has Prim. I scream at him, and yell to give her back. Or at least to save her. He just laughs. I try to catch up with him. Suddenly, he disappears. I scream. No answer. Suddenly, two mutts come barreling toward me. They are the wolf ones from the first Hunger Games. One is huge and black with grey eyes. The other is a small blond one with blue eyes. They come closer to me. Then I see their collars. Two coal pieces with _12 _marked on them. I scream and start running. But the black one jumps on me and snarls. It stares into my eyes. "Gale!" I screech and try to hit the thing in the face. It makes a sound like laugh and just bats at my face with its claws. My face starts bleeding badly. I start to choke on the blood. It fills my vision. The smell chokes me. I try to scream, but I can't.

"Katniss! Katniss! Get up!" I hear the shouting from above. "Katniss!" the voice shouts again. I am being shaken. I scream and swipe out with my hand. I jump off the bed screaming, fully awake. I look around. Peeta is clutching the side of his face where I scratched him. There is a small droplet of blood.

"Oh Peeta!" I gasp and run over to him. "Peeta, I'm so sorry!" I wrap my arms around him, and then the tears come.

He pulls me close to him. "Calm down Katniss, just take a deep breath, ok?" I nod and take a deep breath. "What happened? I thought you went downstairs."

I shake my head and wipe my eyes, "I fell back asleep, for like three seconds, and then…" I start sobbing again; the tears wrack my fragile body.

"Shh…" Peeta stokes me back and holds me close to him.

"He killed her Peeta," I whisper, the nightmares have driven me insane, so I finally admit it, "He killed her…" I bury my face into his strong chest.

"Just calm down, he did not kill her, alright? He did no such thing." He murmurs, keeping his arms around me.

I take a deep breath, and then allow him to comfort me whenever I wake up from a nightmare. I love the sensation of his arms around me, the way that they used to hold me.

The next few days pass by uneventfully, until one day while Peeta and I are filling in a new page in our book with drawings and information, that there is a knock on the door.

I look at him, confused, "Did you invite anyone over?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Nope, they only person I would talk to is Haymitch and he doesn't have the manners to knock."

I laugh at his comment, and then walk over to the door. I open the door and look straight into Gale's grey eyes. He looks up and his eyes light up.

"Katniss!" He jumps forwards and wraps his strong arms around me.

"Gale!" I squeak. He laughs and releases me.

"How've you been?" He asks. I am hyper-aware of his hands still on my arms.

"Great!" I say, my voice unnaturally high, "Me and…Great!" I squeak again. I hear footsteps behind me.

"Hey Gale." I hear Peeta say behind me. His voice is calm, but I can feel the anger radiating off him.

Gale stiffens as well, "Sorry Katniss, I didn't realize you had company." Gale says.

I shake my head, "No…" My voice trails off.

"I'm not really company, me and Katniss..." Peeta's voice trails off.

"You're married?" Gale asks, sarcastically.

"No!" We both say in unison. Gale smiles,

"Oh, well at least you keep each other company." Gale says, acting as if Peeta wasn't about to say something.

Peeta steps up beside me and nods, "Yeah, company." I step back and let Gale step inside. I close the door behind him and step between him.

I let out a breath. "So, Gale, how's the big job in 2?" I ask, trying to cool the tension between the two.

Gale breaks his glaring contest with Peeta and smiles at me, "Great, we're really making progress with the conversion."

I smile and nod. "Great!" I say this with a little too much enthusiasm.

Gale chuckles, "Katniss, you're trying a little too hard to be peppy, just calm down and be yourself."

I smile and feel a little better. "We all know I'm not the peppy type."

They both actually laugh, "Yeah, more like anti-pep." Peeta comments and grins.

I start really laughing. Gale shuffles and looks at the two of us. I blush slightly, then grab both their arms and pull them into the kitchen. I slide onto the counter and start rummaging through the cabinets. I grab three cups and a bottle of water. I set two cups down in front of them and one in front of me. They look at me, confused. I pour water into each of the cups and toss the water bottle into the trash can. I sit down in the chair and look up at them, "So, we're going to be normal, we're going to talk, we're going to be civil," I put emphasis on the word, "And we're going to not have glaring contests. Okay?" I say it as more of a statement that a question.

They both hesitate for a second, then sit down in the chairs next to me. "So, Gale, how's District 2?" I ask, for the second time.

He glances over my shoulder at Peeta for a moment before he responds, "Great, we're really pulling things back together." He takes a sip of his water and looks into my eyes, "It would be great if you know, you would come with me."

I hear Peeta scoff behind me, but I smile, "Gale, you know I'm needed here for the time being."

He smirks, "I guess people need you here more than you want to be here."

I feel Peeta kick the back of my chair, but I ignore it, "Civil." I say, my patience running low.

Gale grins, "Oh, Catnip, I am being civil."

I laugh softly, "I know you are."

I pull the book Peeta and I have been working on towards me. "Peeta and I have been working on this." I show him the book.

He nods and smiles, "That's great Katniss."

I smile and lean back against the chair.

Peeta picks up the paintbrush he was using earlier and begins to paint slowly, I lean forward. I watch his concentrated eyes

He looks up at me and smiles, "Remember the last time I caught you staring at my eyes?" he asks. I blush, "Mhm, we were working on the plant book and you were drawing." He chuckles and looks into my eyes. He picks up the paintbrush and looks at the bristles. I look at him, confused. He looks up at me, a playful glint in his eyes and he paints a line straight from the top of my forehead down to the tip of my nose. I gasp and swat at the brush.

"Peeta!" I squeal, trying to sound angry, but burst out laughing. I lean forward and put my head into his chest, still laughing and he rests his chin on my head and laughs equally as hard. I pull up the hem of his shirt and look up at him. He raises his eyebrows, but I just grin playfully. I wipe the length of the smear on his shirt and the expression on his face sets me off all over again. I almost fall back off the chair, but he catches me.

The two of us are still laughing our heads off when we both seem to realize Gale is sitting next to me, staring at his hands. I sit up and compose myself. "Well, do you need a place to stay?" I ask him.

He smiles, "That would be great, Katniss."

I glance at Peeta, he is painting again. "Well, my mother's room is a few down from mine." I cough slightly; "Her old room…" my voice trails off.

Gale nods, well, my bags are outside, so I'll be right back." He stands and walks out. I hear the door shut behind him.

I look over at Peeta. He is looking right back at me. This time we don't look away though.

He blinks once, "Stay with me." I whisper to him, he seems to realize how much I need him,

"Always." He whispers back to me.

I smile and then we both lean in and our lips meet perfectly.

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><p><strong>Yaaay! Katniss and Peeta forever lol, but don't get too excited, the future is alwasy unexpected ;)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey Guys 3 Thanks for the awesome comments! I really appreciate it! Sorry this one took so long to complete, I had to stop for the weekend because me and my boyfriend were celebrating something really important this weekend. I'm pregnant! So yeah, big weekend ;) Thanks for the patience! So without further jabbering, here's Chapter 3!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3~<strong>

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><p>I sit crossed-legged on the couch in between Gale and Peeta. We are watching Plutarch's new show. I scoff at the stupid people, singing their hearts out, and failing badly. There are points when the three of us laugh. When the credits role, Gale stands up and smiles at me, a genuine smile.<p>

"I'm going to go stay over with my family. But I'll be back in the morning." He shots a look at Peeta that suggests if he does anything in the night, he will personally kill him.

I sigh and stand up, "Alright, I'll see you in the morning, or whenever." I hug him. "Night!" I say, smiling.

He places a soft kiss on my cheek and walks out the door.

I raise my eyebrows and just turn to Peeta, "Peeta…" I begin. But the look in his eyes stop me, it is calm, like it always has been.

"Katniss, don't worry, I know you weren't the one to kiss him, so you don't need to explain." He says, and wraps his arms around me.

I smile and bury my face into his shirt. It smells like him. Like his cologne. Like vanilla frosting and sugar. I look up at him. He has a genuinely content look in his clear blue eyes. I get up on my toes and plant a soft kiss on his warm lips.

Without warning, he suddenly leans into me and kisses me, keeping his lips against mine. His strong arms encircle my small frame and entrap me, with no intention of releasing me. And I won't let them. I kiss him, and make up for all those months we weren't able to feel our lips against each other. I take a small step closer to him, pressing my body against his.

I carefully pull him back onto the couch and move on top of him, straddling him with my strong legs. I open my mouth slightly, and he does the same. We silently the kiss, the only sound is the soft noises from our mouths. I let my hands move down his torso, and linger at his abdomen. I feel him smile into the kiss and press his lips more heavily against mine. My fingers dance lower and lower until they are sitting at the zipper of his pants. I grasp the zipper and slowly pull it down. Slowly…slowly…

_Bam!_ I squeal and jump off of him. _Bam! Bam! _Someone is at the door. I blush and glance at Peeta. He is fumbling with trying to re-zip his pants and stand up at the same time. I jog over to the door and swing it open. Haymitch stands there, his grey eyes cloudy and his dark hair is messy, he has Buttercup in his hands.

"This beast was in my trash cans and was making enough noise for people in hell to hear it!" He snarls. "He was interrupting my thoughts." He hisses, the alcohol fumes fly right into my face.

I narrow my eyes, pissed off he came over now, "Look, maybe you interrupted me!" I half-shout. I regret the words the second they are out of my mouth. Once he sees Peeta, he'll think we were seriously sleeping together.

He grunts, "What were you doing that I could interrupt?" He tries to look around me, but I step in the line of his view. He growls and tosses Buttercup at me. The cat lands on his paws and darts into the house, disappearing into the kitchen where he has a small pillow that I have so kindly let him use after he pissed all over it.

"Sleep off this alcohol, and then you can dig into what I'm doing!" I hiss and slam the door in his face.

Peeta walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me from behind. "What's he want?" he asks, his voice slightly muffled by my hair.

"Buttercup pissed him off, so he thought he'd dump him here." I growl and point to the kitchen, where there is the noise of cups falling and rolling around on the floor. I just sigh and wave my hand, then turn to him, being careful not to allow his hands to move. I look up into his eyes, and then smile playfully, "Now," I whisper and allow my mouth to stop a centimeter from his, "Where were we?" my voice is barely audible.

He stops me, and leans his forehead against my own, then looks into my eyes, "Are you sure you want to do this, Katniss?" He asks, softly. His voice is slightly huskier than usual.

I close my eyes for a moment, then open them and stare straight into his eyes. "Yes," I murmur, "I am sure." I say.

His eyes practically light up and he leans down and kisses me. His fingers tap my lower back softly, as if not knowing what else to do. Suddenly, he lifts me up into his arms and bounds up the long flight of stairs in three huge strides and kicks open the door to my bedroom. He sets me down onto the bed in a sitting position, and then quickly closes the curtains at the large window.

I laugh and watch him walk over to me and he grins, and then closes the door, locking it.

He stands in front of me, then straddles me, as I was doing to him earlier and pushes back on my shoulders so that I am lying underneath him. I look at his face, searching it for if _he_ wants to be doing this. He has a lustful look on his face. I take that as a yes. I wrap my arms around his neck and place a soft kiss on his lips. He looks at me questioningly and then I let out a soft laugh, "Disappointed, Mellark?" I whisper softly.

He grins, "You wish, Everdeen." He begins to kiss right below my jaw and he moves his warm lips down my neck and to my collarbone. He pulls the neck of my shirt down, and it being a stretchy-material, he easily pulls it below my bra-less chest.

My eyes widen in surprise. I allow my hands to drop onto the bed. His lips move down further and further. His tongue flicks in and out, teasing me. My fingers curl around the sheets tightly. His mouth is about to kiss my right nipple. Suddenly, he stops and rests his forehead against mine. "Hey!" The word comes out as a squeak.

He chuckles, "Now I think you're the one who's disappointed." He murmurs, but then slides my shirt over my head and throws it onto the floor in a heap. He stops and looks at me. He stares for a few seconds, so I blush and cross my arms over my small chest. Peeta's hands grip my wrists, "Don't"

I raise my eyebrows, then put him mouth a millimeter from his, "You just gonna stare or are you gonna do something?" I whisper, my eyelashes brushing against his.

He lets out a slow breath and begins kissing right below my ear. Without meaning to, I let out a soft moan as his tongue grazes my soft, tender flesh. His soft lips move down my neck and onto my visible collar-bone. I curl my slender fingers around the sheets of my bed. His lips travel lower on my chest until they are right above my breasts. His warm tongue grazes my nipple. I let out a cross between a moan and a squeal. He lets out a small laugh. His lips move over and then he kisses from one side of my chest to the other, grazing my other nipple with his warm tongue.

I let out a low moan and slide his shirt off. My fingers dance in the grooves of his muscles. They trace where they go and how they are shaped. I feel his groin pressing against me. It feels hard. I smile; I have got him right where I want him. I let my hands push his loose sweatpants lower onto his hips. He does the same thing with mine. Finally, I get sick of him just inching my pants off, so I push them low and then kick them off onto the floor. I push his pants low enough with my feet so that he can do the same.

He attempts to, but the waistband gets caught on his prosthetic leg. He lets out an aggravated groan and impatiently tries to get the pants off.

I laugh and kiss his lips, "Clam down, Mr. Mellark," I whisper, "Katniss will help." I let my hands dance down his torso, and allow my fingers to linger slowly near his groin.

He lets out a low moan, "Katniss don't tease." His voice is husky, and he has a glaze over his clear blue eyes.

I giggle, and let my fingers move over his bulging groin. Then, slowly I move my nimble fingers down to where his pants are caught and toss them off of the bed into the heap that includes both of our shirts and pants.

As I move upward, I feel his strong hands grasp my backside; I let out a loud gasp and slap my hands against his strong, bare chest. "Peeta!" I squeal.

He lets out a soft laugh, "That's payback." He whispers softly in my ear, making me itch to remove our past articles of clothing. His hands move deftly around my lower back. I feel him writing something with his fingers trace something on my back.

I laugh, "You excite me" I whisper to him and grab his left hand and move it to the spot on my underwear that is warm and wet.

He chuckles, "Well," He murmurs in my ear, sending shock waves up and down my spine, "I never thought I'd see the day Katniss Everdeen got _excited_." He puts emphasis on the word, then laughs softly again. I am about to object, but then he grabs my small hand and places it over his hard, bulging groin. "Lucky for her, I am equally as excited over this event." He hisses this into my ear, and flicks his tongue onto the flesh right below it.

I let out a pleasure-filled gasp, "Peeta!"

He chuckles softly and places his warm hands on either side of the waist, his thumbs tracing the outline of my hipbones. He slowly pushes the waistband of my underwear so they sit on my lower hips.

I put my wet lips right next to his ear and whisper softly, "Are you going to be a gentleman for the first time in your life?" I smile sexily and move my fingers around his upper arms.

He chuckles, "You wish." He whispers and practically tears off my thin underwear. "Better?" He laughs against my soft hair.

I smile, "Perfect." My thumbs slide down his sides. His muscles retract at the touch of my cold hands. My fingertips drum against his boxers. I slide my thumbs under the waistband and put some light pressure to his hips bones. I wait for an extra second, and then push them down to his knees and he quickly kicks them off, not letting them get caught on my leg like his pants.

When I let my eyebrows go up slightly, his hands inch down, almost self-consciously, but I quickly stop him. "Don't" I whisper softly, imitating him from earlier.

He laughs softly and puts his hands back around my waist, "I wouldn't even think of it." He whispers quietly and kisses me.

I smile against his lips and open my mouth slightly. He quickly does the same and slides his tongue into my mouth. I do the same and our mouths move together. He lets his hips move lower, closer to mine, and then taps his fingers against my sides. I arch against his touch.

He laughs, "Desperate girl."

I try to think of something biting to say right back to him, but my mind is fuzzy around the edges and I can't even say his name, let alone formulate an entire sentence. So, I settle for making him pay physically. So, I move my hips against his, but then let them drop back against the bed.

His eyebrows rise, as if questioning me. I just laugh and dig my fingers into his ashen blonde hair. I allow my hips to rise ever so slightly, and his suddenly come crashing against my own. "Desperate boy." are the only two words I can get out before I groan in pleasure. He chuckles, then deftly moves his groin against me and glances at me, as if asking permission.

I feel Goosebumps rise along my flesh as I nod. He slowly, almost timidly, puts a small part of him into me, barely even the tip, when I yelp out in pain. The change is immediate. I feel the pressure inside of me. I dig my fingernails into his neck.

He silently waits for the initial tears to fade from my eyes until he pushes himself into me further.

The pain is slowly replaced by pleasure. He thrusts himself into me. I let out a loud gasp. When he glances at me, I nod in reassurance, and then quickly kiss him to block out any remaining pain.

Our hips move in unison, not taking more than a few seconds to find a regular rhythm to move against each other in. I let out a soft moan.

I feel him holding himself, so I softly whisper into his ear, "You don't need to hold yourself." I feel him relax completely.

For a few moments, there is total silence, only broken with our soft moans or gasps. But within a second of him moaning loudly, I feel something rush into me. I let out a loud gasp, when suddenly I release myself as well and we both let out loud moans and collapse on the bed in a heap, our arms searching for each other.

I stroke his face and kiss him, "I love you," I whisper over and over, "I love you so much," I pull him close to me and kiss him.

After another moment of this, he does the same to me, kissing along my sweaty neck, caressing me, saying how amazing I am, how beautiful I am and that nothing could change that.

I curl up next to him, not bothering to put my clothes back on, and bury my face into his strong chest. I look up at him for a moment; I see his eyes are fighting to stay open. I kiss him and whisper one last time, "I love you." Then he is overcome by sleep.

For a few moments I just watch him breath, listen to his soft breaths and feel his chest fall and rise in an even rhythm. After another second of two, I place my hands on the back of his neck softly, trying as hard as I can not to wake him.

His even pattern of breathing stops for a moment, almost questioningly, but then quickly falls back into his peaceful sleep. I smile and move as close to him as I can, "I love you." I whisper to his sleeping figure. Then allow myself to be overcome by sleep.

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><p><strong>That whole thing with Gale kissing Katniss was totally an "OH SNAP!" moment xD But yeah, they really rushed into this whole sex thing, and you'll see the after effects later on, but not too soon ;) Thank you dear readers! I love you all!<strong>

**~Amber**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey my dear readers! Your comments are the things that keep me writing :D .. has become my main supporter! I LOVE YOU! XD Anyway! Thanks for all the congrats, we're both highly excited and looking forward to the birth on September 14th, 2011. Anyway! I need more feedback guys, I mean no offence, but I have had over 2,000 views and only 8 reviews not counting my response, please guys, I won't know if people are liking it and if I should keep moving forward! Ok! Well here's Chapter 4! Enjoy :D**

**~Love, Amber**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4~<strong>

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><p>I feel a slight breeze ruffle the hair that lies across my face. I sigh, not wanting to open my eyes. My eyelids feel heavy. I let them open halfway. I look down at my body and see I am fully dressed. I raise my eyebrows, "Was it a dream?" I wonder aloud. I push back the covers and then attempt to sit up. The pain is immediate. I feel tears in my eyes for a split second. "Nope, definitely reality." I whisper and stand, slowly.<p>

I take slow steps to the door and see the evident signs of Peeta. The window is wide open; and there is a tray of tea on the dresser with a small loaf of bread. I smile to myself and make my way to the bathroom and when I emerge, he is sitting on the bed, smiling at me.

"Hey, sleepy head." He pulls me into his arms as he says this. I feel his warm hands rubbing my back, "Have a nice night?" He whispers in my ear, playfully.

I bat at his arm and pull away, "No, I actually didn't," When his face falls, I smile and grab his hand, "I had an amazing night." I whisper.

He looks into my eyes and smiles, "So did I." He squeezes my hand and leads me over to the bed and places the tray between us.

"So, what's for breakfast?" I ask playfully, and intertwine my fingers with his.

He smiles and pours us both some tea, "Well, we have wonderful white bread and green tea, plus," He whispers and leans close to me, "All the sweets you can get." He kisses me.

I let out a cross between a moan and a gasp, and then lean into his kiss. I dig my fingers into his back and pull him onto of me, knocking over the tray, sending the tea falling to the ground. But neither of us breaks the kiss to pick it up.

When we both come up form air, he begins to kiss right below my jaw and down my neck. I let out a soft moan, but then stop, because I hear it, "Peeta," I hiss. He keeps kissing down my neck, making my mouth release another soft moan, but I push against his shoulder, "Peeta!"

He looks up at me, "What?"

I hear the steps coming up the stairs, "Someone's here!" I hiss.

But it's too late, his strong legs are still straddling me, his lips still close to my neck, and my shirt is still halfway off, without either of us meaning to remove it, when the door swings open.

At first he doesn't look directly at us, his eyes go to the spilt tea on the floor and the bread and tray kicked off the bed. But the second his gray eyes reach the two of us on the bed, his eyebrows shoot up in shock.

"Haymitch!" I squeal as Peeta jumps off me and practically pulls his pants up to his chest. I push my shirt down to my waist and blush beet red, "Wha…what are you doing here?" I ask, my voice shaking in embarrassment.

His eyes move between the two of us. Peeta has his hands covering his face, obviously attempting to cover up his girlish blushing. He points to the open window, "I heard a crash and decided to come up in case you were in trouble." He says, his voice showing his embarrassment, "But I guess that you're in capable hands." He quickly turns on his heel and begins his trek down the stairs.

Peeta quickly follows him and follow Peeta, "Haymitch, wait!" He says and grabs his shoulder. "You can stay for breakfast if you want to."

Haymitch just lets out a soft chuckle, "Alright, so neither of you mined I just walked in on you having sex?" he sneers. The fumes of his breath are just hitting me.

I gag, but hold my ground. "We were not having sex!" I hiss, "We were just…" my voice trails off, _we were just what?_ A million excuses run thorough my head as Haymitch stares at me expectantly, well as expectant as a man who is dead drunk can be. "Just…" The first decent thing that enters my head shoots out of my mouth, "Socializing!" I regret the words the second they're out of my mouth.

Haymitch lets out an obnoxiously loud laugh, "Socializing! That's a new name for it!" He starts coughing because he is laughing so hard.

Peeta looks at me, an amused twinkle in his eyes, "Socializing?" He mouths and chuckles softly, the right red fading from his face.

I take a deep breath, "Yes, socializing!" I snap at Haymitch, I need to come up with a reasonable explanation why Peeta was on top of me, so I pause for another second, "We were just discussing and such!"

When I look up at Haymitch's face, he has the most amused look on his face, so I just hang my head and sigh, "Whatever, sex." I mumble as Haymitch guffaws.

Even Peeta lets out another soft chuckle and wrap his arms around me, "But really, Haymitch, you can stay for breakfast, I think I know something to help with your hangover."

Haymitch eyes the two of us, and then nods, "Alright, just don't strip down while I'm watching." He turns around and stumbles down the stairs.

I glance up at Peeta and he kisses my forehead, "Smooth one, Everdeen." He lets go of me and jogs down the stairs.

I sigh and walk into the bedroom. I begin to clean up the spilt tea and bread on the ground. Once there is just a large puddle of tea sitting on the floor, I walk downstairs and toss the tray and tea pot into the sink. I place the bread on the counter, not knowing what to do with it.

Peeta and Haymitch are sitting at the table eating another loaf of bread, my favorite kind, the one with berries and almonds inside. I sit down in the chair next to Peeta. I snatch a piece of bread from his plate and laugh when he makes a face at me.

"Haymitch was just saying he is now owns geese." I can tell by the way that he is saying this that he is trying to contain his laughter.

I smile, "So, are we gonna be getting eggs?" I stare him down, in his drunken state; he won't be able to say no.

He narrows his eyes at me, "Maybe, depends on how you act!" He looks at me triumphantly, as if saying this was his biggest accomplishment.

I scoff, "Oh, you'll never know how I act if you're drunk he whole time, but don't worry, I know how to steal." I flash a triumphant grin at him, just as he did to me moments ago. He narrows his eyes and takes a sip of whatever Peeta gave him to drink.

Peeta stands and grabs the knife that is sitting on the counter and slices more bread, carefully. I readjust how I am sitting because my _lower parts_ are still sensitive.

After about ten more minutes of chatting, someone knocks on the door. I know its Gale. I turn to Haymitch, "You tell him you walked in on us doing anything, and you will have a bullet through your skull." I hiss.

His eyebrows go up, and he nods, knowing I will personally do the job if he opens his mouth. He just takes another sip of his drink and lowers his eyes.

I walk to the door and take a deep breath. My fingers clasp around the knob and I pull it open. But the person who is standing there is not Gale.

Her eyes go straight to my face, "Katniss!" Annie gasps. She wraps her free arm around me and smiles. Finn gurgles and reaches out to me.

A real smile spreads across my face, "Annie!" I wrap both of my arms around her. When she holds out a thrashing Finn, I grab him and tickle his small stomach. He lets out a gurgling laugh and buries his small face into my chest.

Annie laughs and I let her in. "Katniss, I'm so sorry I didn't warm you before I came, I was just so lonely, and I had so much fun the last time I came."

I smile, "Don't be! I'm so happy you're here!" I actually sound like a teenage girl with an actual friend over. For the first time, I actually look down at Finn's face. I choke out a half sob. His sea foam green eyes are trained on my face. The same way Finnick would do. I clasp my hand over my face and compose myself. _No,_ I say to myself _you're not going to cry!_ I take a deep breath and hug him close to me. "Come on in, Haymitch and Peeta are in the kitchen." I usher her in and bounce in with a laughing/drooling Finn.

"Oh! Look!" Haymitch says sarcastically, "You didn't need to threaten me!" When I glare at him, he just laughs.

"Hmm?" Annie asks, confused.

Haymitch just holds up his hand, "I walked in on Fire Girl and Baker Boy over here having sex!" He lets out a loud guffaw and slams his fist into the table, cracking up at himself.

Annie just blushes and raises her eyebrows, "That's…" Her voice trails off; even she can't think of something to reply to that.

I can feel my own face go beet red and I glare at Haymitch, "We were not!" I start to finish my sentence, but Peeta cuts me off.

"No sex, just socializing." His voice is amused and I can't help but crack up. This sets Finn off and he starts blubbering nonsense. Annie has a smile on her lips and Haymitch is still cracking up at his previous statement.

"Anyway, Haymitch, whenever you're ready I can walk you back home." Peeta offers, glancing my way, seeming to know I want to be alone with Annie.

Haymitch has begun gasping to retain his laughing, "Alright." He says after a minute, "I'm ready." He waves to us and they walk out.

Annie turns to me and smiles, "So what were you two doing that Haymitch was able to guess what you were doing?"

I blush again, "Nothing!" I can tell by the look on her face she doesn't buy it. "Alright, maybe we were in bed with each other, but I mean we just did…" I pause, "Things last night! We're not that obsessed!" I giggle and Finn bats at my hair. "But he was on top of me, and I guess my shirt looked kind of off..." my voice trails off and we both start cracking up.

"Pfft, I bet it took you two like five seconds to go into full out sex mode." Annie's eyes twinkle in the way that shows that she is getting better, and she is no longer the mad victor that everyone avoided.

I open my mouth in mock shock, "Hey! It was more like fifteen, ten tops!"

She throws her head back laughing, "Fine! Fine! I'll give you that!" We both laugh.

Finn gurgles and bounces in my laps. I look at him and the emotions hit me full force again, "He looks exactly like Finnick…" I murmur and stroke his bronze curls.

Annie smiles, "I know..." Her voice is barely audible as she stares at her son, "He is what keeps me going, and he is what reminds me that I will always have a piece of Finnick with me."

I hug Finn close to me, "Annie, I want you to come here whenever you want, no notice needed, ok?" She nods and then there is a sound from the den.

"Back!" I hear Peeta call from the other room.

Annie glances at me, "So, when, and yes, _when_ not _if_, are you two going to get married?" Her fingers tap on the tiled table.

I raise my eyebrows, "That is not happening anytime soon, so yeah…" I try to convince myself I really don't want it to happen, that I still believe I don't want kids, or to even have a husband. But there is a strong feeling in my chest that suggests otherwise.

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><p><strong>How was it? Sorry I cut it off there, I need to go out and I can't get on during the work week, so I wanted to give y'all a little reading material while I am away ;) Reviews are loved!<strong>

**~All love, Amber**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey Dear Readers :D Sorry it took me soo long to update I've been crazy busy lately for some odd reason lol I decided to reward y'all with a longer chapter, so without further comments no one will read, Chapter 5!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5~<strong>

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><p>"Run!" I screech at the top of my lungs. "Finnick run!" My legs are flying as I try to pull Finnick with me. The lizard mutts are trailing us and quickly gaining. "Finnick!" I am pleading now, "Run for Annie!" I shout and pull his hand. The sewer is closing in around us.<p>

He stumbles and his sea foam green eyes lock on mine for a moment before the mutts descend on him. They attack within seconds and tear at his body.

"Finnick!" I screech and throw myself at the beasts. "Get off of him!" I shoot at them, but the bullet just bounces off the lizard like a play toy. "Finnick!"

I catch his eyes, they are filled with pain. Suddenly, the lizards evaporate into thin air and a broken Finnick is left before me. "Finnick!" I throw myself at him and try to stop the blood coming from all over him.

My fingers fumble with my clothes so I can use them as bandages. "Finnick just hold on!" Tears are filling my eyes, "Just hold on!"

His warm hand envelopes my own for a split second before his entire body turns into a pile of blood red roses.

I start choking on the stench and back away from the pile. "Finnick!" I scream and search for him. The smell is becoming intoxicating to me. "Please!" I shout. I collapse on the ground, overcome by the smell and realize there is blood all over the ground.

Someone stands over me and I look to their face. Finnick. "This is for you." He hisses and poises his trident over me.

"Stop!" I scream and thrash underneath him, he doesn't relent on the pressure his strong legs have on me. "Finnick it's me! Katniss!" I shout.

His green eyes narrow at me, "I know." He hisses. His strong muscles bunch together, and send the trident flying into my chest.

I feel a crippling pain, but I don't die. No that wouldn't work. Too kind even in my sickest nightmare.

I let out a long scream. It seems endless. Why should I end it? It is the signal that I am still alive and he should just finish me off.

"Katniss!" I hear a distant voice shout. "Katniss wake up!" It shouts. It's not Finnick. I know that. But it makes my heart stir. It makes my mind turn on. "Katniss!"

Something is shaking my body. But I don't move I just lay perfectly still.

"Katniss!" It shouts. Suddenly, the voice has a name. The name registers in my head. _Peeta._ "Wake up! Please wake up!"

I jolt upwards and let out a shriek, "Finnick!" My forehead connects with Peeta's chin, but I don't care. My grey eyes dart around the room frantically for him. When I see he is nowhere to be found, the nightmare strikes my heart with a dagger. So I do the only logical thing in this situation. I bury my face into Peeta's strong chest and start sobbing.

"Shh." He murmurs softly and strokes my brown hair. "Don't worry, it wasn't real." His strong arms encircle me and while one hand stays on my head, the other moves up and down my back slowly.

"He because died of…me!" I get out the last word before another round of sobs wrack my now fragile body. "He deserved…to kill me!"

"Katniss!" Peeta says, his voice now firm as he grabs me by my upper arms and forces me to look at him, 'It wasn't real, okay? I am real; Finnick would never have even attempted to kill you!" His voice is now half-shouting. His calm eyes seem to be flaming with determination. Determination to get me to come back to him.

I take a deep breath, swallow a lump of tears, and nod. "Okay." Is all I can get out. The word is barely audible, so I repeat it, "Okay, I am back Peeta." I say in my normal voice, but it cracks on his name.

He nods and kisses my forehead. "Good," He whispers softly and presses his forehead against my own, "Because I need you." He pauses for a second, and then places a soft kiss on my soft lips, "More than you'll ever know."

I wrap my arms around him and let out a soft sigh. I breathe in his scent. Vanilla. I loved it. His scent always seemed to vary during the day, depending on what bread he made that day. But, when he gets into bed, he always smells like vanilla. No matter what.

That's when the cry breaks us apart. We lock eyes for a second, "I got him." I say. I flip the covers off of me and move into the hallway stealthily. With my careful hunter's tread, I walk into the room the crying is within.

His sea foam green eyes lock onto me instantly. His chubby little infant arms reach out to me and he begins to babble something unintelligible.

"Hey little Finn," I whisper and pull him out of the makeshift crib. "What are you doing?" I murmur and stroke his soft locks of hair.

"Mawma!" He babbles as fat tears roll down his cheek. His pudgy fingers tug on my hair.

"Hush baby," I whisper and lay his head against my shoulder, "Don't worry, Mommy just needed a break from you," I sway softly and stroke his small back. "She's at home for a little while, just for alone time to think about Daddy." I let the last word fall off my lips and I bite my lower lip to stop the tears. "He would have loved you, so so much Finn, I know he would have." He lets out a small sigh and snuggles deeper into my shoulder, "He never would have left Mommy if he had known you were coming, but because of him, you're safe…" The words hang in the air for a moment, "You're safe, he made sure of that, and he is watching over you from Heaven, making sure you stay out of trouble." I take a deep breath, but keep talking soothing words to the small child, "When he laughed, he would light up a room." I whisper, "He was the best knot-tier I ever knew," I let out a small laugh, "He loved Mommy so much. And when he was away from her, he was so sad, Finn." I take a deep breath, "You want me to sing?" I whisper in his small ear. His soft sigh is my answer.

_Deep in the Meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again the open, the sun will rise_

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_

His breathing has slowed down, I know he is asleep, but I keep going.

_Deep in the Meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes, let your sorrows lay_

_And when again you wake, they'll wash away_

I allow a single tear to roll down my cheek and softly splash against my hand.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you_

I hug Finn close to me for a moment, and then lay him down in the crib. I lean over and kiss his forehead, "I love you, Finn." I whisper softly and push a strand of his golden hair away from his face.

"You'll make an amazing mother." I hear Peeta say softly behind me.

"Peeta!" I gasp and spin on my heel. His clear blue eyes are clouded with tears. "How…" I take a deep breath, "How long have you been there?" I ask, trying not to sound embarrassed that he heard me talking to Finn.

"I followed you in here." He smiles softly and steps into the room more. "And what I said is true." He must pick up on my confusion, because he just laughs softly, "About you making an amazing mother, you will." He grabs my hands and kisses my nose.

I laugh softly, "Yeah right, I probably won't even make it through child birth let alone raising a child." I glance at Finn, "Come on," I whisper, "I don't want to wake him because then he'll never fall back asleep." I herd him out of the room and close the door quietly behind me.

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh yeah you'll make a terrible mother." He pokes my arm playfully, "You'll be perfect and you know it." When I stick my tongue out at him, he just laughs and pulls me down the hallway. "We might as well stay up, it's four-thirty."

I nod, "Alright, as long as you promise to make me a cheese bun," I wink at him playfully and cut in front of him on the third to last step and move into the kitchen.

"No way, Everdeen!" He says, laughing.

I mock-pout, "Fine then! I'll just burn the house down trying to make my own!" I grin triumphantly, knowing he'll make me a damn cheese bun over letting me burn our home down.

He bites his lower lip, "Gosh! Fine! I'll make you a stupid cheese bun, but only because I never have and never will trust you around large appliances."

I laugh and open the fridge, grabbing the cheese. I toss it to him and bump the door closed with my hip. I walk around him and then look out the window. Since it is early summer, the sun is peeking over the horizon. I smile and pull Peeta over to the window.

"Beautiful." He whispers softly. His eyes are locked into the distance and they have a look of intensity in them.

I kiss his cheek, "I'm gonna try to go hunting today." I had been meaning to for a little while, but I never got around to it.

He looks at my face and nods slowly, "Alright, just be careful, okay? I need you to stay safe." He whispers the last word and presses his warm lips against my own.

I kiss him back and place my hand behind his head, keeping him from moving away from me. But I know he won't even try.

The thing that pulls us apart is the knocking at the door. "I am tempted to not answer," I mumble, "Due to all of our recent issues with people coming here." Despite that, I walk over to the door and open it.

"Hey," says Gale. He looks at my face and smiles softly.

"Hey," I say, smiling, "I was about to go hunting, join me?" I ask and step out of his way so he can step inside.

He just studies my features for a moment, before he kisses me.

I have no time to react before he is stepping back, "I love you Katniss, that will never change," He takes a deep breath, as if fighting tears, "But, I know you'll never love me back because we were just never meant to be."

"Gale…" I begin

"No," He cuts me off, and I can hear the emotion in his voice, "I just want you to be happy, okay? Peeta is the luckiest guy I know, because he has your heart. But, Katniss always know you have mine." He bites his lower lip and closes his eyes for a second, "One day I'll move on, I don't know, I'll probably find someone else, but…" His voice trails off, "But you had strings tied to my heart, when you fell in love with Peeta, you tore a piece of it out, and you'll always have that piece, nothing will take it away from you."

"Please, Gale…" I whisper, I can feel the tears coming.

"No, Katniss, I'll come back, maybe soon, maybe not," His fingers trace my cheek bones, "But I will be back, nothing could keep me away," He whispers, "Please understand you are my reason for living, because of you, I'm afraid to love another." His hand drops away from me and then he turns and disappears into the seam of the sunrise.

"Wait, Gale…" I whisper, even though I know he can't hear me. My eyes stare into the sun until I can't watch the burning ball of fire any longer. I expect longing, pain, and tears to all come at once, but I only feel numb. And only one tear comes, it rolls over the brim of my eye and rolls down my tanned cheek. It drops off my chin and I can hear it hit the ground. "Good-bye."

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><p>I poise in a tree and aim at the small rabbit that is eating a small carrot I left on the ground. I carefully pull back and let the arrow fly. It finds its target almost immediately. I jump down from the tree I have been sitting in for about ten minutes and stretch my legs out. I walk over to the rabbit and pick it up. The arrow is sticking straight out of its head. <em>Damn it!<em> I should have gotten the fucking beast through the eye!

I kick the dirt and grab the two squirrels I had shot earlier and begin the trek back home. Once I reach the fence, I snake through it and see a cart rolling towards town. I bite my lip and begin at a jog.

Once I reach the cart I see Thom is driving it. I smile and wave to him. "Hey Thom," I say casually, trying to look as though I am as healthy as the two lean horses pulling the large cart at a steady pace.

He smiles, "Hey, Katniss," His large hands lightly tug on the ropes that attach to the leather contraptions on the animals. They both stop and let out loud snorts, and paw at the ground impatiently.

I stroke the one closer to me on the shoulder, since I think that is all I can reach, and look at Thom; "These guys are beautiful," The horse lets out another loud snort and tosses his head, sending the hair on his neck flying. I have never seen a horse this close, but I know that the butcher used to sell horse meat. They have intelligent eyes and lean backs and legs. Their muscles ripple underneath their silky coats. They look to be at least seven-feet tall.

He laughs and leans forwards, stroking the other's rump, "Yup, a woman from Ten came with these guys and a few others, she said that they were way too big for her and asked if I had any use for them, I said I'd take them off her hands and put them to good use."

I smile and nod, "So what are we now? The horse district?" I ask, laughing.

Thom chuckles, "Yeah, I wish, these guys are really smart, and I really like the type of animal, maybe District Twelve should pick up a few more." He winks.

I smirk, "Yeah, we have millions of uses for horses, especially for meat." I pat the other horse's chest. They shake their heads, almost disapprovingly. I laugh, "Don't worry you two; I'd make sure you never got touched."

The two of them seem to accept this and drop their heads and begin to eat the sparse Meadow grass under their feet. Now I see that they seem to have feathers that surround their large, grey feet.

"Well, I gotta get back home," I ruffle the hair over the horses' eyes for a moment, then turn to go.

"You want a ride?" Thom asks.

_Yes please! I'll die!_ I want to scream, but I just say, "Sure, thanks so much Thom." I hop into the cart and sit down a few inches from him.

He flicks the ropes against the animals' backs and they immediately pick up to a fast jog. The cart jostles underneath us. The sound of their feet clopping against the stone road is almost soothing.

"What are those things?" I ask, curiously and point to the leather ropes around their heads. They seem to constrain the animals and there is a metal rod in both of their mouths.

"Their called harnesses and halters, these," He pulls up on the ropes, "are the reins," He explains patiently, "They keep me in partial control. But since these guys are a ton bigger than me, my control only goes so far." He smiles, "They are so sweet though, my daughter can run up to them and run between their legs and they don't even flinch. But sometimes when it's just me in the wagon, they take control, as if to show me they are always the bosses, no matter how many halters and reins I put on them."

I smile, "Well, if you ever need a horse-sitter, I'll happily oblige."

Thom laughs, "I'll keep that in mind, but if you do really like them, then you should go see the woman who gave them to me, you can actually ride smaller ones, I saw her doing it." He must really have developed a passion for these animals because his face is so animated as he talks about them, "She said she trained them for people in the Capitol. They used to race specific types of them, and they could go as fast as some cars for over two miles! Others jumped over fences taller than me! Some run through the woods and jumps, and others, like these guys," He flicks the reins, "Pull thousands of pounds, it is really incredible!"

I raise my eyebrows, "People actually ride these animals?" It seems impossible to me, to stay on them with just something on their heads.

"Yeah, but they have these leather things called saddles that go over their backs and keep you on." I nod, "They are fitted to each horse and have wood in them so they keep their shape, I might go over there tomorrow once business slows down so she can teach me," He is practically beaming, "You seem interested, want to join me? If you don't like, you can stop, but I hate doing stuff alone." He laughs, almost self-consciously, "I have always been afraid to do things if others don't do them before me."

I smile at him and laugh, "I'd love to, and I usually have nothing to do during the day while Peeta bakes, so it would be perfect." I look at the road ahead of us.

"Great!" He says, smiling, "I'll come and get you around eleven-o'clock, okay?" He pulls lightly against the horses harnesses and they slow down to a springy walk, "I need to bring Violet, though, because Marcy is helping open a new florist in town, so I'm in charge of her on Thursdays." He explains.

I nod, "I might have to take my friend's son with me, and too, hopefully we can just put them inside and keep them out of harm's way."

Thom just chuckles, "If your friend's son if anything like Violet, then they won't be safe in a dungeon."

I laugh and stand up as the cart comes to a stop in front of my house, "I'll see you tomorrow Thom, and thanks for the ride." I pat the horses good-bye and walk into the house.

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><p>"No! No way! No chance!" Peeta shouts.<p>

I had just told him about riding horses with Thom tomorrow. He obviously didn't think too highly of the idea. "You're not my father!" I shout right back at him, "And I'm not a child! I'm only four months younger than you!" My anger is over taking my better judgment, and I am losing my temper. "I am riding with Thom tomorrow, no matter what!"

His eyes are blazing, "No you are not! I won't let you!"

"And why not?" I scream at him, I can hear Finn bawling in the living room, but I am too angry to go to him yet.

"Because!" He shouts and steps closer to me.

"Because isn't a real answer! It's the answer people give when they have no real reason!" I shout and stand my ground.

"I have a reason!" His voice is more powerful than I have ever heard it. I am so used to his loving tone that this is almost stinging.

"Why then?" I shout and take a risk and take a half step toward him.

"Because! Just because!" He shouts and slams the chair he was previously sitting in into the wooden table.

"Tell me why! Before I leave!" There are much worse words about to spill out of my mouth, but I keep them in.

He grabs my upper arms and stares straight into my eyes; they are raging, "Because I can't lose you again!" He shouts even louder than he's been shouting the entire night, "Because I can't lose you again," He says, almost at a whisper.

I look up at him and shake my head, "Peeta, me riding a horse won't take me away from you." I whisper.

"Yes it will." He whispers, tears are forming in his eyes, "Beetee's plan wasn't supposed to take you away from me, and look where it got us." His voice is filled with emotion. "The horse will run away and you'll never come back." He drops his head and tears bounce off of the tiled floor.

"Peeta…" I whisper softly and hold him close to me, "I'd never leave you ever again, no matter what," I kiss his cheek, "Nothing could keep me from you."

"Just no, Katniss, no…" His voice trails off, "Don't do it, I won't let you."

I step away from him, enraged again, "Won't let me?" I hiss, "Alright Dad, the guest bedroom is the third one from the left." I spin on my heel, grab Finn and storm up the stairs.

"Katniss!" I hear him shout, but I ignore him, I slam the door shut behind us, causing the pictures to rattle on the walls, threatening to fall off.

I set a sobbing Finn on the bed and lean against my dresser. I take a deep breath and turn toward to crying toddler. "Come here little boy," I whisper, finally letting the tears out of my eyes. I don't sob, only silent tears roll down my face.

Finn stops for a second and reaches up to me. When I lift him into my arms, he places his small, chubby hands on my hands and pushes the tears off my face.

I smile and hold him close to me, "Want to hear a song?" I murmur softly to him.

"Yeh! Yeh!" He babbles and rests his tiny hands on my shoulders.

I sit down on the bed and pull him close to me.

_Hush-a-Bye  
>Don't You Cry<br>Go To Sleep My Little Baby  
>When You Wake You Shall Have<br>All The Pretty Little Ponies_

In Your Bed  
>Mamma Said<br>Babies Riding Off To Dream Land  
>One By One<br>They've Begun  
>Dance And Prance For Little Baby<p>

I stoke his small back and continue the soft song my father had once taught me. He had told me about tiny horses called ponies, and he sang this to me. A small tear rolls down Finn's back as I sing.

_Blacks and Bays  
>Dapples and Grays<br>Running In The Night  
>When You Wake<br>You Shall Have  
>All The Pretty Little Ponies<br>_

_Can't You See the Little Ponies  
>Dance before Your Eyes<br>All The Pretty Little Ponies  
>Will Be There When Your Arise<em>

I force myself to finish the song for him. Only for Finn.

_Can't You See the Little Ponies  
>Dance before Your Eyes<br>All The Pretty Little Ponies  
>Will Be There When Your Arise<em>

_Hush-a-Bye_  
><em>Don't You Cry<em>  
><em>Go To Sleep My Little Baby<em>  
><em>When You Wake<em>  
><em>You Shall Have<em>  
><em>All The Pretty Little Ponies<em>

The last line is barely audible.

_All the Pretty Little Ponies_

His small fingers curl around the sleeve of my shirt and he snuggles his head into my shoulder, letting out a small sigh.

I stroke his back for a few more moments, "Have fun in Dreamland Little Finn, and if you see your Dad, tell him I miss him." I murmur softly and lay down on the bed with him in my arms.

I rock him back and forth slowly, keeping a smooth rhythm. "Hush-a-bye…" I whisper occasionally. "Don't you cry…" I bow my head and look at his sleeping face, "Finnick, watch over him." I whisper.

As if in reply, there is a sudden soft smell of saltwater. I look around the room and smile. "I know you will…" I murmur and lean my head back against the headboard, and closing my eyes fall asleep. My dreamland is filled with black and bay, dapple and gray ponies jogging on their little legs in saltwater water that crashes against the sugar sand. I can almost hear Finnick's whisper _He is my son, and I will keep him safe from every single harm. I promise you that, Katniss._

* * *

><p><strong>Soooo? How was it my loves? I worked on it for quite a few days ;) And yes Finn's lullaby is 'All the Pretty Little Ponies' by Catharine Raney. Since I am going to be adding some things with Katniss and horses, I thought it fit. And yes, there will be equine involvement, I just thought Katniss deserved a little treat, so another thing is, Thom will be a bit more than just a side character. I need feedback guys! Love y'all!<strong>

**~Amber**


	6. Chapter 6

**-ahem-Hallu my lovely readers! Thanks for feedback! It is really helping! I am starting to really get into this FanFic ;) I hope y'all like it as much as your reviews are telling me lol. And I would just like to say that my main supporter from the beginning, ., your comments are not going unnoticed, I am quite grateful for it, actually, your positive love keeps me going ;) Anyway, without further ado, Chapter 6!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6-<strong>

* * *

><p>My fingers are tightly curled around my cup filled with coffee. "Hush-a-bye…" I murmur softly and then stand. Peeta had knocked on my door last night repeatedly, but I pretended to be asleep each time. When I woke up this morning and brought Finn down the stairs, Peeta was sitting at the table. Our eyes connected and all I saw was sadness, and I almost jumped into his arms and told him I loved him. But I didn't, because I am a stubborn bitch.<p>

I sighed and tossed the entire cup of coffee down the sink drain. The clock says it is ten-fifty. I have ten minutes to kill until Thom is supposed to be here to get me. I sigh and walk up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, a habit I have picked up since I returned to Twelve.

I bite my lip and walk into my room. _What do I wear to ride a horse?_ I think to myself. I have never ridden a bike, let alone a horse two times my size, ten times my weight, and a mind of its own. I tap my fingers on the dresser. I sigh and just grab an extra pair of hunting clothes.

I quickly get dressed and jog down the stairs. Peeta is standing at the door talking to Thom. I narrow my eyes and, grabbing Finn from off the couch, cut in-between them. "Hey Thom," I say, smiling.

"Hey, Katniss, you ready to go?" He asks, casting nervous glances at Peeta, who is glaring daggers at him.

I nod and turn my back to Peeta, "Definitely, and this is Finn…" My voice catches on his full name, "Finnick Odair Jr." As if in response, Finn buries his face into my chest. I laugh in an attempt to hide the tears that are gathering behind my eyes, "He likes Finn better though, don't ya little boy?" I ask and kiss the top of his head.

Thom smiles and steps out of my way to show his cart in front of the house, "Our ride awaits." He winks and ushers me out the door. "I'll have her back early, Peeta, don't worry, she is totally safe."

Peeta just lets out a huff and slams the door behind him.

I let out my own huff and step toward the big black horses, "You never told me their names." I say softly and stroke them both in the center of their foreheads.

Thom laughs, "So sorry for that," He winks and gets into the cart, "Daisy," He flicks the left rein and the horse shakes its head. "And this big guy is Mitt." He flicks the other half of reins and the horse closest to me stomps its foot and flicks its tail. "Daisy is obviously a mare, and Mitt is a stallion." He explains.

I nod slowly, knowing that a stallion is male and mare is female. Something stirs in my mind that tells me these things. I think once my father told me about it. I hop into the cart beside Thom and take one last look at the house. I just catch a glimpse of two blue eyes staring out the front window.

* * *

><p>"Katniss, you don't need to be afraid!" Thom says, laughing. He is grinning at me from on top of a mid-sized white mare.<p>

I grimace, "Give me a few minutes; I'll see if I can face that giant stallion again." The brown beast almost stepped on my foot. I had screamed and he pulled the ropes out of the wall that had been holding him in place so I could clean him up with all these fancy types of brushes.

Di, the woman who owns the horses, just laughs, "Sorry about Blaze, he just isn't really a beginner's horse," her tone isn't condescending, it is more kind, "But you chose him." She smiles.

I blush, "Yeah, maybe you could set me up on a beginner's horse." I mumble, not wanting to sound like I need it, more like I am doing it to be kind.

Di just laughs, "Sure, why don't we get you set up in cross-ties and you can groom Dapple, then we can try lunging her to get used to her gait."

I stare at her uncomprehendingly.

She lets out a soft breath and then explains again, "We'll up Dapple into ropes on the walls and then once you clean her up, you can tie a rope to her halter and send her in circles so you get used to the way she moves during the different speeds she uses."

I nod, "Alright, you could have just said that first," I grin and follow her into the stable area.

She pulls out a large grey mare with dark spots all over her. "This is Dapple," she hands me the lead rope and grabs a long leather rope, sets it in my hands and points to the grooming box, "Call me when you're ready."

I nod and hook Dapple up to the circular rings on the wall and grab the brush Di told me to use first on Blaze. I move closer to the horse, "Hey there," I say quietly. The mare's ears swivel toward me. I take another timid step toward the large animal. I barely place the brush on her back.

Dapple snorts and stomps her big hoof. I jump back to avoid being stepped on. "Come on, let's try being calm, this is my second time doing this," I whisper softly, trying not to startle her, "And my first time almost gave me a broken foot."

I lay the brush down on her shoulder again, and she doesn't move. I let out a relieved sigh and begin to slowly move the brush in slow, short lines.

Once I become used to the motion, I take longer strokes down her sides and back. I quickly grab the next brush and finish with a fancy looking rubber-type thing. I set all the brushes back into the box and lead the mare into the large circular arena.

Di smiles and walks up to us. I look over her shoulder and see Thom moving the white mare at a jog. Her skilled hands clip a long leather line onto Dapple's halter and clicks her tongue.

Dapple responds immediately and jogs away from Di. The mare lifts up her capable legs and she looks like she is floating on the air.

I gasp and watch her prance in a circle around us. Di just lets out a soft laugh, "She is a Spanish Purebred Horse, she was pretty much made to dance."

I nod, "What is a Purebred Spanish?" I feel stupid asking this, but if I really want to do this, I want to at least know a little bit.

Di flicks the leather and Dapple lets out a loud call and breaks into a slow run. "It is a breed of horse, it was created in Spain. Spain was a country from thousands of years ago. It was quite a beautiful place; there is also the Spanish language. I remember once my father told me that the people who live here that have naturally tan skin and have an accent like they do in District 6, they probably have Spanish ancestors."

I nod slowly, "Can I try?" I ask, pointing to the line. Di nods and hands the rope off to me. I hold onto it securely and watch Dapple run in circles. Her legs move smoothly and her tail flows out in a beautiful white fan behind her.

I watch her move around the ring until I hear screaming from the pen off to the side of the arena. I sigh and begin winding up the rope on my hand.

"Katniss!" Di gasps, "Don't do that, if she speeds up and runs off, she could drag you!"

I raise my eyebrows and quickly unwind the line off of my hand. "Ok, but can you hold her, I think Finn and Violet are in another tussle." I laugh and walk over to them.

Finn looks up at innocently, but he has is hand on top of Violet's head to propel himself upwards. "Finn!" I gasp, laughing. "You don't do that!" He immediately retracts his hand and falls to the ground with an _Oof!_

I laugh and kiss his head, "Be nice!" I say with a smile. I turn around and move back to Dapple. Di hands me the lead rope. I click my tongue to Dapple like I'd seen Di do before. She immediately extends her legs and moves into a flowing run. I gasp at her grace.

"Katniss!" I hear Thom call through the haze of my mind as I look at this amazing animal. "What?" I say, realizing Thom is off his horse.

"You ready to go?" He asks and looks at me, curiously. The mare that he was riding moments ago is being led out of the arena by a young man.

I blush at my lapse in attention and nod quickly. "Totally, let me just get her to come in." I smile at him as he nods and steps away.

"Ok, Katniss," Di begins, "Slowly make the lead line shorter so she is forced to move in smaller circles and then she has to slow down."

I nod and slowly loop the lead line around my head loosely, so I won't get dragged. Dapple lets out a loud snort and swivels her ears towards me. I take a deep breath and let it out, relieved. I take it in more and she spins on her hooves smoothly, adjusting to the smaller circles. I finally take it in enough so that she had to stop.

She lets out a snort and stops when she realizes that she can no longer move.

I laugh and hand her off to the man that has been waiting patiently for me to finish. "Thank you," I say, smiling. He just avoids my gaze and walks the horse out.

My confusion must show, because Di gently places her hand on my shoulder, "He's an Avox." She whispers softly and nods to the man.

I blush softly and nod, "Oh..." is all I say and then turn to Thom. "I'm ready now." I say and follow him out. Finn toddles next to me, stumbling every few steps. I chew on my lower and lip and slowly follow Thom and Violet. I know I can't go back to the house, so I decide to go see Haymitch. _Maybe this is a good idea, going to see him_.

* * *

><p>I sigh and open the door. I immediately realize it was a terrible idea. But I can't very well turn and leave, so I move into the house and grab a pitcher that is sitting on top of a pile of dirty clothes. I quickly set Finn down on the table and point at him, "Don't move!" I whisper and point to a sleeping Haymitch that is stretched across the couch in the next room.<p>

I turn on the cold water faucet and fill the pitcher up about half way and walk over to Haymitch. I set the pitcher down for a moment and pry the knife out of his cold fingers. I set it on the table and grab the pitcher. I take a deep breath and get ready to jump back. I tilt my hand and pour the entire pitcher over his head and jump back, landing next to the TV.

The response is immediate. He tears off the couch and waves his hand where his knife should be. "What the hell?" He shouts at me and raises his arms above his head.

"Hey," I say and smile slightly. I look around, "Has Sae stopped coming to clean this dump?" I ask casually.

Haymitch narrows his grey Seam eyes and nods, "I told her that her services were not needed," He snarls as he removes his dampens, soiled shirt. "Why are you here?" He hisses.

I shrug, "Decided to be nice to you for once and give you some company."

Haymitch lets out a laugh, sending liquor fumes right into my face, "More like you and the boy got into a fight," his eyes are cloudy, which added to his breath, means he's drunk.

I sigh, "Haymitch, shut up, you're drunk, don't…'

"Why don't you just call it quits? I mean you could always tell him to leave, he'd find some way to live for a few weeks before he shot himself."

Suddenly, the entire world recedes and I think of a world without Peeta. A world where his eyes never opened again, where his hands never held me, where his voice didn't call out my name, where his laugh never filled the silence. A life where Peeta ceased to exist.

I choke on a sob. My heart tears open and my fragile grip on my situation releases. I feel all the life bleed out of me. I step back and Haymitch must realize he messed up, because he opens his mouth.

I shake my head, grab Finn and run out of the house. My feet carry me into the house and I set Finn down on the couch. I take a deep breath and reassure myself Peeta is alive, and he'd never leave. "Peeta?" I shout and run into the kitchen. I tilt my head in confusion "Peeta?" I call out and then see the small sheet of paper flapping underneath a rock next to the open window. I pick it up and read it.

_Katniss,_

_Looking at you makes it harder  
>But I know that you'll find another<br>That doesn't always make you want to cry_

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in  
>Perfect couldn't keep this love alive<br>You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

_I just think we need a little time away from each other. We just can't work this out if we're in each other's faces. I am sorry I left so suddenly. Just know that I am safe, alright? We have to take a break and look at our feelings for each other. See if they're still the same. I just need some time, alright? I'm leaving at about four on a train to see a few people around the districts, different people that helped me. I'll be back in a few months. Good-bye Katniss._

_Yours Truly,_

_Peeta Mellark_

My fingers follow the familiar swoop of his cursive writing. I bite my lip as a tear rolls down my cheek and lands with a soft drip on the paper. I watch the paper bend under the tears weight and make the ink of his pen run down with it.

I suddenly look up at the clock. It clearly states three-forty-five. It takes about five minutes to run to the train station. I suddenly stand up and grab Finn. I tear out of the house and without thinking; I run through town and give him to Thom, who is still rolling slowly through town. "Please!" I plead. "Just stay here, I'll be back in ten minutes!" He just nods and opens his mouth, before I take off.

My long strides propel me towards the large station. I throw open the doors and tears are steaming down my face as I run through the crowds inside the station. "Peeta!" I scream and run towards the trains.

A blonde head turns my way and his clear blue eyes connect with mine. "Katniss!" He shouts.

When I reach him, I throw himself into his arms and bury my face into his chest. "Peeta!" I sob, "You left me!" I dig my fingers into his back and let the tears spill out of my eyes.

"Katniss," He whispers and sets his bags down, "Katniss," He repeats softly and strokes my back, "Calm down." He murmurs. "You'll be fine for the next few months; you need to be away from me." He says quietly.

I jerk away from him, "No! I need to be with you!" I half-shout. By the look on his face, I know he isn't coming back with me. Tear fill my eyes again, "I don't know why I even came," I choke out, "I can't believe I was so stupid to even believe you'd come back with me." I spin on my heel and run out of the station. I hear him shouting my name, but I keep running. Away from him. Away. Anywhere. I think of a place that comforted me. _The woods._ I run towards them and then stop short and back away from the fence. The only comfort there was Gale. And Gale is gone. I drove him away. I run back to town, grabbing Finn from Thom without word and walk into the house.

I sit on the couch and stare at the empty fireplace. Finn curls up in my arms and looks at my expectantly. I sigh and bite my lip to stop further tears.

"Sbing!" He says and looks at me again.

I take a deep breath, I can't refuse his request, so I begin softly.

_If I die young, bury me in satin  
>Lay me down on a, bed of roses<br>Sink me in the river, at dawn  
>Send me away with the words of a love song<em>

I let out a muffled sob and sing the song that I sing to my little sister's grave I have by the lake to this little boy. I let my voice carry me.

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother_  
><em>She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and<em>  
><em>Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no<em>  
><em>Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby<em>

I stand and walk into the kitchen with Finn in my arms and rock him softly, letting him bury his small face into my chest, just as I had done to Peeta only minutes ago.

_The sharp knife of a short life, well_  
><em>I've had, just enough time<em>

I choke on another sob and hold it in.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_  
><em>Lay me down on a, bed of roses<em>  
><em>Sink me in the river, at dawn<em>  
><em>Send me away with the words of a love song<em>

_The sharp knife of a short life, well_  
><em>I've had, just enough time<em>

I prepare myself for the next verse. I always cry on this one with Prim. I can almost always feel soft pressure on my back, as if it's her comforting me.

_And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom_  
><em>I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've<em>  
><em>Never known the lovin' of a man<em>  
><em>But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a<em>  
><em>Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,<em>  
><em>Who would have thought forever could be severed by<em>  
><em>The sharp knife of a short life, well,<em>  
><em>I've had, just enough time<em>

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls_  
><em>What I never did is done<em>

_A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar_  
><em>They're worth so much more after I'm a goner<em>  
><em>And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'<em>  
><em>Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'<em>

Finn lets out a quiet sigh, and as always, I know he is sleeping in my arms, but I keep rocking him, and finish the song that is slowly breaking my heart.

_If I die young, bury me in satin_  
><em>Lay me down on a, bed of roses<em>  
><em>Sink me in the river, at dawn<em>  
><em>Send me away with the words of a love song<em>

_The ballad of a dove_  
><em>Go with peace and love<em>  
><em>Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket<em>  
><em>Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh<em>

_The sharp knife of a short life, well_  
><em>I've had, just enough time<em>

The last line is barely audible as I sing it quietly.

_So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls_

I bite my lower lip and hold him close to me. "Sleep tight, baby." I whisper and stroke his head. I turn slowly and stare straight into his clear blue eyes. "Peeta!" I gasp and step back, only to find I am leaning against the cold marble counter.

"Katniss, you weren't stupid, I was, alright? I thought that… I thought you didn't love me anymore." I see his eyes cloud up with tears, "Just know that I thought I was doing the right thing."

Tears fill my own eyes again and I tighten my grip on Finn, "Peeta, Haymitch told me that if I really wanted to, I could tell you to leave, and you would, but he said you'd survive a few weeks, then shoot yourself. I thought what that would be like. You know what happened?" I choke through my tears, "I lost it, Peeta, I lost my grip on this entire damn situation entirely. You know why?" I ask, when he doesn't answer, I bite my lip, "I need you! You are the best fucking thing that ever happened to me! And then that note tore my heart out! I thought I'd die!" I take a deep breath and stare at him.

"Katniss…" He whispers softly and then walks over to me. His strong arms encircle me and he holds me close to him.

I bite my lip and bury my face into his chest. I breathe in his addictive smell. I almost forget Finn is sleeping between us.

He pulls away and looks straight into my eyes. There is something in his eyes that tells me everything will be alright. He slowly leans down and presses his lips against mine.

I tighten my grip on a sleep Finn and move my lips against his. And that is when it happens. I feel it happen. I feel that hunger that overcame me on the beach. It is the only thing that is in my mind. Nothing else is more important than satisfying it. I step a little closer to him, so that Finn is pressing against us both.

He slowly pulls away and looks at me. He leans his forehead against my own and whispers softly, "You love me. Real or not real?"

I stare into his clear blue eyes and the rest of the world disappears. I can only focus on his features, and his white teeth that barely show because his mouth is only open a little. I think of how I felt when I thought about if Peeta died. I think about how my heart was torn out of me when I read the note me left. I think about how whenever I look at him, I feel my heart skip a few beats. I think of the way that he makes me feel. I think of how even though we were torn apart, he came back to me. Peeta is mine and I am his. Nothing in this entire world could ever change that.

I feel Finn stir quietly in my arms. I open my mouth, and then whisper softly, "Real."

* * *

><p>I sigh and lean back against the cool rock next to the lake. The water laps gently against my bare feet. I cross my slender legs over each other and listen to the quiet sounds of the forest. The mockingjays sing in the trees. I whistle back and forth with them. I suddenly feel the pressure and warmth of his body against mine. I smile and open my eyes. I face him and kiss his forehead. "Hey," I whisper<p>

He smiles and grabs my hand. "Hey," he whispers and pulls our hands up to his face. He leans his warm cheek against them and kisses my hand.

I smile and close my eyes again. I let out Rue's four-note call and the mockingjays call it back to me. I laugh and press my forehead against Peeta's. "This is perfect." I whisper softly.

He smiles and pulls me into a sitting position. "Almost, something's missing." He whispers.

"What's missing?" I ask, playfully.

He bites his lip and then stands, and helps me up. He pulls out a small velvet box from his pocket and plays with it in his hands.

I stare at him confused, "What's that?" I ask.

He sinks down on his right knee and opens the box. A small diamond ring glimmers in the late afternoon sun.

I stare at the ring uncomprehendingly until I realize he has done this to me before. It was thousands of days ago and millions of miles from here. But he has done it. But it was forced, it was needed.

He takes my hand in his and stares into my eyes, "Katniss, I need you." He whispers softly, "You are wonderful, and amazing. I love the way that you focus when you think. I love the way you don't smile when you read. I love the way that you look at me. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you care for Finn. I love the way that you refuse to forget people. I Love the way you are so determined." He takes a deep breath, "I love the way your eyes sparkle when you get happy. I love the way you push me. I love the way I know you'd never forget me. I love the way you move. I love the way you sleep. I love the way you bite your bottom lip. I love the way you always go up the stairs two steps at a time. I love the way you refuse to peel a banana normally, you have to cut the top off and then peel it without the stem at the top. I love the way you only bite your thumb nail down. I love the way you braid your hair. I love the way and bury your face into my chest. I love the way you swim. I love the way you refuse to double-knot your shoe laces. I love the way you always take sugar cubes in your tea."

"Peeta…" I whisper quietly. I feel tears filling my eyes.

"No, Katniss let me finish." He whispers. When I nod, he kisses my hand, "I love the way you sing." I love the way you always focus to intensely on something that I have to wonder what you are thinking about. I love the way you make me jealous. I love the way you can make me smile without even thinking about it. I love the way that you cry. I love the way that when you sing, I can never hear you sing the last line of the song, but you always do. No matter what. I love the way you always sleep with your head on the right side of the sofa, never the left. I love the way that when you write, all of your R's are capitalized. I love the way that you always connect your E's to the letter before it. I love the way that you make me melt whenever you smile. I love the way you always sleep with your back facing towards the TV when you are on the couch. I love the way you have to sleep with two pillows instead of one. I love the way you hold my hand. I love the way that you always laugh loud, never giggle. I love the way that you can always make me laugh, even if you don't mean to. I love the way you made me fall head over heels for you, from the moment I saw you. I love the way you hug me. I love the way you hold me, like your life depended on it. I love the way you kiss me, like it is the last time you ever will. I love the way you are just you. And most of all," He looks at the tears rolling down my cheeks, "I love the way you make me love you, unconditionally." He whispers the last word.

I bite my lower lip, which just makes him smile and he holds the ring up a little higher, "Peeta, I…" my voice suddenly seems to fail me.

"Katniss Lillian Everdeen, would you give me the honor of becoming my wedded wife?" He asks, softly.

I open my mouth, but a choking noise comes out, No words. I take a moment to compose myself, and then tell him. "Yes, Peeta Mellark, I shall give you the honor. But it is not just your honor." I whisper and smile at him.

He smiles and pulls the ring out the box. He grabs my hand and slowly slides the ring onto my finger. "I love you." He whispers softly.

When he stands, I lean in quickly and kiss him. I kiss my fiancée. "I love you, too." I murmur back.

_Yes,_ I think to myself. _My fiancée, that is perfect. He is perfect. We are perfect._

* * *

><p><strong>EH?Eh? xD Anyway, y'all like it? I hope you did, I worked on this one a while too. I started it directly after I posted chapter 5 xD Thank you all again so much for you congratulations on my baby, and I have a small request for you all. My older sister is currently on a mission trip in Haiti. Please keep her safety there, and safe return in your prayers. And yes, Prim's Song is 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry. I absolutely adore the song and thought of Prim when I heard it on Wednesday night. Anyway! Thank y'all so much for the support! And don't forget to give me some feedback ;)<strong>

**With love,**

**Amber**


	7. Chapter 7

**Tallom my dears}) This be started on Preakness Stakes day!-runs around screaming-GO ASTROLOGY! Anyway-sits down-That means I am planted on my couch watching news coverage on HRTV and writing lol. Also, I am GOING to try this again…**I. WALK. THREW. WALLS** you are amazing! Thank you so much for sticking with me through the entire evolution of this story, you have stuck with me ;) Love ya babe! Anyway…I had to add the "Real" thing into the chapter to keep up with the whole book thing, like them growing back together and such and so forth…And plus that is an amazing line…Anyway! Without further comments you won't read…Chapter 7!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7~<strong>

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><p>"Peeta?" I whisper quietly and shake his side. "Peeta, what's wrong?" I stare at his face. His eyes are clamped shut and his fists are curled closed to the point where his knuckles are ghostly white. "Peeta!" I say in a regular voice, "Peeta, wake up, you're not funny." I feel tears filling my eyes, "Peeta, please, just wake up, you haven't done this in months, but please…" my voice trails off. I begin softly, quietly. I'll do anything to have him return to me. My voice is carried across the room, the wind from the open window swirling with it.<p>

_Where have you gone  
>It's been so long<br>Winter's turn in to spring  
>And your still not with me<br>So far away , sweet yesterday  
>Love came round but couldn't stay<em>

I take a deep breath and push the blonde hair out of his eyes. My fingers trance his jaw line carefully.

_Where have you gone_  
><em>Do you still care<em>  
><em>Rainy April regrets<em>  
><em>All this pain and sorrow<em>  
><em>Let me find, some other kind<em>

I bite my lower lip and hold in the tears.

_Some sweet love, that's right this time  
>Friends dear hearts all around me<br>But deep in my soul I'm cold as stone  
>Once true love found me<br>Now I'm so alone_

_Where have you gone_  
><em>Where are you now<em>  
><em>It's so hard to forget<em>  
><em>All those magic moments<em>  
><em>Still sing our song<em>  
><em>Still holding on to love<em>

The shine of sweat on his forehead is slowly evaporating and his fists are slowly loosening, but his eyes stay clamped shut. All I want is to see those eyes. Those amazing clear blue eyes. Afraid that I never will again, I sing louder and stroke his cheek.

_Where have you gone_  
><em>Friends dear hearts all around me<em>  
><em>But deep in my soul I'm cold as stone<em>  
><em>Once true love found me<em>  
><em>Now I'm so alone<em>

I allow the single tear that always finds its way out of my eyes to roll down my cheek and splash against the pillow.

_Where have you gone_  
><em>Where are you now<em>  
><em>It's so hard to forget<em>  
><em>All those magic moments<em>  
><em>I still sing our song<em>  
><em>Still holding on to love<em>

The last line is barely audible, like Peeta said it always is.

_Where have you gone?_

His eyes slowly open but they are hazy and unfocused. "What…what are you doing?" he whispers quietly as he tries to regain control of his mind.

I smile softly and push a single lock of hair out of his eyes. When he pulls back from my touch, I let out a shaky breath that is threatening to give way to tears. "I'm just waking you up." I say quietly, and then pull my hand away from his face.

He nods slowly and then looks at the clock, "Well, thank you..." He says, softly and then pushes the covers off of his and walks into the bathroom.

I let out a choked sob and then stand and grab my clothes. I walk into the guest bathroom and change. I brush my teeth and allow myself a moment to regain composure.

After a moment, I walk into the bedroom and set my night clothes into my dresser. I walk down the stairs and see Peeta cooking at the stove. He is flipping pancakes and talking on the phone.

"Yes, Annie, he is wonderful, he actually made a little friend with one of Katniss' friend's daughter." He pauses and laughs, "It's a little early for that, but they seem fond of each other, I guess." He switches the phone to his other hand and sets the pancake onto a plate.

I walk up behind him and clear my throat.

He turns and smiles at me, like nothing had just happened. "Yeah, here she is," He pauses and laughs, "Bye, Annie." He holds the phone out to me.

"Hello?" I say into the receiver.

"Hey, Katniss!" I hear Annie's voice on the other end.

I relax, "Hey, Annie!" I feel a smile spread across my face.

"How's Finn?" She asks immediately.

I laugh, "He's amazing, and I might just keep him." I say with a light tone.

Annie laughs, "You wish!"

"But really, he's great, like Peeta said; he made friends with Thom's daughter Violet. I really think the only reason he likes her is because she lets him use her as a hoisting point." I say with a laugh, "He loves it when I sing to him too, he always asks me to in his own baby-talking way." I grin.

Annie just laughs, "He is so funny when we talks, he always adds a w or b to everything he says." I can hear the pride in her voice, even for this small detail of her son.

I smile, "I gotta go, Annie, I'll talk to you later." I say and nod at Peeta who is pointing to the breakfast he laid across the table.

"Alright, bye, Katniss! I'll come and get Finn in a few days and thank you so much, again, for watching him."

I hear the line go dead, so I set the phone down. I sit down across from Peeta and smile at him, "Gosh, you work fast!" I say with a laugh. He made us each a pancake and poured us each a cup of coffee.

He laughs, "Yup, I call it the magic of having a stove." He winks and drowns his pancake in syrup.

I bite my lower lip and hold in a laugh, "Do you want to drown that poor pancake? Or get a sugar high or something along those lines?"

He chuckles, "Hey, I like my syrup, at least let me enjoy it."

I hold up my hands in surrender, "Alright, alright." It is strange that no more than twenty minutes ago, Peeta was scared of my touch and now we're joking around like always.

I grab the syrup and drizzle a little over my pancake and then eat. When I reach for my coffee, I bump the syrup over and it spills over the table. I groan and stand up to grab a dishcloth.

"Katniss," Peeta says.

"Hmm?" I ask and begin to wipe up the syrup. I blow a lock of my side bangs out of my hair.

"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to say your name." He says and tucks the hair behind my ear. "I never say your name until I have to; I just want to say it for no reason." He says, smiling.

I smile, "Ok." I toss the soaked rag into the sink and sit down across from him again. "Hey, Peeta?" I say.

"Yeah?" He looks up at me.

"When can we get married?" I whisper softly.

He grabs my hand and kisses it, "Whenever you want, Katniss."

I bite my lower lip and look into his eyes, "Let's do it soon, please, I want you to mine and no one else's." I whisper quietly and tighten my grip on his hand.

His blue eyes light up, "Really Katniss?"

I smile and nod, "Yes, Peeta."

He pulls me up, "Fine, let's be crazy, let's do it next tomorrow."

I raise my eyebrows, "Tomorrow? Seriously Peeta?"

He looks down for a moment, "You don't want to?" He whispers softly.

"No! No! Not that at all!" I say and squeeze his hand reassuringly, "Fine, let's do it tomorrow." I whisper and smile at his expression, "I want to invite people though." I say.

He nods and jumps up, "Definitely!"

I laugh and stand slowly, "I'll start calling people." I chuckle and grab the phone. I punch in my mother's work number and wait until she answers.

"Doctor Lillian Everdeen's office, how may I help you?" A cheery voice answers on the other end.

"I would like to speak to Dr. Everdeen please, tell her it is her daughter." I say and tap my fingers on the cool surface of the counter.

When she answers I get right to the point, "Mom, please come tomorrow." I say.

"Why?" She asks, surprised at my bluntness.

"I am getting married." I say in one breath, and then brace myself for her argument.

"I'll be there tonight." Is all she says before hanging up.

The list of people I call includes Annie, Delly, Johanna, Plutarch, Haymitch, Thom, Venia, Flavius, Octavia, Dr. Aurelius, Hazelle and the kids, Effie, Beetee, and finally I dial the number.

"Hello?" I hear his voice on the other end of the line. My heart lurches forwards.

"Gale…" my voice fails me, but I take a deep breath, "Gale, I need you to come to District Twelve." I say.

He pauses, "Why?"

"I am getting married." I breathe. _In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out._

He stops, "Alright, Katniss, I'll be there in the morning." He quickly hangs up.

I bite my lower lip and set the phone down. "Alright!" I call up the stairs. "It's set!"

* * *

><p>Today I am getting married. After today, I will never be Katniss Everdeen again. I will forever be Katniss Mellark. And the thought thrills, and terrifies me at the same time. <em>What if I'm a terrible wife? What if he changes his mind?<em>

I take a deep breath as the preps flutter around me fixing every aspect of my appearance for the occasion. "Chin up!" Venia trills. I obey and stand still for them.

"Perfect!" Octavia squeals and wipes a small tear from her eye. "You're beautiful Katniss." She whispers and pats my hand.

I smile and nod, "Thank you so much Octavia, all of you, really, it means a lot." I say quietly, fighting back tears.

Venia takes a deep breath and shoos the other two out of the room.

There is a small knock at the door and my mother walks in. "Katniss?" She says quietly.

"Yes mother?" I respond and push open the door wider.

She gasps and looks at me in the flowing orange dress that I wore on the Victory Tour. Her hand strokes the brown ringlets that fall over my shoulders and smiles, "You look beautiful." She murmurs and hugs me.

I bite my lower lip and smile, "Thank you, mother, it means a lot you came." I say. My voice is barely audible.

She strokes my hair and smiles with a tear trailing down her face, "Your father and sister are watching closely over you."

I bite my lip and nod, closing my eyes.

She grasps my hand and pulls me out of the room. She hands me a bouquet of dandelions and primroses. "Come on, you can't be late for your own wedding." She pats my shoulder and then points to Haymitch, who agreed to give me away.

"Ready sweetheart?" He says, softly and holds out his arm.

I nod and lace my arm through his. A soft tune begins in the living room and we step in. Everyone stands and looks at me.

I smile politely, but my eyes immediately go to Peeta. He is standing by the fire place. The corners of his mouth tilt upwards up until he is beaming at me. I keep my eyes connected with his. It is amusing really; that we can smile so much about one event after all that we have been through.

I release Haymitch's arm and stands next to Peeta. "Hi," I whisper as he gazes lovingly at me.

"Hi," He whispers back at me and holds out his hand. I lace my fingers between his and give it a reassuring squeeze.

I set my bouquet on the mantel above the fireplace and sit down on the ledge carefully. Peeta sits down beside me. "Technically, we're married, since we went to the Justice Building this morning, but you're never really married until you do the toasting." Peeta explains.

He tears half of the loaf of bread that sits next to him and hands the other half to me. He holds the bread out into the fire that is reaching its fingers of smoke up into the chimney. "Katniss, I have loved you since the day I say you and ever since, even though at times it didn't seem like it. And that will never change, no matter what." He pulls the softly toasted bread from the fire and hands it to me.

I smile at him and place the bread into my mouth. I slowly chew and let the warmth run through me. I hold the bread out and let it toast in the small fire. "Peeta, though at times I didn't show you, I have always loved you, from the moment you gave me the bread. Some part of me has. No matter how much I denied it." I say with a chuckle, but then look in his eyes lovingly, "You always found your way back to me, and I always found my way back to you. No matter what." I whisper and hand him the partially charred bread.

He smiles at me and places the bread into his mouth and swallows. He grasps my hand and at the same moment we both lean in and our lips meet.

The crowd stands and cheers. They descend to give their congratulations.

We keep our lips connected until I hear my mother over the rest of the crowd, "Katniss, I think you two can wait a little while longer." She scolds playfully.

I pull away immediately and both Peeta and I blush beet red.

Haymitch lets out a guffaw, "Why don't you get her knocked up for real this time lover boy?" He gets another good laugh from the shock and then embarrassment on Peeta's face.

We both smile and stand, our hands still connected. We accept congratulations from everyone. Some, like Beetee, Johanna, Effie, Plutarch and Dr. Aurelius need to leave right after the ceremony is over because of other duties, but the rest stay for some cake that Peeta made himself and some meat that I shot myself.

After small talk is exchanged, Thom leaves with the promise to Thom that after Peeta and I are finished with our sweet honeymoon time, I'd go riding with him.

Delly leaves tearful and hugs us both, "I am so happy for you two!" She wipes tears away from her face with a handkerchief and leaves.

The preps leave with hugs and tearful exchanges and promises to visit again.

All that leaves is Annie, Gale, Hazelle and the kids, and my mother, who is going to stay with Hazelle instead of Peeta and I for the night until her train arrives tomorrow afternoon.

"Well, thank you guys so much for helping clean up," Peeta says politely, but I know that he trying quite hard to not shove them out of the door.

Gale smiles at Peeta and holds out his hand, "Congratulations man, really, she is a great girl," He glances at me and sadness fills his gaze, "But," His stare grows cold, "If you ever hurt her, I will personally wring your neck."

Peeta looks at him evenly, "Don't worry about that Gale, I would never dream of hurting Katniss."

They hold each other's gaze until Hazelle cuts in and she laughs light-heartedly, "Now boys, don't do anything you'll regret." She pointedly stands between them.

Annie runs up to me and wraps her free arm around me, "Katniss, I am so happy for you two," She smiles and kisses Finn's head, "We'll be sure to visit." With that she leaves with a bawling Finn who is reaching out his chubby hands out to me and Peeta.

My mother wraps her arms around me and smiles at me with tears in her eyes, "Katniss, I am so proud of you," She murmurs and squeezes her hand, "Now you take care of him." She smiles.

Hazelle waves my mother over signaling that she is ready to leave. Gale and the other kids are waiting by the door.

My mother sighs and smiles at us both, "Now you two be good." She winks at us and Hazelle pulls her out the door and winks at us.

I chew on my lower lip, "Soo…" I kick the carpet under my feet and look at his face.

Peeta blushes and smiles, "So?" He half steps closer to me and looks at my face as if asking permission to go any closer.

I look at the face of the person who is now my partner. Who is now my greatest friend. And all my worries melt away. I raise my eyebrows and then lurch forwards.

Our lips crash together and we pull at each other. We stumble up the stairs, laughing like little children. We throw open the door to our bedroom and trip over to the bed.

We collapse in a tangle of arms and legs on the large bed. He quickly pushes me back so that my head catches the head board.

He gasps and pulls away immediately, "I am so sorry!" He blushes and begins to get off of me.

I grasp his wrists and stop him, "No," I say, "its fine, just don't stop." I hiss and pull him back down on top of me.

His eyes shine and he moves in and kisses me.

When I pull away from our kiss, I quickly reassure him I don't want to stop. I quickly pull the orange dress over my head and close in on him.

Our lips move together and I move my fingers deftly down the buttons of his shirt and begin unclasping them slowly. I push the shirt off of his shoulders and let my fingers dance along his fire burnt chest and abdomen.

When I play with the waistband of his pants, he groans and pushes his hips against his touch. I smile and unbutton the pants quickly and toss them aside. Much smoother than our first time.

After a few moments of kissing, Peeta unclasps the strapless bra I have on and drops it on the floor. He moves his fingers up my torso and lets his palms rest on their side of my chest.

I groan as he takes his lips off of my own and slowly starts kissing from below my jaw line. His lips are warm as they move slowly down my neck.

I tangle my slender fingers into his blonde hair as he lets his tongue slide through his lips and flicks over my sensitive skin. I let out another pleasure-filled moan escape my lips.

When his lips reach my breasts, he glances up at me for a split second. He must see my wanting expression because he starts to kiss around the tender flesh.

"Peeta!" I moan as he sucks on the center of my breast. I let my head fall back onto the pillow and my eyes roll back into my head.

I feel his hands move down my body and then tug at the band on my thin underwear. I quickly toss them off and proceed to remove his boxers.

He lets out a sigh of relief when his groin is released from the pressure of the fabric. He places his hands firmly on my hips.

I lean upwards for a kiss and then move my hands from his chest down to right above his groin. I let my fingers deftly move lower and lower. Let my fingers graze his member ever so lightly. It evokes a groan from his mouth. He leans his forehead against my own.

Our breath mingles together as we breathe heavily.

Peeta's hands slowly slide from my chest down until they are pressing against the insides of my legs. His fingers hover above my entrance for a moment, and then he slowly puts one finger into me.

I let out a hybrid of a moan and gasp.

He must take it that I am hurting, so he begins to withdrawal his finger.

I quickly grasp his hand. "No," is all I can get out. My voice is extremely husky. I barely recognize it.

He chuckles softly and kisses me while sliding another finger into me.

I realize my hands are still between his legs and I slowly tighten my grip on his member. The reaction is immediate and satisfactory. He groans loudly and his erection grows harder in my hands.

He slowly removes his fingers from inside of me and I release his hardened member. His erection pressed heavily against my heat.

I bite my lower lip and look up at him. He raises his eyebrows as if to ask if he is allowed. I nod and pull him in for a kiss.

He slowly allows his tip to enter me.

I gasp in pain.

He immediately looks up at me. "Katniss, we can just stop if you want." He whispers lovingly and runs his fingers through my hair.

I shake my head, "No," I whisper softly, "The first few times always hurt the most, just get it over with." I murmur and begin kissing him.

He complies and slowly enters me again. I moan loudly against his lips and feel my heat clamp down on him.

He groans and buries his head into the crook of my neck.

The pain slowly gives way into a great sensation of pleasure. I groan as he thrusts into me harder and faster. I gasp as he thrusts into me. I feel every muscle in my body tighten for a split second. We both groan loudly as we climax together.

We both collapse next to each other. My entire body is covered in sweat and my hair is tangled from Peeta's fingers pulling into it. I move closer to him and burrow my face into his neck.

"Katniss?" I hear him whisper in the haziness of sleep.

"Hmm?" I mumble and trace the lines of his patchwork of skin and toned muscles unintentionally.

"I love you." He whispers quietly into my ear.

"I…I…love yo…" my voice trails off as the fingers of sleep pull me under.

* * *

><p><strong>Hmmm, how'd you guys like it? I think it was alright, but I started getting bored of the plot in this one xD I know it is super short compared to my last two, but long compared to the first 4 xD Peeta's Song is 'Where Have You Gone?' By Barry Manilow. I didn't even know the song. I just searched up that phrase on Google with lyrics and prayed there was a good song XD I know the sex scene was kind short, but like I said I was getting bored. I know exactly what's gonna happen in the next chapter though}) so it'll be pretty long I think. But since I wrote this in two days, it is pretty good. And I'll probably not post another chapter till Saturday or Sunday. Oh yeah, and in case you were wondering Astrology came in third :P So I am kinda disappointed. I made a point of calling my friend who rode him and made him give me a good explanation as to WHY he lost. Anyway. I hope you guys liked the whole wedding thing. I made sure to NOT have Gale bring a date, because it was just like way too soon for him to have hooked up with someone. You know? So ya know, yeah. I hope ya liked it and I'll be sure to update soon ;)<strong>

**~Amber**


	8. Chapter 8

**God I feel so bad that I haven't been updating xD But my college courses end on Wednesday and I am officially out of school, so BAM I'll be writing the ENTIRE summer xD Anyway, I am having a terrible allergy season, so I am just sitting in my dining room with a fan pointed at my face and a water bottle next to me. Lucky you guys, I bet it isn't 110 degrees where you are -.- Anyway! Without further Ado, CHAPTER 8!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

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><p>Sweat beads roll down my forehead as I move Dapple around Di in a large circle.<p>

Dapple's legs stretch out before her in even beats underneath me.

_Up, Down, Up, Down._ I repeat to myself in my head. I move slowly in the supple leather saddle in rhythm to Dapple's gait. My hands have a tight grip on the reins and I keep my legs planted firmly against the mare's grey sides.

"You're doing great, Katniss!" Di encourages. "Once you think you're up for it, you can just trot over these poles."

I look over at her, alarmed. "Are you sure?"

Di just chuckles, "Katniss, you're doing wonderful; all she'll do is step over them. She won't be flying over twelve foot jumps." She smiles encouragingly.

I bite my lower lip and nod slowly, "Alright, as long as you're sure that I am ready." I pull the reins and Dapple turns towards the poles.

"Just countdown strides in your head if you want so that you know when it's coming." She explains.

"Alright." I feel Dapple tug slightly on the bit, so I let her extend her stride a fraction. _Five. Four. Three. Two. One._ Dapple's strides easily cover the ground between each pole. Her gleaming hooves strike the ground in a subtle rhythm. _Thud. Thump. Thud. Thump. _

Once her back legs pass over the final pole, I break into a smile and tap my heels against her sides. She smoothly transitions into a loping canter.

I hear a series of loud claps from the fence. "Yeah, Katniss!" I hear Peeta half-shout.

I glance over and smile at Thom and him. Thom had twisted his ankle the week before and cannot ride for another few weeks, but loves coming to watch me ride. I smile lovingly at Peeta and laugh when Di shoots him a look that easily says '_Shut up or you're out.'_

Dapple snorts and shakes her mane.

I laugh and pull back on the reins. She slows into a lazy walk. I pat her neck and launch off of the saddle, landing smoothly. I pat Dapple and hand her reins off to the man who Di told me was an Avox on my first day of riding. I nod my thanks. I walk over to Peeta and Thom in an even stride, trying not to jump over since I am so happy I did well.

Peeta practically beams at me and holds out his hand, grasping mine.

I blush, "It wasn't that amazing."

Peeta squeezes my h and, "Yeah, you two are perfect for each other, I'm so happy I came to watch you. "

I smile and lean over the fence, "I'm so happy that you came, too." I unlatch the gate and walk through it and wrap my arms around Peeta. "So, what does that happiness translate into?" I whisper seductively. I tilt my head so that my lips are almost in contact with his.

Peeta presses his lips against mine and curls his fingers around the fabric that is resting against my back.

"Oh God!" protests Thom. "Get a room or something!"

I pull away from Peeta and start laughing. I punch Thom playfully and wave a good-bye to Di.

She smiles quickly, but then re-enters the conversation she is having on her phone.

"Well," Peeta says as he settles for sliding his arm protectively around my slender waist, "We should be getting home, I left some stuff in the oven for a few hours and I really don't think Katniss wants to house to burn down." He playfully winks.

I grin, "Nope, burning houses wouldn't be good." I wave a good-bye to Thom and walk through the stable aisles with Peeta next to me, my head on his shoulder, his hand still on my hip, protecting me from every danger.

* * *

><p>I slam my head against the tiled table. "It is so hot!" I stretch my fingers on the cool table-top. "It has to be over a hundred degrees." I say, "No doubt."<p>

Peeta is standing in front of the open window and slicing tomatoes for dinner, "Complaining won't solve anything." He glances over his shoulder at me and smiles. "But you do look quite entertaining in that position."

I scowl at him and he laughs. "I'm going to go take a freezing cold shower." I snap and stand up.

He turns and gives me a devious smile, "I might join you in a little while."

I laugh, "I'll slap you if you do."

He raises his eyebrows, "Would you now?" He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist. "Because I think," he whispers softly, "You'd actually enjoy me company because you want me so bad."

I stare up into his clear blue eyes and bite my lower lip. I carefully place my hand on the side of his face and run my capable fingers through his blonde hair. "You," I whisper, "wish." I say in my normal tone and free myself from his grasp.

He stands there, stunned that his attempt at seducing me didn't work.

I glance at him over my shoulder, "But you're welcome to try and see if you're right a little later." I wink and walk up the stairs.

* * *

><p>I stretch myself out above the cool, satin bed sheets. The heat is practically radiating off of my body. I ditched my clothes about an hour and a half ago and Peeta broke down and took his off about a half an hour ago. The sweat from us both is soaking the sheets. "I am going to kill myself!" I stretch out so that no part of my body is touching another and not touching Peeta.<p>

Peeta is gritting his teeth, in the same position as me. "Same."

"This heat wave has been going on for over two weeks, is it ever going to end?" I groan. I stand and slide a pair of underwear on and one of Peeta's oversized t-shirts over top.

Peeta stands and puts on a pair of boxers and a pair of shorts. "Probably not," He says, grimly. "these things can go on for the entire summer."

As if on cue, a tell tale rumble of thunder sounds in the distance.

"No way." I breathe. I grab Peeta's hand and pull him down the stairs and out the door. The sky is filled with dark grey clouds and there is a strong breeze blowing through the Victor's Village. There is another deep rumble of thunder. In the distance, a strike of lightning lights up the skies of District 12.

Peeta grasps my hand just as the skies tear open and the rain pours down on us.

I gasp as the rain runs its cold fingers down my back and chest, soaking me through. I glance at Peeta for a slit second, then release his hand and take off, running through the Village circle.

I close my eyes, bounding and twirling through the perfectly paved circle. I hear Peeta laughing, but I barely register it. All I am aware of is the amazing sensation of the steady stream of rain falling all around me. There is an enormous clap of thunder that shakes me to the bone. Suddenly, an explosion of lightning lights up the sky as if we were outside in daylight. Every detail is able to be made out everywhere for a split second, and then it goes dark again. As if nothing had happened.

I run to where I know Peeta will be standing. He grabs me and kisses me.

I don't register the next clap of thunder, or blast of lightning. The only feeling I have is that of the pressure of Peeta's lips pressed against my own. I am barely aware that my arms are wrapped around his neck, resting against his wet skin.

We both jump when there is another explosion of lightning, accompanied by an eruption of thunder.

"Let's get inside!" I shout over the pounding of the rain.

In response, he pulls me inside the door and shuts it quickly behind us to prevent any more rain from touching the already soaked Welcome mat. We both slide onto the floor and lean against the door.

Once I catch my breath from running, I jump on top of him and grab either side of his face. "Remember what you said earlier? About me wanting you?" I whisper in his ear.

"Yeah," he says, breathless.

"You were so right." I hiss in his ear and begin kissing down his jaw line. I feel him grasp my sides and dig his thumbs into my abdomen. I straddle him with my lean legs and move my hands to his hips.

"Katniss," he moans.

I feel myself smiling. I am pleasing him. I am making him feel this way. And he would never let anyone else do this to him. Only me. I look into his clear blue eyes and kiss him.

In that fleeting moment, I make up for all of those cold, lonely nights in 13 and the Capitol. I kiss him with all the passion I can muster and let myself go.

* * *

><p>"Ugg!" I groan as the brownie batter splatters me in the face for the fiftieth time. "Peeta! I cannot do this!" I throw the wooden spoon down into the bowl full of brown goop.<p>

"Katniss," says Peeta, obviously trying not to laugh, "Just don't fling the spoon up like that and you might not get hit so much." He carefully wipes the brownie mix off of my cheek and kisses my forehead.

I sigh, getting ever impatient with this new venture. This morning, Peeta awoke with some huge resolve to teach me how to bake brownies. "But you told me I had to fold the batter over itself from the sides!" I huff, doing to motion with my hands.

"Yes, but you don't need to fling the batter all over the room." He explains patiently.

I sigh and pick up the spoon, "Alright, one more try." I say. I slowly move the spoon around the glass bowl. I carefully mix all of the ingredients into a deep brown mush. I slowly begin to stir harder until Peeta says to stop.

"Good job!" He says smiling. "Now pour the batter into the pan." He says, gesturing to the metal pan lying on the top of the stove.

I nod and take a step over to the oven with the bowl gripped firmly in my hands. I carefully step over a sleeping Buttercup. Once I reach the stove, I slowly pour the mixture into the metallic pan.

After Peeta scrapes every last bit of the batter from the bottom of the bowl, he slides the pan into the stove and shuts it carefully. When he turns to me, he is smiling, "Wow, we got through your first baking lesson without using the fire extinguisher. Though it did take us about five and a half hours," He winks, "In my opinion that is a success."

I bite my lower lip and walk up to him, snaking my arms around his neck, "Well, we have an hour to kill." I whisper, "What to do?"

Peeta pauses for a second, but then quickly snakes his own arms around me, lifting me up onto the kitchen table.

"Really?" I whisper, "On the table?"

He chuckles softly in my ear, "I can't help it, you really get me going." He murmurs.

I bite my lower lip and then kiss him. I slide my hands from his neck down to his waist and try to push his jeans off of him.

"Woah, slow down there, sweetheart." He whispers softly. "Maybe taking this into our bedroom might be smart."

I sigh, impatient, "Fine," I remove myself from his grasp and gracefully glide up the stairs. I tap my foot impatiently as I wait by the door of our bedroom.

Within seconds, Peeta runs up the stairs, throws open the door and pushes me inside. His strong hands pin me against the wall as he kisses me passionately.

I pull him as close to me as he can get and dig my fingers into his ashen blonde hair. I easily hoist myself up and wrap my lean legs around his waist. I feel his erection pressing against the inside of my thigh, but pretend not to notice.

After a moment, I push him back a small margin and pull him over to the bed. I pull off my t-shirt and toss it behind me, not caring where it lands.

He fumbles with the buttons on his jeans until I need to do it for him. He stands and allows me to push them below his hips.

I bite my lower lip and then without hesitation, I push my own loose shorts down over my patchwork-skinned hips.

When my hands extend to remove his boxers, his own stop them and pushes me back onto the bed. "Wait, I want to do something different today." He whispers in my ear, his hot breath lacing around the right side of my head.

I nod and retract my hands.

He quickly pushes my underwear down to below my knees and he grips either side of my stomach. He leans against me, allowing me to lie down across the cool, satin sheets.

I let my eyes flutter closed for a moment and relax.

That is when I feel his mouth against my stomach.

I practically jump off the bed because I have never felt his mouth against anywhere below my breasts.

Instead, I let out a small jerk and a moan escapes my lips. I feel him let out a breathy laugh against my skin.

His lips move lower and lower on my body. His smooth fingers trail along behind him, leaving a tingling sensation where they pass.

My fingers curl tightly around the sheets underneath my bare body. I feel myself anticipating where his lips will end up.

He pauses for a moment right above my center and then he begins to kiss every inch of flesh between my legs. He flicks his tongue carefully inside and out of his mouth occasionally.

I gasp in pleasure each time his mouth connects with my heat. Eventually, he realizes what make me gasp the most or groan the loudest.

His hands trace the faint outlines of the scars from my new skin. He slowly becomes more confident. His tongue slides into me, more so rather than not and his hands are casually resting on the insides of my thighs now.

Suddenly, there is a loud knock that we can easily hear from our bedroom.

Peeta suddenly jump off of the bed, away from me, as if Haymitch walked in on us again.

I sit straight up, eyes widened in alarm. "Who could that be?" I hiss, standing up and pulling my underwear up to its regular resting place.

"I have no idea!" he whispers harshly.

I quickly grab my black silk robe that I threw across the dresser earlier that morning and put it on. I tie it tightly around my waist and motion to him, "Put some clothes on!" I hiss and leave the room. I walk brusquely down the stairs and into the den. I take a deep breath and pull open the door.

Her eyes lock on me instantly. The corners of her thin lips tilt into a smirk. Her spiky hair sticks out in all directions and her skin has been deeply tanned since the last time I saw her, which says something because I only saw her about three weeks ago. She lets herself in and steps into the house. "Hey brainless." She grins at my reaction to her.

I blink a few times and then step back, "Hey Johanna, weren't you just here?" I ask.

She chuckles, "You bet I was! But I got a little lonely, so I decided to come and see you guys for the day."

I hear Peeta walking down the stairs, and turn.

He is buttoning up his shirt and strides over to me.

Johanna smirks again. "I didn't interrupt anything did I?" she asks, sarcastically.

"No!" I say a little too loud.

At the same time, Peeta says, "Well…"

"Peeta!" I hiss under my breath.

Johanna chuckles, "Don't worry, I don't mind if I did." She winks and holds up a bag. "I have beer."

* * *

><p>An hour and forty-five minutes and eight beers later, Peeta is drunk. Very drunk. I can barely understand what he is saying and his breath smells like Haymitch. Which is quite the statement.<p>

He leans against me heavily and breaths straight into my face. "Katniss, really, have some fun, let loose!" Which sounds more like "Kanisssss, rillly havsme fuun, leluse!"

"Peeta," I hiss, "get off of me, you're drunk beyond belief!" I push him back into his own seat at the island and move over to the next stool.

He pauses for a second as if it is taking all of his mental abilities to formulate simple words. "Wellll," He drags out the 'l' in 'well' much longer than he should, "I ammm pri'y see-ure," I can tell that he is trying to pronounce each syllable that he is saying, "Lasss nigh', ya coul'n get 'nough a'…a'…me!" He says this very triumphantly.

I narrow my eyes, "Peeta, shut up!" I snarl, my nails digging into my thighs.

"Heyyy! I don' min' bein' marr'ed to a…a…" he pauses, as if trying to think of the correct word. As I wait, I have a feeling in my chest building up that he is going to say something awful. "whore!" He grins and then guzzles the beer in his hand.

Yup, I was right. For some reason, these words sting me. Hard. I feel tears burning my eyes and stand.

Johanna glances between Peeta and me and then stands, "Well, I'm just going to retire to my bedroom for the night…"

"Really? I'm a whore now am I? Bastard!" I choke out and slap him in the face as hard as I can.

He looks up at me, bewildered, but I don't stay for his complete reaction. I run up the stairs to our bedroom and lock the door behind me so that he cannot enter.

I run over to our bed and collapse. I allow a single tear to slide through my eyes and slowly drop onto the pillow with a _Drrrop_ sound. I gasp and swallow the tears in my throat. _No, _I tell myself_ I will not cry._

But even though I try to use all of my will power, that night, my pillow is soaked through.

* * *

><p>I tug on the reins and turn Dapple off at an angle, crossing to the single jump off to the side of the arena. The pole is set to the lowest notch and isn't too crazy. Di watched me go over it a few times and said I could do it alone as long as I didn't try to raise the pole any higher than it already was.<p>

_Five. Four. Three. Two. One._ I lean forward in the saddle slightly and squeeze my legs against Dapple's side. I push the reins up along her neck slightly and then pull back slightly as we land.

Dapple tugs against the bit, so I allow her some room and she extends into a fast trot. I sigh and think of what else to do instead of going back home. I will do anything to avoid going home.

I steer Dapple around and point her toward the window at the end of the arena. My fingers tighten around the soft leather of the reins and I flick them. The reaction is immediate as she extends into a flowing canter. Her strides eat up the ground.

As we approach the wall, I shift my leg position and she turns to the left, away from the wall. I shift my legs and fingers and she switches her leading leg. I feel the transition for a split second, as if we are flying.

When her hooves strike the ground, I take on an uncharacteristic absorption and lean forwards in the saddle. I want to try something different. Something crazy, that I think just might work. I pull the reins back and Dapple stops immediately.

I hop of off her back and tug her over to the small jump. I study it for a moment and then tie the reins to the side railing. I pull the pole off of the holders and set it off to the side. I set the notches up to the second highest setting and then plop the pole on top.

I nod at my work, untie Dapple's reins and re-mount. I take a deep breath and tap her sides with my heels. I allow her to lengthen her stride.

Dapple easily transitions into a jumping gait, fast, but not too fast, leaving me to make all of the decisions.

I angle her to the jump and begin counting down in my head. _Five._ If this doesn't work right, I am dead. _Four._ What if Dapple isn't a good jumper? _Three. _If this is going to end badly, Dapple could die. _Two. _Too late. _One_. I squeeze my legs against her gleaming sides, run my hands up her neck, and stand slightly in the saddle.

She launches off of the ground at the perfect time and for a moment, it feels as if we are both suspended in mid-air. And I love it.

All too soon, her front hooves hit the ground perfectly and she thunders down the arena.

"Yes!" I shout and stand in the stirrups.

Dapple startles and flies into a flighted gallop.

I gasp and pull back against the reins. Hard.

When Dapple stops on a dime, I slam into the saddle and fly forwards into her neck, getting a face full of grey mane.

Dapple begins to tremble and I stroke her neck. "Shh, calm down baby." I whisper and pat her neck carefully.

The sound of his cough reaches my ears before anything else. "Katniss?" asks Peeta. "What are you doing here so early?"

I turn to him. I know my eyes are blazing sheer ice. "I am here because I want to be." I say icily.

The harshness of the statement resisters on his face as shock. I can see he is hung-over because his hair is disheveled and he is still wearing what he was wearing last night. "What's wrong?" he asks in a hoarse voice.

"Why are you talking a whore? Huh, Peeta?" I snarl. I don't care if he was drunk or not, he should have at least known where the line was drawn.

My words sink in. I know they have because the shock on his face turns into sheer disbelief. "Katniss…" he begins in a scratchy voice.

"Save it!" I half-shout and heel Dapple into a gallop.

"Katniss!" He tries again. "Please…" his voice tapirs off.

I glare at him with all the ice in my heart and turn Dapple to the wall where Peeta is standing with his hands in his pockets. I bite my lower lip and allow her to pick up to a dangerous speed. I easily have enough control of her to know she won't hit him.

But he doesn't know that. The terror registers on his face just as I thunder by him as bone-breaking speeds. I feel the sweat building up underneath my helmet and there is slight foam forming underneath Dapple's pink saddle pad.

I breathe heavily through my nose and turn Dapple sharply towards the huge jump.

As we approach the jump, I feel Dapple beginning to hesitate. Her hooves begin to dig further into the ground. She begins to pull her head back, slightly.

Just as I feel the pressure building in her hindquarters, part of me knows I am not making to over that jump. Part of me knows I probably might not make it through this hour. But I keep going. I push her on. I need this. I hear Peeta shouting for me to stop, to pull up. But I ignore him. What he said to me drives me to this.

Right when Dapple reaches the five-stride point before the jump, she hesitates too much and I heel her straight into her stomach.

That tore it. She stops dead on her powerful hind legs, lifting her forelegs up, and sending me flying over her head and straight into the air.

The final things I remember are sailing through the air, Peeta screaming, my body smashing through the wooden pole, a sharp breaking sensation that sends a jolt through my entire body. And then, darkness.

* * *

><p><strong>HAHA! Bam, cliff-hanger. I know I know. You all now hate me XD But I had to do it rofl. HAD TO. I had terrible writer's block after Peeta called Katniss a whore and decided something crazy was in order. But, anyway, Congratulations to Ruler on Ice, the reigning Belmont Stakes winner, it was a crazy end to a crazy Triple Crown Run. Love y'all! I'll update way sooner now!<strong>

**Love,**

**Amber**


	9. Chapter 9

**So, I am slightly disappointed that I seriously have 400 views in one night, and yet, only a few people commented…I am still human guys; I need feedback like anyone else. All I am getting is a few reviews on the day I post them and then utter silence. Just please? A little help would be nice ;) Anyway, there's really nothing more to say, so, CHAPTER 9!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9<strong>

* * *

><p>I slowly swim into semi-consciousness. The first thing I am aware of is his voice. So desperate and pleading. It calls to me in my mute land of blackness. His pleas to wake up echo through the black void of my mind. At first, the make no sense, as if my mind cannot decipher what they mean, but then, I begin to understand his words.<p>

"Katniss, please, I need you." Says Peeta desperately. "I didn't mean it," he whispers, "I was so stupid; please Katniss, just wake up. Just please, wake up…" He whispers.

I feel the pressure of my hand enveloped in his own and his warm tears fall silently down my cool skin. I stir slightly at the sound of his voice. I try to reach him. But the second I move, my spine protests. I let out a soft moan.

"Katniss?" He half-shouts. "Katniss, it's me, it's Peeta! Quick! She's waking up!" He shouts again.

My eyes flutter open. I have to blink slowly to make sense of the blurry picture above me. Peeta is kneeling over my body and Di is standing a few feet away, looking at me with a terrified expression on her face, with Dapple into her hand, who is prancing in place. "What happened?" I ask in a gravelly voice.

Peeta squeezes my hand and wipes his tears away with the other. "You fell pretty hard when Dapple stopped." He murmurs softly and starts trying to calm his breathing.

I try to sit up, but my back immediately lets out a chorus of complaints. "I can't sit up on my own." I mumble, hating that I can't do something this simple for myself.

Peeta immediately springs into action. He carefully slides one of his arms behind my neck and the other underneath my knees. He easily lifts my light body and walks me to the door. "I am calling Dr. Belstin." He looks back at Di, "I'll call you later and tell you anything if it's serious."

"Alright," Di says and begins to follow us out of the arena, "But if you don't call by five, I am coming over to see her." She quickly departs going the other way with an antsy Dapple in tow.

I sigh and wrap both of my arms around his neck, knowing that protest will do nothing. I bury my face into Peeta's strong chest and take a deep breath, knowing I will find the smell of spices and bread. But I don't, I smell the pungent odor of beer. I jerk my head away from him.

He stops and looks down at me, "What?" He asks, confused.

I blink back tears at the memory of the night before, "Your shirt smells like beer." I whisper. I don't know if it a head injury, or for some strange underlying mental condition, but I feel tears burning my eyes. "Your fucking shirt smells like beer!" I say again, louder.

Peeta's eyebrows shoot up in alarm. "My shirt?" He asks, confused.

"Yes, your damn shirt!" I say in a shrill voice.

Peeta sets me down on a nearby bench carefully and peels off the shirt. He holds it up. "Better?" He asks and ties it around his waist.

I sniffle and nods, "Better." I whisper and hold my arms out to him.

He smiles at me lovingly and hoists me gently into his strong arms.

I bite my lower lip and bury my face into his bare chest. "Peeta? I whisper softly.

"Hmm?" He responds as he pushes open the door to our house and sets me down carefully on the sofa.

"You don't really think I'm a whore do you?" I murmur quietly. I lean my head back against the soft, downy pillows.

"No, Katniss! I was so stupid to say that last night." He kneels down next to me, enveloping my cool hands in both of his warm ones. "You are not a whore; you could never be a whore." He whispers softly and kisses my hand.

"Swear?" I whisper.

"Swear." He murmurs and presses his lips gently to mine.

I sigh softly against his lips and wrap my free arm around his neck.

He lets out a soft noise from the back of his throat and leans over top of me. He places one his on the side of the couch and the other balances on the edge, threatening to fall off with his weight pressed down on it.

I precariously hang around his neck and have my hands locked together behind his head. When we come up for air, I try to push his shirt off of his body.

He quickly attempts to take it off, but once he lifts his hand, he loses any balance he had and topples over the side of the couch, bringing me down with him.

I hear the sickening sound of my back cracking and I groan.

"Katniss!" Peeta gasps and stands up. "Are you alright?" He asks and carefully lays me back across the sofa.

I bite the inside of my cheek and say slowly, "Let's not do that again."

He laughs and stands up. "I'm going to go call Dr. Belstin. Don't go anywhere." He smiles and walks into the kitchen.

After a moment, I hear him talking so I set my sights on the TV remote. I stretch out my hand, but my fingers just grave the end of it. I chew on my lower lips and reach out a little further. The move only causes the remote to be pushed further away.

I let out an exasperated sigh and reach out again. When my fingers just run over the plastic, I scoot over the sofa cushions. Accidentally, I shift all of my weight to the right and set myself off balance. I make a terrible try at regaining my balance, but know it is useless. Within second I am face down on the floor.

I pause for a second and then take a deep breath, "Peeta!" I scream.

I hear his footsteps and then his laughter.

I lift up my head and scowl at him, "If you laugh one more time, I am going to shoot and bury you." I blow my hair out of my face and wait for help.

He grins and lifts me up, "Do you want the TV on?" He asks after he sets me down.

I shake my head and bury my face into the soft pillow next to my head. I feel his fingers running through my hair, so I turn my eyes toward him. "Hey, Peeta?" I murmur.

"Yeah?" He whispers back and sits cross-legged next to me.

"Can you sing me a song?" I whisper softly.

He pauses for a second, "A song?" He asks.

I nod slowly and grasp one of his hands in mine.

"Alright…" He whispers and takes a deep breath.

_We were as one babe  
>For a moment in time<br>And it seemed everlasting  
>That you would always be mine<em>

I tighten my grip on his hand andbite my lower lip.

_Now you want to be free_

He stops and takes another deep breath.

_So I'm letting you fly  
>'Cause I know in my heart babe<br>Our love will never die, no_

He glances at my face for a split second, as if to see if I want him to go on. After a moment, he continues in his soft voice. 

_You'll always be a part of me_  
><em>I'm a part of you indefinitely<em>  
><em>Girl don't you know you can't escape me<em>

He traces small designs on the back of my hand. His strong, capable fingers linger on my now healing fire-mutt skin. _  
>Darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby<em>

_And we'll linger on and on_  
><em>Time can't erase a feeling this strong<em>  
><em>No way you're never gonna shake me<em>  
><em>darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby<em>

_I ain't gonna cry no_  
><em>And I won't beg you to stay<em>  
><em>If you're determined to leave girl<em>  
><em>I will not stand in your way<em>

I feel myself having to keep my eyes open. His voice is so soft and smooth…

_But inevitably you'll be back again_  
><em>'Cause you know in your heart babe<em>  
><em>Our love will never end, no<em>

_When your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh_

I take a small yawn and allow my grip on his hand to lighten. _  
>You'll be right back, baby<br>Well, baby believe me it's only a matter of time_

_You'll always be a part of me_  
><em>And I'm part of you indefinitely<em>  
><em>Girl don't you know you can't escape me<em>

I finally allow my eyes to flutter closed and just as sleep pulls me under and my hand releases his, depending on him to keep them held together.

_Darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby._

* * *

><p>"Alright, Katniss," Dr. Belstin says, "The pain should subside in a few days, but until it does, you need to take it easy and don't do anything that could injure you anymore." He smiles and turns away from Peeta and I who are sitting side by side on the patient table.<p>

I nod, "Alright, but walking is same now, right?" I rub my thumb back and forth across Peeta's hand.

"Yes, but try not to run or anything like that, the stress from the bouncing might cause your back some damage." He explains and sets his clipboard down on the counter. He grabs a small notepad with 'prescriptions' written in bold on the opening flap.

"Anything else?" Peeta asks. "We don't want any more damage done than already is."

Dr. Belstin writes down a prescription in his scratchy writing and looks up, "Don't try to have sex, it will put pressure on her back if she's lying on her back and you know…" his voice trails off and he looks up at us, a playful glint in his eye.

Peeta blushes beet red, and I immediately feel the blood rush to my face. "Ok, if that is all." I say brusquely.

The doctor just smiles and holds out the prescription sheet "Go get that filled and follow the instructions on the bottle." He stands and exits to room.

"Alright, ready?" asks Peeta.

I nod and proceed to cautiously slide off the table top. When my feet lay flat on the tiled floor, I take a careful step forward. I take a deep breath and try to walk at a normal pace.

"Katniss are you okay?" Peeta asks.

Part of me knows that the question was harmless and meant to be sure of my well-being. But the other part of me hates that he thinks he needs to hover over me endlessly as if I can't live on my own. "Yes, Peeta! I am perfectly fine, especially since I can't walk like a human being and my head feels like someone is smashing a hammer into it." My tone was harsher than I meant for it to be and the affect is immediate.

He pauses for a beat, but then the hurt shows on his face.

I bite my lower lip and wrap my arms slowly around him. "I'm sorry, Peeta." I whisper softly. "I really am. I don't know why I am so moody."

He sighs and strokes my hair, "It's alright, Katniss. You're under a lot of stress with your back and I shouldn't be wounded so easily." He leans down and places a light kiss on my lips.

I nod slowly and tug him carefully out of the doctor's office. As the afternoon sun hits our faces I silently think, _hopefully these headaches will get better._

* * *

><p>But they don't. Not that day, or the next, or the next. Even after my back is healed a few weeks later, they are still there. And getting worse if that is even possible. I finally have to start taking medication.<p>

A few days after I do start taking the medication, I am standing in the stable aisle, waiting for Di to assign me a new horse to ride. She said that Dapple is more of a beginner's horse, one to help the rider gain confidence.

I tried to say that she cleared a four foot jump, but she didn't listen and insisted I get to know a new horse. When I finally accepted, she was running around the stable, trying to find me the perfect horse.

"Katniss," I hear Di call out, sending a small chestnut mare next to me to pull her head into her stall, "Come down here, I think I found you the perfect horse!"

I walk slowly down the aisle, careful not to disrupt anything in my back. I was in a living hell while my back was healing. I was very irritable, but Peeta did everything perfectly.

I see Di leaning against a stall door a few yards down the aisle.

She waves me over and points into the stall.

When I come to a stop next to her and peer into the stall, I gasp at the animal that is before me.

"Like him?" Di asks, smiling.

I nod, stunned and look at the huge, coal black animal that stands before me. There is not a single patch of white on this creature. It looks as if it was dipped in a shining black paint and pulled out. He flares his pink nostrils and reaches out his muzzle towards me.

I hold out my hand and feel his lips tickle the palm of my hand. I smile and stroke between his brown, almond shaped eyes.

This horse has to be at least 17 hands high at the shoulder. (_Author's Note: _That translates to about five and a half feet.) With his majestic head up, his ears almost touch the ceiling.

"What's his name?" I whisper and run my fingers down his sleek, black neck.

"Stargazer," Di explains and pats his neck, which with his head straight up, as it is now, is about all that she can reach. "He is a pure Thoroughbred. He descends from racehorses in the Capitol."

I nod slowly and scratch his neck, "Is he my new riding horse?" I ask in awe.

Di chuckles and nods, "You bet, but you'll need to be extra careful with him, alright?" She asks.

I nod, "Definitely!"

"I trust you with him because I know you'll be able to keep control but won't do anything stupid." She explains.

I nod. She must not know that I galloped Dapple across the arena at top speeds just because I was pissed at my husband.

When she hands me a black halter and lead line, I smile. "Is there a pattern here?" I ask.

She grins, "It is kind of an obsession." She confesses. "I have everything black for him, from his saddle to his fly mask."

I laugh, "Of course you do." I grasp onto Star's lead line and tug him out into the aisle. Di leaves us with a smile.

When his blackened hooves strike the concrete floor, the _clip-clop_ echoes around the barn, mingling with the sounds of other horses.

Once he is in cross ties and I have his black (ha-ha) grooming kit in my hands, I stand at his side. "Alright." I breathe, "Let's do this."

Forty-five minutes later with a gleaming Star underneath me, I am on his sleek, lean back, trotting around Di in circles.

"Good, Katniss!" She calls out, "Try doing a lead change."

I nod and shift the position of the reins in my hands.

Star pauses for a beat and then stretches out his right foreleg, leading his left leg.

I smile and pull back on the reins, "He is just a dream!" I pat his gleaming neck and he lets out a snort, lowering his head. I look down at Di and chew on my lip, "Di, could you set up a jump course for me and Star?" I ask.

Di pauses for a moment; "Katniss, I don't know…" her voice trails off.

"Please Di!" I beg, "I'll be careful and Star has an easy stride, anyway, my back has been healed for a week now! Peeta wouldn't have let me come if he wasn't sure I was perfectly fine!"

She takes a deep breath and looks up at me. She must be thinking, because she stares at me for a few minutes. 'Oh, fine!" She finally gives in.

"Yes!" I trot Star past her and over to the side of the arena. I stretch in the saddle while Di and a few workers set up about twelve jumps, set far enough apart and are low heights.

"Di!" I call out. "Make 'em higher! I jumped one with Dapple that was on a really high notch! We cleared it perfectly!"

Di pauses and then shakes her head, "Fine, but only to the mid way point, anything higher is pretty stressful on your back."

I sigh, "Fine! But please, just higher than that!"

When she nods to me after all the jumps are set, I nudge Star forwards, giving him enough rein to trot. "Alright, Star," I whisper to him.

He swivels one of his black ears towards me.

"We can do this." I murmur and trot him around the course, allowing us both to see the jumps. When I am ready, I allow Star to extend into a smooth, flowing canter. Once I get used to the steady beat of his hooves, I point him towards the first jump.

_Five. _I count in my head. _Four. Three. Two. One. _I squeeze my legs firmly against Star's sleek sides, running my hands up him lean, powerful neck and stand slightly in the saddle.

Star takes off into the air, but just as he is landing; his back hooves knock the top pole off the jump and into the arena dirt.

At first I consider this a fluke until I reach the next jump and he does the same thing. And the same thing at the next. Finally, as we approach the fourth jump, Star finally digs his heels into the ground and skids to a stop before the jump.

I sigh and pull him up, "Di, it's alright, he just doesn't love doing it."

Di chuckles, "Yeah, he's just three and I guess he's really more into running."

I pat his neck and look at her, "Running?"

She nods, "Yeah, since, like I told you, that is what he was bred to do."

I nod slowly, "Do..." I pause, "Do you think we could race him?"

Di looks up at me, eyebrows raised, "Katniss, you really want to train a Thoroughbred racehorse?" She asks.

I nod, "I would so do that!"

Di takes a deep breath, "There are only tracks in the Capitol, Katniss, and even if they allow you to leave District 12, that would mean that you would have to go there…" her voice trails off.

I pause, back to the place of nightmares, back to the place that tried to ruin me. I take a deep breath, "Maybe having some…other memories associated with the place might help. Good ones."

Di sighs, "We'll need to work with him every day, get him the real stuff for racing and most important we'll need a jockey."

I nod, "We can do it."

"You'll need to be fully committed." She says.

I nod, "I will, I swear!"

Di studies Star's intelligent face, "He has a good stride." She states, "His legs look to be pretty developed." She walks around the behind us, but stays far back so if he kicks out, she won't get hit. "His hindquarters are pretty built…" She walks around to my side and takes a deep breath. "Alright, fine! We'll train him."

"Yes!" I lean down and half hug Di. "Is there anywhere that we can see how fast he runs?" I half-beg.

Di sighs, "There is a pasture out back that is about a mile is diameter, if the ground is dry, try running him over that."

I nod and dismount, leading him through the door to the back. When the sun touches his black coat, he seems to be gleaming in the light.

When he leans his black head down to eat the grass on the sides of the cobblestone path, I laugh and tug on the reins, "Come on, boy, we're gonna see how you run."

His large ears perk up at the word 'run' and he picks up to a trot.

"Woah! Woah!" I say, laughing.

Once he slows down, I see the pasture that Di was talking about. It is beyond a pond that sits directly in front of us. I tug him up onto the stone bridge that crosses the pond and into the large enclosed area.

I lean down and run my fingers into the dirt. It is perfectly dry. I smile and grasp Star's saddle, hoisting myself up. Once I settle into the supple leather, I squeeze my legs against Star's sides and push him into a trot.

"Get him going in a canter, and then send him straight into a gallop!" Di instructs as she walks over the bridge.

I nod, "Alright!" I call out.

"Oh, and once he goes top speed, crouch over his neck!" She explains and bends over, as if to demonstrate.

I nod and flick the reins, allowing him to move in a smooth, extended canter. "Come on, boy." I whisper to him and crouch down over his neck, "Show her what you can do." He snorts, as if in reply and once I squeeze my strong legs against his sides, he rockets straight into a gallop, sending me back for a split second.

He rockets down the paddock, eating up the ground with his huge, graceful strides.

I hold on for dear life as he thunders towards the white fence.

"Turn!" I hear Di scream over Star's pounding hooves, "Turn, Katniss!"

I pull the reins to the side and push him to the left with my legs, urging him to turn away from the fence that could kill us both.

When his powerful legs begin to shift, start shouting, "Turn, Star!" I yell, "Turn!"

Star turns on a dime and spins almost 360 degrees. He thunders back up the pasture towards Di. He stretches out his neck and when I pull back on the reins, I need to lean all the way back in my saddle to get him to slow to a spirited trot. He prances in place and arches his sleek neck.

I gasp and stop him.

When Di grasps his reins, she looks me straight in the eyes, "I think we just might have something special."

* * *

><p>I carefully slice carrots for mine and Peeta's dinner while I talk to Annie on the phone.<p>

"Yeah, one of my friends was really disappointed when she called me earlier." She explains.

I nod, and then remember she can't see me "Why?" I ask only half paying attention.

"She thought she was pregnant," She says, "She had all of the symptoms."

I hear her scold Finn for a moment, but then she continues, 'She had back pain, headaches, was really hungry all the time, she even missed her period." She says.

I stop dead when she says these things, 'Wait, I'm sorry, I missed that, what were her symptoms?" I ask.

"Headaches" Check, "Cravings," Check, "Back pain," Check, "And she missed her period for a little while." Mine was a little late…

"Katniss?" Annie asks after I pause for a little long.

"Annie, I gotta go." I say in a shaking voice, "I'll…I'll call you back later."

"Ok…" her voice trails off, "You better."

"Bye." I say and hang up the phone.

I quickly dial Dr. Belstin.

"Doctor Belstin's office, how may I help you?" A woman's voice says.

"Please connect me to Dr. Belstin." I say quickly.

"Please hold." She says. I hear the line click.

After a brief pause, I hear the Doctor's voice, "Hello?" He says.

"Hello, Dr. Belstin, I have a question." I say immediately.

"Alright, shoot." He says.

"Well," I begin and brush the carrots off the cutting board and into the bowl, "Let's say hypothetically, a woman finds out the symptoms of pregnancy, totally hypothetical, what would you recommend she do if she didn't want to go into the doctor's office." I say

There is a pause at the other end of the line and then he speaks, "As a doctor, I would probably recommend that this hypothetical woman goes to the store and buys a home pregnancy test, and then she should come into the doctor's office if it is positive" He explains patiently.

I take a deep breath, "Alright, thank you for the hypothetical advice." I quickly hang up.

Twenty minutes later, I am pacing around the bedroom, staring into the bathroom, waiting for the three minutes to pass since I took the pregnancy test.

_Maybe I am just being paranoid._ I think to myself. My period has come late before. It just depends on the month.

_It will totally be negative._ I slowly repeat this to myself and it actually begins to work its way into my brain.

_No, Peeta and I have only had sex a few…_ I stop the thought. _No, we actually have had it a few more times…more so than not…_

But no! It is impossible, this is just craziness. I think. Craziness. Peeta and I are not going to be parents. We aren't even in our twenties. Nature wouldn't allow that to happen. _Would it?_ I think. _No!_ I almost shout in my head. _Totally impossible. _Totally…

I stare into the white tiled room and take a tentative step in. When I see the stick sitting on the counter, I immediately jump back into the bedroom.

"Go in there, Katniss." I order myself.

I take a small step forwards. "Come on, Katniss." I say again, pushing myself forwards.

My feet move into the bathroom and grip the test's box, reading the key. A minus sign means negative and an addition sign means positive. Easy enough.

I clamp my eyes shut and reach my hand across the cool countertop. When my fingers close around the stick, I pull it up to me.

"Ok Katniss," I whisper, "Open your eyes and look that subtraction sign."

I take a deep breath and open my eyes open a crack. I can't make out the sign, so I open my grey eyes entirely.

But I was wrong. Staring me right in the face is an undeniable pink addition sign.

* * *

><p><strong>Ok, I am fully aware that in the books it is clearly stated that Katniss doesn't get pregnant for like 15 years, but I couldn't wait that long. It was like sitting there in my brain. Just begging to be written down. So, yeah, I am probably betting I will lose readers for this, but I am just hoping I won't. Well, we all knew this FanFic wasn't going like Collins intended it once I incorporated horses and even horse racing into it, soooo yeah, I hope y'all understand why I had to do this. It was just sitting in my head, waiting. And just to warn, I don't want any comments on how it was stupid that I made Katniss pregnant. I am the author and I decide what happens to the characters, if you don't like it then by all means, please stop reading. I just want you all to understand that I really believe I can make this Fic go far, so if you stick with me, it is greatly appreciated. But, if I haven't said it earilier in this long rambling Author's Note, I understand if you don't. I went against the epilogue and deserve to probably die in a ditch to some hard core fans. I just believe this is the right direction for my story. Thank you all for supporting me and I gave you all what you wanted ;) A quicky update. <strong>

**~Amber**__


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey Readers! Thank you all SOOOO much for the support with the decision to make Katniss pregnant! I love the support and it truly warm my ice cold heart XDDD We have reached double-digit chapters and half way to one hundred reviews! Keep the feedback coming and I'll keep the chapters coming! Oh, and if any of you need a movie recommendation, 'The Proposal' has to be the funniest movie I have ever seen xD Actually, it is pretty good }) I adore it, even though it came out a while ago. I also love 'Definitely, Maybe'. I really just love Ryan Reynolds XD Friggin sexiest piece of man I have ever seen…ANYWAY! And one last thing, I legitimately did not realize I was being that annoying with the whole horse thing XDDD I really thought I was slowing down with that, I am going to now definitely like probably come close to ceasing with that now that Katniss is pregnant though. Gosh, sorry guys lol, I am an equestrian by trade and I guess I didn't really realize it was that bad XD ANWAY! Without further ramblings-CHAPTER 10!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

* * *

><p><em>No. No. No. No. No. <em>This is impossible, there is no way. No. Way.

I am running down the stairs before I know what I am doing. My feet carry me across the Victor's Village and to the road to town where I know Peeta is looking at newly built buildings to open a bakery.

"No! No! No! No! No!" I am saying as I run, the small stick still gripping the small test in my hand, as if it was my life line.

Once I reach the town square, I look around the clean buildings, searching for him through the pristine windows. When my search fails, I start screaming for him, "Peeta!" I shout. "Peeta!"

I hear a bell tinkle behind me and I spin on my heel to see Peeta emerging from a small building with a large man behind him.

I run to him, throwing my arms around him and burying my face into his shirt.

"Katniss," He soothes and runs his hand up and down my back, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" He whispers.

I pull my face off of him and glance awkwardly at the man behind Peeta.

The man must understand this as his cue to leave because he steps away and nods to Peeta, "I'll give you the quote later Peeta."

Peeta nods and shakes the man's hand, "Thank you Kieran, I'll call you if I can."

The man nods and walks away, taking long strides, as if he can't get away from us fast enough.

Peeta quickly turns his attention to me and helps me sit on the step in front of the building. "Katniss, what is wrong?" He asks, obviously concerned.

I take a deep breath and contain my tears, and then hold the small stick out to Peeta.

He takes it in his hand and glances at it, "What is it?" He asks, obviously confused.

"Peeta," I whisper, "It is a pregnancy test."

This causes his head to shoot up, "What?"

I swallow and nod, "It is a pregnancy test, Peeta." I whisper.

He stares at the test for a second, "What…what does it say?" He asks, softly.

I take another breath and look into his eyes, "Peeta," I murmur, barely audible, "It is positive."

In that one statement, his face drains of all color. "Katniss, you're not funny, seriously, what does it say?"

I feel the tears burning the backs of my eyes, "Peeta," I say, my voice full of emotion, "I am pregnant."

* * *

><p>Peeta had to Dr. Belstin's before I could even protest.<p>

While I sit on the patient table, Peeta paces back and forth until the doctor returns.

"Peeta," I say in an even tone. When he doesn't stop, if anything, he picks up the pace, I snap, "Peeta!" I half-shout.

He jumps and looks at me, "What's wrong?" He rushes to my side.

"Just, stop pacing." I say through gritted teeth.

He nods feverishly and sits down in a chair against the wall. He immediately begins tapping his foot against the blue tiles on the floor and drumming his fingers against the arm rest.

"Peeta!" I snap.

His head shoots up and he nods, "Right, sorry, quiet." He clasps his fingers together and locks his ankles against each other.

I take a deep breath and lean back, resting my head against the wall. Without realizing it, my hands go to my stomach and my fingers rub the surface of my shirt.

When I look across to Peeta, he is smiling, "You are amazing." He whispers softly.

I smile and lean my head against the wall again, closing my eyes, "I know, I know…" I say, the humor in my voice is apparent.

When I hear him laughing, I smile and open my eyes, "But don't worry," I whisper, "So are you."

He stands up and wraps his strong around my shoulders.

I bury my face into him chest, like I always do, and let out a content sigh. "This is perfect." I whisper, softly.

"Mhm." He says.

I hear the door open and Peeta removes his arms from me, but quickly grasps my hand and sits down next to me.

I squeeze his hand and lean forwards, "Well?" I ask, directing the word to Dr. Belstin.

He looks up from his clipboard and smiles, "Well, Katniss, you are indeed pregnant, no denying it, nope. About three and a half months to be precise." He laughs and holds out his hand to Peeta, who shakes it, stunned, "Congratulations, Mellarks." He smiles, "Any questions?" He asks.

I shake my head, slowly and then looks to Peeta who is staring at the floor, still in a stunned silence.

"No, for both of us," I say, "But thank you Dr. Belstin." I smile as he leaves the room. I immediately turn to Peeta and shake his arm, "Peeta," I say, "Peeta, snap out of it!" I clap my hands in front of his pale face.

He jumps and looks up at me, "Katniss," he whispers. He reaches out his hand and sets it on my stomach, stretching out his fingers to cover my entire abdomen.

I smile and place my hand over his, putting my fingers perfectly between his and lean my forehead against his. "Peeta," I murmur, "Our baby is in here."

He breathes deeply through his nose, "Yup, he is." He says, quietly.

I look up at him, "He?" I say, mock-pissed, "This he could be a she." I say, indignantly.

Peeta laughs, "You're right, could be a she." He stands and helps me off the cool surface. "Now, c'mon, I'm making sure this is the safest pregnancy any woman has ever had." He squeezes my hand.

I smile, "At least I have that reassurance." I murmur and lean against him.

* * *

><p>I drum my fingers impatiently against the table top, waiting. "Peeta, can we go yet?" I ask, exasperated.<p>

"Not yet!" He says and then emerges with a light jacket. He wraps it tenderly around my shoulders and kisses my cheek. "Alright," He says. "We can go now."

I scowl and walk into the den, "Come on, Baker boy, if you don't get there Kieran will happily sell the shop to someone else." I snap, pushing the front door open.

Peeta laughs and keeps up with my pace, his long strides easily move over the ground, each being double my own stride. "Don't get too snippy Mrs. Mellark." He says, playfully and nudges me with his hip.

I huff and look out at the trees that are losing their leaves, and the remaining ones are different shades of orange, yellow, red, and brown. When I reach out to catch a falling leaf, the realization hits me full on. In five and a half months, I will have a child. I will be responsible for another human life. This rocks me to my core and it terrifies me. No use denying it.

I gasp and Peeta immediately looks at me, "Katniss, what's wrong?" He demands.

I shake my head, "Nothing, I swear." I say quickly. "Swear." I repeat.

He nods carefully and grabs my hand, whispering in my ear, "Just in case."

* * *

><p>I stare up at the ceiling, lying on my back in bed. "Peeta, have you ever had just the most random craving for something, until it almost overcame you?" I ask.<p>

Peeta chuckles and turns towards me, "Nope, I can honestly say that I haven't." He strokes my hair carefully and scoots closer to me.

I sigh and turn onto my side, "Well, I have them all the time now." I say.

He smiles, "I guess that is a good sign, most women who are pregnant get crazy cravings," he says, "So you're normal." He places his hand over mine, which has barely left my stomach since last week when we found out.

I sigh, "We both know I am anything but normal." I say. "Anyway, I have the most random craving. It is for rice and chicken," I say, almost tasting the chicken he made a few days earlier.

He laughs, "Do you really want it that badly?" He asks.

I shrug, "It kinda makes it hard to focus on anything else." I say and rest my head against the soft pillows.

Peeta throws the sheets over my body and pats my stomach one last time, "Well, then, I am off to go make some rice and chicken." He says and walks to the door.

"Peeta!" I say, surprised, "You don't really need to make me food!" I sit up and look at him through the moonlight shining through the windows. "Anyway, it can't be more than three in the morning!"

Peeta smiles, "Hey, it's my job to please you and our baby, so I am off to the kitchen to make you some rice and chicken!"

I cross my legs and sit up in the bed, laughing, "Oh, so now you'll do anything for me."

"Almost," He winks and disappears down the hall. I hear his footsteps move through the hall and down the stairs.

I drift off until I hear Peeta saying my name and the scent of chicken wafting through my nose. I sit straight up and come face to face with Peeta holding a steaming plate of rice and chicken. I smile, "Oh, Peeta, thank you so much!" I grab the plate from him and put a fork-full in my mouth. The tastes flood my tongue and sigh contently.

Peeta laughs and sits down next to me, "I take it that you don't mind eating that?" He smiles, playfully and wipes some rice off of my face with a napkin I didn't realize he had.

I smile and take another bite of the chicken, leaning back against the head board. "So, is this going to be your life now?" I ask.

"Is what going to be my life now?" asks Peeta, his eyes now closed.

"Waiting on me hand and foot and making sure that nothing happens to me."

"Yeah, probably, at least for the next five and a half months and then I'll add our child into that mix." He says, smiling.

I laugh, softly, "Well, at least I know you'll always be there for me," I pause, "Then again, I've always know you'd be there for me." I murmur softly, and then press my lips against his, softly.

After a few moments, he pulls his lips off of mine.

"What?" I ask, stunned he stopped.

"We are not having sex over rice and chicken." He says deviously.

I mock-gasp. "What? Do you really think I am that obsessed with having sex with you?" I playfully scold him and then kiss him passionately.

When I pull away, he moans, "Nope," he says, "Not a chance."

* * *

><p>A few hours later, while Peeta is twirling my hair in his fingers, I feel it. The rush of food coming straight up my throat. I gasp and launch off the bed and into the bathroom.<p>

I just make it to the toilet when any food I had in my stomach exits my body through my mouth and into the porcelain bowl.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta call out.

I start to say I am all right when anything else in my stomach comes up my throat and out of my body. I gag on the foul taste in my mouth.

I hear his footsteps approach the bathroom just as I throw up a third time. I cough up anything else and let out slow, shaking breaths.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta say, walking up behind me.

"Hmm?" Is all that I can get out. I feel the pressure of his hands on my back and he rubs his hand up and down.

I let out a shallow, shaking breath and half stand, only to throw my head back into the toilet, releasing any remaining nutrition in my body.

"Katniss?" Peeta murmurs, massaging my shoulders.

I cough and take a few deep, quaking breaths and push upwards on my trembling arms. "Just don't ask if I'm ok." I say. The violent throwing up has left my body feeble and shaking.

"Oh, well I was going to ask you if this was going to happen every day or not. Because this wasn't too pretty." He says, a smile playing on his lips.

I take another deep breath, slowly regaining my composure, "I'll warn you the night before." I whisper and stand, still wobbling and rinse my mouth off in the sink.

He walks up behind me and, pushing my long, dark hair to the opposite shoulder, begins kissing down my neck, slowly.

I lean against the cool bathroom counter and let out my first normal breath.

He wraps his strong arms around my slender waist.

I place my hands over his and close my eyes.

This was actually quite the romantic moment. Might have even led up to sex. Had I not slapped my hand over my mouth and jumped over to the toilet, throwing up pure bile because there was nothing left in my stomach.

I gasp, clutching the toilet.

"Katniss, do you need anything?" Peeta asks immediately.

I shake my head and turn to look at him, "I just screwed a perfectly romantic moment." I whisper, softly.

Peeta chuckles and helps me stand, walking over to the sink. "Don't worry, there'll be plenty more." He murmurs, rubbing between my shoulders. "Plenty more."

* * *

><p>As the weeks pass by slowly, my stomach bulges out more and my terrible morning sickness is a thing of the past, but my mood swings are in full swing.<p>

"Peeta!" I snap, impatiently, "I can walk to the store on my own; I don't need your protection!"

Peeta lets out a breath through his mouth, obviously losing his patience. "Katniss, I am going because I need to get stuff too, not just for whatever protection you believe that I want to give you."

I narrow my eyes, "I'll get whatever damn shit you need!" I snap, surprised at the tone of my voice.

"Katniss, really it is alright! I can get it!" He says, closing his eyes.

I scowl at him, "I really don't need your help! If I want to do something on my own for once in this entire fucking nine months, I should be allowed!" I snarl.

"I'm not saying you're not!" He half-shouts, now fed-up with me.

"Yes!" I shout, "You want to cocoon me up in this shit hole so that your precious child is safe! I deserve some time alone Peeta!" I slam my fist down on the tabletop, now fuming, "Can't I get that? I have gone through hell these past few weeks! And that is a lot for me to say because we both know what I've been through! I can't do anything!" My voice is at its breaking point, but I keep going, "One minute I'm sad, the next I'm happy, the next I don't even know what! Oh yeah and just to add another wonderful variable to this equation, I am going to be huge!" I shout, now panting from my voice being so loud.

"Katniss," say Peeta, softly, "You're going to be fine, okay? I swear. You can go to the store on your own; I'll just give you a list of what I need." He says, soothingly.

I let out a shaking breath and then well tears well up in my eyes, "Oh, Peeta," I say, my voice is soft, "You're so amazing, I don't even deserve you for the bitch I've been the past few days." I bury my face into his chest, "Why don't you just go run off with some pretty girl who won't scream at you for being the greatest husband in the world." I say, sniffling.

Peeta wraps his arms around me, protectively. "Shh," He soothes, stroking my hair, 'Don't worry, you do deserve me, Katniss, this isn't your fault." He murmurs, calming me. "And I'd never be able to run off with some 'pretty' girl because no other woman can even compare to your beauty."

I look up at him and rest my chin against his chest, "You're amazing." I whisper, my voice barely audible.

Peeta smiles and kisses my forehead, "Like you're not," He murmurs, "You're the one who is carrying our baby, you," He says, pointing at me, "are the one who is doing all the work, I'm just smoothing out the cracks." He says, smiling.

I snuggle my face into his chest and let my eyes flutter closed, "At least I'll have you through this whole time, because if I didn't I'd probably go insane."

"Yup," He says, I hear the joking tone in his voice, "I bet you would, people around town would call you the crazy old hag or something like that. You know, it would have to be pretty creative." He says.

I bat at his arm, "Hey! I think I'd get a better nickname than the old hag! Maybe the young hag…" I say with a wink.

He laughs and lets me go, grabbing a piece of paper from the counter, "I love how you would so easily accept being called a hag, it's just the whole 'old' thing that pisses you off."

I laugh, "Yup, that's me."

* * *

><p>"Di!" I snap, "I just can't for a few months, ok?"<p>

"Katniss, if you can't do something that you begged me to do for a few months, I need a legitimate reason! I have already spent a few thousand dollars on this horse!"

"Di! I just can't okay?" I repeat. I had been trying to keep the pregnancy a secret at least until I had to say.

"Why, Katniss?" She demands.

She had finally worn me down, "Because I'm friggin pregnant!" I shout.

There is silence at the other end of the line.

"Di?" I ask.

"Katniss! Why didn't you just say so?"

I sigh, "Just please don't tell anyone Di, I want to tell everyone on my own time."

"Alright, definitely." She says, "Just stay safe!"

I let out a sigh, "I know, I know."

"And make sure you don't over exert yourself, and remember to eat healthily." She says.

"I know!" I snap.

"Alright!" Di says, "I am just reminding you!" She says.

"Alright, sorry." I say, letting out a breath.

"Ok, well you take care of yourself and that baby." Di says and hangs up.

I sigh and place the phone on the table, "I know…" I whisper and place my hand over my subtly swelled stomach.

I sit down in the chair closest to me and bend my head down to look at the bump that is my baby. "How am I going to do this?" I whisper and close my eyes.

I silently picture what it will be like. Having a baby, that is. I know some things from when Prim was young, but since I was only a few years old, it is very fuzzy. I remember her crying a lot the first few months. And she slept a lot. Those are the only things that I can conjure up.

I open my eyes and stand up, pushing off the table. I look around the kitchen and then pick up the phone. My fingers dial her number quickly and I listen to the tone.

"Doctor Lillian Everdeen's office, how may I help you?"

"May I please speak to Doctor Everdeen?" I ask.

"Alrighty," The woman says, a little bit too cheerfully, "Let me connect you to her phone."

There is a beep and then I listen to the low rings.

"Doctor Lillian Everdeen." My mother's voice says.

"Mom?" I whisper, softly.

"Katniss?" She says, surprised, "What's wrong?"

I sniffle and finally let all the tears that I have been holding in out, "Mom! I can't do this!" I choke out.

"Can't do what, Katniss? Did Peeta do something?" She asks, her voice filled with concern.

"No Mom, but I'm having a baby, I'm having Peeta's baby." I whisper, my voice cracking.

"Katniss!" She gasps, "Are you really?"

"Mhm…" is all I can get out.

"Oh, Katniss! That is wonderful!" She says, excitedly. "Oh! I'll be a grandmother! How far along are you?" She asks.

I sniffle "I'm about four and a half months along, maybe a little less."

She gasps and I hear her slap the table she must be next to, "I'll come and help around the eighth month, alright? I can't come any earlier than that; I am booked solid with appointments."

"Okay…" I whisper and take a deep breath.

"Katniss, why are you so sad?" She asks.

"What if I'm a terrible mother?" I ask, "Or what if this baby hates me, no matter what I do." I feel my lip quivering and I lean against the table.

"Katniss, you'll be an amazing mother, just look at what you did for…" her voice trails off, "for Prim, she adored you Katniss." She whispers.

I feel more tears in my eyes and they silently fall. "Thank you, Mom…" I murmur and hang up the phone.

* * *

><p>My eyes fly open when I feel it.<p>

I sit up in bed and look over at Peeta, who is still sleeping soundly, his back turned to me. I look around and looked under the sheets. Nothing.

Suddenly I feel it again. A quick push against the right side of the moderately-sized bump that is my child. I stare for a second before I inch my hand over my stomach, resting it against the spot where I felt the push.

When the baby kicks, softly again, I gasp. "Peeta!" I say, shaking his shoulder.

He jumps up, "Huh? What?" He says, tiredly.

"Peeta," I whisper, "Give me your hand."

He looks at me for a moment before reaching out his hand to me.

I take hold of it and move it to the spot on my stomach and hold it there for a moment.

"What?" He asks, quietly after a moment.

"Just wait for it…" I murmur.

Right when I close my mouth, the baby kicks quickly, gently.

When I look up at Peeta, his eyes are wide and eyebrows up. "That was our baby…" I whisper.

He looks at me and smiles, leaning forwards to kiss me, "You bet it was."

I snuggle back under the covers and look over at Peeta, "Peeta?" I ask.

"Yeah?" He says, his hand still where the baby is kicking.

"Are you ever scared you'll be a bad parent?" I whisper, barely audibly.

He raises his eyebrows, "Oh, Katniss! I'm scared every day, but then whenever I see you with our baby, nothing else matters." He says, patting my stomach.

I smile and then glance at the clock next to our bed. It clearly states it is five-forty-five in the morning. I sigh, sitting up, "Might as well, get a head start on the day."

Peeta lays back down, "I'll be down in a little, you can manage eggs right?" He asks.

I nod and hop out of the bed. My feet carry me into the hallway. I let out a yawn as my bare feet stealthily move down the stairs.

Once I reach the kitchen I begin preparing the eggs. I set a plate onto the table and toss a spatula next to the oven. My fingers move carefully, cracking the eggs, pouring them into the pan and turning on the stove top. I begin humming softly, and move the eggs around the pan with the spatula. "Maybe when you're born," I whisper, looking down at my stomach, "You'll like eggs so that I can actually make you something." I pat my stomach. "But, if you don't, there is no need to worry, you're daddy is the best baker and cook to ever grace the planet."

I flip the eggs carefully, "But I'll try to learn how to cook, just for you though…" My voice trails off and I smile. "But I can't promise the results." I say.

I hear Peeta laughing behind me.

I turn around, startled, but when I see he is smiling, I grip the pan of eggs and being putting them onto the white plate that has been sitting on the table. "Anyway," I say, "You better not come too soon, me and your dad aren't ready yet," I set the pan in the sink and turn on the water, rinsing it quickly, "We still need to get your room ready and everything." I pat my stomach and sit down at the table, glancing at Peeta.

He laughs, softly and sits down across from me, "You do bring up a good point, what are we going to do for the baby's nursery?" He asks.

I shrug, "I'll call Annie and see how she did Finn's nursery." I say.

He nods, "Alright, just remember to do that." He says.

"I know," I say, "I'll call her later."

"Oh, and you have another doctor's appointment today." Peeta says and spears a bite of eggs into his mouth.

I sigh, "Alright, what time?" I ask, placing one hand over my stomach, a habit I have developed.

"I think it's around ten, maybe a little later." He says.

I nod, "Alright, are you coming?" I ask, hoping the answer is yes.

He smiles and garbs my free hand that is resting on the table, "Wouldn't miss it for the world." He murmurs and squeezes my hand.

* * *

><p>"Alright, Katniss," the nurse who has been helping me says, smiling, "Just lift up your shirt a little bit so we can do the ultrasound and then you'll be done."<p>

I release Peeta's hand and roll my shirt up to below my chest.

The woman smiles, "Dr. Anphia will be with you in a moment." She says and exits the room.

I narrow my eyes, "Couldn't I have just waited for her to get in here to pull up my shirt? Was it truly necessary that I have it up when she walks in?"

Peeta chuckles, "Katniss there is a reason for everything, but some reasons are just to give a good laugh." He says with a wry smile.

I narrow my eyes playfully, "I hate you."

"You wish you could hate me." He says, laughing.

I stick my tongue out just as Dr. Anphia walks through the door. She laughs, "I hope we're playing nicely."

I laugh, "Nope."

Peeta mock-rolls his eyes, but smiles.

"Okay, Katniss, I'm going to put some gel on your stomach, it might be a little cold, but don't worry it'll pass." She says with a wink.

I nod and place my hand back into Peeta's.

The doctor quickly squeezes clear gel onto my stomach. She smoothly spreads it across the rest of it and flicks the lights off. She carefully rolls the ultrasound machine over to us. She removes the wand (A/N: I have no idea what the legit thing is called XD) and turns on the machine. It hums for a moment before going silent.

She runs it across my stomach and an image slowly appears.

I squeeze onto Peeta's hand and look at our baby.

Peeta smiles and kisses my hand, "Never gets old." He whispers as we look at the black splotch that is our child.

Dr. Anphia smiles and turns a dial on the ultrasound machine.

The baby's heartbeat floods the room.

I gasp and squeeze Peeta's hand.

"Well," Dr. Anphia says and runs the wand over my stomach, "This baby seems to be doing amazing. You don't drink, you don't smoke and you're avoiding all the foods I told you to avoid." She nods and smiles, "Based on this, you seem to be developing the perfect child." She winks.

Peeta kisses my forehead, "The perfect child," He whispers in my ear, "Sounds…perfect, just like their mom."

* * *

><p><strong>Heeeeeeey! How was it? I gave y'all what a few were asking for, more PeetaXKatniss, ABSOLUETLY NO HORSES! Well except for that whole conversation between Di and Katniss XD. Anyway! Review my lovelies! I truly need it to know what y'all want! I just loved this chapter though…it really showed that Peeta would go to the ends of the earth for Katniss and their baby…and we all know he would :D Anyway, I know the ultrasound shot was a little shot, but I just thought that it was going to drag on if I made it any longer XD Just because I have that issue rofl. I need suggestions for the baby's name! We all know it's a girl; at least I am going by that. My friends have suggested Amber for whatever twisted reason, but I need other suggestions. Everything is appreciated ;) And sorry for whoever wanted to see the scene when they tell Haymitch XD That'll be in the next chapter when she tells like everyone lol I worked hard on this, so any and all feedback is welcomed and loved XD Thanks to all the people who have stuck with me through this so far! Things are getting better! At least I hope… And I need help making a choice for the song in the next chapter, here are the choices-<strong>

_Because of You-Kelly Clarkson_

_I Hope You Dance- Leanae Womack_

_Keep Holding On-Avril Lavigne _

_The Last Goodbye-David Cook_

_You Can Fly Now-(Go onto YouTube and search up 'You Can Fly Now' click the video with the horse on it, it is a tribute to Ruffian, I love the video as well, but I love to song)_

_In the Arms of the Angels-Sarah McLachlan_

_Without You-Harry Nilson _

_God Bless the Broken Road-Rascal Flatts_

**I love all these songs and needed help! Please review with which song and a scenario that you would like to see with it ;) Thank you so much!**

**With love,**

**~Amber**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey Dears. Sorry that I took a little longer than usual to update. Family has been over a lot during this update. So yeah, I also decided that I am probably going to name the little girl….HAHA not telling xD You all get to wait until she is born until you find out the name. I know, cruel. I guess xD But I really do want y'all to be surprised when Katniss says the little girl's name. ANYWAY! Without further ramblings that I truly doubt any of you will legit read, CHAPTER 11!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

* * *

><p>"Peeta!" I call up the stairs, "Where is the damn phone?" I tap my foot, getting impatient.<p>

"Check in the kitchen, I might have left it there, if it's not in there," he pauses, "Then I have no idea."

I sigh and walk into the kitchen. I look around the countertop, getting more ticked off each second that passes. "It's not here!" I shout.

"Then I don't know!" I hear him shout.

I take a deep breath and walk into the living room. "Come on, Katniss," I mumble to myself, "Where did you put the damn phone?"

A few days earlier, I had ordered furniture for the baby's nursery per Annie's advice and wanted to call to see how much longer it was going to take for the order to be delivered.

It suddenly dawns on me. I walk over to the study and pull open the door. There, sitting next to a Capitol catalog for baby furniture, is the phone. "Found it!" I shout and quickly dial the number from the page.

After a few rings, there is an automated voice telling me to please hold. I roll my eyes and rest my free hand against my ever-growing baby bump. I drum my fingers carefully against the side of the phone and wait.

"Hello, how may I help you?" A voice with a Capitol accent asks.

I take a deep breath, "Hello, I was wondering how long it was going to take until my order arrived at my home."

"Well, when did you order the items?" The man asks.

"On Thursday." I say.

"Alright," I hear him clanking away on a keyboard, "Last name?" He asks.

"Mellark." I say smoothly.

There is more clanking keys and then a pause, "Katniss?" He asks.

"Yes." I respond and wait patiently.

"Well," He stutters, "I mean if you want, we could have your order there by tomorrow." He says.

I furrow my eyebrows together, "Umm, alright, thank you." I say.

"It's baby furniture for a nursery correct?" He asks, as if he can't see my order on the screen in front of him.

"Yes, as in for a baby's room." I say, impatiently.

"Ju-just checking." He says.

"Thank you." I repeat and hang up.

* * *

><p>The next day our order actually does come. Peeta directs the delivery men to the room we both agreed would work as the nursery.<p>

Twenty minutes later, we are both sitting on the floor in the room and prying open large boxes. "First let's get the important stuff out that'll we'll need right away." I suggest.

"Good idea." He says and reaches of the largest box. "This one's the crib, important, right?"

I laugh, "Yup, pretty important." I say.

He opens the box and begins carefully removing parts.

I glance at him and begin to push a large box with a picture of a highchair on it towards the corner of the room when Peeta's voice stops me. "Katniss, I can do that, don't push yourself too hard." He says, concerned.

"I'm pregnant," I snap, "not broken."

"Alright," he says quickly backing down, now always knowing when his words or actions set me off to just back off and agree with whatever I say.

I take a deep breath and begin pushing against the box. "Come on!" I say through gritted teeth and shove it into the hallway. I clap my hands together and walk back into the nursery where Peeta has begun assembling the crib. "We can put that in the kitchen later." I say, motioning to the highchair box.

"Alright," He says and then looks up when he hears a knock on the door. "I got it." He stands and walks down the stairs.

I walk towards another box and look at the top. It says 'Changing table' in clear type. I grab the knife that Peeta had used to open the drib box and slice through the tape on the top of the box. I open the flaps and begin carefully pulling out the parts.

I hear Peeta's footsteps coming up the stairs as well as another pair. I look up just as Peeta walks into the room with Haymitch following close behind.

My eyebrows immediately go up. "Haymitch," I say, "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Just came in to check on you two." He says and eyes the furniture. 'What's all this?"

I freeze. We haven't told Haymitch about the baby yet. "Well," I say, practically stuttering.

"Well?" He asks a little bit too gruffly.

I cough awkwardly, 'Well, I'm pregnant, and this is furniture for the nursery." I explain, slowly.

Haymitch pauses and then bursts out laughing.

I stand up and look at him, slightly annoyed, "What's so funny?"

"The boy actually got you knocked up?" He lets out an obnoxious guffaw.

I feel my face heat up when I nod, "Yes," I breathe out, "I am knocked up." I say through clenched teeth. I set my hands over my modestly protruding stomach and glare at Haymitch.

He pauses for a second and then cracks up again, "What are the odds?"

I narrow my eyes at him, "The odds are obviously pretty good!" I snap.

His eyebrows shoot up, obviously aware that I would take any chance to tear his head off, and now he is provoking it. "Well, it is just funny to think that you two will be parents." He smirks and kicks one of the large boxes.

I narrow my eyes, "Well I'm sorry that the concept of two people loving each other enough to have sex and creating a child is all new to you, but that is what happened with me and Peeta." I can hear the venom in my voice that is fully aimed at slashing Haymitch across the heart.

These words cause him to stop short. Hurt flashes across his face for a split second before anger replaces it, 'Well, sorry for my ignorance, sweetheart." He growls and spins on his heel, storming down the stairs and out the door, slamming it behind him.

I pause, and then my words come back to me. "What did I just do?" I whisper.

I hear Peeta sigh next to me, "Just let him cool down, going after him might do more damage rather than good."

I nod slowly, "Alright." I murmur and turn to face him. "Let's get this nursery done." I say.

Over six hour later, almost every piece of furniture was put together, but they were put at odd angles all around the room.

"What about the walls?" I ask.

Peeta stops screwing something into a large piece of something and then looks up at me, "You can choose the color if you want." He says and then returns to putting together something I don't even care what it is.

I sit down in the dark rocking chair that Peeta had just assembled and think for a moment, "Well, since the sheets and curtains are green and yellow, the walls should be close to those colors and at least match a little bit." I say, feeling the inner-woman in me come out.

He laughs, "Alright, what color are we doing?" He asks.

I shrug and then it comes to me. A statement that he asked me a million days ago.

"_Let's start with something more basic. Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine…but I don't know what your favorite color is?" he says._

_A smile creeps onto my lips. "Green. What's yours?" _

"_Orange," he says._

"_Orange? Like Effie's hair?" I say._

"_A bit more muted," he says, "More like…sunset."_

"Orange," I say with a smile edging onto my lips.

He looks up at me, "Orange?" he asks, pausing, then his lips curve up and he laughs, "Fine, orange is perfect."

I smile, "When should we get the paint?" I ask and look around the white walls.

"Probably in a few days." He says, "I can go into town and see if the hardware store is opened yet," he says, "Last time I saw, it looked about ready to be opened, so I bet it probably is." He explains.

I nod. Peeta has been in town a lot lately because his new bakery is almost ready to be opened as well. "Well, we better paint fast, or hire someone to paint fast because I want this room perfect for our little baby." I say, patting my protruding stomach.

"Don't worry," he says with a smile, "it will be." He smiles.

There is an obnoxiously loud knock against the door. I let out an exasperated sigh and stand up, walking over to the door.

When I open it, I am immediately stunned by the explosion of flashbulbs.

"Katniss! Katniss!" I hear my name from every direction as the picture comes into focus. There are dozens of reporters with their obnoxiously huge cameras snapping dozens of pictures of me with each move I make.

"Katniss! Is it true you are pregnant?" One woman shouts over the buzz of the reporters and the clicks of their cameras.

I locate the woman immediately. She has lime green hair spiked up with blue tattoos all over her face. I narrow my eyes, "Why the hell does it matter to you?" I snarl and step onto the front steps.

Another man speaks up with a buzzed head, but the lemon yellow military cut is easily visible on his dark skin, "Who is the father?" He shouts and motions for the man next to him with a large video camera to move closer to me.

I step back, regretting having moved closer to these animals.

"Is it Peeta?" Someone shouts in the mob.

"It's Gale isn't it?" I hear a woman's voice ring out above the others.

"No, it's Haymitch!" Another voice shouts over the commotion.

I stare at them, horrified as I feel Peeta's hands grasp my arms and pull me into the house, 'You're all animals!" He snarls, the hate ringing out in his voice.

Once he slams the door in the reporter's faces he turns to me and looks into my eyes, "Katniss are you all right?" He asks, looking concerned.

I nod and swallow, "I'm fine," I say, "Really, I just want those people out of here." I whisper and look into his eyes.

He kisses my forehead and sits me down on the couch. "Watch TV, alright?" He murmurs, "I'll take care of this."

I nod and sniffle.

He walks out of the room and I flick on the TV moving through the channels. After about 15 minutes, I hear his voice.

"Everyone out!" Haymitch's gruff voice shouts so loud that I almost cover my ears. "Now!" He bellows and I hear a loud bang as if a gun was being shot.

There are gasps and some screams.

I hear another shot and then run out the front door. Haymitch is standing across the Village's circle with a rifle in hand and his eyes blazing.

"Haymitch?" I call out and look at him.

He stares at me for a moment, and then calls out, "You're welcome, sweetheart." He disappears into his house and closes the door.

"Thank you…" I murmur and turn away, clutching one hand to my child.

* * *

><p>I watch the TV as my face walks out of the front door and the accusations and questions start flying.<p>

I bury my face in my hands as I hear the gun shots and all the cameras turn to Haymitch. "Everyone out!" I hear his voice over the television.

"Katniss, it's not that bad." Peeta murmurs in a calm voice.

I look up at him and then at the TV where two Capitol women are analyzing what had just happened. "It is believed that Mrs. Mellark disclosed that she was pregnant to an employee of _Capitol Furnishings." _They go on to explain that a man leaked the story to friends and it exploded onto the news scene.

I groan and lean my head against his strong chest.

He strokes my back and kisses the top of my head, "Come on, let's get your mind off this." He murmurs.

I look up at him and nod, "Okay," I whisper and turn around, leaning my back against his body.

He rubs his strong hands into my shoulders, "Come on," He whispers, "You don't care about this," He kisses the base of by neck, "No way, Katniss Mellark doesn't care about what others think about her."

I close my eyes and mumble something along the lines of "Yeah, that's right..."

"Never has and never will," He whispers and nibbles on my ear. "She only cares about how her husband thinks of her, which is always amazing," He pauses and kisses down my neck, "beautiful, sexy, perfect…and anything along those lines."

I smile and lean my head back against his shoulder, exposing my neck.

He easily begins to kiss down my tender skin slowly, taking his time.

When he removes his lips from my skin, I let out a sound of indignation.

I hear him chuckle softly in my ear and he turns my head toward him. I look up into his eyes and tilt my head slightly and allow my eyes to flutter closed when he leans into me and presses his lips against mine.

He somehow untangles himself from me, but keeps his lips connected to mine. He straddles my legs and leans into the kiss more.

I wrap my arms loosely around his neck, pulling him lower onto me.

He pulls away from me for a moment, breathing heavily, his eyes filled with lust, "Are you sure you can do this while you're pregnant?" he breathes out heavily.

"Just fuck me," I say, my voice is husky and barely recognizable. My fingers push off the shirt that has been moving high and higher over his lean-muscled stomach.

My nimble fingers pull it over his head and toss it over the side of the large couch. His fingers move to the hem of my shirt and then pull it over the moderately-sized bump that is our child.

I gasp as his cool hands rest against my sides.

After a few seconds, he pushes the waistband of my sweatpants down and then tugs them off, along with my underwear.

I let out a soft groan when he places his hands on the insides of my thighs. My deft fingers unbutton and remove the pants that have been waiting to be torn off.

Peeta wastes no time in removing his boxers and positioning his member at my entrance. He presses his tip into me and then leans down, kissing me as he slowly pushes himself into me.

I groan against his lips and buck my hips against his.

After a few more slow pushes, his hormones must win out because he begins to pick up the pace and force of each thrust.

Our hips develop a subtle rhythm, moving smoothly against each other.

I remove my lips from his and grip the sides of the couch, letting my head fall back onto the pillows.

Peeta grunts softly with each thrust into me.

After a few more moments, he talks gruffly, "Katniss are you sure this is okay?" He groans as I clench around his member.

"Yes," I reply and use my own hands to push his hips into me.

He lets out a low moan and I feel him come inside me.

I pull his head down close to mine and press my lips against his.

Suddenly, the shrill sound of the phone fills the room and echoes through the large house.

I jump underneath Peeta and my eyes fly open.

"I got it." He grumbles and reaches over my head, grasping the phone. "Hello?" He answers; the annoyance in his voice is palpable. "Mhm," He says, glancing at me.

When I notice his eyes are traveling down my body, I playfully whack his arm and laugh softly.

He grins devilishly, but then his face becomes serious, "Alright," He says, standing and leans down to grab his boxers that somehow found their way halfway across the room.

I let out an obnoxious whistle and laugh when he turns around and stick up the middle finger at me, playfully.

I grin and then close my eyes for a few moments. When they open again, Peeta is pulling his jeans up over his hips and zipping them up. I pout and then reach over the edge of the couch grasping the fabric of my underwear. I sit up and slide them on, and then pull my sweatpants on.

"Okay, thank you," I hear Peeta say.

Just as I'm sliding my shirts over my head, he walks in and laughs, "Am I not getting lucky anymore tonight?" He asks.

I grin, "Nope, but you must remember _you're_ the one who put _his_ clothes back on _first_."

He playfully sighs and then sits down on the couch, "Well, I'll just have to live with myself." He says dramatically.

I laugh, "Yup, you will."

* * *

><p>As the weeks pass, my stomach grows larger and larger. No matter what I do, it just keeps getting bigger. And I hate it. I used to be able to hide it when I went out with heavy coats, but now as the winter melts into spring, I am forced to wear lighter clothes.<p>

Once day, I walk to town in a shirt that fully shows my stomach, really not caring about it because of the humidity level.

I hum as I walk through the town streets. Some people glance at me, others stare blatantly. I wave politely at those who greet me, but keep my eyes ahead of me, walking closer and closer to bakery.

"Katniss!" I hear his voice over the low chatter of the town streets.

I turn my head immediately and see his face walking through the crowd. "Gale!" I gasp as he walks up beside me, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I saw the little report on you a few weeks ago and decided to come see you," He explains and falls in step beside me, "And I couldn't get here any earlier than this."

I stop and turn to him. Even though part of me will never separate him from the death of my sister, the rest of me is genuinely happy to see my old friend.

He looks down at my baby bump and runs his hands through his hair and rests it on the back of his neck "Wow, didn't really believe that it was true."

I glance up at him then at the ground, "Yup, this is me and my little baby." I place my free hand over my stomach and feel the baby give a small kick.

He gives a small half smile and looks around the town, "Changed a lot hasn't it?" he asks.

I nod, "Yup, it's really coming together, supposedly we're going to start making medicine."

He nods, "Better than coal." I can hear the distain in his voice.

I nod slowly, feeling as though my head might fall off from nodding so much, "Yeah, a vast improvement…" my voice trails off when I notice his eyes just staring at my stomach. "Gale, you staring at it isn't going to make it go away."

He looks up, startled that I noticed him staring, "Yeah I know…" He looks at my face, "I'm just not used…"

I smile, "Don't worry, Gale, Peeta and I aren't really used to it yet either."

He gives another half smile and glances down the road towards Peeta's bakery. "Are you going to the bakery?" He asks.

I nod, "Yeah, I wanted to go see Peeta for a little while."

"I'll walk you there if you want, since you seem to be the talk of the town."

I laugh softly, "Yeah, it's like I'm not human anymore, just some animal that they think can't hear what they are saying about me."

As two younger women walk out of the door from the restaurant that Gale and I are standing next to, they do a double take when they see Gale and me standing next to each other talking, and then immediately begin whispering.

Gale's eyebrows go up and glances back at me, "So, that's what they do?" He asks, nodding his head at the girls.

I snort, "Yup, usually that and more." When they stop talking and stare at us, I finally snap, "What have you never seen two people talking about things other than gossiping?" I snarl.

The women's eyes go wide and they scurry off in the opposite directions, lugging their purses and shopping bags behind them.

Gale chuckles softly and looks up at me, "You still have that effect on people don't you?"

I glance at him, "What effect?"

He smirks, 'You make them want to flee whenever you open your mouth."

I open my mouth but then close it when he starts laughing. I playfully bat at his arm, "I do not!" I pause, "Most of the time."

When I feel the baby start kicking, hard, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Gale stops laughing and puts is hand on my arm, "Are you okay?" He asks, concerned.

I nod, "This baby likes to kick." I say and place my hand were they are kicking. When I look up I see him looking at me, curiously. I smile and hold out my hand, 'Give me your hand."

He raises his eyebrows, "Why?" He asks suspiciously.

I laugh, "Just give it to me!"

When he places his hand in mine, I pull it toward me, placing it on my stomach. I feel him arm tense up, but I ignore him until our hands land on the spot where the baby is kicking.

He keeps his hand perfectly still, but it remains tight. "What are we doing?" He whispers and looks at me.

"Just wait!" I say, laughing. I move our hands around a few times and then drum against my stomach. "Come on, baby, you were just freaking out, all you need to do is kick once." I say softly.

After a few more seconds, I begin to withdrawal our hands, but then Gale's eyes go wide as the baby gives a small kick.

I laugh and push his hand down a little bit. When there is another kick, Gale just smiles and looks up at me.

When the kicking stops and the baby goes still I laugh at the face Gale is making. "You act like you just say a unicorn or something."

He laughs, "Well, I didn't think…"

"What? Didn't think it was alive or anything like that?" I ask, giving him a wry smile.

He laughs, "Thanks, Katniss, that was nice, when are you due?" He asks.

"In two and a half months." I say smiling.

"Well, you better take care of yourself." He says and then glances at the bakery, "Let's go see the proud Dad." He winks as we begin walking down the sidewalk together.

* * *

><p>"Peeta," I let out a soft moan as he moves his hands between my legs and kisses along my jaw line.<p>

"Hmm?" He whispers in my ear.

I let out a shaking breath, "Just don't stop."

I feel him smirk against my skin and he places his lips right below my ear and skims the tender flesh with his tongue.

I close my eyes and relax in his grasp.

After a few moments, he removes his mouth from my skin and I feel him looking at me. "What?" I whisper.

"I want you to do something for me." He murmurs and brushes a lock of hair away from my face.

I narrow my eyes at him, 'No, I refuse to give you a blow job while I'm pregnant."

He smirks, "Well," He says, grasping my hand, "Even though that is devastating, that's not what I wanted."

I look at him, confused, "Then what do you want?" I ask.

"Sing me a song." He stares at me expectantly.

I laugh softly, "Is that all?" I lean in close to him and begin singing softly.

_You're not alone  
>Together we stand<br>I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand  
>When it gets cold<em>

I take a deep breath and grip Peeta's hands. _  
>And it feels like the end<br>There's no place to go  
>You know I won't give in<br>No I won't give in_

Keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<p>

Peeta smiles and kisses myhands, but lets me continue._  
>Just stay strong<br>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
>There's nothing you could say<br>Nothing you could do  
>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<br>So keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through<em>

_So far away_  
><em>I wish you were here<em>  
><em>Before it's too late, this could all disappear<em>  
><em>Before the doors close<em>  
><em>And it comes to an end<em>  
><em>With you by my side I will fight and defend<em>  
><em>I'll fight and defend<em>  
><em>Yeah, yeah<em>

_Keep holding on_  
><em>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<em>  
><em>Just stay strong<em>  
><em>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you<em>  
><em>There's nothing you could say<em>  
><em>Nothing you could do<em>  
><em>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<em>  
><em>So keep holding on<em>  
><em>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<em>

_Hear me when I say, when I say I believe_  
><em>Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny<em>  
><em>Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly<em>  
><em>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah<em>

_Keep holding on_  
><em>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<em>  
><em>Just stay strong<em>  
><em>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you<em>  
><em>There's nothing you could say<em>  
><em>Nothing you could do<em>  
><em>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<em>  
><em>So keep holding on<em>  
><em>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<em>

_Keep holding on_

_There's nothing you could say_  
><em>Nothing you could do<em>  
><em>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<em>  
><em>So keep holding on<em>  
><em>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<em>

Peeta smiles and kisses my forehead, "Beautiful."

* * *

><p><strong>Siiigh, sorry I ended it there xD lack of inspiration lo<strong>**l. Anyway, the next chapter will be MUCH more eventful if ya know what I mean ;) and I think you all do rofl. Anyway, I really did try to respond to all the comments, but couldn't because of a lot going on this week, I'll try to this time around, but no promises xD Let's try to get to 100 reviews soon my dears, the 100****th**** reviewer will be loved lol. Like I will probably praise you xDDDD ANYWAY! I really do hope y'all lived this chapter. You will never guess how the scene with Gale started xD It started out with him like being super…nevermind xD You'd all hate me if I told you lol. Well probably not, but still, I don't feel like retyping what I did lol. But for fan reasons, I'll start doing out-takes and post them once I'm finished the entire story XD Hope you enjoy THAT. Anyway, I am fully aware that in some areas that there are **apostrophes instead of quotation marks, it is just that when I type my fingers move a little faster than my head and I release the Shift key and it just comes up, and then I don't realize it. Well, I do for some of them, but others, as you can notice, I don't xD So just let that be because I am trying as hard as I can on fixing the typos, but I am an extremely fast typer and am a little bit lazy, so going back and reading something that I came up with is a little boring to me xD****

**Until next time ;)**

**Love ya,**

**~Amber**


	12. Chapter 12

**Ah, my dear readers. You will never know how happy I get when you review within the hour that I post the chapter. That lights up my day and makes the hours of sitting in front of the computer, fighting through writer's block and refusing to stand up all worth it. Your "Update soon!"s really bring smiles to my face and make me a little bit happier. I'm always sure to put your requests into each and every chapter, making sure I please the people that are my readers ;)Anyway, once again, I am truly appreciative and love you all. So here ya go, what you all wanted~ Chapter 12.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12<strong>

* * *

><p>"Mom," I say in an even as a tone I can muster, "I can handle doing the laundry without your supervision."<p>

"Katniss, I am just here in case anything happens." My mother says and sits down on an over-turned basket that Peeta likes to sit on and talked to me any _other_ time I do the laundry.

I look up and narrow my eyes, "Mother, I am in the laundry room, what would happen that I really couldn't make it to the kitchen?" I ask, impatiently.

"Now, Katniss, please don't do this to me, I am here to help you because you yourself said you wanted me to come if for some reason you couldn't make it to the hospital." She scolds and begins to help me put the clothes in the washer. She lifts up a small frilly black lingerie slip , 'What is this?" She stares at me.

My eyes go wide and I blush beet red, "It was from our honeymoon phase…" When she looks skeptical, I snatch the slip from her hands, "Really! I found it a few days ago underneath out bed while we were cleaning and thought I could wash it." I hold the thing up, "You _really_ think this," I say motioning to my round stomach, "could fit in this?" I say

She stays silent for a moment and then lets out a small chuckle, "Okay, I'll take your word for it." I begins tossing our clothes into the machine.

I feel the baby start kicking. Hard. Again. I take a few deep breaths and place my hand on my stomach.

"Are you okay?" My mother asks, concerned.

I take another deep breath, "Just dandy."

My mother nods and closes the washer, turning it on. "Well, I'll go to town and buy those things you wanted." She says and walks out of the room.

I take a deep breath through my nose and then look down at my stomach, "Come on baby," I whisper, "Just come soon."

I hear the door open in the den and walk in.

Peeta smiles when he sees me, "Hey, how are my two favorite people in the world?" He asks and walks over to me, leaning down to kiss me.

I accept his kiss and place my hand over his when he sets his on my abdomen and stretches out his fingers. "Well, one of us is doing just fine." I say, "And that is because they are nice and warm sleeping in a water bed inside their mommy."

He chuckles and kisses my forehead, "Well, you just must be suffering," He smiles and pats our baby, "Don't worry, it'll all be over soon."

I laugh softly, "Yup, soon," I untangle myself from his grasp, "It feels like it will never end."

Peeta comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me, "Don't worry, only two and a half weeks left."

I let out an exasperated sigh and nod, "I know, but right now, two and a half weeks feels like an eternity."

He rests his head on my shoulder and sets his hands on my swollen stomach.

I sigh and stare at my body, "I am so hideous."

"No way," Peeta whispers in my ear, "I think you're beautiful, just the way you are."

I snort, "Yeah, fat and bitchy?" I pause, "but I bet you don't mind that my boobs got five times bigger."

Peeta kisses the base of my jaw, "No, your chest size before was just fine, not that I don't mind the improvement," He playfully nibbles on me ear.

I let out a soft moan as he moves his hands move onto my breasts.

He chuckles softly, "Well, that was beautiful too." He easily slides his hands through the sides of the tank top I am wearing and moves his fingers around inside of my shirt.

I breathe through my nose and lean against his body.

After a few seconds, I realize my mother could walk in any moment. I step away from Pet and turn to face him, "We don't want my mom walking in on us or anything." I say quickly and glance at the door.

Peeta laughs, "Okay," He leans in for a kiss.

I accept his kiss, but only for a second before I pull away.

"Let's go make dinner before it gets too late."

* * *

><p>"Peeta!" I snap, getting ever impatient for his constant pestering me to do or not to do specific things.<p>

"Katniss, I am just trying to keep you safe." He says in an even tone, but I can see in his face his patience of a saint is wearing thin.

"I don't need you to protect me!" I half-shout.

My mother silently slips out of the living room and disappears up the stairs, most likely to let us work this out ourselves.

He stares at me and then takes a deep breath, "Katniss, please I am losing my patience."

I feel tears pricking the backs of my eyes, but I am so angry I keep shouting, "No, Peeta! Didn't you hear me? I don't need you!" I shout and breathe heavily, emotion crackling in my voice.

He pauses as what I just said sinks into his mind. Once it registers, the hurt on his face in immanent.

I pause, realizing what I had just said. "No, Peeta…" I stutter, trying to back pedal.

"No," His voice is harsh and feels like a smack in the face, "You said what you needed to." He turns away from me and walks up the stairs, slamming our bedroom door behind him so hard that the pictures rattle against the walls.

I feel my lip quiver and that's when the tears come. I run up the stairs and lean my forehead against our bedroom door. I hear Peeta punch the wall. Hard. I feel small vibrations through the wooden door and open my mouth. "Peeta, I'm sorry." I whisper. I know he can't hear me. "Peeta," I say, louder this time. "Peeta, I'm sorry." I say, my voice cracking from emotion. "I'm sorry that sometimes I yell at you when I really don't mean to. I'm sorry that sometimes I push you away from me, because part of me feels that if I let you get too close, you'll be taken away from me again." I let a single tear slide through my eyelashes and roll down my skin. "I'm sorry that sometimes I upset you, because I never mean to. I'm sorry that I let my mouth get the better of me. I'm sorry I make it seem like I don't need you, because I need you more than anyone on this earth." I take a slow, deep breath, "And I'm sorry that sometimes I act like I don't love you, because part of me feels like if I let you get too close to me again," My voice fails me for a moment as the silent tears fall down my cheeks, "that you'll be taken away from me, but forever this time."

I wait to hear him walking to the door, to hear any indication that he cares about what I just said. When he doesn't come to the door, I turn my back to it and lean against the green walls, sliding down into a sitting position.

I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wall, resting my hands on my rounded abdomen. I begin softly, quietly, as if singing to myself, but then my voice gets louder.

_Everybody needs inspiration  
>Everybody needs a song<br>A beautiful melody  
>When the nights are so long<em>

I keep my eyes closed, but somehow a tear slides through my eyelids and rolls down my face, splashing against my neck. 

_'cause there is no guarantee_  
><em>That this life is easy<em>

_Yea when my world is falling apart_  
><em>When there's no light<em>  
><em>To break up the dark<em>

I take a slow breath and continue. _  
>That's when I look at you<em>

_When the waves are flooding the shore_  
><em>And I can't find my way home any more<em>  
><em>That's when I look at you<em>

_When I look at you_  
><em>I see forgiveness<em>  
><em>I see the truth<em>

I run my fingers over the fabric covering my baby._  
>You love me for who I am<br>Like the stars hold the moon  
>Right there where they belong<br>And I know I'm not alone_

_Yeah when my world is falling apart_  
><em>When there's no light<em>  
><em>To break up the dark<em>  
><em>That's when I look at you<em>

_When the waves are flooding the shore_  
><em>And I can't find my way home any more<em>  
><em>That's when I look at you<em>

_You appear just like a dream to me_  
><em>Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me<em>  
><em>All I need<em>  
><em>Every breath that I breathe<em>  
><em>Don't you know you're beautiful<em>

_When the waves are flooding the shore_  
><em>And I can't find my way home any more<em>  
><em>That's when I look at you<em>

I feel somebody sit down next to me, so I slowly open my eyes and look straight into Peeta's clear blue eyes. His cheeks are stained with trails of tears as he reaches out to wipe away my own tears.

_I look at you_

My voice is soft as I sing the final line of the song._  
>You appear just like a dream to me<em>

"Peeta, I love you." I whisper, leaning into his strong chest.

He strokes my hair, "I love you, too, Katniss." He murmurs.

* * *

><p>I curl my feet underneath me, brushing my fingers along the cool stone. Peeta and I had put a small gravestone at the lake for Prim. Today was the first time I had the courage to walk out here with the aid of Peeta and see it.<p>

I hear Peeta's heavy tread off to the right, but I know that he is leaving me to talk with my little sister for now.

"Hey Prim." I say quietly. I take a deep breath and stare at the plain grey stone, "I'm having a baby if you didn't know." I murmur. My fingers trance the perfect words Peeta had engraved on the stone.

_Primrose Grace Everdeen_

_Beloved sister, daughter, friend and doctor_

_Forever in Our Hearts and Minds_

_Never to be Forgotten_

My lip quivers. "You know, the world isn't the same without you." I take a slow, deep breath, "I don't even know what to do when someone mentions you," I remove my hands from the stone and set them down on my lap. "I miss you so much." I whisper, "Sometimes, when I wake up, I think that you'll come bounding up the stairs screaming my name like you used to." The tears slowly slide out of my eyes and down my olive skin. "But then I realize that you're gone and you can't come back." My voice trails off and I feel my chest tighten. "I wish you could be here to see my child grow up, but don't worry, you'll always be in our hearts." I chew on my lower lip, "Can't you just come back?" I whisper, my voice filled with emotion.

There is a shuffle of leaves behind me. I sit straight up. _No, that is impossible._ I think and turn around.

Peeta looks across the clearing at me and steps onto the stones that surround the lake, "Katniss, it's getting late, come on." He murmurs.

I look at him for a moment and then nod, holding out my hand for him to help me up.

He grasps my hand and pulls me up. "You okay?" He asks, the concern is evident in his voice.

"Yeah…" Is all my unstable voice can manage.

He nods slowly, "Okay, but if you want to talk, remember that I'm always here for you."

"Okay." I murmur.

He squeezes my hand and leads me through the woods that I used to love so much. The woods that almost drive me insane when I am in them now.

Something must show on my face because Peeta pulls me to a stop, "Katniss, are you all right?" He asks.

I look up and nod, "Yeah," My feet quickly begin moving. I just need to get out of here.

Peeta quickly follows me, catching up to me within two strides and grabs my hand.

The stab of pain I feel in my body is sudden and causes me to let out a gasp. My hand flies to my lower back and I stop walking.

Peeta turns and looks at me, "Katniss, are you okay?"

"Ye…" I begin, but another jolt goes up my spine. I take in a sharp breath and close my eyes.

"Katniss?" The concern in his voice is apparent.

I take a deep breath and nod, "I don't even know what the hell that was."

He steps back next to me and wraps his arms around me, guiding me to the edge of the woods. "Come on, let's get you home and sitting down."

"Peeta, I think I'm having the baby."

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later, Peeta is watching over me, making sure that I don't fall off the couch or something.<p>

I glance up at him and let out a soft laugh, "You don't need to just stand there and stare at me, Peeta, I'm not just going to roll off the couch." When he doesn't move I sigh, "Peeta, I think my mother was kidding when she told you to make sure I don't fall off the couch."

"And if I leave and you start falling off the couch, what are you gonna do, huh?" He asks, playfully.

I shrug and laugh, but another shock of pain shoots through my body. My laughter turns into a groan, "I feel like I'm about o throw up." I mumble into the pillow.

Peeta rubs his hands into my back and kisses the top of my head, "Don't worry, you'll get better soon."

The second he closes his mouth, I clamp my hand over my mouth and run into the bathroom. I vomit up anything that I had in my stomach and cough.

Peeta steps into the bathroom behind me and reaches out his hand to me, "You okay, Katniss?"

I nod slowly and take a few deep breaths. "Can…" I cough, "just take me to the hospital? I really don't want to give birth at home and have something wrong with the baby." I say.

Peeta wraps one arm around my shoulders and grasps my hand, "Come on, your mom will understand if she comes back and we're not here."

I nod and follow him. Right as he opens the door, my mother is there. She looks back and forth between us, "What are you doing?" my mother asks. She has a bag of groceries that she had left to get earlier. She said that the items she was buying would help em and the baby.

"I'm taking Katniss to the hospital," Peeta says quickly and glances over my mother's shoulder.

"Well, did you expect her to walk there?" My mother says, incredulously.

Peeta freezes and I know he is beginning to panic, "How are we going to get her there?" He asks, his voice is high with alarm.

"Don't worry." My mother says quickly, "You two are lucky that I have a car that I am required to have in District four for medical duties."

Peeta stops for a moment, "Wait, why do you need to have a car for medical duties?"

"In case I need to get to the hospital quickly." She explains.

"Hello?" I half-shout, "Your wife," I say, directing the comment at Peeta, "and your daughter," I say to my mother, "is giving birth, and unless you want a baby to be born on our front porch, I'd suggest we get a bit of a move on!"

* * *

><p>"Come on Katniss, push!" Dr. Anphia says as she sits in front of me.<p>

I take a deep breath and squeezing on Peeta's hand as hard as I can push, "This hurts to fucking bad!" I shout and then fall back against the headboard when the contraction ends.

"All right," Dr. Anphia looks up at me, "That one is over, be ready in another few minutes." She says.

I gasp for breath and look up at Peeta. "I must be cutting off the circulation in your hand." I say breathlessly.

He leans down and kisses my forehead that is shining with sweat, "Anything for you and my baby." He says and squeezes my hand softly.

I feel a spike of pain go through my body and I clutch onto Peeta's hand, my voice ringing out through the entire room, "Peeta!" I cry out and push as hard as I can.

"Don't worry love, it's almost over." He says soothingly. I know that he looks up at Dr. Anphia, who just looks at him regretfully.

"Labor can last anywhere from thirty minutes to thirty hours." She explains.

I groan and let my head fall back against the pillows.

"Don't worry, that won't happen." Peeta says comfortingly.

I thought I knew all different kinds of pain. From physical pain to emotional pain. But this is an entirely new kind. I tighten all of my muscles and curl forwards, pushing as hard as I can, screaming anything and everything that comes into my head. The list pretty much includes-

"Peeta! Oh my mother fucking Lord! Holy shit! This hurts to fucking hell!"

Usually, I wouldn't even think of saying these words in front of people, let alone my mother. But I really can't help it.

"Come on Katniss, push!" Dr. Anphia says encouragingly and pats my knee.

Peeta kisses my hand and allows me to jerks down on his arm, pulling it in front of me. "When is this gonna be over?" I yell.

"Soon Katniss, I think you're almost ready." The doctor explains.

"Come on Katniss." My mother says encouragingly.

After yet another contraction ends, I collapse, falling back onto the bed.

Peeta squeezes my hand carefully, "You're doing amazing, Katniss, it's almost over."

Dr. Anphia leans back in the chair she'd grabbed about half an hour ago. "You're doing great, Katniss, just keep a rhythm with your breathing, sometimes that helps." She says and smiles.

I close my eyes take quick breaths , trying to recover from the last contraction.

The second I actually begin to feel okay, I feel a strong contraction rip through my body. I jerk forwards and clamp my eyes shut. I put all of my strength into pushing and shout, tearing Peeta's arm into the curve of my body.

"I see the baby's head, Katniss, you need to push!" Dr. Anphia says and moves her rolling chair closer to me.

"What do you think I'm doing?" I scream and slam my head into my knees.

"Katniss you can do it." Peeta says and squeezes my hand.

"Come on!" I shout and push as hard as I can.

The sound of my baby crying makes the entire world go silent. I lean forward and search for my child.

Dr. Anphia pulls the small, screaming child from my body and holds them up. "It's a girl!" Her voice breaks the silence.

My mother immediately starts crying and stands up.

Once I see my baby girl is all right, I fall back onto the mound of pillows and close my eyes, trying to ease my breathing back to normal.

I feel Peeta's breath against my ear as he whispers to me, "You're so damn amazing, Katniss." He murmurs, "You're so strong and beautiful and nothing could ever change that."

I smile and open my eyes.

Peeta kisses me and then looks up when Dr. Anphia calls him over.

"If you want, the father gets the choice to cut the umbilical cord." She says.

Peeta kisses my hand and walks over to the doctor who has our baby on a small sterile table.

My mother sits down on the chair next to my bed and smiles, "Hey there new mom." She says, tears in her eyes.

I laugh softly, that being all I can manage, "Hey grandma."

"I'm so proud of you Katniss." She says and pushes a stray lock of hair away from my face.

I smile, "Thanks, Mom." I whisper and glance over her shoulder, watching the doctor examine my daughter.

My mother pats my hand and turns around, "I'm sure she's fine," she says comfortingly, "Dr. Anphia probably just wants to make sure."

I nod slowly and close my eyes, getting more and more worried as each minute passes by.

I hear Dr. Anphia clear her throat and I look up.

In the doctor's arms is a small bundle is a pink blanket. "Here you go, Mom." She says, smiling and carefully hands my baby to me.

I cautiously wrap my arms around her. Her head is covered in a soft brown down and her soft skin is glowing under the hospital lights. I feel my mouth spread into a broad smile, "Hey baby girl," I whisper and looks down at her lovingly.

Peeta sits down on the edge of my hospital bed and smiles at me. "You're amazing." He murmurs and smiles at me affectionately.

I look up at him and smile, "You owe me." I say softly.

He laughs quietly and leans over slightly so he can see our little girl's face, "Don't worry, I'll give it back to you sometime." He winks.

I smirk and move over closer to the edge of the bed, patting the spot next to me, "Get over here, daddy." I say, smiling.

He smiles and sits down next to me, "Okay, Mommy,"

I look up at him and grin , "So, do you still like the name that we picked out for her a few months ago?"

He nods, "Definitely, I love that name." He says and wraps his free arms around my shoulders.

"What's her name?" My mother asks, a broad smile on her face.

"Well, a few months ago, Peeta and I both agreed on a name for a boy and girl, and we decided if we had a little girl her name would be Willow Violet Mellark." I say and look down at Willow, who is soundly asleep.

"Willow," My mother says with awe in her voice. "Beautiful." She smiles and squeezes my hand, "You're going to make a wonderful mother." She says quietly and looks at her granddaughter.

I lay my head down against Peeta's strong shoulder and close my eyes, keeping my daughter held up closely against my chest.

_My daughter. _Yes, that is what she is. And she is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.

* * *

><p>"Katniss?" I hear Peeta's voice enter my subconscious mind. "Katniss, wake up."<p>

I stir and then blink my eyes open slowly. My head is still resting on Peeta's shoulder.

Peeta's clear blue eyes looks down at me, his gaze has been nothing short of adoring for the entire day.

"Hmm?" Is all I can get out as I sit up and stretch out my long arms.

"The nurse said to feed Willow every two hours and it's been two hours since you last fed her," He explains and points to the clock on the wall that clearly states three.

I nod and lean back, "Well, where is my little girl?" I ask and look around the room.

"I got her," He says, standing up and walking over to the bassinette.

"Be careful." I warn as he slowly lifts her up.

Her small hands reach straight up and she immediately begins whining.

Peeta laughs softly, "Come on little girl, you're allowed to like me too."

I smile and hold out my arms for Willow. "Come here, baby girl." I say and carefully pull her into my chest. "You want to eat?" I murmur and motion my head for Peeta to untie the back of my hospital gown.

He quickly complies and pulls the knot out from the back and then sits down next to me.

I glance at him and bump his chin with the top of my head, playfully, "Come on Daddy, look away." I say, smiling.

He raises his eyebrows at me in disbelief, 'Wait, I've had a hand in making your child, and now I can't you without your shirt on."

I smirk and nod solemnly, "Exactly, now turn around." I say, giving him a mock-threatening stare.

He begins mumbling to himself about having been in my shirt, but complies with turning his head at a 90 degree angle.

I laugh to myself and carefully position Willow in my arms so that I can hold her with one arm and use my free one to pull the top of my hospital gown down so my chest is exposed.

After a moment's pause, Willow begins eating hungrily.

I laugh and look down at her, "Gosh, I thought newborn babies weren't supposed to eat like they had been starved, that is generally saved for teenage years." I say, directing the comment at Peeta.

He groans, "Don't even think about teenage years right now, teenagers are hell to raise."

I carefully poke Willow on the nose and smile when she stops feeding for a split second, but them immediately begins again. "You better not be hell for your daddy." I say to her, "I can tell now, you're gonna be daddy's little girl." I say quietly and glance up at Peeta who is staring at the wall.

When I tap Peeta on the shoulder, he brings his hand up to his eyes and turns to face me, "Yes?" He asks.

I chuckle, "Peeta, you can take your hand off your face."

"I thought you were just being oh so chaste." He says and then splits his two fingers apart so that only one of his eyes is showing. There is a playful gleam in those beautiful crystal blue eyes.

"Hey, I mean if you don't want a free ticket to stare at me with no shirt on, no skin off my nose, it's you who is missing out." I say, matter-of-factly.

Peeta's hand immediately falls to his side and he leans his shoulder against mine, "Well, I mean I guess objecting to you would be useless." He states, teasingly.

I mean my head back against his shoulder, "Yup, you're so right." I look up at him and give him a quick kiss. "Because I'm _always_ right, isn't that right, Peeta?" I ask.

"Yes, Mrs. Mellark, I believe it is a proven fact." He glances down at Willow who has grown still and her small chest is rising and falling subtly. "Can you believe she wasn't even here yesterday?" He murmurs.

I look at my daughter who has her arms curled up in her body and snuggles into my chest. "Nope," I whisper, "I really can't."

"Well," He says and kisses my head, "Now she is and I get to spend the rest of my life with my two best girls."

I hold Willow close to me, adjusting her so that I can lay my head on Peeta's chest. "Perfect." I whisper and allow myself to relax with my beautiful daughter in my arms.

* * *

><p><strong>Awww, so sweet xD Sorry for taking so long. I actually started this on the night of my last post, but then I had terrible writer's block and was freaking out. Then yesterday I started graphic design and doing manips and stuff. I'm going to TRY to make one for RtF. But we'll just have to see how well that turns out xD. If it really sucks that bad….then damn lol. Anyway, I really related to this chapter because when I had my first daughter, her father wasn't there and I just gave Katniss what I never had for my first child. Thank you all so much for reading ;) And don't forget…..REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! (Oh, and don't forget to review ;D)<strong>

**Love y'all,**

**Amber**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey dear readers! So, as we all should know, I am posting this on and Deviant Art, well, on my Deviant Art account, I currently have a banner that I made for Rekindling the Fire. I'll give the URL in the ending author's note for you all to look at ;) Anyway, I would just like to say that if any of you are members on 's forum, I am the winner of the June 2011 Primrose contest ;) I just entered playfully, not really meaning to win lol. Anyway, I know that you all really don't care that much, so without further crap-Chapter 13!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13<strong>

* * *

><p>Her wails come over the baby monitor right next to my head loud and clear, jolting me awake. "Peeta," I groan and roll over to face him, remove his arms from my body. "Peeta." I say louder.<p>

"I'm up." He mumbles, rolling off the bed.

I roll back over and face the monitor, hearing Peeta walk in and begin talking quietly, more like tiredly, to Willow.

"Come on, Willow, do you really need to cry now, at," he pauses, probably looking for the yellow clock on the wall, "two-forty five in the morning?"

His answer is Willow whimpering, and then bawling even louder.

I laugh softly and listen to him talk to Willow.

"Well," he mumbles, "what's wrong?" he asks, as if she can answer.

I hear him shuffle around the room and then there is a long pause, suddenly he start cracking up, "You're hungry aren't you?"

Willow answers with a softer cry.

"Well then, let's go wake Mommy up and we'll see how she feels." He chuckles, his voice literally dripping with satisfaction.

Within moments, he bumps open the door carefully, Willow perched in his arms, waving her small hands in the air. "Mommy, your child wishes to feed." He says playfully and sits down on the bed next to me.

I sit up tiredly and bump his arm, "You are so funny, you sounded so triumphant when you found out she was hungry." I say, letting out a yawn.

He carefully passes Willow off to me and removes his hands from underneath her, "Well, you so readily sent me off to care for our child, I thought it was karma." He says, playfully.

I laugh and then carefully position Willow in my arms. I reach my arm over my shoulder and tug the strap of my tank top off my arm and pull Willow close enough so she knows it's eating time.

She tucks her hands up underneath her and begins to eat.

I settle nest to Peeta and brush Willow's soft, downy hair around her head. I hum softly and close my eyes, leaning back against our bed's headboard.

"Tired?" Peeta whispers in my ear.

"Where'd you get that hunch?" I ask sarcastically.

"The crankiness might have been my first clue." He says playfully and grazes his thumb over Willow's head, brushing against my own fingers that have developed a slow rhythm.

"Mm, really?" I say and settle deeper into the mattress.

Willow pauses from eating and then looks around our room, as if noticing she wasn't in her crib anymore for the first time. She gurgles in her throat and reaches her small hands up out of her blanket.

I laugh quietly and hold out my finger.

She immediately grasps onto it and brings it down to her face, examining it. After a moment's pause, she opens her mouth, crinkles up her small face and sneezes on both my hand and her hand.

I laugh and glance at Peeta, who is smiling at us with sheer love in his eyes. I kiss his cheek and look back down at Willow, who is now just staring at my finger that she still hasn't let go.

She lets out a tiny hiccup and releasing my finger, curls up to my chest and falls asleep immediately.

I laugh quietly and look up at Peeta, "Well, at least she's doing what most babies do, eat and sleep."

"Don't forget crying." Peeta points out, a smile stretched across his face.

I chuckle, "Yup, can't forget crying." I carefully position Willow in one arm so I can pull my shirt back on regularly.

Willow feels the change and moves in her sleep.

I glance down at her and see she has settled back into sleep. I smile and carefully slide out of bed. "I'm going to go put her in the crib."

"Okay," Peeta says, yawning and lays down.

I open the door carefully and walk across the hallway into the nursery. Since the door is already open, I just walk straight over to the crib and cautiously lean over the side, laying Willow down.

She stirs slightly in her sleep, but then quickly falls silent.

I graze my fingers over her sleep face and then whisper, "Sweet dreams, Willow."

* * *

><p>"Baay-beeee!" Finn practically screams when I bring Willow into the room. He jumps off of Annie's lap and runs over to me.<p>

"Shhh, Finn." I say and smile at him.

His sea roam green eyes go wide and he nods, "I shh! Pwomeese! I wove da bay-beeee."

I laugh at the way he pulls out the last syllable of 'baby'. "Okay, then you need to be very very careful." I tell him and walk over to the couch where Annie is sitting.

Finn scampers after me and climbs onto Annie's lap, vying for a better look at Willow.

Annie gasps softly, "She's beautiful."

I smile, "Would you like to hold her?" I ask and look up at her.

"Oh! I'd love to!" She exclaims and shoos Finn off her lap. She holds out her arms and waits.

I carefully slide Willow into her arms and motion for Finn to sit on my lap.

He immediately climbs up my legs and plops down squarely on my legs.

I wrap my arms around him and smile as Annie coos Willow, who is slowly waking up from her slumber.

Finn waves his hand over Willow's face and when she responds with a gurgling sound, he proceeds to start playing with her by continually waving his hand all over her.

Willow lets out a combination of a quiet squeak and sneeze, but quickly bats her hand up to try to hit Finn's hand.

I laugh and release Finn, letting him lean over the baby. "She wikes meh!" He says, his voice filled with excitement.

After a few more seconds, they both seem to grow bored and Willow turns to face Annie's body and quickly falls asleep.

Finn looks up at me with big eyes, "Does Wanty Katty had jee-uce?"

"Finn, ask politely." His mother scolds lightly.

"Can I pwease hash some jee-uce?" Finn asks, his eyes big.

I smile, "Sure, come on." I say and help him off my lap.

He scurries ahead of me and into the kitchen.

I laugh and walk over to the fridge. "Hmm, where is the juice?" I ask out loud.

Finn runs between my legs and points to the bottle, "Wight dere!" Finn exclaims and tugs at my leg.

I gently scruff his hair and smile, "Want to grab it?" I ask him.

He nod so fast I think that his head might roll off, "Yeah! Mommy ne'er le's me carry da big bobbles!" He cries out, reaching into the fridge and closing his arms around the bottle.

I step back, allowing him to carry the bottle to the table. He strategically sets it on the chair, climbs up, and then moves it onto the table. He looks at me expectantly.

I reach into the cabinet and produce a small plastic cup, holding it out to him. "You want this one?" I ask.

He nods and spins the cap off the top of the bottle. "Yesh pwease!"

I walk over to him and set the cup down, "You want to pour it and I'll help you?" I ask.

He nods and grabs the bottle.

I reach over him and grab the bottle at the base.

He leans the opening against the rim of the cup and slowly pours the juice. Once he decides there's enough in the cup, he tilts the bottle back down and sets it on the table. "Dere," he says and beams at me, "I did it!"

I smile, "You sure did, you want to go sit with Mommy and Willow? I ask.

He nods and grasps the cup, then carefully taking each step, walks into the living room.

Annie smiles, "Did you get your juice, Finn?" She asks.

He bobs his head and sets the cup down on the coffee table. He climbs onto the couch next to his mother and looks down at a sleeping Willow. "Why does de wittle guwl a-ways sleeeep?" He asks, obviously bored.

"Because," I say, sitting next to them, "little babies need to sleep a lot because they're so tiny." I explain, "They need a lot of energy to stay awake."

He nods slowly and then jumps off the sofa to take a sip of his juice.

"Where's Peeta?" Annie asks, looking up at me.

"At the bakery, he had to work today, but he'll be back in about an hour," I say, "At least that's what he said." I shrug and glance at Willow.

As if on cue, she begins waking up and her face immediately crinkles up. She begins whimpering and then full on sobbing.

"Oh, baby." I say and hold out my arms. Annie carefully transfer Willow into my arms. "You hungry?" I ask her, usually the word 'hungry' alerts her to food, but she keeps up a constant whimper as fat tears roll down her cheeks. "Ah, diaper." I say and glance at her diaper, which is down apparently full. "Be right back." I say to Annie and walk up the stairs with Willow hiccupping over my shoulder.

Once we walk into the nursery, I lay her down carefully on the changing table.

She repeatedly balls up her fist and stares at it very intently.

I smile, "What's that?" I ask playfully, "Is that little Willow's hand?" I roll up the small pink dress she is wearing and remove the full diaper and gag at the smell, "God for such a small human you sure know how to empty your system."

She squeals and lets out a sound that I take as laughing.

I grab a new diaper and put it underneath her, "You ready to be cleaned up?" I ask. I easily clean her up with baby wipes and power and then wrap the diaper snuggly around her waist. I pull down the dress and lift her up into my arms.

As I make my way down the stairs, I hear a crash and Annie's loud voice after, "Finnick Leland Odair Junior!" She shouts. I hear the anger in her voice as I hurry down the stairs, Willow clutched in my arms.

The scene that is in front of me is Finn standing over a broken vase, the carpet soaked and some lilies that Peeta had bought me from town are strewn across the floor.

Annie looks up at me, her face apologetic, "I am so sorry, Katniss, I wasn't looking at him for a split second and he bumped into the vase." She explains and bends down, picking up pieces of glass.

"Oh, Annie, it's okay, really, it was an old vase anyway, it was here when we moved back in." I tell her and lay Willow on the sofa, leaning her on some pillows. She squeals and bumps her fists into the pillows.

Finn immediately starts crying and runs over to me, wrapping his small arms around my legs, 'I sowwy Wanty Katty, I ninin't mean to!" He bawls. "I gibe you my piggy bank!" He offers, looking up at me with those sea foam green eyes.

I hug him and shake my head, "No, you keep that piggy bank of yours, it's really fine, Finn, as long as you're okay."

Annie walks into the kitchen and tosses the glass into the trash, 'We can buy you a new vase." Annie calls to me.

"No need." I pat Finn and point to Willow, "Can you watch Willow for me so that she doesn't fall?" I ask him.

He nods quickly and scampers over to Willow, sitting next to her.

"Where are your paper towels?" Annie asks, peeking her head into the living room.

"Next to the sink." I inform her and pick up the lilies, setting them on the coffee table. I'll try to save them later, but the water is the main priority.

Annie walks in with the roll of paper towels and sits down next to me.

Between the two of us, we easily sop up the water that is sitting on top of the carpet and are left with the drying water that got below the carpet.

"Thanks, Annie." I say, smiling. I hear the phone ring in the other room and stand up, "I'll be right back." I grab the phone and answer. "Hello?"

"This is the District Twelve hospital calling to confirm this number as being the residence of Peeta Mellark." A woman says in a bored tone.

I feel my heart stop, "Yes, this is his residence."

"Well," I hear the woman take a deep breath, "He got burned on the job and then went into some mental state." She explains.

"Wh…what?" I stutter out.

"He got burned and had a breakdown." She says, obviously annoyed I made her repeat.

I slam the phone down and run to Annie, "Please watch Willow, Peeta is in the hospital." I say, on the brink of tears.

"Oh! Katniss go! She's fine with me." Annie exclaims and picks up Willow.

I easily sprint toward the hospital. The only thing that keeps me running is the need to see my husband before it's too late.

* * *

><p>I smack through the front doors of the hospital and run up to the desk, tears streaming down my face and panting. "Where is Peeta Mellark?"<p>

The woman looks up at me and then back down at her book, "Room E87. Floor 5." She says and then points to the elevator.

I run over and smack on the button to open the elevator. It opens painfully slow and when I get in and click on the fifth floor, it stops at each stinking floor letting people in and out until I get there.

Once the door opens on the fifth floor I run out and look down both hallways. There is E50 down one hall and E14 down another, so I run down the left hall, towards the E51 room. I turn through the maze of hallways until I finally reach the rooms that have seventies on the and slow down, looking at each marked door.

I see E87 straight ahead of me and run through the door. "Peeta!" I cry out and look around the room. I see a curled up ball on the bed and my heart breaks in half. "Peeta." I whisper and feel the tears in my eyes.

A nurse stands up and walks over to me, "Please, no visitors." She says and tries pushing me out.

"No!" I screams and push her back, "That is my husband!"

She pauses but then persist, "Please, he had a breakdown and…"

"Stop!" I shout and feel the tears streaming down my face. I run to Peeta's side and crouch down next to him. "Peeta, wake up." I say, desperately.

He has his fists curled up in tight balls which are wrapped up from the burns. His eyes are clamped shut and he is breathing heavily. There is a sheen of sweat on his entire face as he fights off the nightmares in his head.

"Peeta, please, come back to me." I whisper. I know he comes back when I sing to him, but I can barely whisper, let alone sing. So I take a deep breath and begin at a tone that is barely audible, let alone doing anything for him.

_You say you gotta go and find yourself_

_You say that you're becoming someone else_

_Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you_

I feel my lip quivering as I stroke his forehead. I have to close my eyes. I hear the nurse coming up behind me, but a doctor's voice stops her.

_You say you're leaving as you look away_

_I know there's really nothing left to say_

My fingertips sense him loosening up slightly, but I barely tell because all I want is for him to come back to me completely.

_Just know I'm here whenever you need me I'll wait for you_

_So I'll let you go, I'll set you free_

_And when you've seen what you need to see_

_When you find you, come back to me_

_Take your time, I won't go anywhere_

_Picture you with the wind in your hair_

_I'll keep your things right where you left them_

_I'll be here for you_

Open those amazing eyes. I pray silently to Peeta as I sing.

_Oh and I'll let you go, I'll set your free_

_And when you've seen what you need to see_

_When you find you, come back to me_

_And I hope you find everything that you need_

_I'll be right here waiting to see_

_You find you, come back to me_

_I can't get close if you're not there_

_I can't get inside if there's no soul there_

_I can't face you, I can't save you_

_It's something you'll have to do_

His breathing quietly slows down and becomes more regular, but I still refuse to open my eyes.

_So I'll let you go, I'll set you free_

_And when you've seen what you need to see_

_When you find you, come back to me_

_Come back to me_

_So I'll let you go, I'll set you free_

_And when you've seen what you need to see_

_When you find you, come back to me_

I take a slow breath and let it out shakily.

_And I hope you find everything that you need_

_I'll be right here waiting to see_

_You find you, come back to me_

I open my eyes carefully and see his clear blue eyes locked on me, clinging to my words.

_You find you, come back to me_

_When you find you, come back to me_

"Katniss?" He whispers and stares at me, "What…what is going on?"

"You burned your hands." I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion.

"Are you okay?" He asks, the concern in his voice is evident.

I nod and then choke on a sob.

"Katniss?" He asks, sitting up.

"Peeta, are your hands feeling all right?" The nurse asks, the stun in her voice is palpable.

He flexes his fingers, but winces. "Yeah, they're fine, they just hurt when I move them."

The nurse nods, 'Well, we'll just keep you here for a day or two…" She begins.

"No." Peeta says calmly, "I am going home with my wife and daughter."

The nurse begins to object, but the doctor who I just noticed, I think the one who let me keep singing says, "We have rules, Mr. Mellark. We must keep psychiatric patients for at least twenty four hours after their breakdowns in case the condition returns."

Peeta narrows his eyes and shakes his head, "I need to be with my family."

"And what happens if you have another breakdown?" The doctor asks, his tone biting.

"I won't!" Peeta practically shouts.

'Peeta," I whisper, "It's only a day, just listen to the doctor."

He stares at me for a few moments and then grabs my hand, "Only if you promise that you'll be okay."

I smile and nod, "I promise, but only if you promise that you'll get better."

He nods and then looks at the doctor, "Fine I'll stay, but only for tonight."

* * *

><p>"Come on, Willow, just please sleep, it's late and I'm living off two hours of sleep every night." I say, exasperated.<p>

Willow just whimpers and looks up at me.

I sigh, "What? What is it that you want?"

She sniffles and reaches her hands out to me.

I lift her up and rock her slowly, "Want me to sing?" I murmur.

_Never knew I could feel like this__  
><em>_Like I've never seen the sky before__  
><em>_Want to vanish inside your kiss__  
><em>_Every day I love you more and more_

She burrows her head into my chest and looks up at me with her big blue eyes._  
><em>_Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings?__  
><em>_Telling me to give you everything__  
><em>_Seasons may change, winter to spring__  
><em>_But I love you until the end of time_

_Come what may__  
><em>_Come what may__  
><em>_I will love you until my dying day__  
><em>_  
><em>_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place__  
><em>_Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace__  
><em>_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste__  
><em>_It all revolves around you__  
><em>_And there's no mountain too high__  
><em>_No river too wide__  
><em>_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side__  
><em>_Storm clouds may gather,__  
><em>_And stars may collide_

Willow curls up her small body and lets out a small sigh, closing her eyes. _  
><em>_But I love you __  
><em>_Until the end of time_

_Come what may__  
><em>_Come what may__  
><em>_I will love you until my dying day_

_Oh, come what may, come what may__  
><em>_I will love you, Oh I will love you__  
><em>_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

_Come what may__  
><em>_I will love you until my dying day__  
><em>

I carefully lay her sleeping figure down on the bed and kiss her forehead. "Good night."

* * *

><p>"Peeta," I groan as he pushes me down onto the bed, his legs straddling my body.<p>

"Hmm?" He whispers in my ear.

"Just please don't stop." I say, my voice husky and barely recognizable.

I feel him smile against my skin as he kisses the base of my jaw line. He easily slides my shirt over my head and then glances at me, as if he needs to ask permission to go any further.

My hands are quick as I throw his shirt off of his body and unbutton his pants.

He leans down and presses his lips eagerly against my own. His tongue easily gains entrance to my mouth and fights for dominance.

I finally relent with fighting and then push his pants and boxers down his hips and off his legs. My fingers brush over the cool surface of his prosthetic leg and press down lightly against his real one.

His breathing is heavy against my ear as he drives my shorts down my legs and then pulls my underwear down to my knees, allowing me to wiggle them off with my legs.

My hands seem to move for themselves as they grasp his member firmly and move slowly around the quickly erecting anatomy.

Peeta groans so loud I am almost certain anyone walking by our open window would hear it loud and clear. His fingers move quickly down my sides and stop at the base of my hips. They easily move and meet in the center of my body and then he slowly slides a finger into me.

"Peeta!" I moan and push my head into his bare chest. I feel myself getting increasingly wet as he slides another finger into me. I let out another moan when he begins kissing down my jaw line and stopping occasionally to suck on the tender skin.

He stops for a moment and moves his lips to my ear, "I love you, Katniss Mellark." He whispers hotly in my ear.

"I know." I hiss and kiss him. My fingers uncurl themselves from him and then move to his face, when I pull his lips against mine. I hitch one of my legs over his hip and dig my fingers into his hair.

He slowly pulls his fingers out of me and then I remember his burns. "Peeta, be careful with your hands, they're still healing." I warn him quietly.

He pants and shakes his head, "It's fine." He immediately covers my mouth with his own and slides his tongue into my mouth.

I fall back onto the pillow and pull him even closer, digging my fingers into his scalp.

Peeta carefully positions himself above me and puts all his weight on his elbows. He glances at me for a split second and then slowly pushes his tip into me.

"Peeta!" I cry out and rake my fingers down his bare back. An idea slowly makes its way through my numb mind and I quickly stop moving, "Peeta lay down on the mattress." I hiss.

He pauses for a second and then complies, lying back against the bed.

I force myself to sit up partially and then position myself over him, hovering slightly. After I work up enough courage, I lift myself up slightly and then push down against his body, forcing him to be in me fully.

"Katniss," He groans and his head falls back on the pillows.

I smile to myself. I slowly raise myself back up and fall down easily. My need quickly forces me to move up and down faster and harder as the seconds go by.

His hands are on my hips aggressively as I move against his body.

I feel my body tighten completely and then release my orgasm.

Peeta groans and within seconds, he releases his own.

We both collapse on the bed, sweating and grasping each other's hands.

Peeta is kissing all over my face and his hands still roam around my slick body. He keeps whispering things in my ear most of which I cannot catch, but I don't need to. Finally I hear one statement, "I love you so much, Katniss, more than anyone on this planet." He whispers in my ear.

"Peeta," I whisper.

"Yes?" He asks.

"You know that I love you, too, right? And nothing will ever change that." I whisper, my voice shaking from emotion.

"I know, Katniss." He whispers. "I know, and I feel the exact same way."

* * *

><p><strong>So my dears xD I hope that you liked reading this chapter as much as I liked writing it. As I complete this chapter, I am watching 'Up' with my daughter xD In case you all cared. Anyway, the URL for the banner is-<strong>http:/4everamber**.**deviantart.com/#/d3kvnxi. **Anyway, I know I had at least one complaint on the name, but don't worry I totally understand. The reason I didn't name her after anyone that died is because I didn't think that Katniss would want to have to think of those that she lost every time she looked at her child's face. As I told someone on Deviant Art, I was looking up how to say 'Prim' in other languages. The best one I found was remilgado in Spanish, but it just didn't fit in my mind. And sorry about 2 songs in one post. It just fit in my head to do them xD Peeta's Song was Come Back to Me by David Cook and Willow's Lullaby was Come What May by Moulin Rouge. Anyway, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **

**Love y'all ,**

**Amber**


	14. Chapter 14

**Holy. Shit. It has been way too long since I last updated. Too. Long. I am so sorry my dear readers. Real life has been sort of hectic. Horse racing is an insane business and really calls for most of your attention. ANYWAY! Without further ado, Chapter…14? Wow we are father than I thought I'd get xD Anyway, CHAPTER 14!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

* * *

><p>I stealthily move through the trees. My feet cover the ground in my deadly silent hunter's tread. My eyes see a small squirrel sitting on the ground chewing on an acorn. I aim the bow and the arrow easily finds its target, making a home through the animal's skull.<p>

Earlier Peeta had told me to go out, bring him home something to work with. He said he'd watch Willow for me. I guess he thought that being in the woods would give me back something from my life from before the Games.

But there is nothing here for me. Nothing that my home cannot offer. These woods used to be my sanctuary. The place where I could escape and become myself with my best friend by my side. But now I have Peeta and Willow. And Gale isn't even in our district.

I quickly set the squirrel into my hunting bag and search for my next victim. The scuffling to my right is picked up by my ears before my eyes. I turn to directly face the noise and see a large rabbit. I hone in on its head and release the arrow, sending it flying across the small area to the animal.

The arrow lodges into the rabbit's head with a soft thump.

I walk over to the animal and toss it into my bag. I have both the squirrel and rabbit I just shot plus two other kills, one large squirrel and a turkey. I decide that this is satisfactory and begin the trek back.

I begin whistling, not caring anymore until I hear the sound repeated back to me. My heart stops because I know exactly what just sent my notes back to me. My head turns to where the sound came from and see a mockingjay hopping from branch to branch, calling out my whistle.

A mockingjay. I was the Mockingjay. I am the Mockingjay. Always will be the Mockingjay. Nothing will ever change that. I will never be separated from the war. From the Games. From the Capitol. From the deaths.

All the names come flooding back into my head. Messalla. Castor. The Mellarks. Boggs. Mags. Jackson. Legg 1. Legg 2. Holmes. Mitchell. Wiress. Cinna. Finnick. Prim. Prim is dead.

I feel my breathing pick and I start running. Running through the trees. To the fence. To safety. To my home. To my daughter. To Peeta.

My feet carry me at probably my top speed for about ten minutes before I start feeling like I am unable to breathe. I slow down and lean over, taking deep, gulping breaths. I force my legs to move forward, taking quick un-even strides towards town.

People stare at me as I walk through the streets, not even bothering to do my usual awkward waves and smiles. I push through a group of girls who look only a year or two younger than me. I hear one of them hiss, "What a bitch."

It takes all that is inside me not to turn around to face them and slap whoever said that in the face. I move swiftly through the now-tree-lined paved road to the Victors' Village.

I open the door and slam it closed behind me. My legs buckle beneath me and I collapse to the ground. I feel the vibrations of Peeta's steps coming closer to me until I hear him make a cross between a gasp and my name.

He crouches down next to me and rubs his hand slowly across my back. "Katniss, what's wrong?" His voice is quiet and soothing.

I suck in a breath and attempt to speak, but my voice is cut off by a quiet sob.

"Katniss, come on," He whispers, "You can talk to me."

I sniffle, "I saw a mockingjay today." I murmur, my voice is shaking and barely audible.

He pauses for a brief moment and then wraps his arms around me, "Don't worry Katniss," his voice is soothing as he speaks, "It's all over, now we're married and we have a beautiful daughter. Nothing will change that."

I bury my face in his chest and take a shaking breath. I slowly regain my composure and look up at Peeta. His clear blue eyes are locked on my face intensely, concernedly. "I love you Peeta." I whisper and kiss him. "Really, I do."

He smiles and kisses my forehead, helping me to my feet. "I love you, too, Katniss, nothing can ever change that."

I smile and then hear Willow making loud whimpering noises from where she has been sitting the entire time. She is perched safely on her baby pillow and is beginning to get annoyed that the attention isn't on her.

I laugh and wipes my face, walking over to her. I lean down and lift her into my now-steady arms. She stretches out her arms and legs and looks up at me with her big blue eyes. Her mouth parts in a yawn and she settles into my chest, burying her small face into my warm skin.

Peeta walks over to us and wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder, looking down at Willow who has now forgotten being tired and has begun to suck on my shirt.

I laugh and brush her dark brown hair off to the side of her head. "You hungry, little girl?" I ask playfully, my voice soft. I move over to the sofa and sit down, being careful not to jar Willow from her position in my arms.

Once I settle myself, I cautiously place her on my legs and slide the sleeve of my shirt off my olive shoulders. Willow has now taken up sucking on her shirt while I get ready to feed her.

"Come here, baby." I whisper and lift her into my arms, positioning her with care so that she can being to eat.

She immediately knows what to do and begins to suck, pushing her small fists against my chest.

Peeta kisses Willow's soft, downy hair and then stands, "I'll be right back, I'm going to go check on the bakery make sure the new baker is doing okay." He explains and then walks out of the room. After a pause, I hear the front door close softly.

My fingers graze over Willow's soft skin. "Hey baby," I whisper and look down at her soft face. Her eyes are closed and she is calm while she eats. I run the tips of my fingers over her tender skin and begin to whisper to her quietly.

After a moment, I carefully lift her up onto my shoulder and softly tap her on the back. She wriggles in the grasp and lets out a cry of discontent. I turn her and set her on my knees. She dark blue eyes gaze around the room as I slowly, but firmly pat her back.

When my efforts are rewarded with the sound that I wanted, a soft burp, I smile and kiss her forehead. "You want more?" I murmur and watch as her eyes looks straight into my face.

She opens her small mouth in a wide stretched yawn and then shutters when she closes. She clutches her fists closed and then begins shaking slightly.

I watch her closely until she stops and her eyes begin to flutter closed. My lips stretch into a slight smile as I pat her back a few times to wake her up.

Her eyes pop open and then she looks around, her head lolling because of her weak neck muscles.

My fingers slide up her back to support her head when I hear a knock on the door. I blink, wondering if Peeta had forgotten his key. I carefully position Willow in my left arm and then stand slowly, walking over to the door.

I clasp my fingers around the doorknob and open the door. I am surprised to be facing someone who I hadn't seen in almost five months. Haymitch Abernathy. "Haymitch." I say, slightly shocked.

"Katniss." He says quietly, his eyes locked on Willow who is absorbed in blowing out her own spit and then sucking it back into her mouth.

I glance down at Willow and back up at him, "Haymitch this is Willow Mellark."

He looks up at my face, "She is beautiful."

I glance up at him to make sure that he is sober. There is no foul odor, nor is he slurring his speech beyond comprehension, so I step back and allow him inside.

He steps in and looks around the house. When his eyes lock onto Buttercup who is splayed across the floor, making it totally impossible for someone to walk up the stairs. "You still have that brute?" He asks, an amused expression on his face.

As if in reply, Buttercup lifts up his straggled head and lets out a hiss, batting his paw towards us.

I smile, "Yes, obviously, because he belonged to her." I feel my voice crack at the mention of Prim, but I easily compose myself and lead him into the living room, carefully setting Willow onto her baby pillow.

She lets out a cry when she realizes that I can't feed her now.

I smile and stroke her soft, downy hair, "Don't worry baby, I'll finish feeding you later."

Haymitch glances up at me and I swear his face turns a shade redder than it usually is, "Oh, were you feeding her, I'm sorry, I can just come back later," He begins to stand up, but I point my finger at him.

"No, sit down, you're fine, she eats too much anyway, she's gained a pound in 2 weeks, she has fat to thrive off of. " I begin walking into the kitchen, "Want anything to drink?" I ask over my shoulder.

"Water please." He says.

As I pour two glasses of water, I hear something I thought I'd never hear. Haymitch cooing quietly. I feel a smile spread across my face as I carefully move into the doorway and see him sitting next to Willow tapping his hands and small stomach, the smile on his face stretching from ear to ear.

I grab the glasses and walk in, causing Haymitch to sit up abruptly and blush again. "Thank you," He mumbles and downs half the glass of water within seconds, probably out of embarrassment.

I chuckle softly, "Don't stop on my account, please, I think it was sweet and there are very few people besides Peeta that can make her smile like that." My eyes train onto Willow, her own locked onto Haymitch, waiting for him to continue their game.

He smiles softly, "No, we were just about finished." He says, but I notice him glance at Willow who has resorted to waving her arms around to entertain herself.

"How have you been?" I ask him as I set my glass down on the table.

"All right, things have been moving…" he pauses, as if looking for the right word, "slowly, but I have been attempting to care for my animals."

I smirk, "Really? How many have died since you got them?" I ask.

"Hey, only three." He says and then looks back down at Willow who is smiling and starting at the vase of roses on the table, making cooing noises.

I hear steps approaching the door and the tell tale sound of jingling keys. After a moment's pause, the door creaks open as Peeta walks in and slides his keys back into his pocket, switching the large bouquet of flowers in his hands from one to the other.

When he looks up, his eyes widen slightly, the surprise obvious, "Haymitch, how are you?" he asks, always his opening line when he has no idea what else to say.

Haymitch stands and holds out his hand, shaking Peeta's, "Well, and I see you've been doing pretty well yourself." He casts a glance at me and Willow who is squawking now that she sees Peeta.

Peeta nods, Good," when he walks over to me, he happily presents me with the flowers and smiles, "For you."

I gasp and look at the lilies and carnations that fill the small piece of plastic. I stand and press my lips against his softly, "Peeta, they're amazing." I whisper and then quickly run to put them in water. I hear him begin to coo to Willow saying, "Hello sweetie, how is Daddy's little girl today?"

I smile and then walk back in to grab the flowers that he gave me the week before, which have begun to slowly wilt with each passing hour. I take out the flowers and place them on some paper towels to dry.

A few months ago, Peeta and I had started a tradition of burning each bouquet of flowers that he gives me so that I can keep them forever. Each set of ashes has their own special jar and are labeled with the date that they were given and night they were burnt.

I fill up the glass vase and carefully slide the plastic off the flowers, propping them up inside the vase. My finger clasps the vase as I toss the plastic into the garbage and walk into the living room where Peeta is holding Willow carefully and discussing something with Haymitch.

"Yes, the bakery is doing very well, I just hired a new baker, which was the original reason I went out, but then ended up getting the flowers for Katniss." He smiles as I set the vase down on the coffee table.

Haymitch nods and then smiles at Willow who is shoving her entire fist in her mouth, sucking on it contentedly. "She looks exactly like you Katniss," He runs his fingers down her small legs which shudder against his cool touch. "Hopefully she won't be as stubborn," He smirks and glances at me.

"Hey, my personality is my best quality." I say playfully and then pause while silence settles over the room. "Peeta, can you go change her diaper?" I ask. "I forgot to before I started feeding her."

He raises his eyebrows, but doesn't refuse, "Okay, I'll be right down."

I hear him walk up the stairs and his footsteps fade into silence. "So.."

My voice is cut off by Peeta shouting down the stairs for me.

I sigh, "I'll be right back." I stand and walk up the stairs. Once I walk into the nursery, I see Peeta is highly confused and Willow is still sucking away on her fist.

I laugh softly and walk over to him, "I swear, you just did this yesterday perfectly." I shoo him over, grabbing a clean diaper and the baby wipes.

When I look at Willow I laugh because it looks as if she has a relieved look on her face. I carefully warm the wipe up in my hand and wipe her down. Once I finish, I fan off the moisture and sprinkle some baby powder on her, then wrap the diaper snuggly around her, but leave her enough room to stretch her stomach a little bit. My fingers deftly close the onesie.

Peeta watches carefully and nods, "Okay then, I'll attempt to remember that."

Willow lets out a squeak and waves her hands out above her head.

"Come on, we have a guest waiting downstairs," I pick up Willow and let her head rest on my shoulder, slowing Peeta to talk to her and play with her free hand.

When we emerge into the hallway and walk into the living room I say, "Sorry we…" I glance around the room and see it empty. "Haymitch?" I call out and walk into the kitchen to see that is empty too.

"Haymitch?" Peeta half-shouts. No reply.

"He left." I whisper and shake my head.

* * *

><p>I carefully set Willow into the bathtub and hold her up, making sure nothing past her stomach is underwater. I smile as she taps the water with her fists and squeals with delight. I laugh and begin to rub a wash cloth along her back and chest, washing away the dirt.<p>

Peeta walks in behind me and laughs when he see the water splattered all over my face and body. "Wow, someone finally got you to get down and dirty." He says, playfully.

I laugh, "We're almost done, I just need to do her hair and then we're finished and Daddy gets to brush her hair."

"My favorite part." He says with a smile. His kneels down next to me and splashes Willows chest with some water.

She lets out a gurgling noise and waves her arms around, bobbing her head.

I run water over her brown curls and rub baby shampoo through it, laughing when she opens her eyes, stunned that the water was so cold going over her face.

Peeta laughs and stands, grabbing the towel from the counter and unplugging the tub, allowing the water to drain.

I lift Willow out of the bath tub, allowing Peeta to wrap the towel around her slightly squirming body. I rub her body softly, carefully running my hand over her head, being fully aware of her soft spot. When I remove the towel from her head, her hair is sticking up every which way and is curled up.

Both Peeta and I start laughing as I remove the towel from around her. She squeals as I wrap my arms around her, carrying her into the nursery. As I lay her out across the changing table, I motion for Peeta to grab me a diaper while I bend down to grab the baby powder.

He hands me the new diaper and then grazes his fingers over her protruding stomach.

I pause, then just sprinkle some baby powder over her. I wrap the diaper around her abdomen and kiss her forehead. Peeta hands me a pink long-sleeved onesie and walks over to her crib, pulling back the blanket, then turning on the air conditioner. He quickly returns to my side and grabs the comb, smiling as I lift her into my arms.

I shift positions so that Peeta can comb out her hair, letting it lie flat. I kiss her head and softly begin singing, rocking her back and forth.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise._

Her eyes slowly close, and she lets out a small yawn, stretching out her tiny mouth.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget your woes, let your sorrows lay_

_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away_

I kiss her forehead as her breathing slows down and she stops moving so much.

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

I carefully set her down in the crib, but continue singing, softly.

_Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true_

As I sing the last line as quietly as possible, I feel Peeta wrap his arms around my waist and kiss the back of my neck.

_Here is the place where I love you. _

I lean down into the crib and place another soft kiss onto her forehead, and then drape the blanket over her. Once Peeta turns on the baby monitor, we quietly tip-toe out of the room.

As Peeta carefully closes the door behind us, we breathe a sigh of relief. I laugh when he immediately sits down on the floor, patting the spot next to him. "Come on, you know you want to."

I smile and sit down next to him, leaning my head against his shoulder. "So," I say, "What do we do now?" I ask.

He pauses and then leans his head against mine, "Well, there are two options here," He says, "We could be total romantics and go make passionate love to each other multiple time, or we could go to bed." He says the latter quietly, as if I couldn't hear him.

"Hmm, they are both very tempting, but I think that the choice is an obvious one." I look up at him and then press my lips to his.

I feel his lip spread into a smile as he carefully leans down to me, wrapping his arms around me.

After a few seconds, I pull away, looking up at him, "I'll see you in the morning," I whisper and kiss his cheek. As I extract myself from his arms, he groans. I wink at him and walk into our bedroom.

* * *

><p>The next morning, I walk down the stairs and see Peeta is sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee with the baby monitor next to him.<p>

When he glances up at me, he narrows his eyes. "That was cold." He laugh softly when I give him a pouting face.

"Hey, Mommies get tired, and just because Daddy feels like having sex, doesn't mean Mommy will go along with whatever he wishes." I say, matter-of-factly.

He sighs and just shakes his head, "Well, at least make sure that you don't get Daddy so excited, because then you let him down."

I smile and grab a coffee cup from the cabinet, pouring the brown liquid into the white ceramic mug. I glance at the clock and see it is 10 in the morning. "Woah! Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask, stunned I slept in so late.

"You looked peaceful, and I know that you woke up to feed Willow earlier, so I let you catch up on that time." He explains, smiling at me.

I sigh, and then sit down next to Peeta, who is reading something on his tablet. I glance at it and see it is a floor plan for a new room in the bakery. "When do you want to put that in?" I ask, sipping my coffee.

"Soon, hopefully, with people seeing that the bakery is open again, business is steadily picking up steam." He explains, "And with some new staff that we really are starting to need, we'll need an extension in the back for more room."

I nod, "Well, at least you're doing well," I lean over the edge of the table and kiss him.

He smiles, "Yeah, and I'm sure that once the new baker gets better at running the place alone for a few hours, I'll be home much more."

I smile, "Good, because this house is big and I get bored easily."

"Well, at least I'll be here to be your entertainment." He says sarcastically.

I laugh, "Yes, that is your purpose in life."

We both look up when we hear a knock on the door, and then as if on cue, Willow's cry explodes over the baby monitor.

I sigh, "Peeta, could you please get the door? I have to go get Willow." When he nods, I run up the stairs, taking two steps at a time, but still barely making a noise.

I push open the door to the nursery and see Willow waving her arms around and kicking the blanket off of her legs, her mouth open in a loud cry. "Hey, hey, hey," I whisper and pick her up, rocking her, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" I ask and rub my hand along her back.

She responds with a whimper and tenses her muscles momentarily because letting out another high pitched cry.

I grab the remote for the air conditioner and turn it off, stopping the spray of cold air. "Was that it?" I ask as she quiets down for a moment.

Suddenly she lets out another shrill cry and bobs her hair back and forth off of my shoulder.

My hand immediately flies to support her head. I carefully lay her down on the changing table. I retrieve a clean outfit for her and then grab a new diaper, the baby wipes, and the baby powder. I carefully pull her arms out of the sleeves on her pajamas and slide It quickly over her face, the worst part for her.

When she lets out a soft whimper, I rub her stomach and kiss her forehead, "Don't worry baby, it wasn't so bad." I deftly change her diaper, wrapping it carefully around her. I slide a dress on over her head and lift her up into my arms. I quickly slide a pink, flowered headband over her head, smiling when I look at her.

I was happily making her look like a girl and giving her some of the luxuries that neither Prim nor I ever had. I kiss her forehead and sit her up in my arms, carrying her down the stairs.

I hear Peeta talking to whoever was at the door slightly apprehensively, but to the regular person, it would sound as if he was being friendly. I picked up on things only I would. The slight waver in his voice after each statement. The obvious sound of him drumming his fingers against something.

When I emerge into the room, I raise my eyebrows at who I am faced with. Gale.

* * *

><p><strong>FINALLY! This chapter is finished! I am so sorry it took me almost 2 months to finish! I had my son, Graham Wesley, a few weeks early on August 17<strong>**th****. And then the Hurricane hit after we had just moved into our new house, flooding our basement. Plus I am thinking about getting into a training program for Monmouth Park. It has been totally insane. Plus one of our two year olds is shaping up nicely and we might try to point him towards the Breeder's Cup Juvenile. Just to update you all ;) Once again, I am terribly sorry and will try to update each week for a while. And..REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!**

**With love,**

**Amber**


	15. Chapter 15

**Everyone, thank you all so much for the congratulations and for the reviews, it means more to me than anything else. I love waking up in the morning and checking my reviews and seeing almost 10 new reviews. It puts a smile on my face and starts my day off on a great note. I love you all so much for sticking by my side and reviewing me religiously. So, what did everyone think of the teaser on the VMA's? I screamed when it came on and have watched it at least 15 times since it was posted on the official site. Now I only whistle the four note call at the end (Rue's maybe?) and find myself humming the music from the background. I see it in my head over and over. And I love it, even if it is only one minute and twenty-six seconds. Anyway, just thought I'd ask about it, so without further adieu, Chapter 15!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

* * *

><p>"Gale?" I say, slightly shocked, "What are you doing here?" I ask, easily regaining my composure. Willow lets out a high pitched cry and kicks out with her legs, almost nailing me in the head.<p>

He clears his throat and shrugs, "I just wanted to come and see you, see how the baby was doing." His feet shuffle slowly and he looks up at me. "But if it's a bad time, I don't need to stay."

Peeta shakes his head, "No, it's okay, really." He points into the living room, "We can go in there, Katniss has a cover so she can still feed Willow, everything works out." His voice is moving fast, trying his hardest to remain friendly.

I nod slowly, "Yeah, it's fine, really, you can stay, Haymitch came over yesterday, and we've had Annie and Finn over a week or two ago, then my mom was here when she was first born, so she's used to visitors." I explain easily.

He glances between the two of us and nods warily, "Whatever works for you guys."

I nod and hand Willow to Peeta. "Do you want anything? We have a fresh pot of coffee." I say, walking into the kitchen.

"Thanks." He says and then begins talking to Peeta. I grab my half empty cup of coffee and fill it up again. I reach into the cabinet and pull out an identical mug, filling it with the dark brown liquid. I grab the mugs and walk into the living room, setting them down on the coffee table.

"Do you want any more Peeta?" I ask, glancing up at him.

"Sure." He says and plays with Willow, who has latched onto his finger and refuses to let go.

I walk into the kitchen and grab his cup, filling it with coffee and then walk back into the room, sitting down next to him. "Should I feed her now or wait for a little?" I ask quietly, looking at Peeta.

"You could, if you feel comfortable, but you don't have to, I mean you fed her an hour and a half ago, she could wait a little while." He kisses Willow's head who is looking back and forth between us.

I think for a moment and then stand, walking over to my basket of baby items and grab my cover. I walk back over to him and sit down. I slide the cover over my head and pull my sleeve down. Once I am situated, I motion for Peeta to hand me Willow.

He does and then grabs his coffee, drinking it.

I slide Willow under the cover and expose her feet so that she doesn't get too hot. When I am finally in a comfortable position, I look up at Gale, who I see is just staring at the ceiling. I bite my lower lip, suppressing a smile.

When I clear my throat and he looks down at me, then at the cover. He drums his fingers against his thigh, "So, how has everything been since she was born?" He asks, obviously referring to Willow.

"Pretty well." I say and glance at Peeta.

"Yeah, but Katniss does most of the work, she's amazing." He kisses my cheek.

I blush and attempt to change the subject, "What about you Gale? How has District 2 been?"

He shrugs, "Pretty good, we're rounding up the last of the Peacekeepers who would even attempt to try to over throw us. Besides that, nothing that interesting has happened."

Peeta looks around the room and then asks the question that has been bothering me since he walked in, "Met anyone special?" He asks, casually.

Gale just shakes his head, "Nope, no one that has made an impression." He says.

Peeta nods, "Don't worry, she'll come along."

"Yeah, she will." When I look up I see Gale is staring right at me, but then his gaze flits away quickly. I clear my throat and then pull Willow out from under the cover. Her eyes have slowly closed. I laugh and begin to tap her on her back.

After a few seconds, her eyes pop open and she begins bobbing her head around.

I smile and kiss the top of her head. I tap her back a few more times and then slide her back under the cover for her to finish eating on the other side. I pull the blanket off of her feet and then glance up at Peeta, who is just staring at the ceiling awkwardly.

I chew on my lower lip and then sigh, "Peeta, could you grab me a water bottle?"

He immediately jumps up and smiles, "Anything else?"

I shake my head and smile, "Thank you, sweetie."

He disappears into the kitchen and Gale looks at me, "Crazy to think that if you had never been reaped this could have been us." He whispers.

I blush and act like I didn't hear him, looking through the slip down at Willow who was happily eating. I smile and move my hand underneath the cover, brushing her hair away from her face.

Peeta walks back in and sets the water bottle down next to me, smiling.

I smile at him, and grab the bottle, "Thanks." I take a sip and set it down on the table. The plastic hitting the wood almost seems to echo throughout the house.

There is a sudden knock on the door and all three of us jump. Peeta bounds up, almost relieved to break the silence and opens the door.

"Haymitch? What are you doing here?" He asks. I can hear the surprised tone in his voice.

"Just let me in." I hear Haymitch slur.

I raise my eyebrows and pull Willow closer to my chest protectively.

"Haymitch, you're drunk." Peeta says, flatly.

Am…am not!" He half-shouts.

He must have pushed past Peeta because he stumbles into the living room. When he sees Gale, he stops, but then continues into the room, collapsing next to him.

Gale shifts uncomfortably, moving to the other end of the couch.

I carefully pull Willow off of me and then return my shirt to its regular position over my shoulder. I pull the cover over my head and lay it down on the sofa next to me.

Peeta walks into the room, eyes narrowed at Haymitch, who is splayed across half the couch he is on, confining Gale to the very edge.

Haymitch opens his eyes just as Peeta is sitting down next to me. He glances between the three of us. His face is as solemn as it can get as he says, "You could cut the tension in the room with a knife." He bursts out laughing and falls back onto the couch.

Peeta glares at him and then places his arm around my shoulder protectively.

I chew on my lower lip and then hand Willow to Peeta. I stand and face Haymitch. "Haymitch, get out, you're drunk."

He stays where he is and just leans back against the couch.

I narrow my eyes, "Haymitch, leave my house right now, I do not want you near my family right now." When he doesn't bother budging I take a deep breath and walk into the hallway.

When I walk into the study, I curl my fingers around the smooth wood. Once I walk into living room, I see Haymitch still leaning back with his eyes closed.

I take a deep breath and whip an arrow into the notch of my bow and point it directly at him, having no intention of killing him, but a fairly large intention of scaring him to the point of him leaving. "Haymitch," I hiss.

His eyes open slowly and when he sees the arrow pointed right between his eyes, he jumps and his eyes widen.

"You may return when you are sober." When he pauses, I have a twinge of fear that he will dare me to shoot him, but he slowly stands. He takes a step towards the door. I move the bow along with him.

Within a few steps, he is at the door and slams it behind him. I drop the bow to my side, swiftly pulling the arrow off of it. My fingers release the smooth wood and I let the drop on the chair next to me.

Peeta clears his throat and then shifts Willow's position in his arms.

I sit down next to him and just listen to the clock ticking from across the room. "Well…" I say, awkwardly.

Gale glances around the room and then stands, "Well, I should go visit my family."

Peeta stands up and holds out his hand. Gale shakes it uncomfortably and half-smiles, "It was nice seeing you all."

I smile, "You too." I walk him over to the door and open it. "Bye Gale." I say softly.

His eyes lock onto mine, "Bye, Katniss."

* * *

><p>"Peeta?" I shout. No answer. "Peeta?" I try again. I could hear Willow crying her eyes out from the nursery while I took my shower. I had my head poking through the glass door that is around our shower.<p>

I groan to myself and turn off the running water. I push open the door fully and step onto the tiled floor. I grab my towel from the rack next to me and wrap it around me. I quickly half dry my body and then pull a smaller towel off the rack and rub it over my hair, partially drying it.

I carefully move out of the bathroom, dripping water off my body and hair. I slip going halfway down the hall, but I catch myself against the wall. I attempt to blow a strand of wet hair that has plastered itself against my face out of the way, but it doesn't budge.

I growl, annoyed, and push it away with my hand. "Thanks for the help Peeta." I hiss to myself and half-slide into the nursery where Willow is. When I look down into her crib. She is on her side, waving her arms around, her small mouth stretched out in a wail.

"Baby, shh." I whisper and lean down to pick her up. I stop when I realize I am partially soaked. My eyes travel around the room for something I could wrap her in. I grab her blanket and wrap it around her entire body so that only her face pokes out. I lift her into my arms and rock her back and forth.

Within seconds, she is quieted down and I smile. At least I haven't slipped. I take one step and feel my towel slipping off. "Ugg!" I half-shout, which sets Willow off again.

The towel slides off of my body and lands on the floor with a soft thud. "Shit!" I shout, not caring anymore. I hear footsteps bounding up the stairs. I freeze, praying that it's Peeta, and then kick my towel to the other side of the crib. I move quickly to the other side of the wooden structure, just in case it isn't him, so that I'm not showing everything.

The door swings open and I breathe a sigh of relief when two familiar blue eyes lock onto my face. His eyes travel to the towel laying across the floor next to me, still not close enough next to me to bend down and grab it, and then to me, hiding behind the crib, with a wrapped Willow in my arms.

I narrow my eyes and hiss, "Not one word."

He pauses and then begins laughing. "What the heck are you doing?"

"I was taking a shower," I explain as he walks over to me, leaning down to get the towel, "But then I heard Willow crying, so I called you, probably three times," I hand him Willow and wrap the towel around my bare body, "And when there was no answer, I came in here myself, wrapped Willow up so she wouldn't catch pneumonia, picked her up, and my towel fell." I sit down in the rocking chair next to me, only to jump up when I realize I'm still dripping.

He pats my arm, "I'm sorry, I was listening to music and didn't hear you. But I did hear you shouting when I turned it off."

I walk to the door, "Well, I am going to finish taking my shower, so you better stay with her."

* * *

><p>I lean down and kiss Willow's forehead softly, being carefully not to wake her up, "Love you, Willow." I whisper and turn on the baby monitor. When the green light turns on, I tiptoe out of the room.<p>

I quickly slip into our bedroom and let out a sigh of relief.

"Is she asleep?" Peeta asks from behind me.

I turn around and see him sitting on our bed, reading. "Yeah, she finally fell asleep after I sang to her a little. "I explain and point to the baby monitor, motioning for him to turn it on.

He does and then goes back to reading.

I glance at him and then walk over to my dresser, grabbing my pajamas. I disappear into the bathroom, quickly changing and then I walk back into the bedroom. I sit down on the bed next to him, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.

He must notice me looking at him, because he looks down at me and smiles, kissing my forehead. "I love you." He whispers.

I smile, "I love you, too," I look at the book, "What are you reading?" I ask, sitting up and lean against him, resting my head on his shoulder.

He shrugs, rocking my head, "Just an old book of my dad's."

I nod, "Oh," my voice is barely audible. I feel something nagging me in the back of my head, so I just say it, "Do you ever wish that you could go back in time?" I look down at my fingers when he looks at me, confused, "I mean and make everything right." He still looks puzzled so I elaborate, "Like back to the Games," the word catches in my throat, "So that only you survived, or that the rebellion never started." I glance up at him and see him looking at me, his gaze hard.

I jump when I see his fingers curled around the sheets tightly, his knuckles almost white. He quickly clamps his eyes closed and leans back, breathing heavily.

"Peeta?" I ask, "Peeta, wake up!" My voice is getting shrill, "Peeta! It's not real!" I start to shake his body. "Peeta!" I push my hands against his chest, "Please…" my voice trails off and I feel tears welling up in my eyes. "Peeta…" I say, choked by tears.

His flashbacks always took their toll on him, as they did on me. I collapse on his chest, tears rolling silently down my cheeks.

I feel him shift slightly and then hear his breathing slow down somewhat. After a few moments he opens his eyes and then looks down at me. "Katniss, it's fine." He whispers, kissing my head. "Don't worry, it was a small one," he reassures me, "I'm fine, see?" He whispers and pulls my chin up with his fingers so that I'm looking into his slightly clouded blue eyes.

I sniffle and nod, "Okay," I bury my face in his chest and just breath in his scent.

"It's okay." He whispers and runs his hand down my back, calming me down.

"I know," I say quietly, "I just get scared when you have your flashbacks," I take a deep breath, "I always get scared that if you close your eyes like that," I feel my throat closing up, "They might never open again." I take another deep breath, trying to compose myself, but fail miserably.

"Shh," he whispers, "Don't worry, I'll be fine, I promise," He keeps rubbing his hand up and down my back rhythmically, "I would never leave you and Willow." He kisses my head again, "Never."

I take a slow, deep breath and swallow. I rest my head against the head board and look over at Peeta, who is watching me, concerned. I quickly compose myself and smile halfheartedly at him, "I'm fine." I say.

He looks at me skeptically, "Are you sure?"

I nod, "Promise." I take another deep breath and kiss him, quickly.

He pauses, and then sets his book down on the bedside table. He glances at the baby monitor, only to hear Willow's subtle breathing.

I look at him, confused. "Wha…" My voice is cut off when his mouth covers my own. I pause for a second. I quickly pull off of him and look at him suspiciously, "What?"

He smiles, "You need something to distract you, and you denied me this the other night, if you do it a second time then I'll be offended."

I laugh and kiss him, pulling him down onto me. I feel his lips curve into a smile as I wrap my legs around his hips. My fingers pull the hem of his t-shirt up towards our connected lips. He quickly pulls away and removes his shirt, revealing his sculpted muscles. The faint scars glow unnaturally in the faint light.

I pull my own shirt off and pull him back down, pressing my lips against his. I run my foot down his real leg and then let the other one drop to the bed. I dig my fingers into his ashen blonde hair.

He extracts his lips from mine and presses them into the crook of my neck. His hands roam dangerously low on my waist, playing with the waistband of my pants.

I move my hands down and place them on top of his, pushing the waistband down slightly. He takes the message and pushes them down far enough so that I am able to kick them off. They land somewhere on the floor.

He begins to remove his shorts until he can't bend down anymore.

I push them down the rest of the way with my feet. They land on the edge of the bed. I wrap my hand around my back and unbuckle my bra. I easily pull it off and toss it off the side of the bed, not caring where it lands.

Peeta begins to move his lips dangerously low. When they reach my collarbone, he stops and then kicks off his boxers.

I take off my own underwear and then press my bare body to his, kissing him passionately. I open my mouth and wrap my legs around his hips again. When I press myself against his erection, he lets out a deep groan and moves his hands against my waist, pulling it against his own.

I let out a loud sound of pleasure and bury my face into his chest.

He easily begins to kiss down my neck. He pauses at my collarbone and lets his tongue graze my skin. When I let out a sound of satisfaction, I feel him smile against my skin. He continues kissing down my chest. When he passes my breasts with barely a lick, I know what is coming.

When he reaches my naval, he pushes his hands against the sides of my thighs and then keeps going. Once his mouth makes contact with my heat, I gasp loudly and let my head falls back against the bed. My fingers curl tightly around the sheets. His tongue slips into me and I let out a half-scream, pleasure over–whelming me.

Peeta's face immediately flies up and he stares at me, "Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yes!" I shout and feel my breathing getting heavier with lust.

"Are you sure? Because sometimes screams like that can be misconstrued!" He says.

"Yes! Positive, don't stop!" I dig my fingers into his hair and gasp when he continues.

After another moment, his lips removed themselves from me and begin to work themselves up my stomach. His hands runs over the only ticklish spot on my entire body, right above my left hip.

I let out a soft laugh which quickly morphs into a groan when he pushes his lips against my breast.

Our lips connect immediately when they are close enough and we push our mouths forcefully against each other.

He must finally give into his body because he positions his tip at my entrance. He pushes himself into me and we both let out loud groans.

His hips begin pumping, slow at first, but then faster and faster.

I bucks my hips against his and slowly gain rhythm with him.

I feel myself getting closer and closer until finally with a gasp I feel myself empty.

Within seconds he curls his arms around me and climaxes, releasing himself into me.

I collapse back onto the bed, breathing heavily. Peeta lays down next to me and kisses my forehead. "Nope, I'd never leave." He whispers.

* * *

><p>"I love you, sweetie." I whisper and kiss Willow's forehead. She is happily eating. I tried to stay strong and make her wait until two hours had passed from her last feeding, but I couldn't. She had started to whine and I couldn't stand hearing her upset.<p>

Peeta had left earlier to go to the bakery so I was alone. After a few moments, I sigh and turn on the TV. I flick through the channels quickly.

After a few moments, Willow's steady sucking slows down and I see her eyes are shut. I carefully remove her from my breast and slide my shirt back on. My eyes lock onto her baby pillow sitting on the other couch and chew on my lower lip.

I slowly stand up. My knees barely move as I try to stand up a little bit straighter. I move over to the couch very slowly. Once I am close enough to the pillow to sit down, I slowly inch my way down. As soon as I feel my back lean against the couch, I begin to lay Willow into her pillow.

I am about to remove my hands from underneath her when there is a loud knock on the door.

I gasp and look down at Willow, terrified that she woke up from it. I am surprised to see her eyes still closed. I take a deep breath and slowly remove my hands from below her. I stand up slowly and take a few cautious steps back until I quietly run across the room in an awkward-tip-toe way.

I pull open the door with my finger over my mouth to signal whoever it is to stay quiet. I stop when I see it's Haymitch. "What?" I hiss.

"I came to say I'm sorry." He says, as if I wasn't motioning for him to be quiet.

"Quiet!" I shush, "The baby is sleeping in the living room."

He nods and then lowers his voice, "I really am sorry though, for both things I did." He takes a deep breath and then looks up at me, "I am just so used to be taking care of both of you that it was strange to see that you don't need me to protect you anymore."

I look into his eyes. Those grey Seam eyes with the bags underneath them and sorrow pooling inside of them. I know he means it. "It's okay, Haymitch, it's okay." I whisper.

"And about when you kicked me out…" His voice trails off, "It was out of line for me to come here."

I try to disagree with him, reassure him that he was drunk and wasn't aware, but I can't, "Haymitch, we have a family now and I don't want to risk my baby getting hurt because you're drunk."

He nods, solemnly and takes a deep breath, as if about to say something, but I cut him off, "And I'd be appreciative if you didn't come around as much for a little while," I feel my voice crack with emotion, "My daughter is the most important thing to me and I can't let her get hurt." I feel tears well up in my eyes, so I carefully remove my hand from the door jamb and close the door quietly, shutting Haymitch out.

* * *

><p><strong>HEY! So what did y'all think? Shocking correct? xD Yeah it was, I was surprised with myself lol. Anyway, I just want to tell all of you now, I am starting work again and won't be on as much anymore, but I will be u[dating every Sunday afternoonnight. At least I'll try. So if I miss a week please understand that I have a family and a job and they require everything that I have. Thank you all so much for understanding and I am truly appreciative of all the support you are giving me with this fic. It gives me encouragement that I am a good writer, and maybe one day I'll actually be able to publish my own works that I created. Once again, thank you all so much, and please review ;)**

**With love,**

**Amber**


	16. Chapter 16

**READERS! HEY! It's been two weeks…waaay too long lol. Anyway, sorry, because two weeks ago I was in Maryland and last weekend I was at Monmouth with some friends. It was crazy, then I went to a Phillies game on Sunday, which they lost miserably, thankfully xD Anyway, I just want to apologize in advance for any large gaps between updates, I love you all and such, but things are crazy and I have less free time now. But I'll try as hard as I possibly can to update every weekend. Anyway, so here's what you've been asking for-Chapter 16!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

* * *

><p>"Peeta!" I shout, I hear his feet moving from the study through the hallway and into the kitchen where I am sitting at the table with Willow next to me in her rocker.<p>

"Yeah?" He asks, his head poking through the doorway.

I glance up at him and then jerk my chin towards the oven, where Peeta has a rare salmon cooking inside. "You told me to call you in half an hour, my job is done," I wink.

He smiles and walks over to the oven, pulling out the tray.

The steaming fish's scent floods my nose and actually makes my mouth water. "Oh, God, that smells amazing."

His places the metal platter on the counter and waves his oven mitt over the roasting food. I watch carefully, with my head in my hands, as he so easily decorates two plates and slides the salmon onto a serving tray.

I move Willow to the seat next to me and fasten the buckles underneath the chair, ensuring that she doesn't fly off the chair or something while we're eating.

"You want to eat now, or wait?" Peeta asks, opening the cabinet and pulling out two wineglasses.

I pause, close my eyes and think about whether I'm hungry. Once the smell of the salmon fills my nostrils, I hear my stomach rumble, "Now," I say, smiling.

"That's what I thought." He says, playfully. He places the platter with the main course in the center of the table. His hand releases the white china plate in front of my as he places one of the crystal wine glasses in front of me.

He does the same for himself and then pulls open the drawer containing the silverware and carefully places a knife and fork on either side of our plates. He pauses, as if thinking if he missed anything, and then opens the fridge, pulling out the wine.

I smile as he holds it out to me, "Acceptable?"

"Most definitely," I glance down at Willow who has fallen asleep in her seat.

He grabs the bottle opener and then pops open the bottle, pulling out the cork. He pours the red liquid into the sparkling cone of my glass and then does the same to his.

Peeta pauses for a moment, and then looks at me, "Close your eyes for a second."

I look up at him puzzled and then comply, "Okay." I cover my eyes and then listen closely to hear what he is doing.

After a few moments, he kisses my forehead and then whispers in my ear, "Open your eyes." I gasp softly and smile. He turned down the lights and set two lit candles on either side of the platter holding the salmon.

When I look down I see a single white lily sitting on my plate. I pick up the delicate flower and take a slow sniff of its fragrant blossom. "Amazing," I whisper and kiss him softly.

He slowly walks around the table, carefully avoiding Willow's seat, and then sits down across from me.

My hands had just moved to the salmon when there is a loud knock on the door. I jump and then smack my head against the back of my chair. "Shit," I hiss and rub my skull.

Peeta sighs and sets his fork down. He walks out of the door.

I hear his footsteps approaching the door. The telltale click of the doorknob reaches my ears and I know he opened the door.

There is a pause and then I hear her voice, "Peeta! Don't be so shocked that I'm here!" Johanna practically shouts, jarring Willow from her slumber.

Her small mouth immediately opens in a loud cry.

I groan and smack my hand on my forehead. My hands quickly wrap around Willow, supporting her head. I rock her back and forth slowly and whisper in her ear. "Shh, baby, it's okay," I murmur and kiss the top of her head.

She lets out a small cough and begins bobbing her head back and forth.

I smile and then glance up when I see Johanna and Peeta walk in. Johanna immediately descends on me and practically shouts in m face, "Katniss! It's been so long!" She grabs my right arm in her iron grasp.

Peeta clears his throat and then steps up next to me, "Johanna, this is Willow." He says, attempting to pull her attention away from cutting the circulation from my lower arm.

Johanna glances at him and then at the food on the table, "Oh, God! This looks amazing!" She leans down and takes a deep whiff of the salmon in the center of the table. She seems to finally see the candles and the flower and her face shows that she is registering what was happening. "Oh! Were you two having a romantic dinner?" She asks.

Peeta lets out a sigh of relief and smiles, "Yes..."

"Well, since Willow woke up, I guess me coming doesn't matter!" She sits down at the seat next to me and grins broadly, knowing that we won't object.

Peeta coughs and then sighs, "Perfect, two salmons on three plates," He mumbles and then walks over to the counter. "This outta be good." I hear him say so quietly, I can barely hear him.

_Yup,_ I think, _It will be. _

* * *

><p>"Here is the soap and shampoo and all that crap." I explain to Johanna, who asked to take a shower after she ate the majority of our dinner.<p>

She shrugs, "Okay, I won't be too long." She says and then steps back, setting her clothes on the counter.

I turn away and mumble, "Take as long as you want."

"What?" She asks, "Speak up."

"Nothing," I say, shaking my head. "Just you can take as long as you want, we have endless hot water." I walk into the hallway and then push 0open the door to the nursery quietly, making sure Willow is still alseep.

When I am reassured by her quiet breathing, I close the door with a soft click. I let out a breath and then walk into our bedroom. I jump when I see Peeta standing next to the window.

He turns and smiles when he sees me, "You okay?"

I nod and slow down my heart rate by taking slow deep breaths, "I just thought you were downstairs and someone standing next to the open window freaked me out a little." I explain and then walk over to the bed, sitting down.

He nods and then sits down next to me. "That was...interesting." He says, referring to dinner.

I chew on my lower lip and then smile, "You bet it was," I quietly listen and hear the tell tale sound of water running from the abthroom down the hall, "But now, we have some time to ourselves," I whisper seductively and lean towards him.

He glances at me and then smiles, "Hmm, are you sure?"

I move closer to him and straddle his lap with my legs, "I showed ehr where she's staying, so we should be uninterrupted the entire night."

His mouth stretches into a smile and he wraps his arms around my waist. "Well, then.." his whisper trails off and he presses his lips agaisnt mine.

I move my arms from my lap to around the back of his neck. I lean agaisnt him, pushing him down onto the bed. I give him a second to settle on the matress while I pull off my shirt and then balance on my forearms.

His hands move down my back and then push my sweatpants off of my hips and down my thighs. Once the pants slide off the edge of the bed, I move my lips to the crook of his neck, pressing my lips against his tender skin.

He groans when I press my legs down against his groin. I smiles against his neck and then reach my hand around the back of my head and pull my hair-tie out of my long dark hair, letting it fall in a curtain around our faces.

My deft fingers pull the hem of his shirt up to right below his chest and then push itup around his neck where he pulls it off and tosses it off the side of the bed. I remove my lips from his neck and press them against his partially opened mouth.

I slowly move my hands down his lean stomach and unbutton his jeans, pushing them down his thighs and use my foot to get them over his prothstetic calf and regular leg. My heel grazes the cool metal and sends a slow shiver up my spine.

His hands slide up my back and rest against the back of my neck. He extracts his lips from mine and presses them against my soft skin below my jaw. Warmth radiates from his mouth as he lets his lips slide lower and lower until they reach my collar bone.

I gasp and feel my heart rate quicken.

I feel his mouth turn into a smile against my skin as his hands begin to press against the hem of my underwear. I pause for a second and then push myself against his erection ever so slightly, which extracts a pleasing groan.

His lips pulls themselves off my my skin as he looks up at me. He smiles and then pulls me down on top of my so our almost bare bodies are pressed heavily against each other in every way possible. Without any form of communication, we both move and press our lips together, letting my long hair hide our faces.

This whole scenario was perfect. We were uninterrupted, I could hear Willow's quiet breathing and neither of us is tired in any way. This is perfect, we are perfect. The one thing I didn't account for though, is my brain tuning out on whether the shower was still running. And even if it was, I wouldn't have thought anything of it, thinking Johanna would just go straight to bed.

Oh how wrong I was.

The soft click of the door knob reaches my ears too late for any sort of prevention, even if I had tried to move, I doubt I would have in time since Peeta has me in an iron grip.

"Katniss, I didn't..." Johanna's voice echos throughout our silent room.

I half-gasp, half-shreik when she enters our room. Both Peeta and I jump so much that I actually fly off the side of the bed, extracting a high pitched squeal, landing on my back with a loud _thud_.

"Holy shit!" Johanna shouts and slams her hand over her eyes and drops te towel in her hands onto the ground.

Peeta rolls over to the edge of the bed and ducks his head down, "Katniss are you okay?" His voice is shaking with embarassment and his face is so red, I would be alarmed in different circumstances.

I take a deep breath and nod, feeling around on the floor blindly for some article of clothing. My fingers clasp around a piece of fabric, so I pull it up to my eyes. I groan when I see it is one of my lace slips that I must have left on the floor.

"Oh, God, I am so sorry," Johanna stammers. I hear her attempt to step back, but she must slam into the doorframe because she immediately hisses, "Shit."

I grasp another piece of fabric and see it is one of Peeta's shirts, so I pull it on over my head. It is the perfect size, just ending at my mid-thigh.

I jump up, my face so hot that I feel myself fanning my face. "Oh, God, Johanna," I say, breathlessly. I bend down and grab Peeta jeans, throwing them in his genral direction and then loook at her face for the first time, she is just as red as we are and her hand is still over her eyes.

"I am so sorry, you don't even understand how sorry I am," her voice is stuttering.

I don't know what I thought she would do, but I am surprised when she just hands me the towel, explains that she is "So utterly and completely sorry," And exits the room, stumbling down the hall.

I push the door closed and clutch the towel in my hands. "That..." I begin, but my voice trails off.

"Yup, my thoughts exactly," Peeta says, his voice regaining it's usual steadiness.

I feel my heart beat slowing down as I turn around. I walk into the bathroom and toss the towel into the hamper. I take a deep breath and walk back into the bedroom.

Peeta is leaning back against the head board when I walk in. He looks up at me, his face slowing turning it's normal color again, "So, I am going to guess that after that, you're not going to be willing to just pick up where we left off?" He smiles and kicks off the uncomfortable jeans.

I smile and kiss his forehead, "Not a chance." I whisper in his ear. I lower myself into the bed next to him and teasingly push myself into the crook of his body.

He groans, but settles for just wrapping his arms around me, warding off nightmares from every direction.

* * *

><p>" 'Morning," I say, yawning as I walk into the kitchen.<p>

"Good morning, Mrs. Mellark." Peeta says and smiles, holding out a cup of coffee to me.

I take it gratefully and then sit at the table, positioning the baby monitor next to me. My lips wrap around the cool ceramic mug, allowing the bitter brown liquid to flood into my mouth. I really don't care for the taste, but the energy is more than welcome.

I clear my throat, "So what should we do when Johanna comes down?" I mutter low enough so only he can hear it, even though as far as I know, she is still alseep.

"Just act like nothing happened," He says in an equally low voice, but he adds a smile. He leans down and kisses my forehead, "It was nothing Katniss, really," He says, "It was bad at first, but now that I think about it, we had a bit of an overreaction."

I raise my eyebrows, "Overreaction for someone walking in on us about to...socialize?" I feel my mouth tilt upwards when I think of the word I used to describe what Peeta and I were doing when Haymitch had walked in on us the morning after we slept together for the first time. It seems like so long ago. Though technically, it was almost a year and a half ago.

He mirrors my smile and laughs softly, "Mhm, about to, but not quite," He sits down next to me, "It's not even like she saw anything, really, we were just kissing with the majority of our clothes off." He says. The way he explains it, it almost seems as if it was nothing, but I know better.

"However you slice it, I'm going to think it was bad, so don't even bother with me." I snap, but then sigh, "Here she comes." I say, hearing her footsteps in the upper-hallway.

Peeta just stands and pulls the pan filled with eggs off the stove top and sets it on the counter.

Johanna suddenly appears in the doorway and clears her throat, "Good morning," Her voice is normal, but she avoids our gaze. She shuffles into the kitchen and sits down across from me. When Peeta sets down a cup of coffee in front of her, she nods her thanks and takes a deep gulp of it.

I chew on the inside of my lip, "Johanna, come on, let's at least attempt to be nonchalant." I murmur.

She sighs and then shrugs, "Whatever," She glances up at me and then at Peeta, "I'm sorry again," She says.

"It's fine, really." I say and thank Peeta when he sets a plate of eggs before me. He does the same for Johanna and nods when she thanks him.

He sits down next to me and sets his own coffee and eggs in front of himself. "Well, now that we ahve all this awkwardness out of the way, let's just pretend nothing happened, okay?" He suggests and glances between us.

I nod, "All right, fine, nothing happened." I say.

Johanna nods and then spears a piece of her eggs into her mouth. "These are amazing, Peeta," She says and then takes another bite.

He nods, "Thank you, they're just scrambled eggs though," He smiles and takes a bite of his own.

I pull off a piece of the yellow food and take a bite. The taste floods my mouth as I chew. "Mmm, this is really good, Peeat." I say.

He smiles and kisses my cheek, "Why thank you, Katniss."

I blush softly and take a sip of my coffee.

There is a comfortable silence for a few moments untnil Johanna slams down her fork, "Look, I'm just going to come right out and say it, you two have probably never been on a proper date and I bet you've barely left the house since Willow was born, am I right, or am I right?"

I am taken aback, but I answer, "Right,"

"Well, I am willing to stay here for the night and stay with Willow and let you two actually go out and be the teenagers you are. You won't be eighteen forever." She looks both of us straight in the eye.

I glance at Peeta who seems to be contemplating the idea.

"You can go out to dinner, come back at two in the morning, sleep together five times for all I care, knock yourselves out." She says.

I gnaw on my lips and then think about it. "What about feeding?" Use one of those pump things, you have to have one." She says.

I nod, "There is extra milk in the freezer, just heat it up..." My voice trails off, "Do you know how to change a diaper?"

"I'm a fast learner." She quips.

I look over at Peeta, "It could be fun..." his voice trails off, making sure I am okay with it.

I take a deep breath, "Fine."

* * *

><p>Ten hours of coaching later, Peeta and I are standing at the door in our casually nice clothes, going out to eat with Johanna standing at the door, Willow perched in her arms, babbling away.<p>

I tug on the jeans that hug my legs uncomfortably that Johanna found at the bottom of my drawers and forced me in to. She also gave me a loose black shirt to wear with a gold necklace. I told her that this was all too much, but she ignored me saying, "COme on, this will be the only time you two eevr go on a legit date, so make it count."

She also picked out Peeta's jeans, which I have never seen him wear and a grey t-shirt. He shuffles in the shoes she practically threw at his face.

"Now that you two look presentable, go have fun!" She smirks and steps back.

"Remember to warm up the bottles to the right temperature, and she needs at least one blanket if you turn on the AC," I explain quickly.

"Yeah, yeah!" Johanna says, a wide grin on her face as she begins closing the door.

"And remember that she can't sit up on her own yet, so always support her head!" I get in just before she says, "Bye!" and slams the door in our faces.

I turn to face Peeta and look up at him, "So..." My voice trails off.

"Ready?" He asks and holds out his arm.

I smile and lace my own through his, leaning against him. "Ready," I say.

We wind our way up the road until we reach a large building with all the lights on and people milling about inside. I didn't realize how many people had come back to District Twelve until now, because the room is almost packed.

Peeta and I stand, arm-in-arm, waiting for the hostess to seat us.

The young woman who looks to be about Johanna's age, raises her eyebrows when she sees us, but doesn't make a fuss. "Two?" When we nod, she grabs two menus and nods, "This way."

We follow her through the groups of people until we reach a quiet table away from everyone, "So you have some privacy." She winks and sets the menus down in front of us.

I smile my thanks and sit down in the chair across from Peeta.

We both open our menus and read through them. "I've never done this," I say, clearing my throat.

Peeta glances up at me from over the menu and smiles,"It's easy, I promise."

I nod and then read through the list of foods avaliable. "Hmmm..." I finally settle on chicken salad and wait for the waitress to come.

A different woman comes to our table and asks what we would liek to drink. "Water, please." I say and glance at Peeta.

"Katniss, live a little." He says, smiling, "I'll have your finest wine." He winks at me.

I surpress a smile, but alow the edges of my mouth to tilt up slightly, "Fine, I'll have the same."

The woman nods and then glances at the menus, "Are you ready to order your meal?"

I nod, "Peeta?" He nods as well, so I order, "I'll have the grilled chicken salad."

The woman nods and writes it down, then looks up at Peeta, seemingly unfazed by our presence. "I'll have a medium rare steak." he says and hands her his menu. I do the same and reach across the table, wriggling my cool hand into his warm one.

The rest of our time at the resteraunt passes by in a flurry of food and too much wine. Enough that as we walk out, I stumble and giggle uncontrolably.

Peeta grasps my hand firmly and helps me, "Katniss, I think you had a little too much to drink." He says, wrapping his arms around my shoulders.

"Don't be silly!" I trill in a voice sounding a little too much like Effie's. "I'm perfectly fine!" Just to prove it, I pull myself out of his grasp and begin walking down the sidewalk.

Within feet, I stumble and smack into a streetlight. I almost fall backwards, but Peeta ctahces me and whispers in my ear, "Yup, perfectly fine." He wraps his strong arms around my waist from behind to steady me. "Are you okay?" He asks, lowering me down onto a bench in a seemingly random place.

I laugh a little too loudly and slap my hand onto his left thigh, "I am just dandy!" But, when I try standing, I immediately fall back onto the bench, letting out a gasp. "Ouch!" I squeal and rub my back where it hit the bench a little harder than expected.

I giggle again and bury my gface into Peeta's chest. "God, I feel so...great!" I let out another loud laugh and throw my head back.

Peeta smiles and rubs my back, "Katniss, seriously, you're drunk."

I shake my head quickly, "No! I am not! I only had...water!" I have another laughing fit and fall into his lap.

"Come on let's go home." Peeta says and helps me up.

"No!" I say slowly, pulling my wrist out of his grasp, "I want to stay here!" I stumble backwards and then take a shaking step towards him.

"Katniss, seriously, I will carry you back if you won't walk." He looks at me.

"God, Peeta," I say, disolving into giggles, "I wish you would carry me home."

He laughs softly and lifts me into his steady arms. "Come on, Mrs. Mellark, time to get you into bed."

As we walk down the sidewalk, we get some odd looks, but I barely notice because I am too busy laughing at some of the randomest things. I throw my head back guffawing, or I giggle, something I feel like only Effie would do.

"Seriously, Katniss, you're making me laugh too much, stop before I drop you." Peeta says, a smile on his face. "I never pictured you ever doing this sort of thing."

I bat at his face playfully and laugh, "Then...you dun't knooow mee!" I squeal, pulling out each syllable. The affects of the alcohol are beginning to take their toll.

Once we walk up to the path to Victor's Village, I see our house and crack up.

"What?" Peeta asks, smiling.

"That's where we live." I bury my face in his chest, cracking up as he opens the door with his keys. He pushes the heavy door open with his foot and carries me up the stairs.

Johanna must be there, because Peeta explains, "Too much wine."

We disappear into our bedroom.

Peeta slides the necklace off over my head and takes off my shoes. He tosses the shoes onto the ground and sets the necklace on our nightstand. His hands pull off the tight jeans a slide on a pair of sweat pants. He doesn't bother with the shirt, because I have my arms wrapped around myelf. He just pulls the clip out of my hair and kisses me on the forehead, "Good night, Katniss, I love you," He whispers. And then the whole world disappears as I fall asleep.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, after having slept off my wonderful hangover, Peeta is upstairs and Johanna is out back doing something that she said wasn't important.<p>

I hear the phone ringing, but I have Willow nestled in my arms, happily eating. I had already disrupted her once, and didn't want to put her off her food. So in my loudest voice, I called out to Peeta, "Peeta!" I shout. I pause, and then call out aagin, "Peeta! Phone!"

I hear him footsteps bound down the stairs. "Got it!" He shouts and grabs the phone. "Mellark residence, Peeta Mellark speaking."

I laugh at his greeting and then wrinkle my nose playfully when he sticks his tongue out at me.

His face suddenly turns a ghostly white. "Yes, yes..." his voice is serious as he talks.

I stop smiling and watch Peeta closely. When he hangs up the phone, his face a mixture of shock,surprise and sorrow. "What? What?" I plead.

"Katniss, it's Haymitch, something's happened."

* * *

><p><strong>OH SHIT! WHAT HAS AMBER DONE NOW? xD You'll just have to wait and seeeeee next week! xD Sorry this update is so late today, it was meant for earlier, but we went to a Celtic Classic thing near us. If you've ever heard of it, it's in Bethlehem, PA. It was crazy, my fiancee's car broke down, and things were just insane. We didn't egt home till 7 ish and even then, I only have 1,000 words. Well, guess what? Now I have over 5,000 and it's only 9:11. Crazy right? xD Well I had fun writing it! Well, I better go now, Graham is getting super fussy, I think he wants to eat xD Not that any of you care lol. Anyway, if any of you register on Panem October, I am 'TheHungerGamer' if we can add once the thing actually airs. And sorry for any typos, I had to use FF to write most of this chapter because my laptop wouldn't open word. So sorry xD Anyway, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>

**With love, **

**Amber**


	17. Chapter 17

**Ah, dear readers, the comments really lifted up a not so hot day today(Thursday) my boss was kinda pissing me off with the way he was treating one of our Hispanic grooms. Luckily, you're lovely writer here is bilingual and was able to calm him down. Sometimes we Americans really think we are better than everyone, and it makes me so mad. Anyway, I'm kinda pissed because I refuse to create a Twitter or Facebook because people could stalk me on them, but I can't access the Capitol site :P Ams is NOT happy about that at all. But anyway, I just wanted to update y'all on my mood XDDD Anyway, without anymore words you won't read, Chapter 17!(Such a big number for the writer, who has invested her heart and soul into this ;)) **

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

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><p>Once when I was younger, my father took me to the lake like he had millions of times, but when I got into the water, I bumped my head against one of the rocks on the side and started to sink under water. I felt as if I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, as if I was no longer human.<p>

That feeling is similar to the one I am feeling right now as Peeta's words sink in. There is something wrong with Haymitch. Something terribly wrong.

The questions stream through my mind, Was it because of me? Did I cause this? No, it couldn't have been me…could it have? No, I'm being crazy…

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice breaks through my mind.

"What's wrong?" The words fly out of my mouth.

"I have no idea, the nurse just said to come to the hospital as soon as we could." His face is filled with worry, "Do you want to go?" He asks.

I nod quickly, "Of course, but what about Willow?" My head flies through possibilities until I hear footsteps approaching us.

"Hey, is there anything decent to eat?" Johanna asks and plops down on the couch next to me. She glances between the two of us, just noticing our faces, "What's wrong?"

"Something's happened to Haymitch." I say, my voice barely audible. An idea pops into my head, "Johanna, could you please watch Willow while Peeta and I go and see what's wrong with Haymitch?" I look into her eyes hopefully.

She pauses for a second and then nods, "Sure, take as long as you need." She sits down next to me and waits for me to pull Willow off.

I hand her off to Johanna and fix my shirt. "Let's go." I say, looking up at Peeta.

He nods, reaching out for my hand, and we embark on the run towards the hospital.

We run through the doors breathless and aching. Peeta immediately walks up to the main desk where an older woman is perched, tapping away at her keyboard. Peeta leans over the desk and tries to catch the woman's attention.

After a second, she glances up at him, "Hello, sir, how may I help you?" She asks, a smile perfectly placed on her lips.

"Could you please give me the room of Haymitch Abernathy?" Peeta says, quickly.

I stand next to his side as the woman types something into the computer and then reaches below the next for something. She produces two passes and hands them to us, "Floor Twenty-five, room D16."

I snatch the passes and let Peeta pull me over to the elevators. Once the doors close behind us, I feel my chest tightening. The sensation of rising reminds me too much of being lifted into the arena. The same reason I almost never used elevators in 13.

I close my eyes and lean against Peeta for support. I feel his body is tense as well. I chew on the inside of my mouth until the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth.

The doors finally slide open after what feels like an eternity and both Peeta and I jump out and look down either hallway. Towards the right, the doors are numbered D50 and up, to our left, D49 and lower await.

We rush down the antiseptic corridor and look at each door, watching the numbers slowly get lower. Once D16 appears down the hall, I break into a run with Peeta close at my heels.

We push into the room and I feel my heart stop beating when I see him.

Haymitch is hooked up to an army of machines, each making different sounds. His face is a ghostly white and his eyes are closed. His chest is moving up and down in quick, shallow breaths.

I feel myself release a cross between a gasp and a sob. I hear someone come in behind us as I rush forwards and grab his freezing cold hand in mine. I press his cool fingers against my cheek and kneel down next to the hospital bed.

"Haymitch…" I whisper and look at his almost lifeless face.

"What's wrong with him?" Peeta asks whoever came in behind us.

A woman's voice responds, "He was found by a woman named Sae in his house. He was unconscious," She explains and moves next to me, "We believe that he is in a hepatic coma."

"Which is?" Peeta asks, his voice getting an irritated tone to it.

"It is a coma induced by liver failure, usually caused by heavy drinking over a long period of time." She clarifies, calmly.

"Will he survive?" I demand, looking up at her. She looks to be in her mid-forties. She slightly reminds me of Beetee.

"Previously, only about 35% of people lived five years after being diagnosed with cirrhosis, which is what we believe is the cause of this whole situation," says the doctor, "but since we have advanced in medicine so much in past years, he has about a 50% survival rate with a specific diet and medications."

"So he has a chance?" I whisper, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"Yes, he does have a chance, but only if he wakes up within the month, usually if patients in a hepatic coma don't wake up by that time, they don't wake up at all." She says the last part gently

I look at Haymitch, the man who at all costs, kept me and Peeta alive. We are the closest thing to children he has ever had and now he's dying.

"Please do everything you can to help him live," I whisper, my own tears choking me, "Please…"

She looks at my face closely and then nods, "I will," She says softly, her voice cracking slightly, "Please excuse me." She steps out of the room, leaving Peeta, Haymitch and I.

"Haymitch," I whisper, "Just wake up," My voice is so filled with emotion, I choke on a sob. "We need you, I was stupid to push you away, we really, really need you." I chew on my lip, causing even more blood to well up inside my mouth.

Peeta's hands rest on my shoulders, "Katniss, are you okay?" He murmurs.

I look up at Haymitch, who right now, is dead to the world, and shake my head, "No, Peeta," I whisper, "No, I'm not." I feel a sob building up in my check, so I release Haymitch's hand and turn around, jumping into Peeta's arms.

I bury my face into his strong chest and let myself fall apart. I break down sobbing, allowing him to hold me up. His hand moves soothingly around my back.

"Shh, It's okay." He murmurs and buries his face in my hair, "It's okay…" He whispers, his voice muffled slightly.

'What if he doesn't survive?" I say, gasping through each sob.

"He will, Katniss, do you really think he won't survive, it is Haymitch we're talking about," He whispers, "He is stubborn the boot, he won't die on us."

I let myself smile a little bit, "That's true," I whisper softly.

"So don't worry, he'll get better, I promise."

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><p>Each day either Peeta or I go to the hospital and visit Haymitch. We talk to him, tell him what is going on at home, around town, everything. There is never any response, but there are times I feel as though he is there, really there.<p>

One day I walk into the hospital room and his eyes are actually open, but when I rush to get the nurse, she just says that it is normal for coma patients to open their eyes, even laugh at random points, but until there is a notification from one of the dozens of machines monitoring his every breath.

I feel my heart drop into my stomach at the response, "Okay, thank you," I whisper and return to his room. I sit in the chair I have permanently placed next to his bed. I take his hand in mine again and begin talking soothingly.

"It's kind of crazy that we haven't had a real conversation in almost a month. And that you haven't talked for almost a week. I miss your sarcastic comments," I whisper, "I miss the way you always call me sweetheart, I miss the way you curse Buttercup out even though it's you that tripped over him, I miss the way you look at me, I miss the way you talk to me, and most of all, I just miss just hearing your voice." I murmur, my voice about to give way.

"I want you to come back, and you can come over whenever you want, just as long as you knock, and I want you to see Willow grow up, I want you to be there to make her stronger, I want you to tell her everything about Peeta and me behind our backs, even though I'll be mad for a little, I just want you to live, Haymitch." I run my fingers down the back of his hand.

I jump when I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, "Mrs. Mellark, visiting hours are over now." The nurse says softly and ushers me out. I just stand outside the hospital for a moment until I begin the trek home.

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><p>The shrill sound of the phone rings out through the house. I jump up from the sofa and grab it, "Hello?" I say into the phone.<p>

"Hello, is this Katniss Mellark?" A woman's voice asks.

"This is she." I say, picking at my finger nails.

"I have been told to inform you that a Mr. Haymitch Abernathy will not be able to take visitors tomorrow, doctors are doing tests on him." She informs me.

I feel my heart sink, "All right, thank you." I hang up the phone. I had begun to enjoy my visits with Haymitch, it allowed me to talk to him and tell him everything that was going on.

"Peeta!" I shout, setting the phone down.

His head pokes out of the study down the hall, "No need to shout, love, what's up?" He asks.

"Haymitch can't have visitors tomorrow, they're doing more tests." I explain.

He nods and then walks up to me, "Johanna offered to go get us food, so I took advantage of her giving mood and let her go do the food shopping," he says, winking.

I laugh softly, "Of course you did." I yawn and walk back into the living room, sitting down on the couch.

He follows me and sits down next to me.

I grab the remote and turn on the TV. I flick through the channels until I settle on a re-run of Plutarch's singing show. I curl up slightly closer to Peeta than I intended and tuck my feet underneath my body.

Peeta's arm automatically wrap around me and pull me closer to him. When I shift away from him slightly, his body tenses and his arm moves to his side.

About half way through, Johanna returns. She walks into the kitchen and puts the food away. When she walks into the living room and sees us sitting so awkwardly, she just shakes her head and walks down the hallway.

I furrow my brow and then just sigh, leaning back against the couch, watching the show, until I feel Peeta's hands moving in slow, rhythmic movements around my back.

I jump slightly and move away from him. I hear him let out a sigh and then stand, walking out of the living room.

I pause for a moment, thinking about calling him back in, telling him I am just on edge with Haymitch, but I don't. I don't know why, but I just don't.

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><p>"What are you doing?" Peeta asks as he walks into the kitchen.<p>

"Nothing," I say, and continue cutting up the tomato in my hand.

Johanna clears her throat behind us, "She's making me a sandwich, it isn't that difficult to say, Katniss."

I glance back at her for a second, and then just shrug, "Whatever." I set the tomato slices on two slices of bread and layer some expensive butcher meat on the inside.

I realize I am slightly irritated that Peeta is buying meat instead of just letting me go out and hunt for it. I know I had a nervous breakdown last time in the woods, but I could just try and get over that with time.

I turn and face him, my head high, "Peeta, don't buy this butcher meat anymore, I could just go hunt, I need something to do sometimes." I set the plate down in front of Johanna and stare at Peeta, who has a slightly shocked look on his face.

"I didn't think you wanted to go back into the woods after…" His voice trails off and he looks up at me.

I narrow my eyes, "Peeta, please, I'm fine going into the woods," I turn and begin rinsing off the knife I was using in the sink.

Johanna clears her throat, "This meat tastes fine…" She mumbles.

"Fine, Katniss, you can hunt for the meat from now on," He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

I feel my chest tighten up slightly, so I turn my head slightly, "Peeta, please.." I whisper and unclasp his hands from in front of me.

I feel the heat from his body move away from me. I let out an inward sigh and turn to face him, "Thanks," I give him a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Mhm…" He whispers softly and holds up his hand in a _No Problem_ gesture.

When I look up at Johanna, she is staring at me with distain in her eyes. _What?_ I mouth.

She just shakes her head and goes back to eating.

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><p>I glance over at Johanna who is impatiently flipping through a magazine that she brought with her. I look back down at Willow who I have in my arms. She lets out a squawk and giggles, waving her arms around.<p>

I smile and set her down on the sofa and press lightly against her stomach, "What? What's so funny, silly girl?"

She responds with an open-mouthed, toothless smile and gurgles. Her deep blue eyes look right at my face as she starts making all of her different noises. After a moment, she looks down at her feet, which are pressed together tightly and moving around. She quickly becomes transfixed with them and watched them move intently.

I laugh and kiss her forehead. She pushes her hands together and giggles.

"God!" Johanna shouts and throws her magazine down on the floor.

I turn and look at her, then down at the magazine, "Are you gonna pick that up?"

"Do you realize how boring you and Peeta are for a Goddamn married couple?" She half-shouts.

"If you could just pick…"

"You two have no love life for two 19 year-olds! God!" She interrupts me and smacks her fist down on the couch.

I chew on my lip and look down at the magazine, "Could you just pick that up?" I say.

She narrows her eyes, "This is exactly what I mean, we're sitting here talking about your sex life…"

"_You're _talking about our sex life," I point out.

"Are you're worried about a fucking magazine!" She falls back onto the couch and grabs a pillow. She covers her face with it and screams.

I raise my eyebrows, "Why do you care about whether Peeta and I sleep together, anyway?" I ask her, genuinely curious.

"Because! You're married! You're young! You deserve to actually have a life!" She snaps.

I pause, "You care about us!" I mock-gasp and pick up Willow.

"Pfft, in your dreams." She rolls her eyes and grabs the magazine off the floor.

"Yes, you do!" I say and laugh, "Johanna Mason actually cares!" Willow squeals in response.

"So what if I do?" She growls and looks at me menacingly, "I just don't want you two to take everything so seriously and then realize you missed out on your entire lives, it is a mistake." She looks me straight in the eye.

I pause and then look down at my hands. "Thanks, Johanna." I murmur and then look back up at her, "Really, it means a lot to have someone looking out for us."

She nods, curtly, "Well, you better do something, because if you don't, I'll be pissed royally,"

I sigh, "Johanna, not now, with Haymitch and…" I begin

"Katniss!" She snaps, "Haymitch doesn't matter right now, he is safe and sound in the hospital, if anything happens, you'll be the first people they call, you moping around will do nothing for him!"

"Well, it's kind of hard to focus on anything else!" I shout.

"Do try!" She stands up and looks down at me, "You worry about everyone but yourselves! Now I'm not saying you should be a self-absorbed bitch or something, but at least make time for yourselves!"

"If you haven't noticed, I don't have time for myself! Even if I tried, I have dozens of things to do!" Willow promptly because wailing at all of the yelling. "Great! See what you've done?" I shout, knowing it wasn't only her, but I just want to let out my anger. I begin to walk out of the room when Johanna says something.

"Do you even understand how much you're hurting Peeta?" She shouts, "You're pushing him away from you for loving you! I don't care about Haymitch, you just need to know that you're breaking his heart in half!"

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><p>I lay in bed, just staring at the ceiling as Peeta draws something. Johanna's words still ring through my mind. <em>Do you even understand how much you're hurting Peeta? You just need to know you're breaking his heart in half!<em>

I think about how I've been acting lately, how I yelled at him for buying butcher meat, how I so readily hold him to stop hugging me, how I pulled away when he was just trying to love me.

I think of how Peeta has sacrificed almost everything for me, and how he'd still do anything and everything for me, no matter what. I begin to have a feeling creep over me, I don't realize what it is until it has overcome me. I am shocked at the deep, loathing hate I feel for myself.

How could I do this to the only person in this world who loves me unconditionally? The one person who would never do what I've just done to him the past week. I feel my chest tighten as tears well up in my eyes.

"Peeta?" I whisper, the pain evident in my voice.

"Hmm?" When he sees my face, he immediately puts down the pencil and paper and sits up. "Katniss, what's wrong?" His face in filled with concern.

"I am a terrible person," I murmur.

"What?" He says, moving closer to me, "You are not a terrible person!" He begins to move his arm to wrap it around me, but stops and awkwardly brushes something off of the headboard.

"See?" I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion, "I've made it impossible for you to think you can hug me…" I feel a single tear slide from my eyelid and rolls down my cheek.

"Katniss," Peeta whispers and moves closer to me, "Why do you think that?" He murmurs.

"Because it's true!" I say, tears silently falling down my face. "I have been pushing you away since Haymitch ended up in the hospital, and I hate myself for it," I look up at him to see a tear sliding down his face. "See?" I choke out, "I can't stop hurting you!" I back away from him until my back hits the headboard. "I am terrible to you, Peeta! I don't deserve you in any way!"

"Katniss…" He begins.

"No!" I say, my voice shaking, "I know that sometimes I pull away, I push people away, it's just what I do, Peeta, I push people away, I am pushing you away," I look up at his face and see how full of pain it is.

"Katniss, I understand that sometimes you need your space, and even though I always manage to look wounded when you pull away, I get it, I promise I do."

"Peeta, it's not your fault, it is totally mine, I sometimes still feel like I'm too hard on you for things that you didn't mean to do," I take a deep breath, "I put too much weight on your shoulders and rely on you too much," I shift closer to him.

"Katniss, I'm your husband, you're allowed to rely on me," He looks into my eyes and reaches out slowly for my hands. When I don't pull away, her intertwines our fingers and gives my had a soft, reassuring squeeze.

"Yeah, but," I take a deep breath to slow down the tears, "I need to remember that you're not perfect either, and I can't always expect you to be."

Peeta glances at the bed and then back up at me, "Katniss, you don't need to push me away because you don't want to rely on me too much, I love you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

"And since Haymitch…" I begin.

"Katniss, don't worry about Haymitch, he'll be fine," He says, confidently.

"How do you know?" I whisper, "I get so scared that he'll never wake up…" My voice fails me as I get a picture of the frail man that is laying that hospital bed.

"Because I just do, if he was going to die on us, he would have by now, he's still fighting for his life," He squeezes my hand lightly and looks up at me.

"It's just so hard for me to be happy when he's…" My voice trails off again.

"It was hard for me at first, too, Katniss, but then I realized something," He pauses, taking a breath, "Haymitch wouldn't want us to sit here worrying about him, he would want us living life as much as we could, because this whole thing has showed us one thing, how fragile life can be, even at the most secure of times."

I sniffle and nod slowly, "He would," I whisper and look up at him. "I'm sorry that I've been hurting you so much," I murmur and kiss him.

"Want to make it up?" He whispers and lays down.

I lay down next to him and look into him clear blue eyes, "Sure," I press my forehead against his and shift closer to him.

"Sing me the most beautiful song that you've ever heard, I don't care what it's about, love, heart break, dogs, whatever," He smiles and grabs my hand.

I chew on the inside of lip and think for a moment, "The most beautiful?" I repeat.

"Most beautiful." He confirms.

"Hmm…" I mumble and think back to all of the songs that my father ever sang to me. "Got one," I whisper and begin to sing softly.

_Oh why you look so sad  
>The tears are in your eyes<br>Come on and come to me now  
>Don't be ashamed to cry<em>

I take a deep breath to pause and squeeze his hand, softly. _  
>Let me see you through<br>Cause I've seen the dark side too_

When the night falls on you  
>You don't know what to do<br>Nothing you confess

I shift slightly and press my legs against his, letting his cool prosthetic leg cool my warm leg. _  
>Could make me love you less<em>

I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Won't let nobody hurt you  
>I'll stand by you<p>

So if you're mad get mad  
>Don't hold it all inside<br>Come on and talk to me now

Peeta closes his eyes and lets out a slow breath._  
>Hey, what you got to hide<br>I get angry too  
>Well I'm a lot like you<em>

When you're standing at the crossroads  
>And don't know which path to choose<br>Let me come along  
>Cause even if you're wrong<p>

I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Won't let nobody hurt you  
>I'll stand by you<p>

He reopens his eyes. I know because even though I'm not looking at him, I can feel his intense gaze on my face, watching me. _  
>Take me in into you darkest hour<br>And I'll never desert you  
>I'll stand by you<em>

And when, when the night falls on you, baby  
>You feeling all alone<br>You won't be on your own

I close my eyes and allow myself to think of my father, who sang these words so beautifully to my mother whenever he could. 

I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Won't let nobody hurt you  
>I'll stand by you<br>Take me in into you darkest hour  
>And I'll never desert you<br>I'll stand by you

Oh I'll stand by you  
>I'll stand by you<p>

I pause and look back up into his eyes. I see a smile on his lips and let out a slow breath. "Was that satisfactory?" I murmur, looking at him expectantly.

"Very satisfactory," He whispers and kisses me softly.

I smile and curl up against him, letting my eyes flutter closed.

"Katniss?" He whispers.

"Hmm?" I murmur, keeping my eyes closed.

"We'll make it through everything, no matter what happens, and love each other forever, Real or Not Real?" His voice is soft, almost scared to ask the question.

I pause for a second, thinking about how we're not always perfect, how we fight over small thing, how we sometimes are a little immature, how sometimes we act too serious, how sometimes we ignore each other for no real reason, how sometimes I get mad at him and he gets mad at me, but then I think of how I feel when I kiss him, or even see him, and how we always seem to love each other at the end of the night, no matter what, we always kiss each other good-night and curl up together.

I look into the eyes of my greatest friend, the person who would do anything for me, who would ultimately die for me and I press my lips against his softly, and tell him the truth, "Real," I whisper.

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><p><strong>Ahhh! That was so hard for me to write xD I had terrible writer's block all through Friday and all Sunday afternoon xD I sent my cousin a message and was like "<strong>**They have all gone on strike -.- Screw this, I should just kill them all off in some freak baking accident!" xD Not that I would EVER kill off my beloveds xD Anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter, it was pretty emotional for me because I know how Peeta felt..it was really hard for me. Anyway! Everyone who is on PanemOctober better add 'thehungergamer' or I'll cry xD Anyway, Review! Review! Review!**

**With love,**

**Amber**


	18. Chapter 18

**Ahllu my loves! I really appreciate the comments for the last chapter. I am going to apologize right now if this chapter sucks, because I am currently working on an art contest and I need 20 drawings. I have 10, and they're due soon. So I need to work on that. But I'm still going to write, it means way more to me than drawing, I just like drawing sometimes xD Anyway, here's Chapter 18! (Epps! I'm almost at my 20 chapter goal :D)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

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><p>The sun reached its fingers through the curtains as it rose in the sky. I glance over at the window and then back at Peeta who is looking up at the ceiling. "When was the last time we just stayed up all night with each other?" I ask.<p>

We had been up all night with each other, just talking about anything and everything, covering every subject. Hours earlier, I had fed Willow, but that fazed nothing. We totally opened up to each other.

Every new thing I learned about Peeta made me fall even more in love with him. I learned he had his first kiss when he was 12 from Saura Benner. His older brother's names were Ravin and Kane. His favorite animal is a dog. He used to have a pet one, but it ran away when he was 14. When he was 8, he failed a test, so he hid it from his parents and they found it when he was 15. He hates using computers because they are mind numbing. The one thing that I found slightly funny was when we were in 6th grade, he requested to work with me on a project about coal production and the teacher said yes, but on the day partners were assigned, I was sick and he was forced to work with another girl. I ended up working with Madge, which was how we became friends.

He also learned some interesting things about me that he never knew. Like when we were in the cave, he was the first boy to ever kiss me. When I was 8, I tried to be a vegetarian, but I immediately folded once my father got home with a full game bag. Somewhere in the back of my head, I always kept tabs on the boy with the bread, even if I myself didn't realize I was doing so. I tried my hand at cooking, but never was able to do it. And I never actually liked a boy until he came along and then the whole thing with him and Gale came to be.

"Probably the night before the Quell," He murmurs and rolls over so that he's facing me.

I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of that night. Everything that happened. I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath. "You're probably right." I scoot closer to him and press my forehead against his. "Hey Peeta?" I whisper.

"Hmm?" He curls his fingers around mine and looks into my eyes.

"Did you know that I love you?" I murmur and press my lips against his lightly.

"I love when you remind me," He whispers and pulls me closer to him. The heat from our bodies radiates back to us and keeps us warm even though the air outside is cool.

The baby monitor crackles to life from next to us and Willow's cries explode from the speaker.

I sigh and then sit up. Our peaceful night has given way to day, never to go back. Peeta sits up as well and leans against the headboard, "Ready to face the day?" He asks, searching my face.

I take a deep breath and nod, "Definitely," I look into his clear blue eyes and whisper, "Together."

He smiles and presses his lips against mine, "Together," He confirms and pushes the blanket aside.

I slide off the bed and walk around it, reaching out for his hand. When his hand envelopes mine, I smile and pull him into the bathroom. We both brush our teeth, but don't bother to change.

We walk out into the hallway. I can hear Willow's high-pitched cry coming from the nursery down the hall. There is the tell tale click of a door behind us. I turn around and tell her "Good Morning," but just as my mouth begins to form the words, Peeta presses me up against the wall and kisses me passionately.

I am surprised at first, but then I relax and respond to the kiss, kissing him back.

I hear Johanna's footsteps stop, but then they start up again as she passes by us. She mumbles something that I make out to be "About time."

Peeta doesn't seem to mind because he pulls away moments later.

I smile and look up into his eyes, "What was that about?" I whisper and rest my hands around his neck.

"Can I not kiss my wife in front of others?" He whispers and smiles.

I shake my head, "By all means you're allowed, but you're usually the one whose so chaste in public," I point out and then slip under his arms, walking into the nursery.

Willow lets out a cry of protest as I lift her into my arms. I smile and kiss her forehead. As she squirms in my arms, I lay her out across the changing table and proceed to change her diaper.

When Peeta walks in, Willow lets out a loud squawk and waves her arms around. She kicks out with her legs so that they are almost perfectly straight.

I laugh and fasten the diaper around her snugly. Leaning down, I place a soft kiss on her forehead and smile when she puffs out her stomach, as if that was her response.

I lift her into the air and hand her off the Peeta, "There you go, Daddy, take her while Mommy goes and sees how our guest is doing."

Peeta wraps his arms around Willow and beings cooing to her.

I jog down the stairs and walk into the kitchen. Johanna is sitting at the table, her finger wrapped protectively around a cup of coffee she must have made herself.

When she sees me, she nods her head toward a pot of coffee sitting on the counter, "Hope you don't mind, I made some coffee."

I walk over to the counter and pull a ceramic cup out of the cabinet above my head, "No, I don't mind at all, I appreciate it, actually," I pour the dark liquid into the mug and set the pot back down on the burner. I slosh milk into the cup and drop two sugar cubes into the cup.

I am suddenly catapulted to another time, another life.

"_Hello, Katniss," he says, as if we've known each other for years, when in fact we've never met._

"_Hello, Finnick," I say just as casually, although I'm feeling uncomfortable at his closeness, especially since he's got so much bare skin exposed._

"_Want a sugar cube?" He says, offering his hand, which is piled high. "They're supposed to be for the horses, but who cares? They've got years to eat sugar, whereas you and I…well, if we see something sweet, we better grab it quick." _

The memory is like a slap in the face. The effect immediate. I choke slightly and slam my cup down on the tiled counter, causing some of the brown fluid to splatter onto the white tiles. I bite down so hard on my lip that the metallic taste of blood floods my mouth. I clamp my eyes shut, ignoring Johanna's question of whether I was all right.

The tears press against the backs of my eyelids, threatening to spill over. Those few words introduced the person who would hold me together for so long into my life. His face flashes into my mind. Those sea foam green eyes piercing me. His dazzling white teeth shining. His bronze skin glowing in the sun. His golden hair blowing slightly in the soft breeze.

Suddenly, his gory death explodes, replacing his perfect face. His dirty features glistening with the sweat. The scent of sewage, the blood of enemies, allies, and complete strangers, roses and death floods my nose as if I am still there, still underground, still fighting for me life. I see the flash of light reach his figure as he fights to get out, his hair plastered to his face, pain flooding his eyes. His screams tear through my brain, threatening to break my heart. The mutts rip at him, tearing him to shreds, never to release him to the outside world.

He had so much to live for, his wife, his son, his home, his friends, his everything. But it was all torn away from him because of me. Because of my stupid fabricated mission. Because of my ignorance to what could happen. It is my fault. My fault Finn doesn't have a father. My fault Annie will never fully heal. My fault. All of it.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" Johanna's voice reaches through the haze of pain that has surrounded me.

I gasp and reenter the real world. The scent of the Capitol sewers is replaces by the refreshing smell of coffee. The picture of Finnick's last moments are replaced my Johanna's features swimming in my vision.

Her eyes are filled with concern, "Katniss, are you okay?" She asks.

I swallow my tears and nods, pushing down my emotions. "Yeah, I'm fine, just freaked out a little bit," I reach over and grasp the towel that lays next to the sink. I mop up the spilt coffee and toss the towel back next to the sink.

Johanna narrows her eyes, but accepts my answer and sits back down at the table, taking a slow sip of her coffee, still keeping one eye on me.

I sit down across from her as my eyes land on a small device that she is spinning around on the table underneath her finger. "What is that?" I ask in an attempt to deter the focus from me.

She glances u at me and then stops spinning it, "Just my phone, I'm waiting for a call." She momentarily looks at the phone as if her looking at it will make it ring.

I take a sip of my coffee and then set it back down on the table. The clock ticks behind us, filling the silence until I say what we both want me to ask, "Who from?"

She falls silent for a second, as if contemplating telling me, and then voices her thoughts, "My friend Clayne," she pauses and then says "He said he'd call this morning," as if more explanation was necessary.

I nod, "Friend, hmm?" I say. I've never been good at girl talk. I really never talked about boys, or clothes, or regular girl drama. I've only been provoked into girl talk a handful of times, and I brushed every time off with a vague comment.

She jumps when Peeta walks into the room, ready for a day at the bakery and hands me Willow. "I'll be back at around twelve." He says, leaning down to kiss me.

I accept his kiss and smile, "I love you, Peeta."

"I love you more," he whispers, his eyes filled with adoration. He kisses Willow's forehead and smiles, "Love you, sweetie." He glances at Johanna, "See you later." He walks out of the kitchen. The door shuts, confirming he left.

I clear my throat and shift Willow's position in my arms.

Johanna glances up at me and lets out a breath, "We've been seeing each other, I guess, for a few weeks before I came here, and we kind of got close, and I don't know what to do." She says all of this quickly and quietly, as if she doesn't want me to hear, but wants to say it out loud.

I look up at her and then down into my coffee, "Do you love him?" I ask, my voice just as quiet as hers.

She pauses, taking my question in, deciding how to answer, and then she says it, "I'm so scared to love him, because of what has happened to everyone I've ever loved. Why do you think I'm so alone? Because everyone has been taken away from me. What would happen if I actually loved him?" The last portion of what she says is barely audible, but I hear her. And I know exactly how she feels.

Wasn't that exactly how I felt only little more than a year ago? What I told Peeta that night when emotions were running high weeks before Willow entered the world? But look at me now, actually happy for one of the first times in years. I feel as though nothing can hurt me because I opened my heart to the one person that I meant to. "What would happen, Johanna?" I whisper, my voice shaking, "Maybe you'd be happy."

* * *

><p>"Katniss?" I hear Peeta voice from down the hall.<p>

"In here!" I call out from the nursery where I am changing Willow and putting her in something a little bit cooler since the temperature got a little higher since this morning.

"What would you say if I had a little surprise?" Peeta asks, walking into the nursery.

I raise my eyebrows, "Well, it depends on the surprise." I say and lift Willow into my arms.

"No, I can't tell you!" He smiles playfully and leans against the crib.

"Hmm, hint?" I say, teasingly.

"Nope, you'll just have to come with me to find out." He says.

I sigh, smiling and then agree, "Fine, where is this surprise?" I ask, genuinely curious now.

"Well, we need to walk there," He says and leads me out of the room.

I smile and follow him, "You'll need to get the stroller and the diaper bag if we're going anywhere," I remind him and walk down the stairs as he backtracks.

Moments later, he walks down the stairs, dragging the stroller behind him with the diaper bag slung over his shoulder. "Coming!" He says, laughing as the stroller gets caught on the railing, almost causing him to tumble down the stairs.

I laugh as he finally sets the stroller down on the ground at the base of the stairs. He expands it, setting the diaper bag in the basket below the seat for Willow.

I carefully lay Willow in the set and loosely buckle her into the seat, ensuring that she can't fall out but has some room to move.

Peeta moves ahead of me and runs through the house so that once I reach the door, it is open, awaiting us to walk through.

I smile and push the stroller through, "Thank you," I smile at him and cautiously push Willow down the steps, making sure the bumps down bother her too much.

Peeta walks down the stairs and helps me push Willow the rest of the way down by lifting the front wheels off the ground and placing them lightly on the other side.

We slowly wind our way through the streets of District Twelve, talking quietly between each other.

People stare at us and whisper to each other, as if we're not walking right by them and can't hear what they're saying. We move through the streets, acting as if no one is saying anything.

Once we leave the center of town, we relax and begin fooling around with each other. We begin to approach the Meadow.

While in the middle of a rousing game of 'Would You Rather', Peeta jumps directly in front of me, causing me to slam the stroller into his body.

He lets out a groan and closes his eyes. "Woah," He pushes back against the stroller and puts up his hand when I try to apologize, "It's fine." He says and just holds up his hands to cover my eyes. "Just don't look and take three steps forward.

I do as I'm told and then wait.

"Now take ten more steps." He says, laughing.

I sigh impatiently and take ten steps forwards, pushing Willow ahead of me.

"Okay," He whispers softly and uncovers my eyes, "Now look."

I look up and gasp at the scene I am confronted with. There is a large blanket spread across the ground and food set all over it. Johanna is sitting down on a folding chair next to the blanket, guarding it, bored.

He smiles and looks at me, "What do you think?" He asks, the grin on his face so wide it looks as though his face might split in half.

I look at the flowers strewn across the blanket, decorating the checkered layer. There is a large woven basket sitting on the edge, holding down the sheet from the wind. "It's beautiful," I whisper and kiss his cheek, "Really," I murmur and grasp his hand, squeezing it lovingly.

We both sit down, positioning Willow's stroller on the side of the blanket.

Johanna stands and stretches, "Well, I'm going back to house so you two love birds can have your time." She walks away, disappearing into the trees that line the outside of the new town.

I smile and sit cross-legged, pressing my right knee against Peeta's left one. "So, what are we dining on?" I ask, smiling at him.

"Well, I have some grilled chicken, your choice of drinks from water or water," He winks, "a loaf of my specialty bread, and a little something for after that you'll have to wait to find out about."

I narrow my eyes at him teasingly, "Well, we both now that I am not a very patient person, so you are allowed to show me now." I say in a matter-of-fact voice.

He just shakes his head, "Not a chance!" He opens the basket and sets two plates down in front of us. He carefully pulls out two champagne flutes and pours water into them. "Perfect." He glances up at me, his eyes dancing in the sunlight.

I lean forward and pull the sun cover over Willow, protecting her fragile eyes from the blazing sun. Making sure the seat is secure, I pull her a few inches closer to us and settle in to eat.

Peeta scoots closer to and unwraps the cellophane from the two plates. He sets one in front of me and places a fork and knife on either side of my plate.

I patiently wait until he unwraps his own plate and looks at me, for confirmation that I am ready to eat. I nod and then carefully slice the piece of chicken in front of me. I lift it to my mouth and let the taste flood my mouth. "Mmmm," I let out and take another bite.

We quickly loose ourselves in our meal, each other, and don't think about time until the sun blazes its stunning colors through the sky, shooting reds, pinks and oranges throughout the sky.

I tap Peeta on the shoulder and point at the sunset, "Look, orange," I whisper and smile at him.

He glances up and smiles, "Look at that," He faces me again and kisses me.

I feel my heart flutter the way it always does when his lips are pressed against his.

He pulls away and then turns. He pulls the basket closer to him and opens the top. "Close your eyes again," He instructs.

I comply and wait patiently. When he taps my knee softly, I flutter them open, blinking away the darkness and letting them get used to the sunlight.

When I see he is holding something out to me. I follow the line of his arm down to a short, long box.

After a second, he carefully opens the box, revealing a necklace perched perfectly on the soft velvet that inside the box. The silver chain slowly drapes down to a silver heart with a small pearl in the center that is glimmering in the fading sun.

I gasp softly and reach my fingers out to graze the delicate chain. It yields against my touch and bends slightly. "Peeta…" I am lost for words as he cautiously removes the necklace from its case and stands, walking around me and kneeling down behind me.

He pushes my braid over my shoulder and lowers the necklace to my neck. As he clasps it, locking it in place, he leans down and presses his lips against the soft skin of my neck. Warmth radiates from his lips as he presses them lightly against my skin.

I let my eyes close and allow my myself to melt in his hands, which are wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer to him.

When he stops and removes his arms from around me quickly, I open my eyes and turn towards him, confused.

I understand when I look over his shoulder and see people staring at us as they walk past, their eyes glued to us like we're a car accident.

We both clear our throats and then quickly pack up our little picnic. I check on Willow as I had been doing all afternoon and see her starting intensely at the design on her stroller cover.

I carefully wheel her off of the grass and ignore the stares coming at us from every direction. Peeta joins me at my side and whispers in my ear, "Take this back home?" He whispers, seductively in my ear.

I turn to face him and smile, "You bet."

We slowly walk through the streets of District 12. Once we reach the house, we manage to get the stroller up the stairs and into the house.

Peeta pushes open the door and allows me to walk in ahead of him. I wheel Willow in and stop next to the sofa. I carefully detach the seatbelts from around Willow and lift her into my arms.

She lets out a gurgling sound and happily shoves the majority her fist into her mouth and begins sucking on it.

I laugh and then look up at Peeta who is smiling, but glancing at the hallway where the stairs lay. I chew on the inside of my cheek and then try to think of something, "We can't just leave her to fall asleep in her crib, it's only seven!" I hiss quietly.

He pauses for a moment, thinking as well and then says, "We could see if Johanna could…"

"See if Johanna could what?" Her voices rings out because of its volume.

Peeta looks up, startled, but then glances at me, as if I have to explain.

I clear my throat and then glance at Willow who is occupied with fiddling with my necklace. "We were…" My voice fails me as I try to think of how to word what I want to say.

"God, if you want me to watch the damn baby, just tell me," She says, tapping her foot impatiently.

I clear my throat and then look up at her, "Could you please watch Willow for the night?" I ask, my voice low.

She smirks and cups her hand around her ear, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asks.

I narrow my eyes and open my mouth, "Can you watch Willow for the Goddamn night?" I half-shout.

Johanna smiles and nods, "Fine," she walks over to me and reaches out for Willow, but at the last second, she pulls her hands away, "And why do I need to watch her?" She asks devilishly.

"Really?" I growl.

She smirks, "Just kidding," She grabs Willow and wraps her arms around her protectively. "We're going to have fun together, right Willow?" Willow babbles in response, so Johanna laughs, "Yeah, but not as much fun as Mommy and Daddy when they…"

"Johanna!" I hiss and bat at her arms.

She laughs and walks into the kitchen. "Have fun," She waves one of her hands over her head in a _Bye_ gesture.

"Sometimes I hate her so much," I growl and walk over to Peeta.

"Well," He murmurs and wraps his arms around my waist, "She's helping us right now." His voice is soft as he lures me into the hallway and up the stairs.

Johanna quickly fades from my mind as I zone in on Peeta's eyes. He kicks the door to our bedroom open with his foot and backs in slowly, not loosening his grip on my hips.

Once we walk through the doorway, I push the door closed and allow him to pull me up against him so our bodies are fully pressed against each other. "So," He whispers and presses his forehead against mine lightly, "What to do?"

I glance down at our bodies and then back up at his face, "Well, I am filthy, I don't know about you," My voice is quiet, but it has a teasing tone to it.

"Oh, I am too," He whispers and kisses me, "Well then, why don't we fix that?"

Within minutes we are standing in the shower, the warm water running its fingers down our skin.

Peeta is kissing me passionately, tangling his fingers in my dark hair. He has me pressed up against the glass wall of the shower.

I open my mouth against his and push back, fighting for dominance, because I am not one to be dominated. I press my hands against his bare, wet chest, letting then slip down slightly. My fingers trace the lines of his muscles as well as the lines of his scars that will never go away. Just another reminder of the past.

He lets out a deep throated groan when my hands trace the muscles that cascade into his groin. My fingers dance down his smooth skin and onto his ever growing erection. He presses his lips against mine more fiercely while I'm distracted and gains dominance.

I wrap my hand around him and smile against his mouth when he lets out a loud moan that I can feel in my own throat. My fingers move deftly, not wasting time.

"Katniss," He moans and buries his face in my chest. His hands untangle themselves from my hair and move down my body and stop at my waist, digging themselves into my skin.

I gasp even at that light touch so close to my center. I feel pressure building up inside of me as I continue to evoke sounds from Peeta's lips that send chills up my spine.

He pulls his head out of my chest and whispers in my ear, "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold on, darling," his voice is husky and irresistible.

I open my mouth to catch my breath slightly and then press on him harder, "I don't care, let go Peeta, just let go," My voice is almost unrecognizable, masked with desire.

As if on cue, he releases and my hand is drenched with him. He pulls his face out of my neck and then looks at me, his eyes hazy with lust. "God, I love you Katniss," He hisses and kisses me with such passion, I am surprised.

I quickly regain myself and press back with equal force, showing my love for him in every way possible.

He pulls his mouth off of mine and then presses his lips against the tender skin right below my jaw. His tongue darts out occasionally when he nips my skin playfully. His lips make their way lower on my neck until they reach my collar bone. He pauses as if questioning whether I want him to go on.

In response, I dig my fingers into his hair and press him into my chest. As his lips work their way down my breast, I let out a gasp of pleasure and feel myself melt. "O-oh.." My voice fractures as he works his way down my body.

He tears his lips off my skin and raises his head so we are looking into each other's hazy eyes. He leans forwards and lays such a gentle kiss on my lips, I am surprised. The kiss ends quickly but I am still left breathless.

I look up at his face. His deep blue eyes filled with lust. His lips slightly parted, trying to catch his breath. His ashen blond hair plastered to his face from the water running down our faces.

Without realizing it, we both begin to slide into a sitting position on the cool, tiled ground. He kneels down in front of me and straddles my lap with his strong legs. His prosthetic legs makes a quiet ringing sound as it scrapes against the ground.

Peeta's face winces in pain slightly, so I immediately plunge forwards and press my lips against his. I grip his hips in an iron grasp and pull them towards me so we are pressed against each other.

He groans quietly. His hands clutch me right below my ribs. His face is firm in effort as he refuses to do me.

I pull his ear next to my lips and whisper seductively, "Why are you fighting it?"

This must push him over the edge because he immediately presses himself against my heat.

I let out a loud groan as he teases me. I dig my nails into his skin and buck my hips. "P-Peeta…P-please…" My voice is husky with ache for him.

He moves his face so that it is right next to my ear. His breath comes out in huffs as he slowly works his way into me. His thrusts are timid at first, slow and shallow, but his hormones begin to take over as they get stronger and plunge deeper into me.

"Peeta!" I cry out in pleasure when he hits a particularly sweet spot inside of me. I begin to move in rhythm with him, our hips move in unison as our want takes over our bodies.

The sound of the water must not be able to mask our sounds of pleasure. We shout in pleasure and let out many particularly loud groans.

"Peeta!" I shout, "I'm getting close, I can't…" I can't even finish my sentence before I feel the pressure in my body release. My mind fizzles for a split second as I let out a quiet moan.

Peeta buries his face in the crook of my neck as he lets out one final, powerful thrust and he releases himself as well.

I gasp as he rushes into me. "Peeta," My voice is low as I press my hands against his chest. "You are amazing," I whisper and press my lips against his softly.

He takes a deep breath to catch his breath and smiles, 'Not as amazing as you," He pulls himself out of me and stands up, shaking slightly from exhaustion. He holds out his hand to me.

I grasp it and allow him to pull me up into a standing position. I lean against him slightly and just stand with him under the water, allowing it to soak us all over again, rinsing away the sweat from our previous excitement.

After we are both presentable enough, I sigh, "I guess it's time to enter the real world," I look up into his eyes.

He kisses my forehead tenderly, "I guess so," He leans over and turns the water off.

The stream stops and just drips occasionally behind me. I shiver slightly without the flow of warm water coming over me.

Peeta pushes open the door and steps out onto the floor, holding out his hand to me. "Come on, better sooner than later."

I nod and step out next to him. I grab out towels from their towel rings and hand his to him. I wipe the water off my face and then wrap it around my body snugly.

When I turn to face Peeta, he has his own towel wrapped around his waist, but he is pouting as I tuck the end of my towel in so it stays. "Aww, poor Peeta," I pat his shoulder and walk out of the bathroom.

I quickly dry myself off and then slip out of the towel. I begin to grab my clothes when a whistle makes me jump out of my skin . I turn to the source and see Peeta leaning against the door jamb of the bathroom, a playful gleam in his eyes.

I narrow my eyes at him and then grab my clothes and slide into them. "Ha, your little show is over," I glance at the clock and see it clearly states that it is ten-thirty. "Wow, it's pretty late," I slide into bed and then pull the covers over my body. "I'm just going to work on the book for a little bit."

Peeta nods and quickly dresses and then slips in next to me, "Alright, I'm going to try to finish my drawing," He says and pulls out his drawing which he has been working on for days.

"What of?" I ask casually. He has refused to show me, saying it was a surprise for our anniversary.

"Yeah right," He says and laughs, "You won't know until I give it to you." He turns away from me slightly so I can't see the picture.

I let out a sigh of exasperation and then go to write down a description of how Prim used to laugh. The memories pain me at first, but I truly feel as though they are still with me when I go back over and read them.

I think of how every time I heard Prim laugh, I couldn't help but laughing myself. It always made me smile, without fail. I carefully write it down and then close the book. I set it on my nightstand and turn off my light, leaving only Peeta's lamp to illuminate the room.

I lean over and kiss Peeta softly, "Good-night, I love you."

He leans over and presses his lips against my forehead, "I love you too, Katniss," His voice is only filled with love and adoration as he says this and I smile, knowing that he loves me and me only.

I lay down and pull the blankets over my shoulders, waiting for him to put his own papers away and guard me from the night.

Within seconds, I am satisfied when I hear the lamp click off and the pressure of his chest against my back as he wraps his strong arms around me. I feel the corners of my mouth tilt up in a permanent smile.

We enter the night as one, warding off nightmares from each other's minds, keeping our sanity in one piece.

* * *

><p>"Mrs. Mellark?" The doctor's voice swims into my mind through Haymitch's steadily improving breathing and the incessant beeping of the machines that are keeping him alive.<p>

He's been getting better, his breath is getting stronger each day and they are doing less tests on him. They have started weaning him off some of the machines that he's been connected to him since day one.

"Hmm?" I say, quietly, keeping my eyes trained on his face, fingers clamped around his lifeless ones. He is still dead to world, as he's been for over two weeks.

"May I speak with you in the hallway?" She asks, quietly.

I nod and tear my eyes away from Haymitch. I release his listless hand and carefully set it on his chest. I lean down and kiss his forehead, "I'll be back tomorrow or Thursday," I whisper and then follow the doctor out into the hallway.

She closes the door quietly as if any loud noises could wake him up. "As you may have noticed, Mr. Abernathy has been getting stronger," She says. I nod but allow my mind to wander, knowing she will tell me not to get my hopes up.

Suddenly the words 'wake up' catch my attention, "Wait, what?" I say, my voice suddenly desperate.

She looks as if she is suppressing a smile as she repeats herself, "Now I don't want you to get your hopes too high, but I wanted to inform you that he is exceeding all of our expectation, from the beginning we thought he would be in a vegetative state the rest of his life, but our tests are showing promising results and he is rapidly improving." She explain, a smile forming on her lips as I must look totally dumfounded.

"Wh…" my voice fails me as I think of Haymitch waking up, being alive, talking, walking, laughing, shouting, being with us.

"Now, in the event of this, I need to inform you, that he will need round the clock care because since he is an alcoholic, he will want to go back to drinking, if he does, that will be a death sentence." She explains, her voice serious.

I nod rapidly, "Yes, I understand, thank you so much Dr. Mardia, thank you so much!" My voice is filled with emotion. "Thank you so much," I immediately take off at a sprint down the hall. I run down the stairs, jumping every other one and almost tripping multiple times, but I don't care. I need to tell Peeta.

I begin to feel the side effects. I should stop, take a breath, but I am right next to the bakery. I see the decorative awning when I begin to speed up. I don't care that my lungs feel like they are on fire, or that the cold air I am sucking in is making it ten times worse, I don't care, I just need to see Peeta. Tell him.

My hands slam into the glass door, shoving it open. "Peeta!" I shout, but it comes out much quieter because I am so out of breath.

One of his workers is at the counter and he jerks his thumb to the back. I take a step and feel my leg almost buckle beneath me. I begin catching my breath as I take small steps. I round the counter and walk into the back. I see Peeta standing by the oven.

His face is filled with surprise first, and then concern when he sees me slide into a sitting position. "Katniss, what's wrong?" He asks, his voice filled with worry.

I try to speak, but I just let out a puff of air then pull it back in. The air, warmed by the ovens soothes my lungs slightly. I inhale again and then open my mouth again, "It's Haymitch," I feel my mouth spread into a smile, "He's getting better, a lot…" my voice trails off as I take another deep breath, "A lot better,"

He stares at me in disbelief and grabs my shoulders, "Katniss, are you sure?" He asks, but I see the smile forming on his face, too.

"Swear! Dr. Mardia told me like less than five minutes ago!" I take a deep breath.

Peeta stands and grabs a bottle of water from next to the oven and holds it up to my mouth, 'Drink," he orders.

I open my mouth as he tilts it so the water pours slowly into it. I swallow and feel better, "Thank you," my voice is slowly beginning to resemble its normal tone.

"So she said that he's getting better?" he asks, his voice filled with shock.

"Exceeding all of their expectations," I quote and begin laughing. I must look insane. Maybe I am, with happiness. I am laughing so hard that my sides begin to hurt all over again.

"Katniss?" Peeta says, questioningly, but he is beginning to laugh too, the happiness radiating from us.

We are insane, both of us, our mind overcome with utter shock, "He's getting better!" I gasp as it hits me full force, "But Dr Mardia said that he'll need round the clock care so that he doesn't go back to drinking because if he does it'll be a death sentence." I explain.

Peeta nods, "I'd see why, alcohol kills a healthy liver, he'll be dead within the week if he drink again," He says, his eyes now serious, "But maybe we cans see if he can get a liver transplant," His voice is optimistic.

I nod, "He has a chance, he actually has a chance," I can't get the smile off of my face, _He has a chance!_ I shout at myself. I can't contain my happiness. _He seriously has a chance! He is going to make it!_ "He is going to make it," I whisper, giving my thoughts a voice.

"Who said he wouldn't give up on us?" Peeta asks, his voice shaking.

I look up and see tears rolling down his face, I suddenly feel tears welling up behind my own eyes. "You," I whisper, my own voice trembling. I allow a single tear pass over my eyelid. It rolls down my cheek and off my face.

Peeta wraps his arms around me and we just sit there, allowing it to sink in. He has a chance.

* * *

><p><strong>Holy. Shit. This is my longest chapter ever by almost 2,000 words, yeah a little less than 2,000 words, crazy right? I have over 7,500 words xD. And I had terrible writers block xD Shocking right? Lol! See? So I made you wait for two weeks, but that made it even better. I typed 6,000 words in the span of less than three days. All because why? I love you all. That's why xD I hope you all APPRECIATE my hard work lol. I wouldn't stop thinking about what I was going to do next. I actually had writer's block up until this morning. It actually hit me in church what I could do XD THANK THE LORD! I really do hope you all appreciate this though, I work so hard on it and when I see people like it, it really makes me feel amazing. I know it sucked at first, but it has hopefully gotten better over time and wanted to say how much I love each and every one of you who have stuck with me through thick and thin, no matter what. You all helped me through everything with your comments, followings and favorites. I love you all and I hope you love me just as much xD Well, until next week, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!<strong>

**With love,**

**Amber **

**PS: In case you all cared, me and a bunch of friends went to Philly on Tuesday and we went into the mall next to the Constitution Center, in case y'all knew where I am talking about, and we went inside this place...I forget the name, but it was two shops over from the candy place, and we went inside and I saw these cute sunglasses blah blah, so we were talking to the clerka dn she was so sweet, so I decided to buy the sunglasses. She actually gave me money off because she said we looked cool xD So in case y'all are ever in that area, head over there and buy something. And y'all will know who sent ya right? Yup, Amber xD**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey Loves! I can't believe we're already on Chapter 19, crazy right? Who here heard about Josh's interview that concerns 'coming soon' announcement in an MTV interview? Yup, exciting! I am so excited; it's the VMA's all over again. Well, you guys are so lucky that I love you because I should be bonding with my brother because we're at his place, but no, I'm WRITING. Why? Because I love pleasing you guys! xD Though I am a little sad that I only got a few reviews. But I guess you get what you get and you don't get upset. Oh and-**

_**Please, go onto my profile and take the poll for the gift for my loyal readers and 200th reviewer, I really want feedback and need ideas!**_

**Whatever, anyway, without further adieu, Chapter 19!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

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><p>My hand moves automatically to where I know Peeta should be. When my fingers run across the soft sheets, my eyes fly open. They are cold. His body heat not there, gone. I sit up and look around the room. It looks as if no one moved anything. There is my shirt that I didn't feel like putting away, so I just threw it on the floor the night before. Peeta's shoes are all meticulously lined up next to his dresser with everything still sitting on its surface. His watch. His belt looped into small circles. His wedding ring. I jump out of the bed and knock quietly on the bathroom door. No answer.<p>

I carefully push it open and look inside. Everything is unmoved. The counter clean of anything, the shower door is closed with both of our towels hanging where they have always been. Our toothbrushes sit next to the sink, untouched.

I poke my head out into the bedroom again, as if he might have materialized without a sound like Gale had done so many times. I know it is impossible because I would have heard him within seconds, but I allow myself to be surprised when I see that he isn't sitting on the bed like he always does.

Silently moving out into the hall, I see Johanna's door still closed with no sounds coming out of it. I assume that she is asleep and move down the hall, opening the door to the nursery. I carefully tip-toe towards the crib where I know my constant will be. Where I know my baby girl will be, silently sleeping off her last feeding.

My heart stops beating when I look over the railing and her blanket is tuned back and she is missing. Before I am even aware of it, I started screaming. "Peeta!" I screech. I fly down the stairs, screaming, tears beginning to stream down my face. He left. He left and he took her and left. Never to return. "Peeta!" I scream and turn into the office, empty. He left with her, both of them gone forever. Never to be seen again. "Peeta! Where are you?" I scream.

I run through the house and to the back door. I throw open the door, now sobbing, convinced he left. A cool wind throws back my hair as I jump out onto the back porch that I have probably only been on twice. I see a figure standing next to the railing, looking out to the rising sun.

The person turns and faces me. They are holding a small baby in their arms. When I look up at their face two familiar blue eyes are locked on my face.

Peeta first looks at me, confused and then concern floods those beautiful blue eyes. "Katniss, what's wrong?" He asks, taking a step towards me.

I open my mouth, about to demand how he didn't hear me screaming his name, but I just collapse onto my knees, sobbing even harder.

He runs over to me and kneels next to me, "Katniss," He whispers, "What's wrong? What is wrong?" I feel his hand begin to rhythmically move around my back, calming me.

"I…" a sob chokes off my voice and I curl up against him. "I thought you left and took…her with you," I finally get out, only to be wracked by more sobs.

"Katniss, I would never leave you," He says and kisses the top of my head.

As the sobs slowly begin to die down, I finally look up at him and see his is balancing Willow carefully in is arms, but also comforting me.

I stand, shaking slightly and dust of my knees, even though there is nothing on them. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve and clear my throat. "I know…"I whisper, my voice shaking, unstable.

He carefully shifts Willow's position in his arms so that he can hold her better and then stands in front of me, "Katniss, are you okay?" His voice is filled with concern.

I nod, knowing that my voice in unreliable at the moment. I walk out onto further onto the porch and look out into the single line of trees and then black, charred rumble a few yards behind them, as if they perfectly controlled not hitting these houses, but making sure they hit everything else.

"I can't believe we never come out here," says Peeta, walking up next to me.

Glancing over at him, I am surprised at how beautiful he looks with the sunrise reflecting off of his skin. At this angle, you can see the scars of where the fire licked his forehead. I allow my eyes to travel down his chest and to his hands, which were ravaged by the flames.

I look down at my on uneven patchwork of skin on the visible parts on my body and shudder at the thought of that terrible day.

"Is it too cold out here?" Peeta asks and glances at me. When I don't respond, he just adjusts Willow's position in his arm so that he can wrap one arm around my shoulders and usher me back into the house.

After we walk in, Peeta kicks the door closed with his foot and we quietly walk through the hallway until we reach the kitchen. "Are you okay now?" He asks, quietly, his eyes filled with concern.

I nod, "Yeah," my voice is unconvincing, so I say "Yes," with a little more confidence. I untangle myself from his grasp and walk over to the counter. I carefully pull out a coffee mug and clamp onto it firmly so that he doesn't see how hard I am still shaking.

"Where's Willow's bouncer?" He asks.

"I think it's next to the sofa," I say, calmly. When I hear his footsteps disappear into the living room, I allow myself to let out a heavily shaking breath. I quickly compose myself as he walks in.

When I turn I see he has set Willow down in the bouncer. "Make sure she's strapped in," I remind him so I seem on top of things.

"I know," He says, smiling, "Can you make me a cup of coffee?" He asks, sitting down.

I nod, "Sure," I turn away from him and begin preparing the coffee. I grab another mug and set it down on the counter next to mine. After a few moments, the coffee drips a few more drops into the pot and finishes.

My fingers curl themselves around the handle as I fill each cup with the dark liquid. I place the coffee pot back onto the counter, grab the cream and sugar and sit down next to Peeta, who is staring out the window. Watching the early morning activity of the groundskeepers who are milling about in the large patch of grass that all twelve houses surround.

I glance out the window and see one of the young women smile and wave at us through the window. Peeta politely returns the gesture and then looks up at me, "So, do you know what tomorrow is?" His voice is playful, because we both know exactly what tomorrow is.

I sit down across from him and then smile, "Well, I believe it is someone's one year anniversary." I take a small sip of my coffee and look at him, "Anything special planned?"

He just shrugs his broad shoulders, "I don't know," he stirs his coffee nonchalantly and takes a sip, pushing the spoon out of his face. "I mean you don't have anything planned do you?"

I smile and shake my head, "Nope, I have nothing booked," I glance out the window to see that the green in front of our houses has been emptied and stands prim and perfect as always.

He nods and then glances at Willow, who has fallen asleep, lulled by our voices. "Well, I'd better get to work, come by later, I have the other baker working after twelve and we can grab some lunch somewhere in town," he suggests and stands.

I stand up and kiss him lightly on the lips, "I'll try to get there around twelve, okay?" I ask, walking over to the counter.

"Okay," He says and must kiss Willow, because she lets out a low complaint, but quickly quiets down, "Love you, Katniss," His voice is filled with nothing but sincerity.

"I love you, too, Peeta," I say, turning to face him. When he blows me a kiss, I smile and blow him one back, except I doubt mine was as animated as his.

He playfully catches air and pats where his heart should be.

"Get out of here," I say, laughing and wave him away good-naturedly.

After he waves one final time, he disappears down the hall and a few moments later, I hear the door close behind him. I walk over to the window and see him walking away from the house, towards the path to town.

I sigh then walk back over to the table. I grab both of our cups and set both empty cups down in the sink. I pull a piece of paper and pen out of one of the drawers and quickly write down a note to Johanna as an explanation to where I am.

_Johanna,_

_I went to town with Willow to pick something up for tomorrow, I'll be back around ten. If Peeta calls and asks where I am, tell him I am in the shower or taking a nap, just don't tell him I'm in town._

_Katniss_

_PS~ Sorry if my screaming woke you up_

I set the note next to the coffee machine and check on Willow, who is now awake, but groggily looking around the room. I lift her up into my arms and walk into the living room. I grab her baby carrier and wrap in around my body.

Carefully, I lower her in, facing towards me. She contently rests her head on my chest and begins sucking on her fist. I grab her diaper bag and stuff my wallet inside so I don't need to worry about it dropping and walk down the hall.

I quietly open the door, though I know Johanna's can't hear me, and walk out the door. The brisk fall air cools down my skin as I walk across the green. The leaves that have fallen in the past few minutes crackle underneath my feet as I walk.

I see a woman walking across the grounds and flick my fingers at her in an odd half-wave thing when she smiles at me.

Willow snuggles the side of her face deeper into my chest and lets out a quiet sigh, as if she would be perfectly content with being there forever.

As I walk into town, I am extra careful about avoiding walking in front of the bakery window, where I know Peeta will be.

I quietly slip into a small shop that is a block down from the bakery. When I push open the door, the bell over head jingles merrily.

There is a young man, probably a few years older than me, standing at the counter, looking boredly out the window. He glances at me and then smiles, "Hello, how may I help you?" He asks, his voice not sounding too different from the voice Finnick used when we met before the Quarter Quell. He leans against the counter, smiling at me.

I inwardly sigh, knowing what is coming next. When I was in school, a few boys tried to hook-up with me, seduce me, whatever, but I always brushed them off quickly, sending them away with a bruised ego to their friends who were laughing at his defeat across the schoolyard. "Hello, I was wondering if I could pick up an order," I say, my voice cool as I lean against the counter.

He grins and then poises his fingers over the keyboard of his paper-thin computer, "Name?" He asks, looking me straight in the eye.

When people look me in the eye, I guess they want me to look away and do something stupid like blush, but I look him squarely in the face, staring him down, "Katniss Mellark," I say.

His fingers quickly tap in the letters, and it must click in his mind that my name and Peeta's last name are connected, as well as my face which everyone in Panem knows. As he presses the 'Enter' button, his eyes lock onto Willow who is asleep on my chest. "I see," he says flatly. "You're order is in the back," he walks through a door behind him, his head hunched down in defeat.

I allow myself a quiet laugh as I wait for him to emerge.

A few moments later, he appears with a box in his hands. He sets the box down on the counter and grabs a knife from underneath the counter and slices through the tape that is keeping the box closed. He opens the flaps and pulls off the protective Styrofoam covering and tilts the box towards me a little bit so that I can see the object.

I smile as I see the carved wooden box. I nod and smile, "Yes, that's it."

He places the protective covering back over the box and re-seals it with new tape. He walks over to the computer and types something in. He looks up at me, now totally disinterested and says, "That'll be $145.75." He says and stares out the window as I pull out the money.

I slide it onto the counter and then try to decide how I am going to carry this box home. "Uhh…" I say, under my breath.

The cashier looks up at me and then back out the window.

I narrow my eyes, "Could you please help me with this?" I ask him through gritted teeth, annoyed.

He shakes his head, "Nope, sorry, can't leave the shop," his eyes travel around the streets, watching people pass by.

I almost smack him, "Is there any way that anyone could help me with this box?" The annoyance in my voice is obvious.

He looks at me and shakes his head, "Nope, but we could deliver to you."

I press my lips together to stop myself from cursing this idiot out. "I came to pick it up because it can't be delivered, it is a gift for my husband."

"Well then, I can't help you," his voice is dismissive, as if he can't be bothered with my petty problems.

There is a jingle behind me, signaling another customer has entered the small shop. The cashier immediately straightens up and clears his throat, "I can drop off the package at your address personally, miss," his voice suddenly had verve in it.

I turn my head slightly and see an older man making his way around the counter. He stops next to the young man and looks at me, "Good day, miss," his voice is friendly as he speaks, "I hope my grandson is helping you."

I am about to rat this idiot out, but I take this as an opportunity, "Yes, he is, he actually just offered to carry my package for me," I pause for a moment, letting my statement sink in and then smile at him, "Thank you."

He stares at me for a moment and then mutters something under his breath. He picks up the package and walks around the counter, following me out.

We walk in silence until we are about to reach the bakery, "Follow me," I say and swerve around the town, making the trek much longer, but easily avoid the bakery's front window so Peeta wouldn't be able to see us walking.

"Was that necessary?" he asks, huffing, as if carrying a box that weighs about five pounds is so difficult.

I whip around, which jars Willow from her sleep and begins to whine, "Look, if you're going to complain this whole time, your tip will get smaller, if you're lucky enough to get a tip, buddy!" I half-shout, upsetting Willow even more.

"Woah! Number one, I'm pretty sure that I am older than you, so I deserve a few ounces of respect, number two, my name is Saudin, not 'buddy'!" his voice is rising in agitation, "The only reason I am going this is because I need the money!"

"Fine, Saudin," I say, taking a deep breath, trying to rein in my anger, "Let's just get this over with." I kiss Willow's head and sigh, "Shh, baby, don't worry." I rock her, slowly and hold up my hand when Saudin tries to walk passed me. "Wait for me," my voice is dripping with agitation. My annoyance with this guy is rising.

After a moment, I begin walking again with Saudin in close pursuit. We make good time and are walking down the tree lined lane to the Victor's Village within minutes.

I point to our house and then pick up my pace when I see Johanna staring at us out the window from the kitchen. Her large eyes track us from her seat at the table. I step up onto the porch and turn to face him, "Thank you," I growl and open the door.

Johanna materializes next to me and narrow her eyes, "Who is this, Katniss?" Her voice has a note of accusation in it.

I turn to her, not in the mood to be given the third degree, "This is Saudin, he helped me carry this home from his store," I hiss and motion for him to set the package down on the porch. "I'll come back out and get it once I put her down," I say and walk inside.

Johanna and Saudin's voices drift through the open door as I deftly pull Willow out of her carrier and lay her down on her stomach in her play pen that we set up in the living room. I quickly run out onto the porch and grab the box.

Johanna's eyes follow me as I jog back into the living room to make sure Willow was all right. I hate when I don't have my eyes on her even if it is only for ten seconds.

I sit down on the couch closest to Willow and cross my legs. I carefully set the box on my lap and tear the tape off the top. I open the flaps and pull off the Styrofoam. Smile run my fingers over the smooth wooden surface and dip my fingers into each of the darkened grooves. The fact that I chose for them to burn the words into the box rather than carve them in cost an extra twenty dollars, but I love the way it looks and I know Peeta will too. I read the blackened letters in my mind.

_Art enables us to find ourselves_

_And lose ourselves_

_At the same time_

I carefully open the top of the lid of the beautifully crafted box and gasp when I see the rows of different art tools ranging from pure black charcoal to every color of the rainbow in paints. I suddenly realize that I had something else carved on it. I close the box and carefully tilt it up and see my personal message to Peeta on it, burned in black script in it.

_Peeta, I love you with all of my heart, all of my soul, all of my mind, and all of my strength. I am just sorry that it took me so long to realize it. Katniss_

Below the message is our anniversary in different print than the others. It is bolder somehow than the others and not in the script writing the rest is written in. It someway looks more final. More permanent.

I carefully set the box back inside it's protective casing and close the box. I stand and walk over to the closet and hide it under another box. I push them into the back corner and pray that Peeta won't find them.

I close the door just as Johanna appears in the door, "So, Saudin," she says, her voice isn't as accusing as it was before, but by the way she is looking at me, I can tell what is coming next.

"Johanna, please, I have an anniversary dinner to plan for tomorrow night," I say. By the tone of my voice, it is obvious that I do don't want her to press the topic.

"Well, I wasn't accusing you of doing anything," her voice is annoying me so much because she is just waiting for the perfect moment to really accuse me. "I was just wondering if it would be awkward for you if I invited him to dinner one night."

She smiles at me so sweetly, and it is so fake, I want to say no, but just to prove to her that I serious do not care, I say, "Whatever, just run it by Peeta, he's the one that makes the food." I walks over to Willow and lift her into my arms, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than be interrogated for something that I really did not do."

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><p>I slip into the bathroom where Peeta is trying to get re-ready as quickly as he can. I run my fingers along his back and then stand next to him, looking at us in the mirror. He was perfectly ready before, cleaned, showered, dressed, and ready for another day at the bakery, but when I woke up as we was leaving the bathroom, I lured him back into bed easily.<p>

I glance at him and fix his hair, which is wild from me digging my fingers into it. I brush it down and grab his cologne. The sweet smell of sex is clinging to our skin, so I swiftly spray him with the scent from the bottle which doesn't smell as good to me, but is much more presentable.

He grabs his shirt from off the counter next to him and readjusts his hair. He turns to me and does a 360-turn. "The verdict?" He asks.

I walk around him, brushing off the odd piece of dust I find just to play around with him, spray him with more cologne, and brush down his hair a little more. "Perfect," I say, pressing my lips against his softly. "Now get out of here, and you better be back by six, or you'll miss your special dinner." I playfully turn him and push him towards the door.

He blows me a kiss and then walks out of the bathroom.

I sigh and then get dressed. I make my way downstairs and find a vase of flowers sitting on the table. There is a small note attached to the glass vase. I pull it off and smile when I see Peeta's swooping writing.

_This is just the beginning. I love you, Peeta. _

I press the note to my chest, as if hugging the giver himself. _I __am __going __to __make __this __the __best __anniversary __ever __for __him._I think to myself and smile, proceeding with my day.

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><p>I carefully set the plate that has our dinner on it on the table. The scent of the grilled chicken wafts up to my nose. I fight to urge to take a bite and glance at the clock on the dining room wall. It clearly states that it is 5:54.<p>

We have never used the dining room, ever. It is an elaborate room with high ceilings and French doors and such. It is like something you would find in the President's Mansion, only a bit smaller.

I run back into the kitchen and grab two candles from off the kitchen and walk back into the dining room. I set the candles on either side of the platter that holds our dinner and deftly light them. They cast soft glows across the room. I turn the light down so that it isn't totally on, but it is on enough that we can see the entire room.

I make sure the room is perfect and then bound up the stairs. I have five minutes to spare. I have never been compelled to get dressed up to do anything. My thoughts have always been that if he doesn't love me at my worst, he doesn't deserve to see me at my best, but since Peeta does love me at my worst, I am making myself dress up.

I stare at the strapless grey dress that I wore on the Victory Tour. I wore it in 9. It is about half-way down my thighs and is bunched in the center with a bow adorning the side. In my opinion, I believe it is ridiculous looking, but I remember Peeta once saying that it was his favorite.

I quickly take off my clothes and slip into the skimpy dress and grab the four inch heels Johanna practically threw at me when I told her that I didn't want them. I step into them and suddenly feel like I am back in training with Effie. Before the Games. Before the Rebellion. Before Peeta and I were in fake love. Before everything. I hobble into the bathroom and look in the mirror.

Earlier, Johanna had helped me get ready by putting light make-up on my face and fixing my hair so that its usual waviness is replaced by large brown ringlets flowing down my back. I have a light grey shadow over my eyes along with some type of gloss applied over my lips.

At first I didn't want her to make me over, pretty me up, whatever, but then I went along with it because I just want to please Peeta for one day. I grab the necklace Peeta had given to me the week before and fasten it around my neck.

Johanna and Willow are happily installed at Greasy Sae's, who when Johanna told her that she was going to sit in her room the entire night wearing ear-plugs, invited her over along with Willow. Sae was one of the people from Twelve that got to move into one of the houses in the Victor's Village after the rebellion.

After the other day with Johanna questioning me, we didn't really bring it up again. We just let it pass.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and jump. I peek out the bathroom door and see Peeta come in. I close the door quietly so that he doesn't hear and press my back against the door. _What__if__he__hates__the__way__I__look?_I think, my heart beginning to race. _What__if__he__doesn__'__t__like__his__gift?_These questions and more run through my mind for a moment, but then I shake my head clear. I stand and open the door.

Peeta jumps and then glances up at me. His eyes go wide for a moment, but then return to their normal size. "Katniss…" his voice is hushed.

I twirl for him, then turn to face him. "How do I look?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly, probably from being so nervous.

He steps towards me and then wraps his arms around my waist, "You look amazing," he press his lips against mine.

I smile and then untangle myself from his grasp, "Come on, when you're finished, come down to the dining room."

I step down the stairs carefully and the walk into the living room. I stride over to the closet and open the door. Bending down, I grab the box containing Peeta's present and bring it into the dining room.

I remember the wine is in the kitchen and walk into to grab it. Once I am in the dining room, Peeta is walking in. After setting the wine down, I sit down across from him and smile, "Okay, so first eat, then gifts?" I smile.

"You bet," Peeta says, setting down a box next to mine.

The meal goes by fairly quickly, I am sure not to drink as much as I did on our one other 'date night' type thing. Once we are both finished, we grab our gifts.

I take a deep breath and then slide mine across the table to him. "I don't know if you'll like it, but I thought since you were running out of stuff like it…" my voice trails off as he opens the box, pulling off the Styrofoam.

He pauses and then pulls the box out of its container. He opens the actual wooden box and swallows., as if holding back something.

I suddenly fear the worst, "Peeta, do you hate it?" I whisper.

He looks up at me and that is when I see the glimmer of tears in his eyes, "Katniss, this is amazing," his voice is quiet, "I can't believe you actually got me one of these, I saw one in the store a few days ago, but it was so expensive."

I smile, "You deserve it, Peeta, there is no way on Earth that you don't."

He carefully closes the box and looks up at me, "Okay," he runs his fingers over his eyes, "Your turn."

I smile and pick up the blue box he slide over to me. It has a red ribbon tied around it, so I slide that off and open the box. I gasp at what is inside, sitting on layers of tissue paper.

Inside a dark, intricate frame, there is the drawing he has been working on for weeks. It is dozens of drawings on the paper. One of them is of me holding Willow close to my chest, keeping her warm, another is me with a bow and arrow in my hand, poised to shoot, another one is so detailed I almost think it is a black and white photo, but it is of me, doing something I haven't done in so long, but it is still perfect. It is me riding a light colored horse, sitting perfectly still, my features in a mask of determination. My favorite is the one in the center. It is slightly larger than the others, and they all ring it. It is of us. I am smiling, my teeth just barely showing, with Peeta next to me, laughing, Willow perched in his arms, her mouth opened wide, as if she is about to say something. At the bottom, there is a small sketch of my pin. The way that there is white streaks going around the pin give the illusion that it is shining, almost like the sun. At the bottom in the center in his swooping print, it says _I__love__you_.

I am speechless. This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. "Peeta…" my voice trails off, I can't even speak. "This…this is amazing…" my voice crackles with emotion.

"You like it?" He asks, as if I couldn't have.

I set it down carefully and stand. I walk around the table and over to Peeta. Sitting down on his lap, I turn my head to face him and kiss him. "Peeta, it is amazing, it is going in our bedroom," I wrap my arms around his neck and then lay my head on his shoulder.

He presses his lips against my forehead and hugs me tighter, "I love you, Katniss," he whispers.

"I love you, too, Peeta," I murmur, "I love you, too."

We stayed in the dining room for a little while longer, but it was obvious we were both bored of the setting and I was uncomfortable in the dress. So we went up to our bedroom and I washed all the make-up off my face and took off my dress.

Since I knew that I wouldn't really need clothes on, I just crawled into bed next to him with my underclothes on. After a few moments, we just gave into our desires and have an encore of this morning.

We don't waste any time like we used to, we are almost immediately naked and in each other's arms.

I dig my fingers into his bare back and loll my head back as his lips devour my skin. His tongue teases me occasionally, which makes me go wild. "Peeta!" I gasp.

He playfully nips me with his teeth and squeezes my one weak spot, my right side.

I jerk slightly, laughing, but immediately groan when he presses his entire body against mine, which includes his erection pressing heavily against me.

"Peeta!" I groan and pull him lower against me, trying to satisfy my need.

He laughs quietly against my ear and nibbles on the tender skin, "Someone's desperate,."

"I am," I say, not caring and pull his face off of my skin. When we are face-to-face, I press my tips against his. I immediately tease him with my tongue. He opens his mouth and we begin to fight for dominance.

After a few moments, he must feel his need growing as well, because he poises his tip at my entrance. When he presses himself inside of me, I let out a loud shout, "Peeta!" My voice is husky with lust as he thrusts himself into me.

I begin to move in rhythm with him , trying to keep pace. A few times, we fall out of rhythm, but we quickly match up again and our shouts fill the quiet of the house.

"Peeta!" I shout when he hits me in a particularly sweet spot. I immediately melt in his arms and release myself.

He groans loudly and thrusts himself into me one final time, hard, and releases himself as well.

We collapse in a sweating heap, gasping for air, trying to regain our breath, coming down off our high. The smell of sex hangs in the air, clinging to everything in the room.

After a few moments, I hear Peeta's voice, "Katniss, are you happy?" The question is so quiet, I almost don't hear it, but I turn over and face him.

"Peeta, I have never been happier." And that is the truest thing I have ever said.

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><p><strong>HOOOOLLLLLYYYYY SHIIIIIIT! That took FOREVER! So three weeks ago, I was in Maryland with my brother bonding, then last weekend I was all psyched to finish writing this chapter and that fucking crazy snow storm knocked out our power for 5 days. 5 of them. I resorted to making shadow puppet by candle light in 20 degree weather. It was hell. And then this weekend was Breeders' Cup weekend. MIKE SMITH IS THE GREATEST JOCKEY EVER! Seriously, he won the Sprint with such ease on Amazombie, it was amazing. And then in the Classic, the race he was denied last year by a nose on a superhorse, he won by 1 ½ lengths on Drosselmeyer in an amazing fashion. Then he passed his annoying ex, Chantal Sutherland, who I really do not like. Okay fine, I hate her, there it's out. But he was an amazing jockey that day, when it really mattered. I am so proud to call him my favorite jockey. Anyway, until next weekend, REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!<strong>

**~Amber**


	20. Chapter 20

**Ah my dear readers, how are all of you? I am hoping well, since our beloved Hunger Games trailer has now come out. Reactions? Favorite scenes? I loved it all ;) I would like to say to everyone who reviewed the last chapter (16 people who reviewed Chapter 19, a few others who reviewed other chapters): Thank you. Truly, from the depths of my heart. Every time I see you all getting excited about what will happen next, or saying I need to update soon and such, I can't help but smile. But there is one thing that actually brings tears to my eyes, and one person said that thing is the past chapter, I would like to say right now, fanficfan1122, I was truly touched when you said that I am a gifted writer. Some people take for granted when someone says they are a gifted writer, but if you knew what some people have said about my writing, you would understand why this comment touches me so much. Anyway, I would finally like to introduce, my ultimate goal, Chapter 20!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 20<strong>

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><p>"Johanna!" I shout, phone in hand, up the stairs, "Johanna! Someone's on the phone for you." I pause for a moment and when I don't hear anyone walking, I begin getting fed up, "Johanna, goddamn it! Get down here before I tell him that you aren't interested anymore!" That catches her attention and I hear the slapping of feet on the floor above my head.<p>

Johanna must have given Clayne the house number, because whenever someone calls, Johanna seems to throw herself at the phone, always claiming she's "got it, don't worry." Whenever it is someone calling from the hospital or a nosy reporter who was able to get a hold of our number, she just thrusts the phone in our direction, disgusted. But, there are other times where she answers and her face lights up and she just walks out the front door, talking quietly.

I hold the phone back up to my ear, "Here she comes, sorry for the wait," my voice is sickeningly polite for only one reason. He means something to Johanna, though she has an odd way of showing it. Since she has in some way pretty much moved in with us, I tolerate her usage of the phone and what she does and says. Why? Because she saved my life. And I owe almost everything to her, because had she not, I wouldn't have Willow, and Peeta would be who knows where, maybe dead too.

"Thanks," Johanna mumbles as she snatches the phone from my hand. She holds it up to her ear and then speaks, "Hello? Clayne, hey." A smile crosses her face as she walks away from me.

I smile and then begin walking through the house. A shiver runs its way up my spine as a light wind blows through an open window in the study. I walk inside and see Peeta's papers spread across the floor.

I laugh quietly and lean down to pick up the papers. Once they are all in a perfect stack on the desk, I shut the window.

Walking down the hall, something catches my eye. I stop and stare at it. It is a single, folded piece of white paper taped onto the wall with my name written on it in swooping letters. I glance down the hallway and see two more papers exactly like this one separated similarly.

I pause for a moment confused, and then snatch the paper off the wall. I unfold the paper and smile when I read the message.

_Good morning, love, I am sorry that I couldn't actually see your face when I said this, but there was urgent business at the bakery that needed to be dealt with. I won't be home until about six of seven. So to help you get through the day, I have left you notes around the house. In each of your favorite places there is a note for you, and a smattering of others around the house, just because I want you to know how much I am missing you. Give Willow a kiss for me, and I love you._

_Peeta_

I laugh. Of course Peeta would do something sappy like this. I take a few steps down the hall and grab the next note, a smile already playing at my lips as I open it.

_Hello again, do you miss me yet? I am sure that you do. I can honestly tell you that I miss you. Oh, and I love you._

_Peeta_

Moving down the hall, I snatch up the other note and read it while I walk.

_Okay, this is the last one for a few minutes, but I just wanted to say something. I hope you have a good breakfast, and don't just drink coffee, you're an adult woman, you need to eat! Even though I know you'll end up just having coffee, I just want to remind you that Willow needs a healthy Mommy to get milk from. Once she is done breast feeding, maybe you can just drink coffee, but think of our baby!_

_Peeta_

I try to suppress a smile, but I can't and begin laughing again. This man is the funniest person I have ever met. I walk into the kitchen and make some coffee. Peeta said not to only drink coffee, he never said anything about drinking it.

Once it is finished, I pour some milk in and take a sip of the slightly bitter liquid. I sigh and grab some bread from the fridge. I slice it carefully and warm it up. After spreading a light layer of butter across the bread, I sink my teeth into it.

For a few minutes, I just watch the world go by out our front window. I sigh and lean back in the chair, closing my eyes, letting the peace and quiet fill my mind. That's when I hear Johanna shouting my name.

"Katniss!" Her voice is loud, and the call rings throughout the house.

I sigh, "There goes my peace and quiet." I stand and walk out of the kitchen. "What Johanna?" I call out.

Her footsteps approach me. When she comes into view, she is waving the phone around in her hand. She stops in front of me, breathless and looks up at me. "Katniss, can Clayne please come over soon?" Her voice is a harsh whisper. She has the bottom half of the phone covered with her hand.

I shrug, "Sure, I don't Peeta will mind at all, and you deserve to have someone you can hang out with."

She stares at my for a second and then takes a deep breath. She places the phone back against her ear and begins talking, "Yeah, Katniss says it's fine."

I remember something, "Johanna, tell him to make sure he's not sick or anything since Willow is still young."

She nods and then walks away from me. I vaguely hear the words 'if you are sick' and move back into the kitchen. I sit back down and say aloud, "Maybe this will finally get Johanna off edge."

* * *

><p>I was so. Wrong. Over the next few days, Johanna runs around the house making everything perfect as can be for Clayne's visit.<p>

They both agreed on today and both Peeta and I approved it. The past two days have been hell for Peeta and me. Johanna has practically thrown us out of the house.

I grit my teeth as she paces around, just waiting for someone to knock on the door. Willow whines in my arms and burrows her face deeper into my chest, trying to get some sleep.

"Johanna!" I snap, "Please, just sit down. He shouldn't be too much longer."

She narrows her eyes at me and sits down on the couch adjacent to mine. That is when the foot tapping begins. The incessant tapping begins driving me crazy.

"Johanna, chill!" I cover Willow's ear lightly so that she can at least get a little sleep. I carefully switch positions, making sure not to jar Willow from the light sleep she has managed to fall into.

"I'm sorry…" She begins.

That is when someone knocks on the door. Johanna jumps out of her skin we hear Peeta call out from the den, "I got it!" There is the sound of the door opening and the faint sound of the two men's voices drift into the living room.

The color immediately drains from Johanna's face and she practically begins hyperventilating. "Katniss, I can't do this, what do I do? What do I say? I haven't seen him in weeks!"

I walk over to her slowly, trying not to jolt Willow. "Johanna, calm down, it's not a big deal."

She nods, taking deep breaths.

That's when Peeta and Clayne walk into the room. I am shocked at how tall he is. He is a head taller than Peeta, who is fairly large himself. He is well muscled and has dark hair, almost black. His eyes are a light green color, which surprises me, but they are intensely focused on Johanna. His skin is fairly pale and his features are perfectly chiseled. They add to the intensity of his eyes.

"Hello, Clayne." Johanna says, her voice is so much quieter than it usually is, that I almost don't hear her.

I clear my throat and smile, "Clayne, why don't you sit down."

He gives me a weird half smile and then sits down on the couch.

When he is staring at his hands, Johanna gives me a distressed looks saying the unsaid, _What do I do?_

I jerk my chin down, motioning for her to sit down next to Clayne. When she shacks her head, I do the motion again.

She takes a step toward the other couch, so I say "No!" but quickly disguise it with an obnoxiously loud cough when Peeta and Clayne looked at me, confused.

Johanna quickly sits down on the same couch as Clayne, but far away from him that they are in no way touching.

I sigh and sit down on the adjoining couch. Peeta quickly makes his way over to my couch and sits down. I smile when I feel the pressure of his hand on my shoulder.

"So, Clayne, what District are you from?" Peeta asks, trying to fill the stillness.

Clayne clears his throat and glances up at us, but his eyes quickly land on the floor again. "Originally, I was from 5, but then once the rebellion was over, I decided I needed a change of scenery." I am slightly surprised at how deep his voice is.

Peeta nods and another awkward silence settles over the room.

When Clayne coughs, Willow jerks awake in my arms. She begins wailing, her high pitched cry filling the air.

Clayne immediately blushes, the red showing up obviously on his pale skin, "I'm sorry."

I shake my head, "No problem, she wakes up easily." I lift her up so that she is in a sitting position. She is whimper, her beautiful blue eyes lock onto mine as I settle her into my lap.

She begins sucking on her hand. Now, I am not talking a few fingers, I mean half of her fist is in her mouth and she is sucking away on it. She looks up at me expectantly. She knows that I know she's hungry. This child knows that.

Usually, I wouldn't question feeding her in front of others, but I don't have any pumped milk. And I'm pretty sure Johanna wouldn't appreciate me flashing Clayne. Typically I have my cover, but I haven't been able to find it for a few days, hence why I was starting to rely more on the bottled milk I had pre-pumped. Funny how I just ran out this morning and said that I'd pump more tonight.

Usually I wouldn't care, I would just leave and feed her. But I feel that I shouldn't for two reasons. One: Our guest just walked in about five minutes ago, and I think it would seem I was ditching them. Two: Johanna needs me here. Though I don't know why, I just know that she does.

I glance at Peeta, who is watching Willow, smiling. I clear my throat just loud enough so that he can hear, but low enough that Johanna and Clayne can't.

He glimpses at me and then holds my gaze. He raises his eyebrows, as if asking _What? _

I give Willow a quick look and then focus my eyes back on his face. When he looks at me questioningly, I sigh and whisper, "She's hungry."

He shrugs, "Then feed her," he whispers, his voice equally low.

I shake my head, "I don't have any milk left."

Johanna and Clayne stop talking and I feel their eyes on us.

Peeta pauses for a second and then leans closer to me a little bit, "Have you found you cover yet?"When I shake my head, the answer seems obvious to him, "Then just feed her on our bedroom, or in the nursery."

I sigh, realizing, too, that this is the only solution. I hate to leave Johanna by herself when she is so nervous, but I have to. Willow needs to eat and I won't deprive her of anything that she needs. "I'll be back in a little while," I say.

As I walk out of the room, I feel Johanna's eyes following me. And I have a feeling that it isn't a happy look.

* * *

><p>Once I finished feeding Willow, I went back downstairs, but Clayne and Johanna had settled back into whatever mood they had before Johanna left. Peeta and I pretty much just sat on the couch, talking quietly.<p>

After we all ate a small dinner, I showed Clayne where he could stay until he left on Sunday morning, and off we all went to bed. Though I convince myself that I'm hearing things, after I close the door to our bedroom, I swear I can hear Johanna's bedroom door open and someone walking down the hall.

I walk over to our bed where Peeta is sitting and grab my nightclothes. "He seems interesting enough," I say, the sarcasm eminent in my voice. I walk into the bathroom and close the door slightly, but leave it open enough that I can still hear him.

He laughs, "Yeah, I think he didn't really care that we were there, as long as he got to talk to Johanna, he was happy."

After changing, I walk back into the bedroom and toss my dirty clothes into the laundry basket. I make my way over to my dresser and unclasp my heart necklace, then lay it across the top of the dresser.

When I turn, Peeta is directly behind me. He smile and rests his hands against the wall behind me, effectively trapping me. He leans closer to my face and plants a light kiss on my nose, "So, what are our plans for the night Mrs. Mellark?"

I pause, and then press my lips against his, passionately. Knowing his strength, I jump and wrap my legs around his waist.

He locks his hands underneath me, and backs us onto the bed. He sits down and lets his hands settles on the small of my back.

Untangling my fingers from the base of his shirt, I move them to his abdomen and up to his well-muscled chest. I push him into a laying position and put most of my weight on my hands, which are on either side of his neck.

For a moment, we just look at each other, catching our breath. We back up further onto the bed.

I pull the hair tie out of my hair, which causes my hair to fall in a dark, glossy curtain around our faces. I immediately plunge downwards and press my mouth against his.

He teases my lips with his tongue and I immediately allow him access to my mouth. I bend down closer to him and rest my weight on my forearms.

I pull my lips off of his and peels my tank top off. Tossing it off the side of the bed, I wait for him to get out of his t-shirt. After a moment, we can no longer resist each other and are joined in another passionate kiss.

We both seems to roll at the same time, and I end up below Peeta, staring at his mouth, his slightly parted lips, his intense blue eyes which have hazy with lust. Suddenly, I want to please him in every way possible. I don't want him to hold anything back.

I quickly reach my own hand around my back and unclasp my bra. I quickly pull it off my chest and toss it aside onto the floor, allowing it to find company with our shirts. My fingers dance their way down his chest, tracing the scars on his abdomen. The weave their way under the waistband of the shorts he has on.

I tug on the lightly, as if asking permission, and when I get it, I push them down his hips. He quickly kicks them off his legs and lets his fingers runs themselves down my own upper body. They barely touch me, but I feel light pressure against my tender skin, which has only been touched in this way by Peeta.

He easily slips me out of my own small shorts and underwear. I push his boxers off his hips within seconds and we both pause, allowing the other to survey us with nothing on.

Within seconds, Peeta lips are against the skin of my neck, devouring it hungrily. I gasp and digs my fingers into his back.

His lips move down my neck at an almost leisurely pace, driving me insane. And he knows it is. His hands grasp my sides, reminding me that I belong to him.

"Peeta!" I groan as his lips finally reach my collarbone and begin to move quicker down my body. Once he's about to reach my breast, I remember what I resolved to do.

"Peeta," I whisper. When he continues to kiss down me, I lift up his head. He looks confused, I shake my head indicating that he did nothing wrong, "I want to do something for you," I whisper before I lose my courage.

"All right," he whispers and waits for me to elaborate.

I motion for him to lay on his back. When he does, I take a deep breath and begin to test these uncharted waters. I press my lips against his neck and slowly work my way down his torso.

I hear his breathing catch when I lips reach the base of his abdomen. I take a deep breath and plunge right in, trying to make this perfect. I try to figure out to do by buying time. I make my lips move slightly slower, trying to keep him entertained while I stalled.

Peeta fingers curls themselves tightly around the bed sheets as I finally give in and wing it. My mouth finds itself at the base of his manhood. I gulp and then take it into my mouth. Trying to cover my teeth with my lips, I begin moving my mouth.

Peeta lets out a groan that has to be heard downstairs. I jump, but quickly regain my composure. I feel him getting harder in my mouth as I work my way up and down. Slow, rhythmic movements. That is pretty much all I can handle.

"K-Katniss…" His voice is husky, filled with need for me, "I c-can't…" At least I have warning when he releases himself into my mouth. I am forced to swallow. I close my eyes and quickly swallow.

I waste no time in getting up to meet his eyes. Though his eyes are closed, he is breathing heavily, coming down off the high I just gave him. Pressing my lips against his, I tangle my fingers into his hair, allowing him to taste himself.

I tear my lips off his and then resort to something I know I can do and that I know will work on him. My fingers deftly wrap themselves around him and begin applying different amounts of pressure on different parts that I know will make him go insane.

He begins gasping as I skillfully begin running my finger up and down his erection, which is growing firmer at a fairly rapid pace. He releases a particularly loud moan when I hit a predominantly sweet spot on him.

Before he can release again, I pull my hand off him and position my entrance above him. His hands grip my waist as I press down on him, allowing him entrance to me.

Peeta lets out a loud grunt as I drop all my weight down. His hips begin to move in a steady rhythm with mine. "Oh," I gasp as he thrusts into me deeply, hitting a sweet spot. Before I was feeling self conscious, not wanting Johanna or Clayne to hear us, but I no longer care about anything besides the love I feel between myself and my husband. The one person in this world who will ever be able to make me feel this way.

"Peeta!" I gasp when he grips my hips hard and thrusts himself deeply into me. The pressure inside of me is building. Building. With each thrust. Each moan. Each time his fingers touch me. I can't hold it anymore, I can't fight this. I close my eyes and gather all my weight and then push him into me as deep as he can get. I let out a shout of pleasure when I finally allow myself to release.

Peeta groans as he, himself lets go.

We both collapse onto the bed, our hair plastered to our faces, breathing heavily, trying to slow down our heart rates. Our hands find each other and we press our sticky foreheads against each other.

I look up into his deep blue eyes, which are trained on my face. "Peeta," I whisper, still trying to catch my breath, "I love you so much."

He smiles, breathing heavily through his mouths, "Katniss, I love you, too, more than anyone could ever know."

I press my lips lightly against his, reminding him that we can be gentle, and then pull away slowly from the sweet kiss.

Peeta pauses, looking as if he wants to say something, but can't.

I look at him, puzzled, "Peeta, what's wrong?" my voice is quiet, so different from only moments ago when I barely recognized my own voice.

"Katniss, can you do something for me?" His voice is quiet, which I am surprised it can get so low after how loud the two of us were just being.

I nod, "Anything, Peeta," I look at him expectantly, waiting for his request.

"Sing me something, anything." He whispers, looking up at me expectantly.

I pause, thinking he was going to ask me to do something a little bit more intense, I guess, but I comply, "About what?"

He thinks for a moment and then pulls me closer to him, keeping his fingers on the small of my back. "Sing to be about love, about someone you love," He finally says.

"Hmm," I say, thinking about the songs my father used to sing to my mother. That's when I remember a poem my mother once wrote to my father. It wasn't meant for me to read, but I did and I memorized it easily. Before my father died, it was my favorite thing to read. I think it was meant to be a song because there are parts where there is repetition, almost like a chorus.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I begin quietly, then allow my voice to grow a little bit louder with each line that I sing.

_Remember those walls I built  
>Well, baby they're tumbling down<br>And they didn't even put up a fight  
>They didn't even make up a sound<em>

_I found a way to let you in_  
><em>But I never really had a doubt<em>  
><em>Standing in the light of your halo<em>  
><em>I got my angel now<em>

_It's like I've been awakened_  
><em>Every rule I had you breakin'<em>

I feel my voice crack with emotion. The tears come slowly, quietly, like a hunter. They burn the backs of my eyes and then finally beat me, because they start rolling down my face. _  
>It's the risk that I'm takin'<br>I ain't never gonna shut you out_

_Everywhere I'm looking now_  
><em>I'm surrounded by your embrace<em>

I feel Peeta's fingers reach out and brush the tears away from my eyes. I take a deep breath and push the words out. They are loud. They are telling Peeta everything that I never could in regular words. _  
>Baby I can see your halo<br>You know you're my saving grace_

_You're everything I need and more_  
><em>It's written all over your face<em>  
><em>Baby I can feel your halo<em>  
><em>Pray it won't fade away<em>

_I can feel your halo halo halo_  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>

I can barely go on, but I do. And I force the lyrics out, wanting to tell Peeta exactly how I feel. I want him to know that he is my everything and I cannot live without him. _  
>I can feel your halo halo halo<br>I can see your halo halo halo_

_Hit me like a ray of sun_  
><em>Burning through my darkest night<em>  
><em>You're the only one that I want<em>  
><em>Think I'm addicted to your light<em>

_I swore I'd never fall again_  
><em>But this don't even feel like falling<em>  
><em>Gravity can't forget<em>  
><em>To pull me back to the ground again<em>

_Feels like I've been awakened_  
><em>Every rule I had you breakin'<em>  
><em>The risk that I'm takin'<em>  
><em>I'm never gonna shut you out<em>

_Everywhere I'm looking now_  
><em>I'm surrounded by your embrace<em>  
><em>Baby I can see your halo<em>  
><em>You know you're my saving grace<em>

_You're everything I need and more_  
><em>It's written all over your face<em>  
><em>Baby I can feel your halo<em>  
><em>Pray it won't fade away<em>

_I can feel your halo halo halo_  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>I can feel your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>

_I can feel your halo halo halo_  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>I can feel your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>Halo, halo<em>

_Everywhere I'm looking now_

I close my eyes harder, trying to keep the tears locked inside of me because I don't want Peeta to think this is upsetting me. It is just that I love him. _So much.  
>I'm surrounded by your embrace<br>Baby I can see your halo  
>You know you're my saving grace<em>

_You're everything I need and more_  
><em>It's written all over your face<em>  
><em>Baby I can feel your halo<em>  
><em>Pray it won't fade away<em>

_I can feel your halo halo halo_  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>I can feel your halo halo halo<em>  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>

_I can feel your halo halo halo_  
><em>I can see your halo halo halo<em>

_I can feel your halo halo halo_

The tears finally win. I choke on a quiet sob, but force the last line out. I make myself to finish the song. The last line is barely audible, but I do sing it. I sing it for him. For this man that doesn't even realize how I need. How I would never even think to choose anyone but him. 

_I can see your halo halo halo_

When I open my eyes, I see Peeta's blue eyes are filled with tears and there are a few that have already rolled down his cheeks and landed on the pillows.

I feel my lip quivering and I press my lips against his, trying to take away all the sadness in this. When I pull away, he whispers, "Katniss, you are amazing, I could never wish for anyone else on this entire Earth."

I sniffle and laugh softly, "Peeta, I love you so much, you are my lifeline. You are never allowed to leave me again, like you did before, no matter what." I choke on another sob and the bury my face into his bare chest.

His arms encircle me automatically. They run up and down my exposed back in a soothing rhythm.

The scars from those tortured times are still there, still on his chest. They are on his hands and on his abdomen, they are everywhere. I will never be allowed to forget because of these permanent reminders. But I will also remember that we overcame those difficulties. We overcame them because of our love for each other.

I say one final thing, "I love you…" My voice is tired as I am about to fall asleep.

I just catch one last whispered phrase as the tendrils of sleep pull my into their grasp, "I love you, too, Katniss, never forget that."

* * *

><p>Early the next morning, there is the shrill ringing of the phone coming from downstairs. I hear Johanna's steps running down the stairs.<p>

I yawn and settle back into Peeta's chest. I am about to fall asleep when the door opens slowly. I sigh and lift my head up slightly. There Johanna is, holding out the phone. "It's the hospital," she says, her voice bored.

I sigh and prod Peeta's shoulder. "Peeta, get up, it's morning."

In response, he groans and opens his eyes. He pulls himself into a sitting position, but keeps the blanket covering his groin area.

I give another small yawn and roll over, knowing that if I move up anymore, my chest will be exposed. "Johanna, please bring it here."

She walks over and hands me the phone. She lowers her voice, probably so that the person the phone cannot hear, "You two are two of the fucking loudest people when you have sex."

I blush and Peeta turns his usual pinkish color. Johanna just smirks and walks out of the room.

Sighing, I hand the Peeta the phone. I hate talking to the nurses, they are so annoying because they take forever to get to the point.

"Hello?" Peeta says, sleepily. He pauses and then laughs slightly, "No it's fine, we were awake anyway." _Not. _He listens for a moment and a look of utter shock crosses his face. "O-okay…"

Suddenly the worst thought hits me. He's dead. Haymitch is dead. He is gone forever. The man that kept Peeta and me alive for so long has finally given up. Left to where ever we go after this life.

I feel my heart drop to my stomach and the tears from the night before welling up in my eyes again and Peeta says his farewell and allows the phone to drop out of his hand.

"W-what is it?" I whisper though tears. First, Cinna, then Finnick, then Prim, and now Haymitch. The one person besides Peeta and Annie I had left.

Peeta's eyes lock with mine, they are showing that the event is registering in his mind. "Katniss…" his voice trails off, "Katniss, Haymitch woke up." He allows his words to sink in, "Haymitch is alive."

* * *

><p><strong>GAHH! HAYMITCH! YOU'RE ALIVE! Anyway, things have been soooo crazy lately! I am so happy that I reached 20 chapters! Gosh, it is a milestone that is big for me, who almost stopped writing at chapter 4. But I didn't I kept pushing on. Just for this milestone, I want to ask my lovely readers to do something for me. Can you review and also comment your favorite moment in the entire story of RtF? It would mean so much to see what you all love the most. Until next weekend, or the weekend after…REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Plus…I LOVE YOU ALL! xD<strong>

**~Amber**


	21. Chapter 21

**Holy shit. I love you all so much. All of your lovely comments made my day. As of right now, I have 189 reviews, only 11 left to my 200 goal! Wow! Do you all really like my writing that much? I am so flattered it isn't even funny. Right now, I would like to wish 2011 Breeders' Cup Classic winner, Drosselmeyer, a happy retirement at Winstar Farms in Kentucky. Though I would have rather had him be bred in New York for my use, I am happy he is where he deserves to be. Anyway, I hope that you all understand I am working on this on Thanksgiving. You're welcome. xD The Lebanese have descended upon our house and everything is insane. I needed a little time for me and my lovely readers ;) Anyway, without further adieu, Chapter 21!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

* * *

><p>There is one feeling that I have always associated with happiness. It almost feels like you're having a heart attack. The happy kind. It's when my chest gets tight and I feel as if I cannot breathe without a struggle. When I need to instruct myself to inhale and exhale. It's when I talk and my voice and entire body begins shaking.<p>

Right now, I feel the tightness creeping into my chest. "He's…" I can't even finish the phrase. I feel a smile sneaking onto my lips. I suddenly feel as though my chest might explode, so I begin breathing slowly and deeply.

Peeta just stares at the bed, his face in a mask of utter shock.

I jump out of the bed and run over to the dresser. I throw open drawers and throw random clothes on not caring in any way shape or form what I am wearing. I grab Peeta a pair of boxers, a pair of jeans and a shirt and throw them at him.

When I run out into the hallway, Johanna is walking out of the bathroom. I quickly tell her what happened and ask her if she can watch Willow for the day. Obviously, she agrees and I run down the stairs. While waiting for Peeta, I finally allow myself to think of Haymitch and that I have him back.

Soon, I'll be able to hear him laugh, see his eyes, listen to his voice, feel his touch, know he is safe. I feel the smile making its way back onto my lips. Peeta's footsteps reach my ears and when I see him running down the stairs, still putting on his jacket, I make a break for the door.

We both take off at a run across the Victor's Village. I don't think of anything but getting there. Getting to him. Run. Run. Run. Don't look back. Run. You're almost there. Run. Peeta is right here. Run. Haymitch is alive. Run. Run.

My feet carry me, propelling me to him. The bed where he lays, waiting for us. When the hospital comes into view, I realize how much my legs are burning, and my heart is on fire. I force myself to run, though. I need to. I need to get to him. To see him.

When we run into the hospital, we have to stop at the front desk, wait in line, and then get our passes. The line moves slowly, to the point where I almost just walk away, but finally, we do get the passes, and run to the elevators.

Once the doors close behind us, I allow myself to collapse. I slide into a sitting position and take deep, gulping breaths. The elevator moves slowly at first, but it begins to pick up speed, going passed floor after floor.

When it finally stops, the doors open with a _ding _and release us.

I stand, my legs shaking, and step out of the elevator. I begin the walk that I have made so many times before. Times when I thought that I might never take this walk again. But now I know, I will be making this walk again, I will take it to see Haymitch every day until he's recovered.

Peeta quickly slides his fingers through mine, and squeezes my hand reassuringly.

At this moment, I am so happy that I have Peeta right beside me. As we walk up the Haymitch's door, I hesitate. I have no idea what waits for us behind this door. It could be anything. Peeta stops as well, giving me a moment. Taking a deep breath, I steel myself and push open the door with my free hand.

I am surprised when I see only a few doctors checking Haymitch and his usual nurse trying to coax some food into him.

That is when my eyes lock onto him. He is sitting up in his bed, propped up by pillows. He has a frustrated look on his face with his arms crossed over his chest. His hair is scraggly, not that it usually isn't, but right now, it looks different, somehow.

I don't if I was expecting him to wake up and be exactly like before, or something along those lines. But what I see next shocks me.

Haymitch starts shouting in garbled speech and waves his hands around above his head, knocking his tray of food off the stand beside him.

The nurse quietly begins to try and calm Haymitch down, and Dr. Mardia walks over to us, she is smiling and looking as happy as ever. "Katniss, Peeta, I am pleased to see you on such a happy occasion."

I raise my eyebrows, "What's wrong with him?" I don't care if the question is point blank, I just need to know.

The doctor just chuckles, "This is totally normal, he has been in a vegetation state for almost three weeks, his brain and muscles have not been used at all throughout that time, so he will go through therapy, physical and mental," she ushers us out of the room. "Mr. Abernathy's recovery should be quite quick, but we also think he should be put up for a liver transplant because his hasn't failed yet, but it is in pretty bad shape."

I squeeze Peeta's hand and try to keep a hold of this turn of events. "What are the risks to that type of surgery?" I try to keep my voice steady, but it shakes as I speak.

Dr. Mardia smiles reassuringly and then says, "It was previously quite risky," she must see my concerned expression, because she quickly comforts me, "But nowadays, with all of the medical innovation, it is quite routine, and should go smoothly."

I let out a breath of relief, "Are you sure?" When she nods, I allow myself to think of the future. Where Haymitch will be there. With Peeta, Willow and me.

She places one of her hand on my shoulder and then glances at the door, "Would you like to see him? You can help him with eating."

I chew on my lower lip and then look over at Peeta, who is obviously leaving it up to me, allowing me to choose whether we see him or wait until his rehabilitation is finished. I know I won't be able to face him until he is mentally normal, so I decide to go help him eat once.

When I nod, Dr. Mardia leads us back into the room slowly, she begins speaking in a slow, calm voice, "Haymitch, do you know whose here to see you? It's Katniss and Peeta. They have been here almost every day. Do you remember them?" She pauses and Haymitch lets out a grunting noise. "Can Katniss help you eat?" She asks, her voice has a low, soothing tone to it.

Haymitch pauses for a second, and then mumbles something unintelligible. I guess it is a yes, because Dr. Mardia gestures for me to sit in the chair beside his bed.

When I do, Haymitch looks at me skeptically, but doesn't make any noises. The nurse hands me a new tray of food. I set it in my lap and then take a deep breath. I settle for grabbing the spoon and scooping up a small piece of gelatin. Holding it out to him, I wait.

His hand moves slowly. Painstakingly slowly. When he finally grabs the spoon, he grasps onto it so hard, that I am forced to let go. He moves it toward his mouth, but right as he is opening his mouth, his hand has a muscle spasm and the spoon falls out of his hand.

He shouts loudly and is about to go off again, but I quickly grab the spoon and talk in the calm voice that Dr. Mardia used, "Haymitch, it's okay, we can fix it." I brush the gelatin off the covers and into my hand. I drop it into the trash can next to me and then look back up at him, "See? No big deal, no worries."

He watches me closely and then allows me to hold the spoon out to him again, with another small amount of the jelly substance on it. His fingers curl around the base and he lifts it up to his mouth. After a moment's pause, he puts it into his mouth and swallows. Pulling the spoon out of his mouth, he smiles triumphantly. He says something in his mangled speech, and beams broadly.

I laugh and nod, "Good job, Haymitch, you did it!"

There is something worming its way into my heart as I help Haymitch take a sip of his drink and give him another bite of food. It takes me a few moments to realize what it is, but I do know what it is. Hope.

* * *

><p>We stayed with Haymitch until visiting hours were over and were told that visitation was no longer allowed for coma recovery patients so that they can focus on treatment. When we heard that, Peeta and I gave them an ear full so we are permitted to visit him once a week for twenty-five minutes.<p>

Walking home was much easier than our sprint over, but when we walk into the house, I still stumble blindly over to the couch. Collapsing onto the couch, I sigh and pat the spot next to me for Peeta to sit down.

When he complies, I kick my shoes off, curl my legs up underneath and rest my head on Peeta's strong, dependable chest. Hearing his steady heartbeat, I sigh and close my eyes, just allowing the peace and quiet of the moment to soak in.

Of course this is the exact moment that Johanna chooses to come bounding down the stairs, shouting for Clayne to come down, too.

I let out a low groan as she walks into the room. Willow sits perched uncomfortably in her arms.

"Katniss, take Willow, Clayne and I want to go out for a little while." Johanna practically drops Willow into my arms. "And don't bother us for the rest of the night." She gives me a pointed look and I sigh. Of course.

Nodding, I adjust Willow's position in my arms, "Okay, but don't be too loud when you get back."

She just gives me a _'Don't worry about it' _gesture and follows Clayne out.

I sigh and stand, "I'm going to go get Willow a bottle from the kitchen, you want anything?"

"No, thanks," Peeta says calls after me. As I walk out of the room, I hear the TV spring to life, blaring a Capitol report across the entire lower floor.

Carefully shifting Willow's position in my arms, I open the freezer and pull out a small bottle of milk. I pause, deciding my plan of action, and then walk over to the cabinet, pulling out a small pot. I fill it with warm water and set it on the stove. I allow the bottle to sink into the water and turn the stovetop on.

Willow stretches open her small mouth in a large yawn. When she looks up, she begins to giggle and snuggles herself into my chest.

Walking back over to the stove, I carefully pull the bottle out of the water and check to make sure it is the right temperature. I quickly screw the correct top onto the bottle and walk into the living room.

Once I walk in, Peeta immediately vies to hold Willow, "Come on, Katniss, I can feed her, I know how to." He tries to give me a convincing look, but it just looks like his face is contorting.

"Peeta, that stupid face is not helping your case," I say, trying to keep a straight face, but I begin laughing and sit down on the couch. "Now, sit down so I can see if you really do know how to do this masterful art."

Sitting down next to me, Peeta holds out his arms.

I sigh and set the bottle down on the coffee table next to us. Cautiously, I put Willow in the correct position for feeding. When Peeta tries to shift her upwards a little bit, I slap his hand, "Hey! Keep your arm down!"

"But it is uncomfortable." He grumbles, probably as unused to the feeling as I was when I first began breast feeding Willow.

"Well, if you want all the blood to rush to her head, then shift that arm up." I hiss. He keeps his right arm down. Shifting his left arm upwards a little bit, I deem him ready.

"Now, you can't tilt is straight up. It will flood her mouth and she might choke. Hold it on a little slant so that it is still streaming, but she needs to work for it a little." I explain slowly so that he doesn't get confused. "You also can't shift your arms, try keeping them as still as possible so that she doesn't stop feeding to adjust herself."

I pause for a moment, allowing him to absorb this piece of information, "You also can't talk to her, coo, shake, etcetera. She gets easily distracted and will try to stop eating and play with you." I take a deep breath. I grab the bottle and look up at him. "Got it?"

Peeta just stares at me for a second, and then shakes his head, as if to clear it, "Yeah, totally, simple enough." He carefully shifts Willow a little bit so that he can grab the bottle for my hand. He positions the bottle right in front of Willow's lips so that she can easily grab it with her mouth.

She pauses for a moment, and then happily begins sucking away on the bottle. Snuggling closer to Peeta's chest, she curls her small fingers around small ,portions of his shirt. The same thing she does with me.

Peeta looks up at me, a looks of pride and love on his face and Willow sucks away at the milk. He glances down at Willow, who has slowed down on eating, savoring each sip. Keeping his voice low, Peeta says, "Can you go upstairs and get me my notebook?"

I nod, "Sure, where is it?"

"It's in the drawer next to my night table, if it's not there try looking at the underneath my pillow." He explains and then allows his attention to re-focus back onto Willow.

I jog up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. I walk past Johanna's room and glance in. The covers are in a tangled mess on the floor and there are different articles of clothing strewn across the floor.

Smirking, I just keep walking and into our bedroom, which is no better. Our sheets are wrinkled and tossed sloppily onto one side of the bed, obviously done by the bodies of two people who were much less concerned about the whereabouts of their bed covers and much more preoccupied with each other. Almost all of my clothes are messily thrown across the far side of the room, where as Peeta's clothes are neatly stacked inside his drawers in the dresser.

Walking over to Peeta's night table, I pull open the drawer and a see a small notebook laying on top of his sketchpad. I carefully place his pens and pencils next to his sketchpad and grab the notebook. I open the cover slowly and look inside.

I am surprisingly met with dates from almost seven years earlier. Peeta's handwriting is exactly the same, his words are written in their usual perfect script. I allow my fingers to run the way down the pages.

I sit down on the edge of the bed and flip the pages. There are short poems accompanied by drawings. One drawing in particular catches my attention. It is of me. Though it isn't as meticulously done as his drawings from more recently, I have a feeling he was trying to get it down as quickly as he could so that he could remember how I looked.

I am noticeably younger. My head is bent over the book in front of me, my braid resting on my shoulder. The way that the picture is drawn, it looks as if there are rays radiating off of me. I allow my fingers to run over the picture.

My eyes move over to the words next to the drawing and they melt my heart.

_This is Katniss Everdeen._

_And she is perfect._

_I am in love with her._

_But she does not know that I exist._

_And probably never will._

_She probably loves someone else._

_But she will always hold my heart._

I flip the pages forward and see poems and drawings about many different things, but the thing I see most is my face, my name, me everywhere.

One poem catches my attention. It has two young people sitting down. Their lips are connected, as well as their hands, which you can see sitting in the boy's lap.

They are obviously us. The girl has a dark braid falling down her back and the boy has barely shaded in hair, with a few dark strands.

Looking at the date, I see it is probably a few days after we were crowned victors of the 74th Hunger Games. I decide that it has to be before we got on the train, or maybe while we were on the train, just before I told him I couldn't figure out my feelings.

Half of me is saying that this is wrong, I am invading Peeta's privacy and that these things were only meant for his eyes, not anyone else's. But, the other half is whispering for me to read on. Find out his thoughts, understand him better.

The second half must win out, because my eyes seems to drift upward on their own and begin reading the poem. The words burrow their way into my mind. Imprinting themselves there for all time.

_Sittin' here with you so close to me  
>It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe<br>Caught up in this moment  
>Caught up in your smile<em>

I feel myself smiling, thinking of Peeta's soft smile that he uses when he's nervous. The way he smiles a few times, and can't make eye contact with the person he is smiling at.

_I've never opened up to anyone  
>So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms<br>We don't need to rush this  
>Let's just take it slow<em>

I allow my fingers to run their way down the page, as if they are feeling the words, permitting me to know these words in every way. 

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
><em>Just a touch of the fire burning so bright<em>  
><em>No I don't want to mess this thing up<em>  
><em>I don't want to push too far<em>

I think of the way that Peeta was in the arena and afterward when we were "madly" in love, those days on the Victory Tour, the nights on the train, the weeks before and during the Quell, and the months before our marriage. He always made sure that I knew how he felt about me. But he never tried to push anything except that one time before we got married when we slept together. Pushing myself to read on, I continue absorbing the words on the page, wanting to remember them forever. _  
>Just a shot in the dark that you just might<br>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life  
>So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight<em>

_I know that if we give this a little time_  
><em>It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find<em>  
><em>It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right<em>

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_  
><em>Just a touch of the fire burning so bright<em>  
><em>No I don't want to mess this thing up<em>  
><em>I don't want to push too far<em>  
><em>Just a shot in the dark that you just might<em>  
><em>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life<em>  
><em>So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight<em>

_No I don't want to say goodnight_  
><em>I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams<em>  
><em>Tonight<em>

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight  
>Just a touch of the fire burning so bright<br>No I don't want to mess this thing up  
>I don't want to push too far<br>Just a shot in the dark that you just might  
>Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life<br>So baby I'm alright, let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight_

The words touch my heart in a way that few things on this Earth can. They lift me up and make me feel loved. I hear Peeta coming up the stairs, so I quickly close the book. I stand and begin walking out of the room.

Willow squeals when she sees me and reaches out her hands, babbling incoherently. Peeta sighs, "You are obviously the chosen parent." His voice is mock-depressed.

Laughing, I walk up to them and pull Willow out of Peeta's arms. "Hello, Miss Willow, how are you?" She gurgles and buries her face into my chest. I hand Peeta the notebook and begin walking down the stairs.

I silently vow to myself that I will read more from that notebook later.

* * *

><p>Keeping my head bent over the page that I am working on, I glance over at Willow who is out cold in her baby seat next to the desk I am seated at in the study.<p>

I take a deep breath and continue writing about how Finnick could manipulate a length of rope next to the perfectly formed picture of him sitting down in what looks to be the rebel camp we stayed in before our unauthorized mission into the Capitol.

Feeling the tears burning the backs of my eyes, I force myself to finish the sentence that I am working on and close my eyes. I cover them with my hand and allow a few silent tears to slip out of the eyes.

Why did he have to leave? Why? Annie needs him so badly. Why did I lead him into that terrible place where he will never leave…

I hear someone clear their throat and I start. When I look up and am surprised to see Clayne standing in the doorway.

He is glancing around awkwardly as I stand and brush the tears from my eyes, swallowing the rest down. "Sorry, I was just…" my voice trails off as I think of Finnick again. I feel the tears coming back, so I clamp my eyes just and force them back down.

"It's fine, I can just eat later…" He says and begins walking away.

"No," I say, trying to hold it together. "It's fine, I can make you something." I gesture for him to follow me. Walking down the hall, I ask over my shoulder, "Is Johanna still asleep?"

"Yeah, I think so." He says, keeping his voice quiet.

I nod and turn into the kitchen, "What do you want?"

He just shrugs, "I'm fine with anything, I'm not really a picky eater."

I quickly throw together a sandwich for him and set it on a plate. I pour him some water and place the food in front of him. Pouring myself a drink, I contemplate whether to go back to the study or sit with Clayne.

I finally decide on the latter and pull out the chair next to him. Sitting down, I stare out the window.

Hearing footsteps, I know that Johanna will get pissed seeing me with Clayne, thinking I am making some sort of advance on him. I stand and walk over to the sink and begin to rinse out my cup.

Just as Johanna walks into the kitchen, I am drying the glass and setting it down on the counter. "Morning, Johanna," I say.

She nods her response and plops down into the chair that I was just sitting in and mumbles, "Coffee, please."

I let out a quiet chuckle and make her some coffee, "At least you said please." I say, playfully, but stop when I see she is glaring daggers at me. I set the coffee down in front of her and begin walking out of the kitchen.

"Thanks, Katniss," I hear Clayne say in his low, quiet voice.

"Mhm." Is my only response.

* * *

><p>I walk down the sidewalk, my hands shoved into the pockets of my coat. Fall has struck with a vengeance and it is freezing. Dark clouds have settled over the district, leaving a very sinister feeling. I tuck the lower half of my face down into the collar of my coat to cover it from the biting cold.<p>

I just wanted to get out of the house. For some strange reason, Johanna was keeping me at an icy distance. So, I decided to get some fresh air and leave Willow with them.

I am so preoccupied with my thoughts that I slam right into someone. I am about to shout some very unkind things at this person when their face clicks in my mind.

"Katniss?" Di says, the shock in her voice is evident.

I raise my eyebrows and then smile, "Di? Oh my gosh! I can't believe that it's you!"

We both step closer to the line of stores so that the streams of people don't need to walk around us. More like slam into us and push us away.

"How have you been?" she asks, sounding like she truly cares.

"I've been amazing!" I say, smiling, "Peeta and Willow are doing great, too."

"That is great." She says. We both pause for a moment, observing the area around us.

"Oh! How is the stable? Do you still run it?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Yup, it's still going, thankfully, I still have one pupil who didn't ditch me." She winks when I blush, "Thom is at a fairly advanced level right now. He actually competes in shows around Panem, hence why you probably haven't seen him in a while."

I nod, thinking about how I didn't even notice Thom wasn't around much. "That is so great! Is he doing well?" I really want to know, Thom was a good friend before I kind of closed myself off from everyone but Peeta.

"Oh yes, very well, actually. Being an equestrian is actually spreading. There are a few people asking to take lessons and such, so I am interviewing them and such because technically, I have a racehorse in my barn, so I should be travelling across the country at any point." She has a playful gleam in her eyes.

"Oh, gosh, I totally forgot about that! I am so sorry, really, I just didn't…" my voice trails off. I've had all the time in the world lately.

Di chuckles, "Katniss, it's fine, I've been working Stargazer by myself with the help of Thom when I need him. But now that he is travelling a little more than he was before, I could use some help." She pauses, as if letting this sink is, "Would you be willing to come back? Help me? You could be the official exercise rider, and if you meet the requirements, you could be Star's official rider."

I lean against the window of the shop behind me and think for a moment. I think of Star. His image is slightly muddled in my mind. I can't remember him very well, seeing as I've had a lot happen since I last saw him, and that was only the first time I saw him. I vaguely remember him being quite tall and dark. I think about how I do nothing during the days except feed Willow, clean the house, and sleep with Peeta. I need something for me. And me only. So I go out on a limb. "Sure, Di, I'd love to."

She raises her eyebrows, as if she was expecting me to say no, "Really?" The excitement in her voice is evident.

I nod, "Totally, I need something for myself."

"Great! Can you come by tomorrow so that you can see how Star has progressed and such?" She asks, by the tone of her voice, she needs me.

I laugh and nod, "Sure Di, but I have one quick question." When she gestures for me to go ahead, I say it, "Well, I have a family now and I need an income just like Peeta, so after I learn everything again, do you think that maybe, you could hire me?" I am expecting a no, so I brace myself.

I am pleasantly surprised, "Well, if you are a good enough worker, I don't know why!" She says, laughing, as if me asking this is crazy.

I smile, "Thank you, Di, it really means a lot." I glance at the clock on top of the new Justice Building, "I'd better go see Peeta," I say, "Thank you so much, Di!"

"See you tomorrow, Katniss, please get there a little bit early." She adds the last bit over her shoulder as she is walking away.

I break out down the sidewalk in a jog, nearing the bakery, feeling my heart swelling with excitement. I finally get something to myself. Something that could be mine and mine only. I think of feeling Star's body underneath me again and a smile breaks across my face.

This is going to be something exceptional. I can feel it.

* * *

><p><strong>Le gasp! More horses! So on that note, I would like to say two things. One, with this development, yes, I am adding horses back into this fic. I got advice from multiple people on here and Deviant Art that I should follow my passion and do what I love. So I followed my heart decided to add them back in. If you don't like it, you are welcome to stop reading. I am the author and I decide where this fic goes. I am sorry if this seems point blank and all, but I want to follow my own desires. Don't worry though, they will be a background type thing. Not foremost. They will be secondary to Peeta, Willow and Katniss. Second, I would like anyone who happens to be reading this to bow their heads for a moment and send up a silent prayer for Irrefutable, Cloud Man, B Z Warrior, Galex, Back Street Heat, and General Maximus. They all died on the racetrack this weekend. When each of them died, a tear was shed throughout the horse racing world. Irrefutable and Cloud Man truly it home because I loved them as racehorses. Please pray for them that they may run free in heaven where they are finally at peace. I am sorry if my note isn't as peppy as usual, it is just that I am very upset about these horses. They will be truly missed. If you would like to read my tribute to them, please follow this link~ .com It is the journal entry that is a little lower on the page. May they Rest in Peace…**

**With love,**

**Amber**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey dears ;) I have had a wonderful week. Not much to do with reviews though, since I have only had about 10, which I usually get 12-15, up to 17 in a good week. But, I guess you live with what you get. At least my prediction was correct about the horses, less people have read/commented. Anyway, enough of my petty problems since I highly doubt many of you care, if any at all. I don't know how much longer this is going to last, but I guess that I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I just wanted to warn all of you. Maybe at some point I'll get a burst of genius or something. But I don't think I'll make it to 30 chapters, though that would be really amazing. I just really need to work on my original works and try to get them published, so updates will probably come every other week now, there may even be a 2 week gap between updates. I just am super busy with my real life, being a mother of two isn't easy. And like I said, working on something that will earn me money and support my family is my main goal. I am also thinking about getting into training, maybe see if there are any trainers needing an assistant or something lower, I don't know, all I know is that my family comes first. I love you all and I am sorry to let you down, it is the last thing that I ever wanted to do, I love each and every one of you. Anyway, sorry to put all this on you when I am about to begin a chapter, but here is all that you guys care about, Chapter 22. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

* * *

><p>"Katniss?" I hear Johanna's voice from the hall, drifting into the kitchen where I am sitting with my fingers wrapped tightly around a ceramic cup, clinging to it as if it is my life line and without it I will die.<p>

When she steps into the room, I look up at her. "Yeah?" my voice is hollow as I speak. My mind has wandered while I was doing my usual morning routine, which keeps me sane. I had begun thinking about everything that has happened in the last years. How empty my life was. How everyone I loved left me, either through death or their own choice. I imagined if my life was still that way, and I immediately began falling down, down into darkness without the people that light my life.

She sits down across from me and crosses her arms, leaning back. "Well, I just wanted to talk to you about something."

I shake my head slightly, clearing it and give Johanna my full attention, "Okay, sure, what do you want to talk about?" I ask, trying to sound interested, when I truly don't want this to turn into another chat session where all she does is talk about how amazing Clayne is.

"Well, as you have probably noticed, I have been here for a while." She begins, her voice is steady, but I can tell by the look on her face that she is either nervous or excited. When I nod in reply, she takes a deep breath, "Well," she lets out a shaky breath, "Clayne, well the other day we were talking a little bit on the phone and we just started talking about the future and stuff, and he just...proposed, right there on the phone."

I raise my eyebrows, shocked to hear this. I knew that Johanna really liked Clayne and he really liked her, but for some strange reason, this news surprises me. Maybe it's because I always thought Johanna would never open her heart to someone enough to actually get married. "He proposed?" I repeat, allowing it to sink into my brain. "Just like that, right over the phone?"

She blushes slightly and nods, "He's not really one to care about being formal when doing things, so I guess he just kinda threw it out there like it was nothing because that is what Clayne does."

I nod, "Well, that is really amazing Johanna, really, I am so proud that you actually found someone." A comfortable silence settles over us. Taking a sip of my coffee, I glance out the front window, watching as the world goes by.

People walk by, some I know, such as Greasy Sae and a few of the groundskeeper whom I am familiar with, and others, whom I have no idea who they are, such as people younger than Peeta and I, and older people who look very official like, but not Capitol official like, District 12 official like.

I sigh, listening to Peeta upstairs. He is feeding Willow in her nursery after he roped me into letting him do this for two of her four daily feedings. Now, as I listen to my husband move, caring for our beautiful daughter, I allow my thoughts to drift to thoughts of her. I am slightly shocked that she is almost a year old. My baby, a year old. It is almost fanatical to think about it.

Johanna clears her throat, calling me back to reality. "So, we were discussing where we wanted to live, and a few places came up. Including Home, District 7, or…here." She glances up at me, but then back down at her hands, which are neatly laced together.

"Here?" I ask, stunned. Johanna made it quite clear a few times that we have brought up her living arrangements, that she hated District 12 because it was so grimy, as she put it.

"Yeah, I mean this place has really grown on me, and District 7 has such…bad memories associated with it. I really feel at home here, with you and Peeta, and I really have no one in District 7 besides Clayne who really cares if I am there or not." She talks quickly, as if she just wants to get the words out before she can actually think about what she is saying to me.

"Johanna, really?" I say, a smile creeping onto my lips, "That would be amazing if you moved here." I pause and then glance at her, "You would live in another house, right?" I hated asking this, but Peeta and I _were _a young couple and we _did_ deserve our privacy.

She chuckles and nods, "Yes, we'd try to find our own place."

I laugh slightly and nod, "Yeah, Johanna, that would be great, but if you decide to move to District 7, don't let me sway you. This is totally your decision. It is your life we're talking about."

She nods, "I know, don't think that I would let you sway me anyway." She gives me a playful smile and stands up. When she reaches the door, she turns her head and looks at me, "Katniss, I hope you don't mind that I kind of consider you my little sister now." She says, quietly.

I look at her face, just to make sure that she is serious, and then nod, "Don't worry, I think of you as my older sister, since I never had the privilege of having one."

She just lets out a breath through her nose and smiles, turning her head away and walking out of the room.

* * *

><p>Letting out a yawn, I sigh and stretch my arms out above my head. I barely slept the night before because my night was ravaged by nightmares of flames and mutts and death. Just to top it all off, I have to be at Di's in less than thirty minutes.<p>

Rubbing my eyes, I lift Willow into my arms. Johanna went for a nap, so I am going to drop Willow off at the bakery with Peeta. I called him and he told me that it was a slow day, so he could handle her.

Willow lets out a high-pitched squeal and squirms around in my arms. She leans forward and looks down at her toes. This seems to be the grandest thing and she bursts into a giggling fit. Once I smile, she immediately gathered all the strength in her neck and slams her head into my chest.

I grunt and grit my teeth. This does not seem to affect her in any way because she just begins bobbing her head from side to side, drooling.

I close my eyes and slide her into the baby carrier. Besides a protesting squawk, she doesn't really defy being put into restraints. I carry her into the living room and slide on the boots that Di gave me. She told me that I should always wear them because they were made for riding. They fit a little strangely and squeak softly when I walk. I would much rather wear my hunting boots, but Di is the expert, so I listen to her.

Wrapping my fingers around the carrier's handle tightly, I hoist Willow into the air and walk out the front door. I lock the door behind me, just in case, and then begin my trek to the bakery. I wave to Greasy Sae as I pass by her house, where she is sitting on the front porch knitting or sewing something. I never really pictured her that sort of person, but I guess no one would guess I rode horses, either.

I walk down the tree lined path to the Victor's Village. The trees have almost lost all of their leaves and they lay in a beautiful carpet of reds, yellows and oranges on the ground, crunching underneath my boots.

There are a few stronger leaves that are still trying to cling to the branches, trying to stay alive, keep going. I am surprised something can have that much will to live. I know I didn't for a long time. I actually wanted to die. Wanted to slip quietly out of this life, leave it all behind and go be with all my loved ones who have already left me.

I glances down underneath the covering that is protecting Willow's fragile eyes from the blazing sun and see that she is contentedly sucking on her entire fist.

Walking into town, people's attitudes towards me range of completely friendly, to being as cold as the air that laces its way around our bodies, sucking the warmth out of us.

There are a few people who do not acknowledge that I am me, Katniss Everdeen, Mockingjay, Victor, rebel, murderer, I am just a person. And to them, I am appreciative. I don't believe that I deserve any special attention, whether positive or negative. I am just like any other person on this Earth besides the fact that I have mental and physical scars that no one can match.

I sigh and walk into the bakery, a cheery tinkling overhead warns to cashier that a new customer has arrived.

While I wait for someone to come and let me in the back, I glance around. Peeta was right when he said it was a slow day. There is only one woman sitting at the counter, probably waiting for her order.

I sit down in one of the booths and turn my back to the counter. I set Willow down next to me and sigh, happy to finally be sitting down. Resting my head in my hands, I listen for Peeta's voice.

Hearing someone's footsteps, I listen. The young woman thanks whoever it is in a flirtatious voice and says "Thank you so much, really, I am sorry it was such short notice." Her tone is apologetic.

"Oh, it is fine," Peeta says, his voice sounding pleasant as I hear his ring up on the cash register. "Here is your change." He says, "Have a good day."

The woman begins walking out, but she walks over to me and leans into Willow. "Oh my goodness! Aren't you just the most adorable baby I have ever seen?" She glances at her, a broad smile on her face, "She is just gorgeous, really."

I smile, loving it when people compliment Willow. "Thank you so much," I say to her and then run my fingers over Willow's stomach, causing her to begin giggling uncontrollably. "Can you say thank you, Willow?" I ask, a smile on a face.

The woman laughs and sets down the bag her order is in and leans against the table, "Goodness, she looks exactly like you," She says and tickles one of Willow's feet.

Willow waves her arms around and giggles, her mouth opened in a toothless grin.

"Tha…" I begin, but am cut off my a sound coming from the woman's purse.

She smiles apologetically and says "She really is adorable." And fishes a phone out of her purse, and then walks out of the bakery, a tinkling of the welcoming bell signaling her departure.

I sigh, standing and carrying Willow over to the counter, where Peeta is waiting, a grin on his face, "Well, our baby sure has admirers." He says playfully.

I smile, "Yup," then set the carrier on the counter, and kiss Willow's forehead, meriting a small babble from her mouth and a smile. "I'll be at Di's until two, if you need me, call the stable." I say.

"Got it." He says and grabs my hand pressing my cool fingers against his warm lips.

I laugh and then say, "I'll see you later, Peeta." I pause and then with a smile I add, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Katniss, I'll take care of her don't worry." He adds with a playful tone to his voice.

I walk out of the bakery, waving to him over my head and depart to Di's, which is just across town. I hug my jacket closer to my body, trying to keep the warmth inside my body.

I had only been to Di's the previous day and I didn't even get to ride Star. I first had to ride a mare named City's Holiday to get used to being on a racehorse again. But Holi, as Di so affectionately called the dark brown mare with a white splash on her forehead, had to be at least 15 and wasn't really very much of a challenge.

Di told me that Holi was her pride and joy and put her on the map as a horse trainer in the Capitol. This mare won millions for her in races and only lost a handful of times, never finishing worse than third. She told me that Holi used to be a real speed demon. I partially believe that because Holi has the same flame in her eye that Star does when someone is riding her.

I see Di's stable rise up in the fall landscape and try to pick up my pace to a jog, but am rewarded with another yawn. I slow down to a walk and take my time getting up to the stable.

Once I walk in, I jog down the barn aisle, not caring about Di's 'no running' rule or the protesting that my entire body is doing. I feel a smile spread across my face when I see Star's stall. I walk over and glance at his name plate. The bold letters look imposing. When you look at them you immediately think he is something special. I run my fingers over the cool surface and whenever my fingers go over a letter, they sink into the metal grooves.

**Stargazer**

**Star Dancer-Raising Yatta by Zen's Yacht**

I smile and look up into his stall. I see his large black figure facing the back corner with his head down. I laugh quietly and tap against the stall door, which startles him awake.

He raises his head and looks around alertly, his ears swiveling towards the source of the noise, my fist. Craning his neck to look at me, he lets out a snort and turns around. He takes his time walking across the stall until he finally hangs his head out of the half of the stall door.

I stroke his face and scratch underneath his chin. "Hey, boy, how are you today?" I ask. My response is him looking up at out of the corner of his eye and flicking his ears. I take this as a good response and look around for a free pair of cross ties.

Once I locate a pair, I clip a lead rope onto his black halter and lead him out of the stall. When he walks out into the aisle, he strikes the ground with his hoof and tosses his head, yanking the lead rope through my fingers, almost causing it to slip out of my hand.

I quickly grasp it harder and tug him forwards lightly. He snorts in defiance and prances sideways, pulling me over again. I guess having only ridden him once, I never found out about his bad habits. He is very bad on the ground, obviously. And his size truly doesn't help. He has probably grown another half a hand, which has to put him over 17 hands at his shoulders.

He tugs at me, pulling me back towards his stall, where he knows his food is waiting. I sigh and dig my feet in, pulling him towards the cross-ties, which are only a few feet away. When I finally get him there, I clip him in and go to the tack room.

After grabbing his saddle and bridle, I snatch a helmet off the wall and walk back over to him, where he is stretching out his nose to a mare that is across the aisle from him. I sigh and tug on the lead line, forcing him to focus on me.

Once I settle the saddle on his sleek black back, I slip the racing halter equipped with a small roll on the noseband so that he can't be spooked by shadows. Di told me it was called a shadow roll, which I guess makes sense.

I slip the black halter off over his head and hang it on the hook next to his stall. I let out a breath. New horse. Perfect. I grab the reins and tug lightly.

Star quickly jumps into a trot and practically drags me out of the barn and into the streaming sunlight. The frosty air nips at my face as a blast of wind flies through the air.

I shiver and zip my jacket up tighter around my body. Taking a deep breath, the cold air rushes into my lungs. Star tugs against the reins and I allow him to begin walking towards the small oval of a racetrack Di had put in to exercise him.

I see Di sitting on the rail, waiting for me, her face turned to face the oncoming sun.

Once he sees Di, Star begins tugging against the reins and flicks his tail impatiently.

"Di!" I says, calling her back to reality.

She jumps, but then turns, "Hmm?" she replies.

"Leg up." I say and nod to Star, who is stretching his nose out to Di, who walks over and strokes it. I grip the reins and slip my foot into the right stirrup. Di cups her hands and hoists me into the saddle. I land easily and settle into it. It feels great.

"Okay, now, when you get him out there, start him at an easy canter, and warm him up for about a quarter mile," she explains as I buckle my helmet and nod at her instructions, "After that, give him some heat and let him full out gallop for about three quarters of a mile, and then slow him down to a slow gallop for a half mile and then to a trot over to me." She checks to make sure I am following and then smacks my boot that is shining in the fall sun and points to the opening onto the track, "Well, let's see how fast this boy can go." She tugs a timer out of her shirt and lets it hang around her neck.

I take a deep breath, sucking in the cool morning air and tap Star's sides. He responds with a springy trot and shakes his head, sending his black mane flying. I sigh and guide him onto the track where his hooves pierce the dirt for the first time. Each step he takes unearths some dirt and changes it, leaving his mark.

Glancing over at Di, she gives me a thumbs up and nods for me to canter him. I flick the reins and stand slightly in the saddle, allowing him to begin his warm up.

He immediately jumps into a canter and takes even strides around the track. The world disappears and all that is left is me and the beautiful animal.

After he warms up, he tugs against the reins, ready to run.

Glancing at Di, she nods, her finger on the timer. I take a deep breath and squeeze my legs against Star's sides. He immediately takes hold of the bit and stretches out into a flowing gallop.

The wind whips me in the face and I squint my eyes. Star thunders down the track, his hooves pounding into the dirt of the track. The entire world flies by me, disappearing. Everything leaves me and the only thing I can process is how amazing this is.

The one thing that stands out in my vision is the small red and white poles flying by me, and I know that they mark parts of a mile and I have already passed three. I assume that each one marks a quarter mile, so I begin trying to pull Star up.

He immediately fights me and throws his head down and fights me. He wants to keep running. That is all that he wants. He wants to do what he was born to do. So I let him. I ignore Di's shouts for me to slow him down and release him. He instantly sprints off, taking me away with him.

He has to gallop for at least a mile and a quarter before he even begins breathing harder.

I begin to pull back on the reins, standing high in the saddle, tugging back. Star snorts and skids sideways, stopping on a dime, almost sending me flying off the saddle.

I am laughing and smiling, patting Star's sleek black neck and having the time of my life until Di starts shouting at me. "Katniss! What the hell was that?" She shouts.

I never pictured Di as the sort of person that would get worked up easily, but I guess assumptions can be wrong. "I galloped him out." I say, slightly defensively.

"No." She says through gritted teeth, "You ran him an extra half mile, even after I told you specifically to only do three quarters." She looks up at me and must see how upset I am beginning to get and softens her voice, "Katniss, he is only three, not even, he doesn't turn three for another month. Young horses shouldn't do such strenuous work when their bones are still so weak." She sighs, "Katniss, he could have broken a bone and then he would have had to be put down."

I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head. "Put down? As in bedded for the night."

She lets out a shaky breath and shakes her head, "No Katniss, horses bones are very delicate and if he broke one, I don't have the money to get him a fusing surgery which costs upwards of twenty thousand dollars. I would have to ask the vet to inject him with a poison so that he wouldn't suffer."

I gasp and stare at her in horror. The fact that I could have just killed him is like a slap across the face. No one actually did, of course, but I actually feel physical pain in my chest. I immediately jump out of the saddle and run around the face Star. I press my forehead against Star's and close my eyes. "I am so sorry, boy." I whisper, feeling a rush of dozens of different emotions ranging from disgrace to elation that nothing happened to him.

Di pats my back and just sighs, "Katniss, as my jockey you need to listen me, okay? I have been working with horses since I was a young girl and know what to do with them."

I nod and bite down on my lower lip, holding the onslaught of tears I feel coming. I kiss Star's nose and stroke between his almond shaped eyes.

He rewards me with him running his face against my chest, extracting a soft laugh from me. He lowers his head low enough that I can look down and him as he presses his head into my stomach. When he looks up at me with those beautifully innocent eyes, I see a small spark. A spark of love. The love of running. Of racing.

I kiss him between his eyes and over at Di, "I will do anything for this boy." I say, squeezing the reins between my fingers. "I will never let anything happen to him."

* * *

><p>I swing my feet around, allowing them to lightly brush the ground as I sit on the examination table at Dr. Belstin's office. I had been having rampant back pain for the past day or two, so much so that I couldn't even ride Star.<p>

Peeta finally convinced me to go see the doctor this morning when I could barely get out of bed without screaming in pain.

I sigh and lean back on my hands. He decided to take a urine sample just in case my back pains were masking something with my kidneys or something.

Yawning, I sigh and rest my feet against the table. When the door opens automatically, sliding backwards, I smile politely at Dr. Belstin, who is carrying a clipboard and sits down across from me on a swiveling chair.

He takes a deep breath and looks at me, straight in my eyes. "Katniss, there was something with your sample that was quite surprising." He says and looks back down at the clipboard.

I feel my breathing pickup. What if it was my kidneys. What if I was dying as we speak. What would happen to Willow? Peeta? My breathing goes shallow as I feel sweat beginning to run down my body.

Dr. Belstin looks up at me and shakes his head, "Katniss, really, there is no need to worry. It is actually quite joyous."

I stare at him totally confused until he begins laughing through his open-mouthed smile.

"Katniss, you are carrying something along with you." He says. When I don't pick up, he takes a deep breath and stands up, looking down at me. "Katniss, you are pregnant."

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><p><strong>Gasp! Baby Mellark number 2? Yay! Joy oh joy! Sorry for the depressing author's note at the beginning of this chapter, but I just needed to tell you all. I am sorry this took me so long. Two weeks ago, I was focusing on my ever-flourishing graphics and last weekend I couldn't finish in time to post. Sorry to all who were looking forward ;) I would like to say I love you all and always will, no matter what. Sorry for the short letter, but I gotta run ;D Love y'all! Everyone have a very very Merry Christmas!<strong>

**~Amber**


	23. Chapter 23

**Do do do dooo! Hey loveys! How is everyone? I am amazing! I hope everyone had a good Christmas…New Years…Canada Day…and any other foreign holiday that I missed in the near two month span of non-updating XD I am so sorry guys, I have been insanely busy with wedding plans, the kids, writing my original works and such and a bunch of other stuff. Also, I have been obsessing about Horse Isle 2: Life Cycle XD I am a total HI nerd rofl. I am Zenyatta on there and HI2: Eternal, if anyone is on there from here XD I am also currently obsessing about Titanic all over again XD Anyway! To chapter twenty….three? I think 23 XD**

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><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

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><p>I stare at Dr. Belstin, his face moving in and out of focus as his words sink in and bounce around in my head for a few moments. My hands fall to my sides as I try to comprehend the news. I am pregnant. I am having another baby. As my brain absorbs the information, a smile spreads across my face. "I'm…" my voice trails off as my eyes shift to the floor. "I'm pregnant…" I whisper, my voice barely audible, even to my own ears.<p>

Dr. Belstin chuckles quietly, "Yes, Katniss, you are pregnant." He says, slowly, as if talking to a small child. "You are about six weeks along, not as far as your last pregnancy when you found out." He explains.

I nod and feel something settle into the pit of my stomach. It is dread. I feel it sit there, bothering me. There are very few times that I have felt this sort of dread, but I still know what it means. Something is going to go wrong. Something, I don't know what, but something will go wrong. I manage to keep the smile on my face for the rest of the appointment until I step out onto the streets of District 12.

I take a deep breath of the cold are and feel a shiver run through me as it fills my lungs. I glance down both sides of the sideway, checking the faces for Peeta, who said he'd try to make it to pick me up, but might get held up at the bakery because of a large order put in. I let out a breath and watch it swirl through the air and then disappear. Finally deciding that waiting for Peeta would be a waste of time, I merge into the crowd of people shuffling past the hospital doors. I bite my lip and stuff my hands into the pockets of my jacket, trying to regain heat into them.

My mind slowly begins to process the information of the last hour. I am pregnant. I have been for the past six weeks. As my mind wraps itself around the news, my feet automatically walk to Di's.

As I enter the barn, I take even strides down to Star's stall and peek in. He is in the back of the stall, his head down, almost brushing against the straw bedding, and his back hoof cocked as he sleeps.

I smirk and take silent steps back, even though I know my walking would not rouse him from his sleep. Walking down the aisle, I glance into each horse's stall, making sure each is in their stall and locked in.

When I reach Holi's stall, I feel something in my brain tell me to check on her. I step over to her stall and glance in. I feel my chest tighten when I see her laying on the ground and wheezing. Unbolting the stall door, I step into her stall and kneel down next to her.

I take her head in my lap and stroke her face, soothing her the best that I can. I clamp my eyes closed and force myself to think. How did Di tell me to check a horse's pulse? She had shown me when I first came, telling me to try to check if I felt something was wrong with the horse.

Suddenly it hits me and I open my eyes. Placing my two forefingers against the lower side of her law, I close my eyes again and begin counting. After about a minute, I stop. Her heart is racing. My eyes fly open as I slowly set her head back down on the straw. She lifts it up immediately, but it bobbles slightly before she lowers it so that her lower lips is just barely hovering above the ground. Her ribcage is expanding rapidly as she tries to breathe through her flared nostrils.

I jump up and race out of her stall. Once I am outside I start screaming. "Di!" I shout, my voice wavering as I feel the emotion welling up inside of me. "Di!" I scream again. The wind has picked up, carrying any loose item off, including leaves and small branches, which fly across my feet. "Di!" I cry out again, but it seems that the wind carries it off with all its other possessions, pulling it away so that no one can hear.

My heart is racing as I run to the paddock where she can usually be found, sketching the horses, but only a small buckskin mare and a taller off-white mare are turned out, both standing next to the gate, ready to get out of the biting wind, which seems to have dropped the temperature even more than it already was.

I look around frantically for anyone. It seems as though I am the only person on the property, when it should be teaming with grooms and riders. Running over to the gate, I pull it open with all the force I can muster and grab the mares' halters by the cheek straps. I check both of their names and pick up my pace to a run, causing them to break into a trot.

I run down the barn aisle, searching for their stalls, praying that they are both in this barn and not one of the others. I put the buckskin mare into her stall and search around for the nameplate labeled with the white mare's name. I chew on my lower lip and look around. That is when I see it. I jog over and pull open the stall door.

Releasing her inside, I pull off her halter and hang it up outside her stall. I give her a quick pat on the forehead before sprinting down to the other end of the barn where Holi is laying on the floor of her stall, possibly dead.

I unlock the bolt on her stall and collapse onto the straw next to her. "Holi!" I say, my voice high and cracking, "It's okay, Holi, it's okay." I say quietly, dropping the volume so I do not startle her.

She lets out a snort and looks around frantically. She suddenly tries to stand, as if moved by some urgent purpose. Her long legs scramble against the straw that is bedded her stall. She lets out a panicked whinny when she tries to get up. She pushes her front legs out and tries to force her weight onto them as she has been able to do all of her life. When they buckle underneath her weight, the whole front half of her body, collapses back onto the ground.

I gasp, feeling tears burning against the back of my eyes, watching this majestic animal who once ruled her opponents on the track, galloping gracefully, almost always coming home in front, not even able to stand anymore.

She takes a heaving breath and makes another feeble attempt to stands, but fails. The result is her laying on the ground, her large dark head falling into my lap.

Feeling my throat close up, I lay my hand on her star and run my fingers down her face, stroking her slowly, calming her down. That is when I begin talking quietly. "Oh Holi, you're such a good girl." I whisper, my voice barely audible. "You really are, you're gonna go run free," I murmur, keeping my voice low a soothing, even though my heart is being torn out. I keep my hand moving in its steady pattern, not wanting to stop.

Holi's breathing steadily gets shallower, her heart beginning to fail on her. She flairs her nostrils and sucks in as much air as she can.

I run my fingers through her forelock with one hand and stroke her dark cheek with the other. "You're such a good girl, Holi, you really are." I whisper.

She lets out a low rumble from her throat, as if anything more would kill her. Her chest is barely expanding as she breathes, the effort of fighting whatever if killing her beginning to take its toll.

I bite my lower lip and run my thumb across her cheek and whisper, my voice barely audible, even to my own ears, "Go on, now, girl, you can let go." I swallow and whisper the last words, "Go on, be free."

As if realizing I released her, Holi's chest expands once more, taking in her last breath and then her eyes slowly flutter closed.

I allow a single tear to slide out of my eye. It slides down my cheek and splashes against Holi's cheek, soaking into her dark coat. I run my fingers through her thick, winter coat. I lean down and press my lips against her white star. Pressing my forehead against hers, I let out a soft, choked sob and lift her head from my lap, placing it against the bedding softly.

Standing, I look down at Holi one last time before I begin walking out of her stall. I step over her still-sprawled-out legs and walk out of her stall. I turn around and bolt her stall door behind me, just like always and walk away from her stall.

I press my fingers against my lips for a moment before I remove them and step out into the biting wind. It is blowing furiously, whipping everything around me in a swirling motion. The sky has darkened with storm clouds overhead. I glance up before I look back at the barn and give one more silent good-bye to Holi.

The whinny of a horse fills the air from the barn across from where I stand, Holi's barn at my back. Another horse calls back, responding. Life goes on, no matter what happens. I should have learned that, already though. I really should have.

I wrap my jacket around me tighter and pull my collar up so that it covers my neck. I stuff my hands into my pockets and places them over my stomach, protecting my baby as I make my way up the winding hills in the cutting wind to Di's house to break the news.

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><p>I step into the house and shrug off my coat. I am still shaking from the cold and the hurt of telling Di about Holi. She had been out when it happened. She is sending her to get tested for what could have killed her.<p>

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta's voice coming from the living room. The sound of his steps echo through the silent house. He pokes his head into the foyer and then walks over to me. " Hey there, you," he says, a smile on his face and he wraps his arms around my waist, "Sorry I couldn't make it to the hospital, the order I was telling you about took longer than expected." He explains and presses his lips against my forehead.

I nod and push a smile out, "It's fine, I just went to the barn for a little while." I say, deciding then that I will keep Holi's death to myself. I take a deep breath and allow my hands to rest on my stomach. "Peeta," I say, my voice low.

He pulls his face back so that he can study mine, "What?" He asks, his voice filled with concern as he studies my face.

I look up at him and then back down at the stomach. "Peeta," I whisper again, my voice beginning to shake, "I am pregnant, again."

He pauses for a moment, as if allowing the statement to sink in. His features morph into a look of utter shock, as if this was the furthest thing from his mind.

I look up at his face and swallow, waiting for his reaction. For a few fleeting moment, I think he is upset with me, that I got pregnant, though I had no control over it. Suddenly the words come tumbling out of my mouth, "I am so sor…"

My words are cut off by his lips covering mine, blocking my words from coming out. His arms tighten around my waist, causing me to press against him.

When he finally pulls his lips off of mine, I see his eyes are filled with tears and he is smiling, laughing, as he kisses my forehead once more. "Katniss, that is…" his voice trails off as he begins laughing again, the glee apparent on his face. "Katniss,'" he tries again, "That is the most amazing news that I have ever heard." His voice gets quieter as if he is trying to contain himself with all his might.

I look up at him and when I see his face, I feel a smile spreading across my own face, and when he lifts me up into the air, I start laughing myself.

When he slowly puts me down and I feel the floor beneath my feet, I look up into his eyes, 'Are you really happy?" I ask, my voice low as I speak.

He stares at my in disbelief, "Katniss, how could I be upset with you for carrying our child?" He asks, incredulously.

I feel the edges of my lips tilt upwards as I leans forwards on my toes and press my lips lightly against his. "I couldn't believe it when Dr. Belstin told me." I say, "I mean I was thinking terrible horrible life threatening things when he came in with that look on his face." I say the word 'that' is such a manner that it is obviously I mean the look that doctor's get when they have bad news to relay to you. I had seen that look plenty of times on my mother's face with people who come in with hopeless situations. Like the young man who was pelted to near death in the mines by falling stones and he has sucked in so much smoke he can barely breathe. Or the young girl who cut herself on a rusted piece of metal and infection has set in with a vengeance, leaving her barely able to move.

Peeta leans down and presses his forehead against mine, so that our eyes are level with each other. His hands tightens around my waist as mine rests lightly against the back of his neck, 'How far along?" He asks, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

"About six weeks," I say, my voice quiet, as if trying not to wake the nonexistent person in our house. I know that Willow is with Greasy Sae because I, obviously was at the hospital, and the bakery was too busy for Peeta to bring her, so we opted Sae, as Johanna is nowhere to be found lately. We'll occasionally see her walking through the house in the mornings, but besides when she is in her room, we rarely see her.

"That is amazing." He whispers as he kisses me again, lightly and sweetly.

I smile again and try to push away the feeling that has been bothering me since I left Dr. Belstin's. Leaving Di's, I had thought it had to do with Holi, but it is still sitting there, like an elephant in the room, almost forcing me to acknowledge it. I keep the smile on my face and push the dread away, happy to just be standing here in this moment with my husband. _I am sure it will go away_. I think to myself. _Yeah, I am sure that it will._

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><p>The next morning, I am standing in the kitchen, facing the window, looking out onto the patch of greenery in front of the houses. The few trees have lost all of their leaves and stand tall and bare in the cool morning sun. Their highest branches looks as though they are trying to stretch their thin fingers up to the sky, to touch the sun, as though it could save them from the long, cold winter to come.<p>

The sun is warming my entire body as it streams through the window, burrowing its way into my skin. I lean my hands against the countertop and close my eyes, allowing the warmth to overcome me for a moment.

I hear the footsteps from above me, making their way to the steps, and moving down them slowly. When they enter the kitchen, I open my eyes and turn to face them. I smile.

Peeta lets out a yawn, covering his mouth with his free hand, the other holding Willow closely against his strong body. He smiles and walks over to me. Leaning down slightly, he presses his lips against mine. "Good morning, love, how was your sleep?" he asks, shifting Willow into his other arm.

I lean back against the counter, allowing the sun to beat down on my back. "It was okay," I say. He knows I woke up screaming from a nightmare, but doesn't mention it. "Now let me see my little girl." I say, smiling and reach for her.

Peeta slides her into my arms and smiles, "There we go, darling, now you hold onto Mommy." He says, playfully and pulls his arms out from underneath her so she is sitting in my arms.

Willow opens her mouth in a large mouthed yawn and buries her face into my shoulder. Her small, chubby hands find a home against me as her small fingers curl around the fabric of my shirt.

I smile and kiss the top of her head carefully. "When do you have to go to work?" I ask quietly, as I begin rocking Willow back and forth. She has a bad habit of waking up too early and then tuckering herself out for no particular reason in the morning by doing positively nothing but having her eyes open.

He shrugs and walks over to the fridge, opening it glancing around, "I don't know, I might not go in today. Since we finished that order yesterday, I think that the others can handle me not being in for a day." He says, reaching in to grab something.

I smile, "Really?" I say, keeping my voice low, wanting Willow to sleep as much as she can before the day begins.

He pulls the bottle of milk out of the fridge and closes it. He turns to me and smiles, "Mhm, you have me all day." He says, a smile spreading across his lips.

I turn and face the window again, allowing my eyes to wander around the circle of houses. I think for a moment before turning around. "I am going to go put Willow back into the nursery." I say and reach over the sink to snag the baby monitor sitting on the window sill. I turn it on and set it down on the table.

"Alright," He says, walking over to the cabinet, "I'll make some breakfast." He moves over to the fridge again and pulls it open, surveying the ingredients we have.

I move through the house carefully, taking my time to make my way up to her room. I try as hard as I can to barely jostle her, not wanting to wake her. When I gently bump the door to the nursery with my hip, I step inside. Moving over to her crib, I carefully set her down, laying her down softly.

She shifts slightly, questioningly, before she settles right back down, her breathing steady and calm as she sleeps.

I smile and walk over to her small dresser. Bending down, I pull open the largest drawer on the bottom and pull out a soft light orange blanket. I walk over to her and lay the blanket lightly over her lower body, spreading it out across her.

Grabbing the baby monitor, I turn it on and set it on the small night table by her crib. I slowly walk out of the room and close the door quietly behind me. I jog silently down the stairs. Once I walk into the kitchen, I see Peeta has begun to make breakfast. He is standing over the stove, a pan in his hand, containing whatever our breakfast is going to be.

Walking up behind him, I lean against the table and cross my arms, trying to warm myself up. "Gosh, it is so cold." I mutter and shiver slightly.

Peeta turns his head slightly, "You're cold?" He asks. When I nod, he walks over to me and wraps his arms around me tightly. His hands rest lightly against the small of my back as mine find a home around his strong neck.

Burying my face into his neck, I allow my body to absorb his warmth. We stand there for a moment until the oven timer goes off.

Peeta pulls away, but not without placing a light kiss on my forehead.

I smile and place both of my hands over my stomach. They rest there for a moment, hovering over where my baby is. I think silently about having another baby. Another pair of hands to hold. Another pair of feet to follow. Another chubby little body to carry everywhere. I smile at the thought.

Looking down at my stomach my mind begins to think about the small details. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? That doesn't matter. As long as the baby is healthy, I will be happy with anything. My mind begins to wander to different aspects of being a mother again.

I feel a smile spreading across my lips as I think about all of it.

Peeta's voice breaks through my thoughts. "What are you smiling about?" He asks, playfully.

When I look up, I see a teasing glimmer in his blue eyes. "I was just thinking about our baby." I say, truthfully and walk over to him. Leaning against the counter, I look at him. "Are you excited?" I ask him.

He sets the pan down and stares at me for a moment. "Is that even a real question?" He asks, his voice filled with shock. "Of course I am, Katniss! If I wasn't, I wouldn't be a father." He says. He wraps his arms around my waist again, abandoning the food. "Katniss, I love you, and our children, us, our love, everything." He whispers, his voice filled with sincerity.

I smile and tilt my head up, pressing my lips gently against his. "I love you, Peeta Mellark." I murmur, my voice barely perceptible.

He smiles at me and presses his forehead against mine, our breath mingling as he pauses. "I love you more than anything on this Earth, Katniss Mellark," he whispers, lowly, "And nothing could ever change that."

* * *

><p>"Haymitch! Slow down on that thing!" I snap, trying to catch up with him. He is rolling at least ten miles per hour on his wheelchair, barreling through the streets of District 12, taking out everything from a small cat sitting on the sidewalk to an older woman that he nearly plows over who is talking to a younger woman.<p>

His arms are pumping quickly, forcing the wheels to move faster. "I just want to get home." He replies gruffly without turning his face towards me.

I narrow my eyes at him and step it up a little bit quicker. When I got the call this morning that Haymitch was out of therapy and almost fully capable of doing everything that he did before, I was ecstatic. But I forgot how irritating Haymitch is fully conscious.

"Well," I begin, "I have the keys, so you're not getting in without me." I grumble and slow down. "I can't keep up this pace Haymitch, I've been running for at least two miles and was jogging for the few before that. I can't put too much stress on my body." I say, my feet carefully slowing down.

I watch the wheels on his wheelchair as he slows down, smiling triumphantly, knowing that I won. I easily make my way up beside him.

We get sidelong glances from everyone we pass. They all know who we are, what has happened, and why, but they still can't seem to let it go.

When we pass a group of three or four people staring at us and murmuring to each other, Haymitch must finally snap, "What're you looking at?" But with his slightly garbled speech, it comes out sounding like "Wha're ya loo'in at?"

They all jump and continue walking away from us.

I allow myself to smirk. Haymitch may be irritating, but he sure knows how to get rid of people. When we reach the small road to the Victor's Village, Haymitch begins to pull away from me again.

Sighing, I tolerate his speeding up. I know he just wants to get back to the home that he has been away from for so long. I wrap my jacket around my body more tightly, trying to hold in the little warmth I have left.

Peeta and I thought about inviting a few close friends to welcome Haymitch home, but we decided against him, not wanting to put any more stress on him than necessary.

When we reach the circle of houses, I glance over at our house. I see Johanna through the window in the kitchen. I am slightly shocked, seeing as she is rarely ever at the house anymore. She has been getting ready to go back to District 7 to see Clayne.

"Come on!" Haymitch snaps, irritably, "I want to get inside my house."

I jerk my head in his direction and narrow my grey eyes at him. I storm past him and up the specially built ramp on his porch. And up to the door. I fumble around with the keys. Shoving the one Peeta labeled with an 'H' into the lock, I force the door open.

"Let's go!" I bark, waiting for him to roll up the ramp.

When we walk inside, I smile at the young nurse, who has already Haymitch-proofed the house. "Hello," I say to her.

"Good day, Mrs. Mellark." She responds. When she sees Haymitch roll in, she walks right over to him. "Hello, Mr. Abernathy, I am Daisy." She says, a broad smile on her face.

He glances at me, then back at her. Without saying a word, he rolls passed her, mumbling something and moving into the kitchen.

I smirk, "You'll have to get used to him." I inform her. "Just give him some time, he'll warm up to you." After explaining this, I walk into the kitchen after Haymitch and glare at him. "Haymitch!" I hiss, lowly, "Are you seriously going to be a little bastard to the woman who gave up her social life for you?"

He glares at me, "Maybe."

I throw up my hands in exasperation and storm out of the room. I pass Daisy without a second thought and grumble as I slam the door behind me. Haymitch just gets me so angry sometimes with his habit of being so inconsiderate.

I walk across the green to our house and force open the door. Johanna is right next to the door, walking out with a water bottle in her hand. "I'll be back later." She says and walks past me, out the door.

I watch her for a moment before closing the door behind me. Making my way into the kitchen, I shrug off my jacket and toss it onto the table. I walk over to the fridge and pull it open, wanting food more than anything at the moment. Any sort of food would do.

"Ugg!" I groan, slamming the fridge shut, causing its contents to rattle inside. I glance around the counter when my eyes zero in on a tray of cheese buns on the oven. There is a small note near the edge of the oven. I lean forwards and grab it.

_Katniss,_

_These are for you, I just had a feeling you would be wanting some_

_With love, Peeta_

I smile and snag a cheese bun between my finger, lifting it up to my lips. I sink my teeth into the delicious treat, my craving suddenly satisfied.

For the next half hour, I walk around the house, boredly eating cheese bun after cheese bun. The funny thing is I never seem to get full, I always want more.

When the tray is finally empties, I set the tray in the sink and walk into the living room. Plopping myself down on the couch, I flick on the TV.

Flipping through the stations, I see nothing of interest and turn it back off. I sigh and lay down, allowing my eyes to flutter closed, letting myself drift off.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, I am awoken by screaming and the smell of smoke. I jump up and look around wildly. I calm myself when I realize that our house isn't on fire. So I walk into the kitchen and snatch up my coat, wrapping it tightly around myself and walk outside to investigate.<p>

When I step out onto the porch, I look across the green, only to see smoke spilling out of all openings in Sae's house, and growing flames lapping at the house. It takes a moment for my mind to process this, but when it does, the affect is immediate. My heart stops beating and I feel as though I cannot breathe. Suddenly I break into a sprint across the large stretch of greenery, that in this moment, seems to be never ending. I run, pushing myself to run faster, to the house. I begin screaming, my lips forming her name, over and over again.

"Willow!"

* * *

><p><strong>Ohhhhhhh God! What has Amber done, now? Idk XD Anyway, just to inform all of you, unless it says "Complete" next to the information for the story, I AM NOT DONE! I will continue writing until I post that. Just because there are *HUGE* gaps between updates, doesn't mean that I am finished writing. Because I'm not ;) I'll try writing the rest of the weekend and see if I can get another chapter up, but I might not until next weekend, so don't get your hopes up XD Anyway! Just to tell you all, I am currently in mad love with 'Titanic'. Yup, I know, you are too XD Anyway! Past my odd fixations! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!<strong>

**~Amber**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello my dear loves 3 How is everyone this fine day? I can happily say that I watched The Hunger games in theaters on March 23****rd****, 2012. It lived up to about half of my expectations. I guess it was fine, but I won't get into that now, you can read my review on my Deviant Art page. I am 4everAmber. Anyway, I am going to tell you all a little story. So as my friends and I were getting ready to go to the movie, we were getting dressed and such, and one of my closer friends suggested we listen to a song. She said it was called Don't Take the Girl. She warned us that we might cry, but I didn't think that I would because there are few songs that can make me cry, only My Heart Will Go On and Safe and Sound. So she started playing it while we were putting our make-up on and such and then my fiancée called us downstairs so that we wouldn't be late. We ran down the stairs, still listening and then stopped in the front all instead of going into the kitchen and walking out. We stood there, watching the lyrics scroll by as the song played, and I felt myself getting choked up and when I looked up see my friend crying, it sent me over the edge, I was crying for ten minutes straight. So, that will be the inspiration for a portion of this chapter. Just to throw that out there. Anyway! Without further adieu, Chapter 24!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

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><p>"Willow!" I scream, my throat beginning to burn from the acid smoke filling the air. Every breath that I take fills my lungs with the burning hot smoke that threatens to choke me every step I take closer to the burning house.<p>

The flames are now lapping up the sides of the house, destroying everything in their path. That is when my brain begins fighting against the flashbacks.

I hear the young children's voice, whimpering in the cold of the winter morning. All of them stuck, forced to be Snow's shield. I can feel their bodies pressed closely against mine, trying to retain any warmth that they can.

All of these images fight for my attention, trying to pull me down. They almost do, until I hear her cries. My head snaps up. "Willow!" I scream, the smoke burning as it rushes down my throat, pushing into my open mouth.

I run up to the door and frantically try to get it open. When I cannot, I slam into it with all my might. "Willow!" I scream. "Willow!"

I hear wailing sirens from behind me, but I ignore them, not trusting anyone but myself to get my daughter.

When I cannot get the door open, I look around frantically for a way in. I stare through the window on the door and get an idea. I run to the side of the house where I know there are some decent sized rocks. I grab one that I can carry and run over to the door again.

I take a deep breath and with all my might, I fling the rock at the window.

It flies throw the air and meets the window within seconds and shatters the glass instantly.

Running over, I slide my arm through the broken window. I feel the cool glass pressing heavily against my skin. After a moment of trying to find the lock on the other side, I feel the shards break open my skin, causing blood to flow down the glass.

I bite my lip, trying to block out the pain as my fingers fumble around for the lock. When my hand clasps the doorknob, I jump, causing the glass to cut further into my arm, but I don't care. I flip the lock and pull my arm out of the hole.

Wincing as the glass tears through my already damaged skin, I take a deep breath, and then push open the door with all my might and run into the house.

There is smoke everywhere. I can barely see three feet in front of me, but I can hear. And I hear her cries. Weaker than before, but I can still hear them. "Willow!" I scream, "Willow, I'm coming!" I run down the hallway and turn into the kitchen.

It is at that exact moment that I know the fire started in there. The flames have consumed the entire room, and their fingers are stretching toward me. I know standing still means eminent death from the flames.

I step backwards and run down the hall, coming upon the steps, I stop, looking back. The flames are moving fast, engulfing everything in their path. I charge up the stair, praying that Willow is at the top.

When I jump up the last step, I look around frantically, trying desperately to hear Willow's cries. "Willow!" I scream. "Willow!" I whip my head around and hear small, strangled cries coming from my left.

My heart is exploding, and suddenly everything is going very slowly. My mind begins getting fuzzy as the smoke begins to overwhelm me. The blazing gases set my lungs ablaze as they burn down my throat. I choke slightly and slam into the wall.

Clamping my eyes shut, I try to regain control of myself, but I am already beginning to lose my grip on the situation. A million things are fighting for my attention.

My entire body begins to shake as my mind fights to keep cool. I keep my eyes closed and fasten my teeth to my lower lip, causing blood to well up in my mouth. Turning to face the sound, I open my eyes facing the fire head on. I gasp when I open my eyes to see Prim reaching towards my, her mouth just forming my name.

"No!" I scream and run straight at her. "Prim!" My strangled cries echo through the house, the only sound able to compete with them is the crackling of the flames beneath me.

Suddenly, all I can hear is my own breathing. Everything else is gone. Until I see her. She is sitting in a small, makeshift crib, wailing. I don't hear her. Only see her. Her face is flushed and she is upset, I can see that. Anyone would be able to. Her mouth is open-wide, wailing.

In a matter of seconds, the entire world jumps into reality for me and I gasp, taking huge breaths of the blazing smoke down my throat. "Willow!" I cry out and run to her. I dive into the room and pull her into my arms. Immediately the tears spring to my eyes as I wrap my arms around my baby girl.

She is still bawling, upset that I took so long to come.

I could sit there forever, with her in my arms. With her safe in my arms. But when I open my eyes, I only see an ever growing amount of smoke filling the room. I widen my eyes in alarm and clutch Willow closer to me.

That is when I begin crawling as low to the floor as I can. I take a huge gulp of air and try to hold it as long as possible. I roll into the hallway, protecting Willow from my weight by placing all my pressure on the muscles in my arm, so I do not crush her fragile body.

The smoke is getting darker and thicker faster and faster. I can barely see anymore and my mind is getting fuzzy as things vie for my attention. And then I am no longer in Sae's house. I am in the City Circle. The cool wind is biting against my face. The pressure of the children's bodies all around me. And then the sudden heat. The explosions all around me.

And then there is only one person screaming. Maybe it is me, but I don't bother to check. Then I am standing up and running. Running through the smoke and the flames lapping as my heels, threatening to catch me. But I never let them.

Everything is fighting, fighting for my attention. I know I can make it. Make it out of the house, but it is so hard to not drop down. To allow the memories of seeing my only sister turn into a fire ball crush me and kill me.

The only thing keeping me running is the pressure of my child in my hands. The fact that I know if I die, so does she. So I keep running. Keep going, if only for her and nothing else. My feet pound over the perfectly lacquered floor, echoing in my mind.

_Run Katniss! _I scream at myself. That is when I see the front door. I try to speed up, but I feel the smoke beginning to overwhelm me. My mind begins to get fuzzier and fuzzier. I push myself to run, if only for a few more feet.

For a moment, I feel as though I may collapse, finally give up when I am so close, but that is when I feel my weight smack into the door. I almost fall back from the force, as well as the fact that my body is so weak, but I do not. I hold myself up a little bit higher for a moment until I begin to fumble with the door handle.

When I finally free open the door, it swings toward me. It would have smacked me straight into the face had I not already been falling out the door, into the fresh night air. I run a few feet further, until I reach the small grove of trees in the center of the Victors' Village before I collapse onto the ground.

My lungs are burning, my skin screaming from the heat, my throat closing up, but I do not allow any of this to bother me because I know I have finally saved my daughter from the flames.

And with this thought in mind, and with my daughter wrapped safely in my arms, I allow my eyes to slowly close, as I take one final rasping breath before everything fades into black.

* * *

><p>I walk down the sidewalk, watching the world go by slowly, as it always has. I wave to people that I pass, being as friendly as possible.<p>

An older woman who I know to be a regular costumer at the bakery , walks closer to me, smiling. She stops next to me and cheerily greets me, "Well, hello, Peeta, how are you this fine day?"

I smile at her, "Wonderful, Ms. Pater," I tell her. "And how are you? And Violet and Apollo?" I ask. I know from past experience that she utterly adores it when you ask about her two grandchildren, who are her two favorite people in the world, but hates it when you mentions her late husband, Mitchen.

"Ohh! They are both wonderful, as am I!" She exclaims, her eyes lighting up. "And how is your lovely wife, Katniss? And your precious little daughter…aah…Willow!" She snaps her fingers as she remembers her name.

"They are wonderful, and Katniss is actually pregnant again." I say, beaming, as the words just seem to roll of my tongue.

"Dear goodness!" She says, clasping her hands in excitement, "That is just amazing!" She smiles so genuinely, that it is hard not to embrace her. "I may just have to stop by that wonderful home of yours to congratulate Katniss!"

I smile, "Thank you, Ms. Pater." I answer graciously.

"Come now," she scolds, "Call me Miriam!"

I laugh, "Alright, Miriam, thank you, truly. It will mean a lot to Katniss, I know that it will."

We strike up the usual small talk about the weather and such, and are just about to say our salutations when my head cranes to look at the road where there are large trucks rushing past. There are ambulances from the hospital, and trucks from the small fire department.

I watch them for a moment, fixed on them and whisper in my mind. _Please don't turn right…_

As if on cue, the parade of emergency vehicles turns right, their tires squealing beneath their huge bodies from their break-neck speeds.

I feel my heart drop out of my chest as the entire world recedes and I can only think about Katniss and Willow. "Mir…I have to go." I stutter and push through the crowd of people in front of one of the stores. I then begin sprinting down the sidewalk, only able to think of what could have happened. There are only three houses inhabited in Victors' Village. Ours, Haymitch's, and Sae's.

Running down the gravel path to our home, I feel my shoes kicking up clouds of dust, sending small pebbles flying. I follow the tire marks from the ambulances, praying that it isn't Katniss. I try to pick up my speed, but I feel my legs tiring. I am not built for distances, especially with my bad leg, but I force myself to keep running. To make it to her.

As I get closer, the smell of smoke begins to enter my nose, burning my airways. When I reach it to the fork in the road, going in both directions around the circle of the Victors' Village. I turn my head to look at our house and see it perfectly intact, not a mark on it.

But, turning my head to look in the other direction, the direction of Sae's house, I see a huge billow of smoke floating above the fire-scorched house. And the is when I see a lithe, burned body being laid across a gurney.

The glint of her dark brown hair tells me exactly who she is. That is when I feel myself falling. I barely register my own lips forming her name, shouting as I run to her. Two men try to block me from seeing her, but I just ram through them and over to her.

Seeing her face jolts me back to reality. It is covered in charred ashes, the smell of smoke clinging to her clothes. Her one arm is bloodied, still bleeding through the wrap they have managed to get around her entire lower arm. Her chest is barely rising and falling as she lay completely still, not even moving her hands. Her eyes are closed, her mouth opened slightly, pulling air into her lungs, but just barely.

I collapse onto my knees, slamming into the ground, burying my face into my hands. I feel the pressure of someone's hand on my shoulder after a moment. Give it to the two visits to the arena, or the hijacking, but I spin around, throwing it off of me, taking it as aggression.

The man holds his hands up in surrender, but his eyes connect with mine, "Do you know her?" he questions as I watch her being loaded into the ambulance.

"She is my wife." My shaking voice is barely audible, hardly able to form the simplest of words.

He raises his eyebrows, "Then by all means, get in with her, you will be taken to the hospital with the young child as well."

"Willow?" I choke out.

He stares at me for a moment, and then shrugs, "I have no idea, I am sorry."

I stand up, and then run over to the ambulance, the man following my closely as I jump inside. I sit down beside Katniss, my entire body shaking. I take her good hand into mine and bury my face into them, tears springing to my eyes as different emergency workers bustle around me to hook her up to dozens of machines, supporting her.

I block everything out except for her. All I can hear is her intake of slow, shallow breaths. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks, dropping onto the gurney.

The ambulance lurches forward, speeding down the road and out of the Victors' Village. I barely register the ride to the hospital, only the fact that Katniss' breathing is getting slower and slower as each moment goes by.

When the care slams to a stop, I barely move. That is when the back doors swing open, and they pull her away from me. I look up, shocked, and that is when I feel myself slipping away. "No!" I shout, flinging myself after her, but they have already wheeled her inside, and I am left with a young nurse, who is trying desperately to calm me down.

"Please, sir, please, she will be in good hands, just calm down." She stammers, trying to lay her hands on my shoulders to clam me.

"No!" I shout, "No, she won't!" I shout, feeling tears filling my eyes again. "I promised that I would take care of her! I promised that I would let nothing happen to her!" I shout. "I promised!" When I cross the line into hysteria, I feel the familiar pinch of a needle, and then black.

* * *

><p>I lurch awake and I am in a familiar sterile hospital room. I am faced with a tall man in a set of scrubs, his eyes are serious, but there is a hint of remorse in them. I jolt up, jumping out of the bed, and stare him straight in the eyes. "Where is Katniss? And Willow?" I demand, my voice hoarse.<p>

He looks up at me and takes a deep breath, "The child will be fine, just minor smoke inhalation she was saved by being in one of the upper rooms while the main portion of the fire was going on, and then the quick thinking of Katniss." He explains.

I allow myself to breathe, until I realize he hasn't said anything about Katniss. "And Katniss?" I am barely able to get the sentence out for fear of the answer.

"Peeta..she…" He exhales loudly, looking down at his hands and then back up at me, "She is barely hanging on." He murmurs. "The smoke took a huge toll on her. She has pretty bad burns, and she hit a pretty large blood vessel in her arm from that cut." He pauses for a moment before look me straight in the eyes. "Peeta, I…I don't know if she'll be able to make it. There is just too much going against her…" His voice trails off. He looks at me for a moment, and must see what he is saying register on my face, because he looks at me one more time before standing and walking out.

I stare after him for a moment before collapsing to my knees, my entire body shaking. I feel as though the entire world has receded into nothingness.

Within seconds, I cross the line between utter despair into a near psychotic anger. I jump up and grab a small vase filled with violets off of the small night table and hurl it across the room. I then set my sights on a pile of books and magazines on a small coffee table beside a couch, which I promptly shove off the table, causing them to fly into the wall, clattering as they slam onto the floor.

The door swings open and there stands the nurse from earlier, her eyes wide with shock as I fling a cup across the room and at the door. She immediately slams the door shut as the cup smashes into the wooden door, breaking into hundreds of pieces.

"Mr. Mellark?" her voice comes out timidly as she opens the door a crack, barely poking her face in.

"Get out!" I shout, my voice shaking. "Get out!"

The door closes swiftly, blocking out the outside world, leaving me alone. For a moment, I just stand there. And then, I am on the floor, the weight of the world crushing me. Sobs wrack my body, sending me over the edge.

"Take me instead!" I shout, looking skyward. "Let me take her place!" I shout, clamping my eyes shut, trying to block the tears from leaving my eyes.

I remember a few details from my childhood, and one of those memories is that my mother always used to tell us that there was something greater than us. He created us and took care of us. I always scoffed at the idea. If there really was someone like that, why wouldn't they stop the Hunger Games? Why would they even allow them to happen in the first place? So, I never believed my mother. I would just tune out when she began to talk about that sort of stuff. Religion, and such.

But, right now, in this moment, I look up, and pray to whomever it may be, to who ever created me, to allow me to take her place. I bury my tear-streaked face into my hands and whisper so quietly that it would be impossible for anyone else to hear, "Take my life instead, take the life that you gave me if only so that she could live."

"Peeta?" The doctor's voice swims around in my mind, barely registering in my head. I turn my stiff neck toward him, looking up at him with my dead eyes.

"Peeta, she is out of surgery, you can come see her if you like." He murmurs, his voice low, soothing, "She is still in a medical induced coma, but you can see her."

I stand slowly, moving in robotics-like motions. I can barely move, let alone move quickly.

The doctor stays next to me with each step, "Now, nothing is guaranteed, but she seems to be responding well to the treatments." He states.

I stare at him for a moment, my face void of emotions, but I feel a tinge of anger at the way he says this. He makes it seem as though she is some test animal and she is doing exactly what they please with a lethal drug.

"This way," he says, gently.

I follow him, and within a few strides, I see her though the glass. Her face is pale, and different machines are connected to her from all directions. One I think is showing her heart rate has a barely moving line.

I stop dead in my tracks for a moment, utterly shocked by how fragile she looks. Her entire right arm is covered in a tick white gauze, while most of her left side is charred from the flames. I take a few steps forward and press my hands against the glass separating her from me.

"Katniss…" My voice is hoarse and barely recognizable.

"Peeta, she's doing a lot better than expected, after everything, but…" he pauses, clutched the window sill, staring in at her.

I turn to look at him, "Doctor, just tell me, after everything, nothing will be a shock." I choke out, my voice strained.

He turns to face me completely, his blue eyes penetrating mine, "Well, if you really can handle it…" his voice trails off a second time. He must be think about how to tell me, because he begins speaking under his breath, almost arguing with himself.

"Doctor, please just tell me, I can't handle much more, let alone waiting for more bad news. It will drive me mad, if I haven't already crossed that line." I feel a numbness where my heart should be and nothingness where my mind should be, so maybe I have gone insane. Again. Maybe nothing has changed. Maybe I will go tracker jacker mad again. Maybe I will just die, just to get rid of the pain. The pain that has always haunted me. Maybe I will finally be free.

I glance over at Katniss. Maybe we will both finally be free of all that has held just tight restraints on our hearts for so long. Just maybe.

He takes a deep breath and looks up at me, his eyes seemingly penetrating my everything. "Peeta, I am sorry, during the procedure, it seems that Katniss…" he takes one final breath before he just spits it out. "During the procedure, Katniss lost the fetus."

I stare at him for a moment dumbfounded, and he must take the hint.

He looks up at me with impenetrable grief in his eyes and elaborates. "Peeta, Katniss lost the baby in her womb."

* * *

><p><strong>Well, you guys guessed it. After about a month, I am back. It took a little bit, but I was finally able to accept what happened. So now, I march on with my writing. With this, my lovely RtF, and my Titanic novel, which is currently in the works for being submitted for publication. Now, I have actually started up a Twitter. I am Zentanic14 if y'all want to follow. I will post little teasers every few days as I write for y'all. I truly appreciate the support of all of you. It helped me feel right with my decision to suspend writing for a little bit. I started this chapter two and a half months ago, and finished today. Hopefully none of you hate me for killing off Maybe-Mellark Baby #2. And Like stated, Willow is perfectly fine. Just some smoke inhalation ;) So no worries on her. Anyway, thank y'all for all the support again. I love every single one of you with all of my heart. <strong>

**With love,**

**Amber**


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